she caught the shawl as she spoke, and looked about for the owner:
in another moment the white queen came running wildly through thewood, with both arms stretched out wide, as if she were flying, and alicevery civilly went to meet her with the shawl.
`i'm very glad i happened to be in the way,' alice said, as she helpedher to put on her shawl again.
the white queen only looked at her in a helpless frightened sort ofway, and kept repeating something in a whisper to herself that soundedlike `bread-and-butter, bread-and-butter,' and alice felt that if there was tobe any conversation at all, she must manage it herself. so she beganrather timidly: `am i addressing the white queen?'
`well, yes, if you call that a-dressing,' the queen said. `it isn'tmy notion of the thing, at all.'
alice thought it would never do to have an argument at the verybeginning of their conversation, so she smiled and said, `if your majestywill only tell me the right way to begin, i'll do it as well as i can.'
`but i don't want it done at all!' groaned the poor queen. `i've beena-dressing myself for the last two hours.'
it would have been all the better, as it seemed to alice, if she hadgot some one else to dress her, she was so dreadfully untidy. `everysingle thing's crooked,' alice thought to herself, `and she's all over pins!-may i put your shawl straight for you?' she added aloud.
`i don't know what's the matter with it!' the queen said, in amelancholy voice. `it's out of temper, i think. i've pinned it here, andi've pinned it there, but there's no pleasing it!'
`it can't go straight, you know, if you pin it all on one side,' alicesaid, as she gently put it right for her; `and, dear me, what a state your hairis in!'
`the brush has got entangled in it!' the queen said with a sigh.
`and i lost the comb yesterday.'
alice carefully released the brush, and did her best to get the hair into order. `come, you look rather better now!' she said, after alteringmost of the pins. `but really you should have a lady's maid!'
`i'm sure i'll take you with pleasure!' the queen said. `twopence aweek, and jam every other day.'
alice couldn't help laughing, as she said, `i don't want you to hireme--and i don't care for jam.'
`it's very good jam,' said the queen.
`well, i don't want any to-day, at any rate.'
`you couldn't have it if you did want it,' the queen said. `the ruleis, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday--but never jam to-day.'
`it must come sometimes to "jam to-day,"' alice objected.
`no, it can't,' said the queen. `it's jam every other day: to-dayisn't any other day, you know.'
`i don't understand you,' said alice. `it's dreadfully confusing!'
`that's the effect of living backwards,' the queen said kindly: `italways makes one a little giddy at first--'
`living backwards!' alice repeated in great astonishment. `i neverheard of such a thing!'
`--but there's one great advantage in it, that one's memory worksboth ways.'
`i'm sure mine only works one way.' alice remarked. `i can'tremember things before they happen.'
`it's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,' the queenremarked.
`what sort of things do you remember best?' alice ventured to ask.
`oh, things that happened the week after next,' the queen replied ina careless tone. `for instance, now,' she went on, sticking a large piece ofplaster [band-aid] on her finger as she spoke, `there's the king'smessenger. he's in prison now, being punished: and the trial doesn'teven begin till next wednesday: and of course the crime comes last of all.'
`suppose he never commits the crime?' said alice.
`that would be all the better, wouldn't it?' the queen said, as shebound the plaster round her finger with a bit of ribbon.
alice felt there was no denying that. `of course it would be all the better,' she said: `but it wouldn't be all the better his being punished.'
`you're wrong there, at any rate,' said the queen: `were youever punished?'
`only for faults,' said alice.
`and you were all the better for it, i know!' the queen saidtriumphantly.
`yes, but then i had done the things i was punished for,' said alice:
`that makes all the difference.'
`but if you hadn't done them,' the queen said, `that would havebeen better still; better, and better, and better!' her voice went higherwith each `better,' till it got quite to a squeak at last.
alice was just beginning to say `there's a mistake somewhere--,'
when the queen began screaming so loud that she had to leave thesentence unfinished. `oh, oh, oh!' shouted the queen, shaking her handabout as if she wanted to shake it off. `my finger's bleeding! oh, oh, oh,oh!'
her screams were so exactly like the whistle of a steam-engine, thatalice had to hold both her hands over her ears.
`what is the matter?' she said, as soon as there was a chance ofmaking herself heard. `have you pricked your finger?'
`i haven't pricked it yet,' the queen said, `but i soon shall-- oh, oh,oh!'
`when do you expect to do it?' alice asked, feeling very muchinclined to laugh.
`when i fasten my shawl again,' the poor queen groaned out: `thebrooch will come undone directly. oh, oh!' as she said the words thebrooch flew open, and the queen clutched wildly at it, and tried to clasp itagain.
`take care!' cried alice. `you're holding it all crooked!' and shecaught at the brooch; but it was too late: the pin had slipped, and thequeen had pricked her finger.
