mrs. streightley met gordon frere frequently during the remainder of the month of june. she met him at balls and dinner-parties, at fêtes and promenades, and riding in the park. she was distantly civil on these occasions; and he carefully, but reluctantly, modelled his demeanour on hers. "she is so awfully stiff and standoffish," he would say to himself, when katharine had bowed to him coldly or spoken in a tone of icy indifference; "it seems almost as if she couldn't forgive herself. i'm sure i forgive her; more than that,--by jove! i'm very much obliged to her. we should both have been up a tree by this time if we had been married, treasury appointment notwithstanding. what a beauty she is, though! and streightley's not half a bad fellow either, though we used to make such fun of him. 'the city man' she called him, like a deceitful minx as she was, and she going to marry him all the time! however, i must not think of that, or i shall be getting angry again." and from this soliloquy, and from others like it, in which he indulged, it would appear that mr. gordon frere's sentiments were not of the deep and lasting order, and that his friend yeldham had formed a tolerably correct estimate of his character. he was of that constitution, and at that time of life, when a few months seem like an eternity; and he had come back to london fancy-free, and if a little wiser, a little more capable of acting from interested motives, not materially corrupted. he would not, probably, allow himself to fall in love with any woman for the future whom it would be imprudent to marry; but neither would he marry any woman, no matter how rich, whom he could not love.
katharine's demeanour towards gordon frere was an unspeakable relief to robert streightley, whose first impulsive feeling on seeing frere was dread of an explanation, which might lead to a discovery. his brief vision of happiness was dispelled by the sight of the young man's face, and he shrunk with a painful reluctance from the interchange of the ordinary civilities of society with one whom he had so deeply injured. in vain did he try to find relief in the remembrance of all that katharine had gained by her marriage with him; in vain did he watch the happy insouciance, the heart-whole gaiety of frere, and argue from them the lightness and instability of the sentiment with which he had regarded katharine. his conscience was awake, and not any sophistry could lull it to sleep again.
mr. guyon had been among the earliest of gordon frere's former acquaintances to hear of his abandonment of diplomatic life, and his return to london. he was aware of these circumstances before he received one of cousin hetty's confidential little notes, in which she mentioned, in a tone of alarm and judicious warning, having seen mr. frere at mrs. pendarvis's ball. mr. guyon had met his young friend a day before that festivity; had joked with him pleasantly about his "butterfly" qualities; had congratulated him upon his return to the centre of civilisation; and had asked him whether he had met the streightleys,--all with a pleasant impudence which gordon frere was fairly forced to admire, and found it impossible to resent. mr. guyon was not for a moment visited by the misgivings which had disturbed his more sensitive son-in-law; but he divined that robert, for whom he entertained, in certain respects, a good-natured contempt, would be uncomfortable about frere's return; and he resolved to console him, at the risk of offending his pride by the momentary revival of a subject never mentioned between them. accordingly he dropped in to breakfast at portland place two days after the ball and the meeting, and found, as he expected, his son-in-law alone.
"katharine not down? nothing wrong, i hope?" asked the affectionate parent.
"o no; she is a little tired after the opera and a couple of parties, and she is going to richmond to-day; so she is resting this morning."
"indeed! very sensible of her. she stayed late at mrs. pendarvis's, didn't she?"
"yes," replied robert, shortly and uneasily.
mr. guyon looked at him, and their eyes met.
"so frere was there?" said the indomitable mr. guyon, as airily and pleasantly as if he were mentioning the most agreeable trifle. "rather awkward, on the whole; and yet, i don't know--all for the best perhaps. he will probably marry well, and the sooner the better for him and for us."
"for us?" asked robert timidly. and there was a shade of pain, and something like shame on his face, which would have hurt a sensitive observer, but which merely annoyed mr. guyon, who found it difficult to repress a sneer, as he replied:
"and us, of course--that is, if we need care about the matter one way or the other, which i don't see that we need."
"but if katharine should have any conversation, any confidence with him?" faltered robert.
