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Chapter 48

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—— but oh!

what shall i say to thee, lord scroop; thou cruel,

ingrateful, savage, and inhuman creature!

thou that didst bear the key of all my counsels,

that knew’st the very bottom of my soul,

that almost mightst have coined me into gold,

wouldst thou have practised on me for thy use?

henry v.

at no period of his life, not even when that life was in imminent danger, did the constitutional gaiety of charles seem more overclouded, than when waiting for the return of chiffinch with the duke of buckingham. his mind revolted at the idea, that the person to whom he had been so particularly indulgent, and whom he had selected as the friend of his lighter hours and amusements, should prove capable of having tampered with a plot apparently directed against his liberty and life. he more than once examined the dwarf anew, but could extract nothing more than his first narrative contained. the apparition of the female to him in the cell of newgate, he described in such fanciful and romantic colours, that the king could not help thinking the poor man’s head a little turned; and, as nothing was found in the kettledrum, and other musical instruments brought for the use of the duke’s band of foreigners, he nourished some slight hope that the whole plan might be either a mere jest, or that the idea of an actual conspiracy was founded in mistake.

the persons who had been despatched to watch the motions of mr. weiver’s congregation, brought back word that they had quietly dispersed. it was known, at the same time, that they had met in arms, but this augured no particular design of aggression, at a time when all true protestants conceived themselves in danger of immediate massacre; when the fathers of the city had repeatedly called out the train-bands, and alarmed the citizens of london, under the idea of an instant insurrection of the catholics; and when, to sum the whole up, in the emphatic words of an alderman of the day, there was a general belief that they would all waken some unhappy morning with their throats cut. who was to do these dire deeds, it was more difficult to suppose; but all admitted the possibility that they might be achieved, since one justice of the peace was already murdered. there was, therefore, no inference of hostile intentions against the state, to be decidedly derived from a congregation of protestants par excellence, military from old associations, bringing their arms with them to a place of worship, in the midst of a panic so universal.

neither did the violent language of the minister, supposing that to be proved, absolutely infer meditated violence. the favourite parables of the preachers, and the metaphors and ornaments which they selected, were at all times of a military cast; and the taking the kingdom of heaven by storm, a strong and beautiful metaphor, when used generally as in scripture, was detailed in their sermons in all the technical language of the attack and defence of a fortified place. the danger, in short, whatever might have been its actual degree, had disappeared as suddenly as a bubble upon the water, when broken by a casual touch, and had left as little trace behind it. it became, therefore, matter of much doubt, whether it had ever actually existed.

while various reports were making from without, and while their tenor was discussed by the king, and such nobles and statesmen as he thought proper to consult on the occasion, a gradual sadness and anxiety mingled with, and finally silenced, the mirth of the evening. all became sensible that something unusual was going forward; and the unwonted distance which charles maintained from his guests, while it added greatly to the dulness that began to predominate in the presence-chamber, gave intimation that something unusual was labouring in the king’s mind.

thus play was neglected — the music was silent, or played without being heard — gallants ceased to make compliments, and ladies to expect them; and a sort of apprehensive curiosity pervaded the circle. each asked the others why they were grave; and no answer was returned, any more than could have been rendered by a herd of cattle instinctively disturbed by the approach of a thunderstorm.

to add to the general apprehension, it began to be whispered, that one or two of the guests, who were desirous of leaving the palace, had been informed no one could be permitted to retire until the general hour of dismissal. and these, gliding back into the hall, communicated in whispers that the sentinels at the gates were doubled, and that there was a troop of the horse guards drawn up in the court — circumstances so unusual, as to excite the most anxious curiosity.

such was the state of the court, when wheels were heard without, and the bustle which took place denoted the arrival of some person of consequence.

“here comes chiffinch,” said the king, “with his prey in his clutch.”

it was indeed the duke of buckingham; nor did he approach the royal presence without emotion. on entering the court, the flambeaux which were borne around the carriage gleamed on the scarlet coats, laced hats, and drawn broadswords of the horse guards — a sight unusual, and calculated to strike terror into a conscience which was none of the clearest.

the duke alighted from the carriage, and only said to the officer, whom he saw upon duty, “you are late under arms to-night, captain carleton.”

“such are our orders, sir,” answered carleton, with military brevity; and then commanded the four dismounted sentinels at the under gate to make way for the duke of buckingham. his grace had no sooner entered, than he heard behind him the command, “move close up, sentinels — closer yet to the gate.” and he felt as if all chance of rescue were excluded by the sound.

as he advanced up the grand staircase, there were other symptoms of alarm and precaution. the yeomen of the guard were mustered in unusual numbers, and carried carabines instead of their halberds; and the gentlemen-pensioners, with their partisans, appeared also in proportional force. in short, all that sort of defence which the royal household possesses within itself, seemed, for some hasty and urgent reason, to have been placed under arms, and upon duty.

buckingham ascended the royal staircase with an eye attentive to these preparations, and a step steady and slow, as if he counted each step on which he trode. “who,” he asked himself, “shall ensure christian’s fidelity? let him but stand fast, and we are secure. otherwise ——”

as he shaped the alternative, he entered the presence-chamber.

the king stood in the midst of the apartment, surrounded by the personages with whom he had been consulting. the rest of the brilliant assembly, scattered into groups, looked on at some distance. all were silent when buckingham entered, in hopes of receiving some explanation of the mysteries of the evening. all bent forward, though etiquette forbade them to advance, to catch, if possible, something of what was about to pass betwixt the king and his intriguing statesman. at the same time, those counsellors who stood around charles, drew back on either side, so as to permit the duke to pay his respects to his majesty in the usual form. he went through the ceremonial with his accustomed grace, but was received by charles with much unwonted gravity.

