how citizen pierre-claude faraud was made a sub-lieutenant
this collecting of musket balls lasted four days; but the english and turks finally guessed the meaning of this performance which they had at first taken to be bravado.
a count of the balls showed that they had picked up thirty-four hundred. bonaparte paid for them to the last sou through estève, the paymaster of the army.
"ah!" said estève, when he recognized the sergeant-major, "so you are speculating in artillery again! i paid you for a cannon at froeschwiller, and now i am to pay you for thirty-four hundred cannon-balls at saint-jean-d'acre."
"pooh!" said the sergeant-major, "i am none the richer for it; the six hundred francs at froeschwiller, together with the prince de condé's treasure, went to the fund of the widows and orphans of dawendorff."
"and what are you going to do with this money?"
"oh! i have a use for it."
"might i ask what it is?"
[pg 636]
"certainly, since i depend on you to undertake the commission, citizen-paymaster. this money is destined for our brave captain guillet's old mother. he was killed at the last assault. he bequeathed her to his company before he died. the republic is not very rich and might forget to pay the pensions of its widows. well, in default of a pension the company will send her a little capital. it is a great pity, though, that those fools of turks and those devils of englishmen should have guessed our game and refused to keep it up any longer; we would have made up a sum of a thousand francs for the poor woman. but what will you, citizen-paymaster! the prettiest girl in the world can give no more than she has; and the thirty-second brigade, although it is the prettiest girl in the army, has only one hundred and seventy francs to offer."
"where does captain guillet's mother live?"
"at chateauroux, the capital of the indre. ah! it is fine to be faithful to one's old regiment, and that is just what he was, that brave captain guillet."
"very well, the sum shall be paid to her, in the name of the third company of the thirty-second brigade, and of—"
"pierre-claude faraud, the executor of his will."
"thanks. and now, pierre-claude faraud, the commander-in-chief wishes me to say to you that he wants to speak with you."
"whenever he likes," replied the sergeant-major, with that twist of the neck which was peculiar to him. "pierre-claude faraud is never too much embarrassed to talk."
"he will send for you."
"i await the summons." and the sergeant-major turned upon his heel and returned to the barracks of the thirty-second brigade, to wait until he was sent for.
bonaparte was eating dinner in his tent when he was informed that the sergeant-major whom he had sent for was awaiting his pleasure.
"let him come in," said bonaparte.
the sergeant-major entered.
[pg 637]
"ah! it is you," said bonaparte.
"yes, citizen-general, did you not send for me?" replied faraud.
"what brigade do you belong to?"
"the thirty-second."
"to what company?"
"the third."
"captain?"
"captain guillet, deceased."
"not replaced?"
"not replaced."
"which of the two lieutenants is the braver."
"there is no 'braver' in the thirty-second. they are all equally brave."
"the older, then?"
"lieutenant valats, who stayed at his post with a shot through his breast."
"the second lieutenant was not wounded?"
"that was not his fault."
"very well. valats then will be captain, and the second lieutenant will succeed him. now, is there not an under-officer who has distinguished himself?"
"all the men distinguished themselves."
"but i cannot make them all lieutenants, stupid."
"that is a fact. well, then there is taberly."
"who is taberly?"
"a brave man."
"and would his appointment be well received?"
"with applause."
"then there will be a vacant sub-lieutenancy. who is the oldest sergeant-major?"
the man whom he was questioning made a movement with his neck as if his cravat were strangling him. "he is one pierre-claude faraud," he replied.
"what have you to say about him?"
"nothing much."
"perhaps you do not know him?"
[pg 638]
"it is exactly because i do know him."
"well, i know him also."
"you know him, general?"
"yes; he is an aristocrat of the army of the rhine—"
"oh!"
"a quarrelsome fellow—"
"general!"
"whom i caught fighting a duel with a brave republican at milan."
"he was one of his friends, general. friends may fight."
"and whom i sent to the guard-house for forty-eight hours."
"twenty-four, general."
"then i cheated him out of the other twenty-four."
"he is ready to take them, general."
"a sub-lieutenant is not sent to the guard-house; he is put under arrest."
"general, pierre-claude faraud is not a sub-lieutenant, he is only a sergeant-major."
"oh, yes; he is a sub-lieutenant."
"that's a good one, for example! since when?"
"since this morning. see what it is to have patrons."
"i? patrons?"
"oho! so it is you?"
"yes, it is i. and i should like to know who my patrons are."
"i," replied estève, "who have twice seen you generously give away money which you have earned."
"and i," said roland, "because i want a brave man to second me on an expedition from which few will return."
"take him," said bonaparte; "but i advise you not to give him sentry duty if there are any wolves in the country."
"what, general, do you know that story?"
"i know everything, monsieur."
"general," said faraud, "you are the one to do my twenty-four hours in the guard-house."
"why?"
[pg 639]
"because you have just said monsieur."
"come, come," said bonaparte, laughing, "you are a bright fellow; i shall remember you. in the meantime you must drink a glass of wine to the health of the republic."
"general," said roland, "citizen faraud never drinks to the health of the republic in anything but brandy."
"the deuce! and i have none," said bonaparte.
"i have provided for the emergency," replied roland; and going to the flap of the tent he said, "come in, citizeness reason."
citizeness reason obeyed. she was still beautiful, although the sun of egypt had darkened her complexion.
"rose here!" exclaimed faraud.
"do you know the citizeness?" asked roland, laughing.
"i should think so; she is my wife!" replied faraud.
"citizeness," said bonaparte, "i saw you at work in the midst of the musket balls. roland wanted to pay you for the brandy you gave him when he came out of the water, but you refused. as i had no brandy here, and my guests each desire a glass, roland said: 'let us call the goddess of reason, and we can pay her for it all at the same time.' so we called you. now serve us."
citizeness reason tipped her little cask and poured out a glassful for each. she forgot faraud.
"when the health of the republic is drunk," observed roland, "everybody drinks."
"but any one who chooses is at liberty to drink water," cried bonaparte; and raising his glass, he cried, gayly, "to the health of the republic."
the toast was repeated in chorus. then roland, drawing a parchment from his pocket, said: "here is your bill of exchange on posterity, but it is in your husband's name. you may indorse it, but he alone can use it."
the goddess of reason unfolded the parchment with trembling hands, while faraud looked on with sparkling eyes.
"here, pierre," she cried, "read it! it is your commission as sub-lieutenant in taberly's place."
[pg 640]
"is that true?" asked faraud.
"look for yourself."
faraud looked.
"hurrah! sub-lieutenant faraud!" he shouted. "long live general bonaparte!"
"twenty-four hours' arrest for having cried 'long live general bonaparte!' instead of 'long live the republic!'" said bonaparte.
"i certainly cannot escape them," said faraud; "but i will do those twenty-four hours with pleasure."