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CHAPTER II. Pondered.

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the sandy-haired slim young man, whose name was muxky, who was a member of the royal college of surgeons of england, and who amongst the few poor people of brighton that knew of his existence enjoyed the brevet-rank of doctor, found himself in anything but a pleasant position. the man to see whom he had been called in was dead; there was no doubt of that. no pulsation in the heart, dropped jaw, fixed eyes--all the usual appearances--ay, and rather more than the usual appearances: "what we professionally call the rigor mortis--the stiffness immediately succeeding death, my dear sir, is in this case very peculiarly developed." mr. muxky, in the course of his attendance at st. bartholomew's hospital, had seen many deathbeds, had inspected in an easy and pleasant manner many dead bodies; but he had never seen one which had presented such an extraordinary aspect of rigidity so immediately after death. he approached the bed once more, turned back the sheet which mrs. bush had drawn over the face, and kneeling by the side of the bed, passed his hand over and under the body. as he moved, gilbert lloyd moved too, taking up his position close behind him, and watching him narrowly. for an instant a deep look of anxiety played across gilbert lloyd's face, the lines round the mouth deepened and darkened, the brows came down over the sunken eyes, and the under jaw, relaxing, lost its aspect of determination; but as mr. muxky turned from the bed and addressed him, lloyd's glance was perfectly steady, and his face expressed no emotions stronger than those which under the circumstances every man would be expected to feel, and no man would care to hide.

"this is rather an odd experience, my dear sir," said mr. muxky; "called in to see our poor friend, who has, as it were, slipped his cable before my arrival. our poor friend, now, was a--well--man of the world as you are--you will understand what i mean--our poor friend was a--free liver."

yes, gilbert lloyd thought that he was a man who ate and drank heartily, and never stinted himself in anything.

"nev-er stinted himself in anything!" repeated mr. muxky, who had by this time added many years to his personal appearance, and entirely prevented the bystanders from gleaning any expression from his eyes, by the assumption of a pair of glasses of neutral tint--"nev-er stinted himself in anything! ah, a great deal may be ascribed to that, my dear sir; a great deal may be ascribed to that!"

"yes," said gilbert lloyd carelessly; "if a man will take as much lobster-salad and strasbourg pie as he can eat, with as much champagne and moselle as he can carry; and if, in spite of the remonstrances of his friends, he will sit without his hat on the top of a drag, with the august sun beating down upon him--"

"did he do that, my dear sir--did he do that?"

"he did, indeed! several of us implored him to be careful; but you might as well have spoken to the wind as to him, poor dear fellow. we told him that he'd probably have a--a--what do you call it?"

"general derangement of the system? flux of blood to the--"

"no, no; sunstroke--that's what i mean; sunstroke. perigal, who was out in india in the punjaub business--he was on our drag when poor harvey was taken bad, and he said it was sunstroke all over--regular case."

"did he, indeed?" said mr. muxky. "well, that's odd, very odd! from the symptoms you have described, i imagined that it must have been something of the kind:--brain overdone, system overtaxed. in this railway age, mr. lloyd, we live such desperately rapid lives, concentrate so much mental energy and bodily fibre into a few years, that--"

"i'm glad you're satisfied, mr. muxky," said gilbert lloyd, pulling out his purse. "it's a satisfaction in these melancholy cases to know that everything has been done, and that there was no chance of saving the poor fellow, even if--"

"i scarcely say that, mr. lloyd. a little bloodletting might, if taken at the exact moment--in tempore veni; you recollect the old quotation--might have been of some use. there's a prejudice just now against the use of the lancet, i know; but still-- for me?" taking a crisp hank-note which lloyd handed to him. "o, thank you, thank you! this is far too munifi--"

"the labourer, mr. muxky, is worthy of his hire," said gilbert lloyd: "and it is our fault--not yours--that you were summoned too late. but, as you just now remarked, it is impossible in these cases to know what is impending, or how nigh may be the danger. i was very much struck by that remark. and now good-afternoon, mr. muxky. i must go out and find my poor wife, who is quite upset by this unfortunate affair. good-afternoon--not another word of thanks, i beg; and any of the usual formalities in these matters---i don't know what they are--but certificates, and that kind of thing, we may look to you to settle? thanks again. good-day."

and gilbert lloyd shook hands with the overwhelmed mr. muxky, whose eyes gleamed even through the neutral-tinted glasses, and whose pale face burst into a pleased perspiration, as he crumpled the crisp bank-note into his waistcoat-pocket, and followed mrs. bush down the stairs.

