they came forward, and suddenly the girl raised her face. she made a little hesitating movement of non-recognition, and then suddenly her face was transformed by a very pleasant smile. there was something peculiar in hilda carew's smile, which came from the fact that her eyelashes were golden, while her eyes were dark blue. the effect suggested a fascinating kitten. in repose her face was almost severe in its refined beauty, and the set of her lips indicated a certain self-reliance which with years might become more prominent if trouble should arrive.
“christian!” she exclaimed, “i am sorry i did not know you.” they shook hands, and molly hastened to introduce her sister's companion.
“mr. farrar,” she said; “mr. vellacott.”
the two men shook hands, and christian was disappointed. the grip of farrar's fingers was limp and almost nerveless, in striking contradiction to the promise of his honest face and well-set person.
“tea is ready,” said molly somewhat hastily; “let us go in.”
hilda and her companion passed on in front while molly and christian followed them. the latter purposely lagged behind, and his companion found herself compelled to wait for him.
“look at the effect of the sunlight through the trees upon that water,” said he in a conversational way; “it is quite green, and almost transparent.”
“yes,” replied molly, moving away tentatively, “we see most peculiar effects over the moat. the water is so very still and deep.”
he raised his quiet eyes to her face, upon which the ready smile still lingered. as she met his gaze she raised her hand and pushed back a few truant wisps of hair which, curling forward like tendrils, tickled her cheek. it was a movement he soon learned to know.
“yes,” he said absently. he was wondering in an analytical way whether the action was habitual with her, or significant of embarrassment. at length he turned to follow her, but molly had failed in her object; the others had passed out of earshot.
“tell me,” said christian in a lowered voice, “who is he?”
“he is the squire of st. mary eastern, six miles from here,” she replied; “very well off; very good to his mother, and in every way nice.”
christian tore off a small branch which would have touched his forehead had he walked on without stooping. he broke it into small pieces, and continued throwing up at intervals into the air a tiny stick, hitting it with his hand as they walked on.
“and,” he said suggestively, “and—”
“yes, christian,” she replied decisively, “they are engaged. come, let us hurry; i always pour out the tea. i told you before, if you remember, that i was the only person in the house who did any work.”
when christian opened his eyes the following morning, the soft hum of insects fell on his ear instead of the roar of london traffic. through the open window the southern air blew upon his face. above the sound of busy wings the distant sea sang its low dirge. it was a living perspective of sound. the least rustle near at hand overpowered it, and yet it was always there—an unceasing throb to be felt as much as heard. some acoustic formation of the land carried the noise, for the sea was eight miles away. it was very peaceful; for utter stillness is not peace. a room wherein an old clock ticks is infinitely more soothing than a noiseless chamber.
nevertheless the feeling that forced itself into christian vellacott's waking thoughts was not peaceful. it was a sense of discomfort. town-people expect too much from the country—that is the truth of it. they quite overlook the fact that where human beings are there can be no peace.
this sudden sense of restlessness annoyed him. he knew it so well. it had hovered over his waking head almost daily during the last two years, and here, in the depths of the country, he had expected to be without it. moreover, he was conscious that he had not brought the cause with him. he had found it, waiting.
there were many things—indeed there was almost everything—to make his life happy and pleasant at st. mary western. but in his mind, as he woke up on this first morning, none of these things found place. he came to his senses thinking of the one little item which could be described as untoward—thinking of hilda, and hilda engaged to be married to fred farrar. it was not that he was in love with hilda carew himself. he had scarcely remembered her existence during the last two years. but this engagement jarred, and farrar jarred. it was something more than the very natural shock which comes with the news that a companion of our youth is about to be married—shock which seems to shake the memory of that youth; to confuse the background of our life. it is by means of such shocks as these that fate endeavours vainly to make us realise that the past is irrevocable—that we are passing on, and that that which has been can never be again. and at the same time we learn something else: namely, that the past is not by any means unchangeable. so potential is to-day that it not only holds to-morrow in the hollow of its hand, but it can alter yesterday.
christian vellacott lay upon his bed in unwonted idleness, gazing vaguely at the flying clouds. the window was open, and the song of the distant sea rose and fell with a rhythm full of peace. but in this man's mind there was no peace. in all probability there never would be complete peace there, because ambition had set its hold upon him. he wanted to do more than there was time for. like many of us, he began by thinking that life is longer than it is. its whole length is in those “long, long thoughts” of youth. when those are left behind, we settle down to work, and the rest of the story is nothing but labour. vellacott resented this engagement because he felt that hilda carew had stepped out of that picture which formed what was probably destined to be the happiest time of his life—his youth. for the unhappiness of youth is preferable to the resignation of age. he felt that she had willingly resigned something which he would on no account have given up. above all, he felt that it was a mistake. this was, of course, at the bottom of it. he probably felt that it was a pity. we usually feel so on hearing that a pretty and charming girl is engaged to be married. we think that she might have done so much better for herself, and we grow pensive or possibly sentimental over her lost opportunity when contemplating him in the mirror as he shaves. like all so-called happy events, an engagement is not usually a matter of universal rejoicing. some one is, in all probability, left to think twice about it. but christian vellacott was not prepared to admit that he was in that position.