"there is not the faintest possibility of any such danger," said mr. guyon, with equal composure and decision. "i understand katharine much better than you do, robert, and i know that our invulnerable safety"--the younger man flushed and winced a little at the words--"consists in her indomitable pride. the one individual of all her acquaintance who will never exchange a confidential sentence with katharine is mr. gordon frere." and then mr. guyon promptly dropped the subject, and talked of money, racing, betting, and other serious pursuits of life; and after a short time took his leave of robert, leaving him reassured, but with a fresh and bitter sense of humiliation.
the time which had wrought so rapid a change in gordon frere, which had taught him to regard with forgiveness, which almost bordered on approbation, the fickleness and treachery of the woman against whom he had delivered the valedictory philippic,--which charles yeldham remembered with wonder and bewilderment,--had worked considerable alteration in katharine's mood as well. her fine nature had been hardened, her generous temper had been warped; a crust of worldliness and selfishness had formed over the hot heart, and the trustful impulses of youth were dead within her; but the maddening anger, the intolerable mortification, had subsided. a momentary thrill of these former emotions, mingled with the yearning of the heart towards the object of a passion, or even a fancy, had passed over her, when, in the crush and whirl of the ball-room, she had recognised frere. but her strength of will and self-command had effectually put it down before the moment came when she found herself obliged to speak to him.
something like the tumult of the past renewed itself in her mind when she found herself alone that night, and at liberty to think of the occurrences of that evening; but it did not last. mr. guyon was right. any calculation founded on katharine's pride could not fail; and that pride helped her in the very first hour of the resuscitation of the past. believing as she did that there never had been any sincerity in the sentiment which gordon frere had affected towards her, she did not recognise change in the gay and unembarrassed manner which she had immediately observed; she imputed it to the discarding of the mask, the abandonment of the comedy; and so thinking, she wondered that she felt so little anger, so little disdain, so little emotion of any kind, all things considered. she recalled to memory every circumstance of that terrible day which had undeceived her; she recollected it, hour by hour, in its anguish of suspense, in its paroxysms of grief and anger; she remembered the faint deadly sickness which had come over her, and the dreadful despairing hours of the night. but she only remembered these things; she did not feel them again; and katharine knew that with the last throbs of anger had passed away the last lingerings of her love for gordon frere. it had been real, very true, and fervent; and no doubt, had he returned it, as he had taught her to believe he did, it would have lasted through all the chances and changes of this mortal life; but it was dead and gone now, and the sight of him taught her that it was so. before katharine's eyes closed that night, after her long vigil of remembrances and reflections, she knew that she should, in all the future, meet gordon frere without any painful emotion, beyond a little irrepressible contempt.
she was soon put to the test; for the acquaintance between frere and lady henmarsh progressed rapidly; and katharine was not spared the sight or the mention of him. lady henmarsh would not have put herself out of her way to annoy katharine, but she was not unwilling to do so when it happened to come in her way; and she took an early opportunity of confiding to her her impression that hester gould was decidedly smitten with the good-looking young fellow, who really had no harm in him, and whose only fault was want of money.
"he is really charming, kate," lady henmarsh observed, with an air of candidly admitting a former error in judgment. "i was quite too hard on him in old times--an age ago--and i am ready to admit it. of course that would never have done; but every thing is all right now, and i am sure you are the happiest girl in the world; and as for that dear mr. streightley, he is a perfect prince."
katharine had to bear this sort of thing, and she bore it well, wondering sometimes that it did not pain her more keenly. she gave little heed to lady henmarsh's hints about hester gould, which she imputed to a general impulse of spite; and simply contented herself with smiling rather bitterly as she thought how accurately they would once have hit their mark. when she met gordon frere now, there was no glamour between her eyes and him. he was not invested with the golden halo of a girl's fancy. the time which had gone over katharine's head, though brief in duration, had been long in meaning, and she was no longer the slave of her imagination. she saw him as he really was--a pleasant, kindly, genial, well-bred, well-looking, shallow young man, with brains enough and heart enough for the exigencies of society, and admirably fitted to be rich and idle, with distinction and popularity. she knew now that he was not a man who would ever accomplish any great or noble purpose in life; not a man on whom a woman's heart could stay itself in trouble. somehow she felt that she had outgrown and outlived gordon frere.
while one woman, to whom he had been the incarnation of the fondest and fairest visions of youth, was thus thinking of mr. frere, he had assumed a position of immense importance in the estimation of another--a woman widely different from katharine in every thing. when hester gould met him at mrs. pendarvis's ball, she had been attracted towards him chiefly by curiosity. she remembered him well as the fair-haired young man whom she had seen at the memorable promenade, and whom she had immediately discerned to be katharine guyon's lover. she strongly suspected that he and the girl had both been victims of some foul play, the full details of which her subsequent acquaintance with the affairs of mr. guyon and his son-in-law had not enabled her to ascertain; but that he, at least, had suffered at mr. guyon's unscrupulous hands she did not doubt. gordon had heard that the "old cat," as he had irreverently called lady henmarsh on a former occasion, was "taking a new heiress about with her;" for such was the simple phrase in which the ingenuous youth of his set described hester's relations with her friend; and when, on his paying his respects to lady henmarsh at mrs. pendarvis's ball, she had presented him to miss gould, he concluded, as he led his partner to the dancing-room, that she was the "new heiress" in question. thus he too felt some curiosity about the girl, whose tranquil easy manner, keen dark eyes, elegant and tasteful dress, and conversation utterly free from the missishness and the vapidity common to young ladies just "out," made her an interesting person, apart from the very large fortune which she undoubtedly possessed, and which was multiplied by rumour with its accustomed liberality. gordon would have been considerably astonished, had he known that miss gould saw the glance in which his eyes and katharine's met, and perfectly understood and appreciated the position; had he known that she marked the short dialogue which passed between them on the staircase, and noted the coldness and distance of its tone with distinct satisfaction. he and she talked with more animation, and of subjects of more worth and interest, than those usually discussed at a ball; for even a shallow man like gordon frere was forced to think a little when he found himself talking to a woman like hester gould; and they got on together very well indeed; but the unconscious accord of their thoughts was greater and closer still.