"a sensible man that, mrs. bush," said he when he reached the first landing; "a very sensible, kind-hearted, clear-headed man. under all the circumstances, you're very lucky in having had such a man in the house. no fuss, no preposterous excitement--everything quite proper, but thoroughly businesslike."

"you're right, dr. muxky," responded the sympathetic landlady. "when i saw as clear as clear that that poor creature was going the way of all flesh--which is grass, and also dust and ashes--and knew i'd got those miss twillows in the drawing-rooms, you might have knocked me down with a feather. nervous is nothing to what the miss twillows is; and coming regular from peckham for the sea-bathing now five years, regular as the month of july comes round; and giving no trouble, through bringing their own maid; and stopping on all september,--without perambulators in the passage, and children's boots, which after being filled with sand will not take the polish,--their leaving would be a loss to me which--"

mrs. bush stopped suddenly in her harangue, as the drawing-room door, by which they were standing, was cautiously opened, and an elderly female head was slowly protruded. it was a large head, and yet it had what is called a "skimpy" character. what little hair there was on it was of a mixed pepper-and-salt kind of colour, and gathered into two large roll-curls, one on either side of the head, in front, and into a thin wisp behind. in this wisp was stuck a comb, pendent from which was a little bit of black lace. the features could not be defined, as the lower part of the face was entirely hidden in a handkerchief held to the nose, exhaling pungent vinegar. mr. muxky stared a little at this apparition--stared more when the head wagged and the mouth opened, and the word "doctor?" was uttered in interrogative accent. then mr. muxky, beginning to perceive how the land lay, said in his softest tones: "yes, my dear madam, i am the doctor."

the head dropped again, and again the lips opened. "fever?" was what they said this time, while a skinny hand at the end of a skinny arm made itself manifest, pointing upwards.

"fever," repeated mr. muxky, "that has removed our poor friend upstairs--nothing of the sort, my dear madam, i can assure you; nothing but--"

"not smallpox?--don't say it's smallpox!" this from another voice, the owner of which was in the background, unseen. "o, hannah, does he say it's smallpox?"

"he don't say anything of the kind, miss twillow," interposed mrs. bush; "knowing that in the midst of life we are in death, specially sitting in hot suns without our hats on the tops of stage-coaches, and to say nothing of too much to drink. you've never been inconvenienced since you've been in this house, have you, m'm? and you won't be now. it isn't my fault, i'm sure; nor yet dr. muxky's; and, considering all things, not a great put-out, though doubtless upsetting to the nerves."

"that's just the point, mrs. bush," said mr. muxky, who was not going to lose the chance; "nothing to fear; but yet, some temperaments so constituted that--like the ?olian harp--the--the slightest breath of fright has an effect on them. if my poor services now could be of any use--"

"yes, now do," said mrs. bush, "miss twillow, miss hannah; just see the doctor for a minute. you've had a shock, i'll allow, and it's natural you should be upset; but the doctor will put you right in a minute."

thus mr. muxky secured two new patients; not a bad day's work.

while these matters were in progress in the house gertrude had left, and the subdued bustle inevitably attendant upon the necessary care and the unavoidable household disorganisation which succeeds a death, even when the dead is only a stranger in the house where the solution of the enigma has come to him,--she was sitting on the shore close by the foamy edge of the waves, and thinking.