“we have waited for you some time, my lord duke. it is long since chiffinch left us, to request your attendance here. i see you are elaborately dressed. your toilette was needless on the present occasion.”

“needless to the splendour of your majesty’s court,” said the duke, “but not needless on my part. this chanced to be black monday at york place, and my club of pendables were in full glee when your majesty’s summons arrived. i could not be in the company of ogle, maniduc, dawson, and so forth, but what i must needs make some preparation, and some ablution, ere entering the circle here.”

“i trust the purification will be complete,” said the king, without any tendency to the smile which always softened features, that, ungilded by its influence, were dark, harsh, and even severe. “we wished to ask your grace concerning the import of a sort of musical mask which you designed us here, but which miscarried, as we are given to understand.”

“it must have been a great miscarriage indeed,” said the duke, “since your majesty looks so serious on it. i thought to have done your majesty pleasure (as i have seen you condescend to be pleased with such passages), by sending the contents of that bass-viol; but i fear the jest has been unacceptable — i fear the fireworks may have done mischief.”

“not the mischief they were designed for, perhaps,” said the king gravely; “you see, my lord, we are all alive, and unsinged.”

“long may your majesty remain so,” said the duke; “yet i see there is something misconstrued on my part — it must be a matter unpardonable, however little intended, since it hath displeased so indulgent a master.”

“too indulgent a master, indeed, buckingham,” replied the king; “and the fruit of my indulgence has been to change loyal men into traitors.”

“may it please your majesty, i cannot understand this,” said the duke.

“follow us, my lord,” answered charles, “and we will endeavour to explain our meaning.”

attended by the same lords who stood around him, and followed by the duke of buckingham, on whom all eyes were fixed, charles retired into the same cabinet which had been the scene of repeated consultations in the course of the evening. there, leaning with his arms crossed on the back of an easy-chair, charles proceeded to interrogate the suspected nobleman.

“let us be plain with each other. speak out, buckingham. what, in one word, was to have been the regale intended for us this evening?”

“a petty mask, my lord. i had destined a little dancing-girl to come out of that instrument, who, i thought, would have performed to your majesty’s liking — a few chinese fireworks there were, thinking the entertainment was to have taken place in the marble hall, might, i hoped, have been discharged with good effect, and without the slightest alarm, at the first appearance of my little sorceress, and were designed to have masked, as it were, her entrance upon the stage. i hope there have been no perukes singed — no ladies frightened — no hopes of noble descent interrupted by my ill-fancied jest.”

“we have seen no such fireworks, my lord; and your female dancer, of whom we now hear for the first time, came forth in the form of our old acquaintance geoffrey hudson, whose dancing days are surely ended.”

“your majesty surprises me! i beseech you, let christian be sent for — edward christian — he will be found lodging in a large old house near sharper the cutler’s, in the strand. as i live by bread, sire, i trusted him with the arrangement of this matter, as indeed the dancing-girl was his property. if he has done aught to dishonour my concert, or disparage my character, he shall die under the baton.”

“it is singular,” said the king, “and i have often observed it, that this fellow christian bears the blame of all men’s enormities — he performs the part which, in a great family, is usually assigned to that mischief-doing personage, nobody. when chiffinch blunders, he always quotes christian. when sheffield writes a lampoon, i am sure to hear of christian having corrected, or copied, or dispersed it — he is the ame damnée of every one about my court — the scapegoat, who is to carry away all their iniquities; and he will have a cruel load to bear into the wilderness. but for buckingham’s sins, in particular, he is the regular and uniform sponsor; and i am convinced his grace expects christian should suffer every penalty he has incurred, in this world or the next.”

“not so,” with the deepest reverence replied the duke. “i have no hope of being either hanged or damned by proxy; but it is clear some one hath tampered with and altered my device. if i am accused of aught, let me at least hear the charge, and see my accuser.”

“that is but fair,” said the king. “bring our little friend from behind the chimney-board. [hudson being accordingly produced, he continued.] there stands the duke of buckingham. repeat before him the tale you told us. let him hear what were those contents of the bass-viol which were removed that you might enter it. be not afraid of any one, but speak the truth boldly.”

“may it please your majesty,” said hudson, “fear is a thing unknown to me.”

“his body has no room to hold such a passion; or there is too little of it to be worth fearing for,” said buckingham. —“but let him speak.”

ere hudson had completed his tale, buckingham interrupted him by exclaiming, “is it possible that i can be suspected by your majesty on the word of this pitiful variety of the baboon tribe?”