he was naturally of an observant habit—his father had been one of the keenest-sighted men of his day—and he had graduated at the subtlest school in the world. he unwittingly fell to studying his fellow-men whenever the opportunity presented itself, and the result of this habit was a certain classification of detail. he picked up little scraps of evidence here and there, and these were methodically pigeon-holed away, as a lawyer stores up the correspondence of his clients.
with regard to frederick farrar, vellacott had only made one note. the squire of st. mary eastern was apparently very similar to his fellows. he was an ordinary young british squire with a knowledge of horses and a highly-developed fancy for smart riding-breeches and long boots. he had probably received a fair education, but this had ceased when he closed his last school-book. the seeds of knowledge had been sown, but they lacked moisture and had failed to grow. he was good-natured, plucky in a hard-headed british way, and gentlemanly. in all this there was nothing exceptional—nothing to take note of—and vellacott only remembered the limpness of frederick farrar's grasp. he thought of this too persistently and magnified it. and this being the only mental note made, was rather hard on the young squire of st. mary eastern.
vellacott thought of these things while he dressed, he thought of them intermittently during the unsettled, noisy, country breakfast, and when he found himself walking beside the moat with hilda later on he was still thinking of them.
they had not yet gathered into their hands the threads which had been broken years before. at times they hit upon a topic of some slight common interest, but something hovered in the air between them. hilda was gay, as she had always been, in a gentle, almost purring way; but a certain constrained silence made itself felt at times, and they were both intensely conscious of it.
vellacott was fully aware that there was something to be got over, and so instead of skipping round it, as a woman might have done, he went blundering on to the top of it.
“hilda,” he said suddenly, “i have never congratulated you.”
she bent her head in a grave little bow which was not quite english; but she said nothing.
“i can only wish you all happiness,” he continued rather vaguely.
again she made that mystic little motion of the head, but did not look towards him, and never offered the assistance of smile or word.
“a long life, a happy one, and your own will,” he added more lightly, looking down into the green water of the moat.
“thank you,” she said, standing quite still beside him.
and then there followed an awkward pause. it was vellacott who finally broke the silence in the only way left to him.
“i like farrar,” he said. “i am sure he will make you happy. he—is a lucky fellow.”
at the end of the walk that ran the whole length of that part of the moat which had been allowed to remain intact, she made a little movement as if to turn aside beneath the hazel trees and towards the house. but he would not let her go. he turned deliberately upon his heel and waited for her. there was nothing else to do but acquiesce. they retraced their steps with that slow reflectiveness which comes when one walks backwards and forwards over the same ground.
there is something eminently conversational in the practice of walking to and fro. for that purpose it is better than an arm-chair and a pipe, or a piece of knitting.
occasionally vellacott dropped a pace behind, apparently with a purpose; for when he did so he raised his eyes instantly. he seemed to be slowly detailing the maiden, and he frowned a little. she was exactly what she had promised to be. the singularly golden hair which he had last seen flowing freely over her slight young shoulders had acquired a decorousness of curve, although the hue was unchanged. the shoulders were exactly the same in contour, on a slightly larger scale; and the manner of carrying her head—a manner peculiarly her own, and suggestive of a certain gentle wilfulness—was unaltered.
and yet there was a change: that subtle change which seems to come to girls suddenly, in the space of a week—of one night. and this man was watching her with his analytical eyes, wondering what the change might be.
he was more or less a bookworm, and he possibly thought that this subject—this pleasant young subject walking beside him in a blue cotton dress—was one which might easily be grasped and understood if only one gave one's mind to it. hence the little frown. it denoted the gift of his mind. it was the frown that settled over his eyes when he cut the pages of a deep book and glanced at the point of his pencil.
he had read many books, and he knew a number of things. but there is one subject of which very little can be learnt in books—precisely the subject that walked in a blue cotton dress by christian vellacott's side at the edge of the moat. if any one thinks that book-learning can aid this study, let him read the ignorance of gibbon, comparing it with the learning of that cheery old ignoramus montaigne. and vellacott was nearer to gibbon in his learning than to montaigne in his careless ignorance of those things that are written in books.
he glanced at her; he frowned and brought his whole attention to bear upon her, and he could not even find out whether she was pleased to listen to his congratulations, or angry, or merely indifferent. it was rather a humiliating position for a clever man—for a critic who knew himself to be capable of understanding most things, of catching the drift of most thoughts, however imperfectly expressed. he was vaguely conscious of defeat. he felt that he was nonplussed by a pair of soft round eyes like the eyes of a kitten, and the dignified repose of a pair of demure red lips. both eyes and lips, as well as shoulders and golden hair, were strangely familiar and strangely strange by turns.
with one finger he twisted the left side of his moustache into his mouth, and, dragging at it with his teeth, distorted his face in an unbecoming if reflective manner, which was habitually indicative of the deepest attention.
while reflecting, he forgot to be conversational, and hilda seemed to be content with silence. so they walked the length of the moat twice without speaking, and might have accomplished it a third time, had little stanley carew not appeared upon the scene with the impulsive energy of his thirteen years, begging christian to bowl him some really swift overhands.