gertrude had gone down to the shore across the broad road, now crowded with people out for the bright summer afternoon; with carriages and gigs, with vehicles of the highest elegance, and with such as had no pretence to anything but convenience; with pedestrians of every class, assembled with all sorts of objects, hygiene and flirtation being predominant. she had gone away down the slope, and on to the strip of pebbly sand; and where one of the wooden barriers marked out a measured space, she sat down on a seaweed-flecked heap of shingle, and began to think. the long line of the horizon, where the blue sea met the blue sky, parted only by a narrow verge of light, broken white clouds, was before her--between it and her absent, troubled eyes lay the wide expanse of sea. a short space only parted her from the moving, restless, talking crowd upon the esplanade; but her sense of solitude was complete. the ridge of the slope hid her; the soft plash of the sea, with its monotonous recurrence, soothed her ear, and deadened the sound of wheels and the murmur of voices; her eyes met only the great waters, across which sometimes a boat glided, on which sometimes a sea-bird's wing rested for an instant. as gertrude sat there, with her arms extended and her hands tightly clasped together, with her head bent forward and her eyes fixed upon the distant line of the sea and sky, her thoughts obeyed her will, and formed themselves, consecutive, complete, and purposeful. the girl--for she was but a girl, after all--had brought thither a heavy trouble; to be taken out, looked at, weighed, examined. she had brought there a half-developed purpose, to be thought into maturity, to be fully fashioned and resolved upon. before she should leave that place she would have done these things; and when she should leave it, a new phase in her life would have begun. ineffable sadness was in her brown eyes--grief and dread, which did not seem newly born there, but constant dwellers, only that to-day they had been suddenly awakened once again from temporary repose. if there had been anyone to see gertrude, as she sat by the edge of the waves, and to note her face, with its concentrated and yet varying expression, that person, if an acute observer, would have been struck by the contrast between the eyes and the mouth. the character of the look in the eyes shifted and varied; there was fear in it, grief, weariness, disgust, sometimes even horror; and these expressions passed like the lights and shadows over a fair landscape. but the mouth did not vary; firm, closely shut,--so compressed that its tightness produced a white line above the red of the upper lip,-- it expressed power and resolution, when that long process of thinking--too purposeful to be called a reverie--commenced, and it expressed power and resolution when at length gertrude rose. hours had passed over her unheeded, as she sat by the sea; the afternoon had lengthened into the evening; the crowd of loungers had dispersed. she had heard, but not heeded, the church-bells ringing for evening service; and now silence was all around her, and the red flush of sunset was upon the sky and the sea. when she had risen from her seat of shingle, gertrude stood for some minutes and looked along the shore, where her solitary figure seemed doubly lonely. then she turned and scanned the long line of the houses and the road, on which a few scattered human beings only were moving. a strange reluctance to move possessed her; but at length she shook it off, and with a slight shudder turned her back upon the sea, fast becoming gray as the sun went down, and walked steadily, though not quickly, back to the lodging-house where she had left her husband.

as she drew near to the house, gertrude looked up at the window of the room in which she had seen harvey gore die. it was open; but the green blind was closely drawn. looking upwards at the window, she did not perceive till she was close upon it that the house-door was slightly ajar; but as she raised her hand to the knocker, the door was opened widely by mrs. bush, and gertrude, going into the passage, found gilbert lloyd there. the sudden sight of him caused her to start for an instant, but not perceptibly; and mrs. bush immediately addressed her with voluble questions and regrets.

where had she been all this time? she had gone out without her lunch, and had she had nothing to eat? how uneasy she and mr. lloyd had been about her! (mr. lloyd had evidently secured by this time a high place in the good graces of mrs. bush.) mr. lloyd had been waiting and watching for her ever so long; and she, mrs. bush, as soon as ever the poor dear dead gentleman upstairs had been "put tidy,"--which was her practical mode of expressing the performance of the toilet of the dead,--had been also watching and waiting for mrs. lloyd's reappearance. suspicion and scanty civility had given place in the manner of the worthy landlady--who was infinitely satisfied with the proper sense of what was due to her in the unfortunate position of affairs exhibited by gilbert lloyd--to anxiety for the comfort of the young lady whom she had so unwillingly received.

during the colloquy between mrs. bush and gertrude, gilbert lloyd had been standing, awkwardly enough, in the passage, but without speaking. but when a pause came, and gertrude approached the parlour-door, he spoke.

"where have you been, gertrude?" he asked sternly.

his wife stood still and answered, but did not look at him.

"i have been sitting by the seashore."

"you must be cold and hungry, i should think."

"i am neither."

"i suppose you know you cannot remain here?"

"why?"

he seemed a little at a loss for an answer; but replied, after a moment's pause:

"a death in the house is sufficient reason. mrs. bush can't attend to a lady-lodger, under the circumstances. you can go back to town in the morning; for to-night i shall take you to the nearest hotel."