`that accounts for the bleeding, you see,' she said to alice with asmile. `now you understand the way things happen here.'
`but why don't you scream now?' alice asked, holding her hands ready to put over her ears again.
`why, i've done all the screaming already,' said the queen. `whatwould be the good of having it all over again?'
by this time it was getting light. `the crow must have flown away,i think,' said alice: `i'm so glad it's gone. i thought it was the nightcoming on.'
`i wish _i_ could manage to be glad!' the queen said. `only inever can remember the rule. you must be very happy, living in thiswood, and being glad whenever you like!'
`only it is so very lonely here!' alice said in a melancholy voice;and at the thought of her loneliness two large tears came rolling down hercheeks.
`oh, don't go on like that!' cried the poor queen, wringing her handsin despair. `consider what a great girl you are. consider what a longway you've come to-day. consider what o'clock it is. consider anything,only don't cry!'
alice could not help laughing at this, even in the midst of her tears.
`can you keep from crying by considering things?' she asked.
`that's the way it's done,' the queen said with great decision: `nobody cando two things at once, you know. let's consider your age to begin with-how old are you?'
`i'm seven and a half exactly.'
`you needn't say "exactually,"' the queen remarked: `i can believeit without that. now i'll give you something to believe. i'm just onehundred and one, five months and a day.'
`i can't believe that!' said alice.
`can't you?' the queen said in a pitying tone. `try again: draw along breath, and shut your eyes.'
alice laughed. `there's no use trying,' she said: `one can'tbelieve impossible things.'
`i daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the queen. `when iwas your age, i always did it for half-an-hour a day. why, sometimes i'vebelieved as many as six impossible things before breakfast. there goesthe shawl again!'
the brooch had come undone as she spoke, and a sudden gust ofwind blew the queen's shawl across a little brook. the queen spread outher arms again, and went flying after it, and this time she succeeded incatching it for herself. `i've got it!' she cried in a triumphant tone.
`now you shall see me pin it on again, all by myself!'
`then i hope your finger is better now?' alice said very politely, asshe crossed the little brook after the queen.
* * * * * * ** * * * * ** * * * * * *`oh, much better!' cried the queen, her voice rising to a squeak asshe went on. `much be-etter! be-etter! be-e-e-etter! be-e-ehh!' thelast word ended in a long bleat, so like a sheep that alice quite started.
she looked at the queen, who seemed to have suddenly wrappedherself up in wool. alice rubbed her eyes, and looked again. she couldn'tmake out what had happened at all. was she in a shop? and was thatreally--was it really a sheep that was sitting on the other side of thecounter? rub as she could, she could make nothing more of it: she wasin a little dark shop, leaning with her elbows on the counter, and oppositeto her was an old sheep, sitting in an arm-chair knitting, and every nowand then leaving off to look at her through a great pair of spectacles.
`what is it you want to buy?' the sheep said at last, looking up for amoment from her knitting.
`i don't quite know yet,' alice said, very gently. `i should like tolook all round me first, if i might.'
`you may look in front of you, and on both sides, if you like,' saidthe sheep: `but you can't look all round you--unless you've got eyes atthe back of your head.'
but these, as it happened, alice had not got: so she contentedherself with turning round, looking at the shelves as she came to them.
the shop seemed to be full of all manner of curious things-- but theoddest part of it all was, that whenever she looked hard at any shelf, tomake out exactly what it had on it, that particular shelf was always quiteempty: though the others round it were crowded as full as they could hold.
`things flow about so here!' she said at last in a plaintive tone, aftershe had spent a minute or so in vainly pursuing a large bright thing, thatlooked sometimes like a doll and sometimes like a work-box, and wasalways in the shelf next above the one she was looking at. `and this oneis the most provoking of all--but i'll tell you what--' she added, as a suddenthought struck her, `i'll follow it up to the very top shelf of all. it'llpuzzle it to go through the ceiling, i expect!'
but even this plan failed: the `thing' went through the ceiling asquietly as possible, as if it were quite used to it.
`are you a child or a teetotum?' the sheep said, as she took upanother pair of needles. `you'll make me giddy soon, if you go onturning round like that.' she was now working with fourteen pairs atonce, and alice couldn't help looking at her in great astonishment.
`how can she knit with so many?' the puzzled child thought toherself. `she gets more and more like a porcupine every minute!'
`can you row?' the sheep asked, handing her a pair of knitting-needles as she spoke.
`yes, a little--but not on land--and not with needles--' alice wasbeginning to say, when suddenly the needles turned into oars in her hands,and she found they were in a little boat, gliding along between banks: sothere was nothing for it but to do her best.
`feather!' cried the sheep, as she took up another pair of needles.
this didn't sound like a remark that needed any answer, so alicesaid nothing, but pulled away. there was something very queer about thewater, she thought, as every now and then the oars got fast in it, and wouldhardly come out again.