curiosity, interest, and the spontaneous admiration which he was certain to excite in every woman whom he addressed, had been the first feelings with which hester gould had regarded gordon frere on that evening. before she entered the carriage to which he escorted her and lady henmarsh, her admiration had increased, her interest had deepened. the calm, well-governed heart, which held itself aloof from passion, and had never loved any living being entirely without calculation and caution, had been surprised, like the weakest, like the least-guarded. hester gould had fallen in love--ay, like the veriest sentimental school-girl--at first sight, with gordon frere.
she did not deny the fact to herself; she did not deceive herself. it was characteristic of her to be perfectly conscious that she was weak, but not to disguise from herself the weakness. hester gould had never been visited by even the most transient feeling to which she could assign the name of love before; and now, when it came, she knew it, she recognised it, she acknowledged it--not with misgiving, not with despair, not with self-contempt. when she was alone that night, or rather in the early summer morning, her ball-dress laid aside, her maid dismissed, she threw open the window of her dressing-room, and sat down where the cool morning air came in and fanned her dark but radiant face. the time wore on, and the sun came out strongly, and the stir of life began, but still hester sat, gazing out towards the stately leafy trees in kensington gardens, and thinking. for the first time in her life she suffered the tide of strong emotion to sweep over her unchecked; for the first time in her life she felt its fulness. secretly but desperately she had rebelled against poverty and obscurity; secretly, thirstingly, she had longed for wealth. poverty and obscurity were things of the past; wealth had come to her, and she had taken it calmly. no human being could ever have guessed at the exultation with which hester gould had entered upon the possession of her fortune; no human being could ever have divined the intense secret pleasure which every day's enjoyment of it gave her. but what was it all to this? what was it all to the strange new delight, the sweet subtle hope that stole upon her now? not until she had thought long, deeply, delightfully, over every little incident of the evening, did hester's mind revert to katharine streightley; and then, so potent was the influence of the spell under which the calm self-possessed woman had fallen, that there was only an acknowledgment of the strangeness of the coincidence; there was not a single thrill of vindictive exultation in the remembrance that they, the rivals, had changed places; that the man whom hester told herself she loved, told herself she hoped to win, was the man whom katharine had loved and lost. all such thoughts seemed infinitely beneath her now, quite lost in the immensity of this new interest in her life; and they could never more have any power over her. but though passion had suddenly invaded the well-guarded territory of hester gould's heart, romance had no place in her nature; and she did not for a moment forget or undervalue the advantages of her wealth. "if he only comes to love me," she said, "there will be no obstacle. i am rich enough to make it a wise thing for him to marry me." and with this, the last waking thought in her mind, hester gould slept, with a smile upon her face which had never before irradiated it.
it was not until they had met several times that gordon frere began to think seriously about hester gould. he had been asked to two dinner-parties at lady henmarsh's, and had been especially distinguished by the gracious attentions of the hostess. on neither occasion had he met katharine; but on both mr. guyon had been present, and they had got on capitally. the convenient memory and the savoir vivre of cousin ned were displayed to perfection in circumstances of the kind, and gordon frere felt quite at his ease. they talked of the streightleys. mr. guyon described middlemeads; hoped that his young friend would have an opportunity of judging of its beauties for himself; jocularly counselled his young friend to marry, provided he could do it well, as soon as possible. "never too soon, my dear fellow,--never too soon. i was a mere boy myself," said mr. guyon, with a comic sort of confidential sentiment; and discovered that he was keeping his young friend away from the ladies.