"very well."

she never looked at him; not by the most fleeting flicker of an eyelash did she address her face to him, though he looked steadily at her, trying to compel her glance. she went into the parlour, through the folding-door into the bedroom, collected the few articles which she had taken out of her travelling-bag, and returned, carrying it in her hand. evidently all arrangements had been made by gilbert lloyd with mrs. bush: no more was said. gertrude took a friendly leave of the landlady, and went out of the house, walking silently by her husband's side. he did not offer her his arm, and not a word was spoken between them until the door of a private sitting-room at the george had closed behind them. then he turned savagely round upon her, and said, in a thick low voice, "the meaning of this foolery?"

this time she looked at him--looked him straight in the face with the utmost calmness. there was not the least flush of colour in her pale face, not the slightest trembling of her lips, not the smallest flutter of her hands,--by which in woman agitation is so often betrayed,--as she said calmly, "you are polite, but mysterious. and i suppose the journey, or something, has rendered me a little dull. i don't quite follow you. what 'foolery' are you pleased to ask the meaning of?"

she had the best of it so far. she stood erect, facing the light, her head thrown back, her arm outstretched, with nothing of bravado, but with a good deal of earnestness in her manner and air. gilbert lloyd's head was sunk on his breast, his brow was knit over his frowning eyes, his lips tightly set, and his under-jaw was clenched and rigid. his hands were plunged into his pockets, and he had commenced to pace the room; but at his wife's question he stopped, and said, "what foolery! why, the foolery of your conduct in those lodgings this day; the foolery of your coming down, in the first place, when you weren't wanted, and of your conduct once you came."

"i came," said gertrude, in a perfectly calm voice, and still looking him steadily in the face, "in pursuance of the arrangement between us. it was your whim, when last i saw you, to wish for my company here; and you settled the time at which i was to come. my 'foolery' so far consists in having exactly obeyed you."

"your obedience is very charming," said gilbert lloyd with a sneer; "and no doubt i should have enjoyed your company as much as i generally do. few men are blessed with wives embodying all the cardinal virtues. but circumstances have changed since we made that arrangement. i couldn't tell this man was going to die, i suppose?"

she had purposely turned her face away when her husband began to sneer at her, and was pretending to occupy herself with opening her travelling-bag; but as these words fell upon her ear, she drew herself to her full height, and again looking steadily at him, said, "i suppose not."

"you suppose not! why, of course not! by heavens, it's enough to drive a man to desperation to be tied for life to a white-faced cat like this, who stands opposite him repeating his words, and shows no more interest in him than--by jove," he exclaimed, shaking his clenched fist at her, "i feel as if i could knock the life out of you!"

to have been struck by him would have been no novel experience on gertrude's part. more than once in these paroxysms of temper he had seized her roughly by the arm or shoulder, leaving the livid imprint of his hand on her delicate flesh; and she fully expected that he would strike her now. but as he spoke he had been hastily pacing the room; and it was not until he stopped to menace her that he looked in her face, and saw there an expression such as he had never seen before. anger, terror, misery, obstinacy, contempt,--all these passions he had often seen mirrored in gertrude's features, but never the aversion, the horror, the loathing which now appeared there. the look seemed to paralyse him, for in it he divined the feelings of which it was the reflex. his extended arm dropped by his side, and his whole manner changed, as he said, "there! enough of that! it was hard enough for me to have the trouble of poor gore's illness to fight against, without anything else; and when you did come, gertrude, i thought--well"--pulling himself together, as it were, he bent forward towards her, and with a soft look in his eyes and an inexpressible tenderness in his voice, whispered, "i thought you might have brought a word of cheer and comfort and--and love--to your poor old gilbert, who--"

while speaking he gradually drew near to her, and advanced his hand until it touched her waist. gertrude no sooner felt his clasp than, with a short sharp cry as if of bodily pain, she withdrew herself from it.