`feather! feather!' the sheep cried again, taking more needles.
`you'll be catching a crab directly.'
`a dear little crab!' thought alice. `i should like that.'
`didn't you hear me say "feather"?' the sheep cried angrily, takingup quite a bunch of needles.
`indeed i did,' said alice: `you've said it very often--and very loud.
please, where are the crabs?'
`in the water, of course!' said the sheep, sticking some of theneedles into her hair, as her hands were full. `feather, i say!'
`why do you say "feather" so often?' alice asked at last, rathervexed. 'i'm not a bird!'
`you are,' said the sheet: `you're a little goose.'
this offended alice a little, so there was no more conversation for aminute or two, while the boat glided gently on, sometimes among beds ofweeds (which made the oars stick fast in the water, worse then ever), andsometimes under trees, but always with the same tall river-banks frowningover their heads.
`oh, please! there are some scented rushes!' alice cried in asudden transport of delight. `there really are--and such beauties!'
`you needn't say "please" to me about `em' the sheep said, withoutlooking up from her knitting: `i didn't put `em there, and i'm not going totake `em away.'
`no, but i meant--please, may we wait and pick some?' alicepleaded. `if you don't mind stopping the boat for a minute.'
`how am _i_ to stop it?' said the sheep. `if you leave off rowing,it'll stop of itself.'
so the boat was left to drift down the stream as it would, till itglided gently in among the waving rushes. and then the little sleeveswere carefully rolled up, and the little arms were plunged in elbow-deep toget the rushes a good long way down before breaking them off--and for awhile alice forgot all about the sheep and the knitting, as she bent overthe side of the boat, with just the ends of her tangled hair dipping into thewater--while with bright eager eyes she caught at one bunch after anotherof the darling scented rushes.
`i only hope the boat won't tipple over!' she said to herself. oh,what a lovely one! only i couldn't quite reach it.' `and it certainlydid seem a little provoking (`almost as if it happened on purpose,' shethought) that, though she managed to pick plenty of beautiful rushes as theboat glided by, there was always a more lovely one that she couldn't reach.
`the prettiest are always further!' she said at last, with a sigh at theobstinacy of the rushes in growing so far off, as, with flushed cheeks and dripping hair and hands, she scrambled back into her place, and began toarrange her new-found treasures.
what mattered it to her just than that the rushes had begun to fade,and to lose all their scent and beauty, from the very moment that shepicked them? even real scented rushes, you know, last only a very littlewhile--and these, being dream-rushes, melted away almost like snow, asthey lay in heaps at her feet-- but alice hardly noticed this, there were somany other curious things to think about.
they hadn't gone much farther before the blade of one of the oarsgot fast in the water and wouldn't come out again (so alice explainedit afterwards), and the consequence was that the handle of it caught herunder the chin, and, in spite of a series of little shrieks of `oh, oh, oh!'
from poor alice, it swept her straight off the seat, and down among theheap of rushes.
however, she wasn't hurt, and was soon up again: the sheep wenton with her knitting all the while, just as if nothing had happened. `thatwas a nice crab you caught!' she remarked, as alice got back into her place,very much relieved to find herself still in the boat.
`was it? i didn't see it,' said alice, peeping cautiously over theside of the boat into the dark water. `i wish it hadn't let go--i should solike to see a little crab to take home with me!' but the sheep onlylaughed scornfully, and went on with her knitting.
`are there many crabs here?' said alice.
`crabs, and all sorts of things,' said the sheep: `plenty of choice,only make up your mind. now, what do you want to buy?'
`to buy!' alice echoed in a tone that was half astonished and halffrightened--for the oars, and the boat, and the river, had vanished all in amoment, and she was back again in the little dark shop.
`i should like to buy an egg, please,' she said timidly. `how do yousell them?'
`fivepence farthing for one--twopence for two,' the sheep replied.
`then two are cheaper than one?' alice said in a surprised tone,taking out her purse.
`only you must eat them both, if you buy two,' said the sheep.
`then i'll have one, please,' said alice, as she put the money downon the counter. for she thought to herself, `they mightn't be at all nice,you know.'
the sheep took the money, and put it away in a box: then she said`i never put things into people's hands--that would never do--you must getit for yourself.' and so saying, she went off to the other end of the shop,and set the egg upright on a shelf.
`i wonder why it wouldn't do?' thought alice, as she groped herway among the tables and chairs, for the shop was very dark towards theend. `the egg seems to get further away the more i walk towards it.
let me see, is this a chair? why, it's got branches, i declare! how veryodd to find trees growing here! and actually here's a little brook! well,this is the very queerest shop i ever saw!'
* * * * * * ** * * * * ** * * * * * *so she went on, wondering more and more at every step, aseverything turned into a tree the moment she came up to it, and she quiteexpected the egg to do the same.