when mr. gordon frere had been seen a few times riding with miss gould in the row, and had been observed dancing with her an abnormal number of dances, his friends began to make remarks of the kind elegantly called "chaff" on the occurrences. it is not to be supposed, because they have not appeared in these pages, that there were not many aspirants to the hand and fortune of the shipowner's heiress. their name, indeed, was legion; but they had all fared equally ill, and not one of the number had any reason to feel himself personally aggrieved by the evident progress of frere in miss gould's good graces. so the chorus was rather congratulatory, the aspirants were good-natured in the main; and though each would have been delighted to secure miss gould's fortune for himself, they all agreed that frere was a good fellow, though an idle dog, who would never make any hand of himself, and it would be a doosid good thing for him. as for hester, though she made no unfeminine or unladylike advances, she was far too sensible to risk her happiness on punctilio. "i am not the first woman he will have loved, if he ever comes to love me," she thought; "but he is the only man i ever have loved, i ever can love, and that makes all the difference." so she treated him from the first with undisguised though unostentatious preference; and, fully acknowledging to herself that her heart's desire and prayer was to become his wife, never endangered her chance by the slightest coquetry or insincerity.
the light and facile nature of gordon frere was exactly calculated to insure the success of such a policy, which, however, was rather the instinct of hester gould's good sense. he liked her, he thought her handsome and clever. "not a star of beauty, not a queen of grace and loveliness, like her, you know," said mr. frere to a friend of his with whom, in times which seemed very long past now, he had been wont to take counsel, and who listened to him with a gravely-amused expression of countenance and much internal satisfaction--"nothing of that kind, but a real nice girl. as sensible as a judge, sir!--a long way more so than some of them, i believe--and really fond of me. don't think me a coxcomb, charley, or an ass, as i was before. this is quite another case; and, by jove, i am as sure as that i am sitting here in this everlasting old glory-hole, where i don't believe the very dust ever changes or blows away, that if i asked miss gould to-morrow to marry me, she would say yes."
"very good, gordon," returned his friend. "then, if you want her to marry you, and you are positively sure you would marry her if she hadn't sixpence--which is the extreme proposition you have stated here three times over, and which is one of those things of which no man can be more than comparatively sure--ask her to-morrow, or on the first opportunity, and come and tell me the result. and now i must turn you out. i have an appointment with claypole in five minutes, and some papers to look over before he comes."
mr. frere went gaily away, and charles yeldham did not turn immediately to the papers which lay upon his desk. he walked up and down the room, his hands deep in his pockets, and his head bent. at length he sat down with an impatient sigh and a muttered sentence:
"to think that fourteen months ago he considered himself madly in love with katharine guyon! what a blessing it must be to a man to be endowed with the nature of a butterfly!"
gordon frere's modest statement of his hopes and expectations was justified by the result; and the flagging spirits of society at the end of the season were raised by learning that a marriage was "arranged" between miss gould, who was of course beautiful and accomplished for the occasion, and mr. gordon-frere, whose ancestral glories and diplomatic connections were also duly paraded.
katharine had left town some little time before this announcement had supplied a fresh topic for discussion to the few scores of people who knew or felt any curiosity about the respective parties. her premature abandonment of the delights of london arose from the condition of her husband's health. robert had been constantly looking, and occasionally complaining of feeling, ill, for several weeks; and at length had acknowledged to his sister that he exceedingly desired the rest and tranquillity of the country.
"i don't think he is so much ill as worried," ellen had said to her sister-in-law. and the simple girl was right. robert was worried--worried about money-matters, worried about mr. guyon's affairs, and his insatiable, irrepressible scheming. but, worse than all, he was worried by self-reproach.
it was no sacrifice to katharine to leave town; but if it had been one, she would not have hesitated to make it. it was therefore at middlemeads, in the tranquil enjoyment of her beautiful home, invested with all the first golden glory of the autumn, that katharine learned the news, the great news, which lent eloquence to ellen streightley's pen, and caused her to "gush" on paper as she was wont to do in speech. it was not, however, to her ingenuous sister-in-law that katharine owed her knowledge of the brilliancy of the marriage, the number and importance of the guests, the details of the bride's dress, the high spirits of the bridegroom, the itinéraire of the bridal tour, and the winter plans of mr. and mrs. gordon frere. when the event had taken place, and lady henmarsh's occupation as a chaperone was for the second time gone; when she had inspected and sufficiently admired the costly set of rubies which she had received as a parting gift from the heiress, and had declared that she detested weddings, and was tired to death, she could think of no more agreeable way of passing an idle evening than in writing to mrs. streightley. her letter was very smart, clever, and skilful, as all her letters were; and if it did not wound katharine's feelings so much as the writer intended, its failure was to be imputed to a change in her mind and feelings, of which lady henmarsh was entirely ignorant.
the engagement had not been a long one; neither party had had any motive for delay; but it was by quite an accidental coincidence that gordon frere and hester gould were married on the anniversary of katharine guyon's wedding-day.