"don't touch me!" she exclaimed, in a voice half choked with sobs. her calmness was gone, and her whole system was quivering with emotion. "for heaven's sake keep off! never lay your touch on me, in kindness or in cruelty, again, or you will find that the 'white-faced cat' has claws, and can use them."

gilbert lloyd stared for an instant in mute astonishment at his wife, who stood confronting him, her eyes sparkling like glowing coals in the midst of her pale face, her hair pushed back off her forehead, her hands tightly clasped behind her head. he was cowed by this sudden transformation, by this first act of overt rebellion on gertrude's part, and thought it best to temporise. so he said, "why, gertrude darling, my little lady, what's all--"

"no more of that gilbert," she interrupted, calming herself by a strong effort, unlocking her hands, and again confronting him. "those pet names are things of the past now--of the past, which must be to us even more dead and more forgotten than it is to most people."

the solemnity of her tone and of her look angered him, and he said shortly, "don't preach, please. spare yourself that."

"i am not preaching, gilbert, and i am not--as you sometimes tell me--acting; but i have something to say which you must hear."

"must, eh? well, come down off your stilts, and say it."

"gilbert lloyd," said gertrude, "this day you and i part for ever. don't interrupt me," she said, as he made a hasty gesture; "hear me out. i knew that this would be the end of our hasty and ill-advised marriage; but i did not think the end would come so soon. it has come now, and no power on earth would induce me to alter my determination."

"o, that's it, is it?" said lloyd, after a minute's silence. "and this is my wife, if you please; this is the young lady who promised to love, honour, and obey! this woman, who now coolly talks about our parting for ever, is one who has hung about my neck a thousand times and--"

"no," exclaimed gertrude, interrupting him, "no! this" (touching herself lightly on the breast) "is your wife indeed--is the woman who bears your name and has borne your caprices; but" (again touching herself) "this is not the woman that left london this morning. i wish to heaven i were--i wish to heaven i were!"

she uttered these last words in a low plaintive tone that was almost a wail, and covered her face with her hands.

"this is mere foolery and nonsense," said lloyd, after a momentary pause. "you wish you were, indeed! if you're not the same woman, what the devil has changed you?"

"do you want to know?" she asked suddenly, looking up at him,--not eagerly, boldly, or defiantly, but with the expression of horror and loathing which he had previously noticed.

"no!" he replied with an oath; "why should i waste my time listening to your string of querulous complaints? you want a separation, do you? well, i am not disposed to say 'no' to any reasonable request; but if i agree to this, mind, it's not to be the usual business."

finding he paused, gertrude said, "i scarcely understand you."

"well, i mean that 'parting for ever' does not mean coming together again next month, to live in a fool's paradise for a week, and then hate each other worse than ever. if we part, we part for ever, which means that we never meet again on earth--or rather, that we begin life afresh, with the recollection of the last few months completely expunged. we have neither of us any relations to worry us with attempts at reconciliation; not half-a-dozen men know of the fact of my having been married, and none of them have ever seen you. so that on both sides we start entirely free. it is not very likely that we shall ever run across each other's path in the future; but if we do, we meet as entire strangers, and the fact of our having been anything to one another must never be brought forward to prejudice any scheme in which either of us may be engaged. do you follow me?"

"perfectly."

"and does what i propose meet your views?"

"entirely."

"that's right. curious," said lloyd, with a short, sharp laugh,--"curious that just as we are about to part, we should begin to agree. however, you're right, i suppose; we could not hit it; we were always having tremendous rows, and now each of us can go our own way; and," he added, under his breath, as he glanced at gertrude's expressive face and trim figure, "i don't think i've had the worst of the bargain."

after a moment's silence, lloyd said, "what do you propose to do?"

"i have no schemes at present," gertrude replied; "and if i had, you have no right to ask about them."

"you've not taken long to shake off your harness, by jove!" said lloyd bitterly. "however, whatever you do hereafter, you must have something to start with now." he took out a pocket-book, and counted from it some bank-notes. "i've not done so badly as people thought," said he; "and here are two hundred pounds, all my available capital. yon shall have half of this--here it is." he pushed a roll of notes towards her. she took it without a word, and placed it in her travelling-bag. "you'll sleep here to-night, i suppose; and had better clear out of this place early to-morrow. i shall have to stay until after the funeral. and now, i suppose, that's about all?"

"all," said gertrude, taking up her travelling-bag and moving towards the door.

"won't you--won't you say 'good-bye'?" said lloyd, putting out his hand as she passed him.

gertrude made him no reply; but she gathered her dress tightly round her, as though to preserve it from his touch; and on glancing at her face gilbert lloyd saw there the same look of horror and loathing which had paralysed him even in the midst of his furious rage.

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