“villain-lord, i appeal thee to the combat!” said the little man, highly offended at the appellation thus bestowed on him.

“la you there now!” said the duke —“the little animal is quite crazed, and defies a man who need ask no other weapon than a corking-pin to run him through the lungs, and whose single kick could hoist him from dover to calais without yacht or wherry. and what can you expect from an idiot, who is engoué of a common rope-dancing girl, that capered on a pack-thread at ghent in flanders, unless they were to club their talents to set up a booth at bartholomew fair? — is it not plain, that supposing the little animal is not malicious, as indeed his whole kind bear a general and most cankered malice against those who have the ordinary proportions of humanity — grant, i say, that this were not a malicious falsehood of his, why, what does it amount to? — that he has mistaken squibs and chinese crackers for arms! he says not he himself touched or handled them; and judging by the sight alone, i question if the infirm old creature, when any whim or preconception hath possession of his noddle, can distinguish betwixt a blunderbuss and a black-pudding.”

the horrible clamour which the dwarf made so soon as he heard this disparagement of his military skill — the haste with which he blundered out a detail of this warlike experiences — and the absurd grimaces which he made in order to enforce his story, provoked not only the risibility of charles, but even of the statesmen around him, and added absurdity to the motley complexion of the scene. the king terminated this dispute, by commanding the dwarf to withdraw.

a more regular discussion of his evidence was then resumed, and ormond was the first who pointed out, that it went farther than had been noticed, since the little man had mentioned a certain extraordinary and treasonable conversation held by the duke’s dependents, by whom he had been conveyed to the palace.

“i am sure not to lack my lord of ormond’s good word,” said the duke scornfully; “but i defy him alike, and all my other enemies, and shall find it easy to show that this alleged conspiracy, if any grounds for it at all exist, in a mere sham-plot, got up to turn the odium justly attached to the papists upon the protestants. here is a half-hanged creature, who, on the very day he escapes from the gallows, which many believe was his most deserved destiny, comes to take away the reputation of a protestant peer — and on what? — on the treasonable conversation of three or four german fiddlers, heard through the sound-holes of a violoncello, and that, too, when the creature was incased in it, and mounted on a man’s shoulders! the urchin, too, in repeating their language, shows he understands german as little as my horse does; and if he did rightly hear, truly comprehend, and accurately report what they said, still, is my honour to be touched by the language held by such persons as these are, with whom i have never communicated, otherwise than men of my rank do with those of their calling and capacity? — pardon me, sire, if i presume to say, that the profound statesmen who endeavoured to stifle the popish conspiracy by the pretended meal-tub plot, will take little more credit by their figments about fiddles and concertos.”

the assistant counsellors looked at each other; and charles turned on his heel, and walked through the room with long steps.

at this period the peverils, father and son, were announced to have reached the palace, and were ordered into the royal presence.

these gentlemen had received the royal mandate at a moment of great interest. after being dismissed from their confinement by the elder bridgenorth, in the manner and upon the terms which the reader must have gathered from the conversation of the latter with christian, they reached the lodgings of lady peveril, who awaited them with joy, mingled with terror and uncertainty. the news of the acquittal had reached her by the exertions of the faithful lance outram, but her mind had been since harassed by the long delay of their appearance, and rumours of disturbances which had taken place in fleet street and in the strand.

when the first rapturous meeting was over, lady peveril, with an anxious look towards her son, as if recommending caution, said she was now about to present to him the daughter of an old friend, whom he had never (there was an emphasis on the word) seen before. “this young lady,” she continued, “was the only child of colonel mitford, in north wales, who had sent her to remain under her guardianship for an interval, finding himself unequal to attempt the task of her education.”

“ay, ay,” said sir geoffrey, “dick mitford must be old now — beyond the threescore and ten, i think. he was no chicken, though a cock of the game, when he joined the marquis of hertford at namptwich with two hundred wild welshmen. — before george, julian, i love that girl as if she was my own flesh and blood! lady peveril would never have got through this work without her; and dick mitford sent me a thousand pieces, too, in excellent time, when there was scarce a cross to keep the devil from dancing in our pockets, much more for these law-doings. i used it without scruple, for there is wood ready to be cut at martindale when we get down there, and dick mitford knows i would have done the like for him. strange that he should have been the only one of my friends to reflect i might want a few pieces.”

whilst sir geoffrey thus run on, the meeting betwixt alice and julian peveril was accomplished, without any particular notice on his side, except to say, “kiss her, julian — kiss her. what the devil! is that the way you learned to accost a lady at the isle of man, as if her lips were a red-hot horseshoe? — and do not you be offended, my pretty one; julian is naturally bashful, and has been bred by an old lady, but you will find him, by-and-by, as gallant as thou hast found me, my princess. — and now, dame peveril, to dinner, to dinner! the old fox must have his belly-timber, though the hounds have been after him the whole day.”

lance, whose joyous congratulations were next to be undergone, had the consideration to cut them short, in order to provide a plain but hearty meal from the next cook’s shop, at which julian sat, like one enchanted, betwixt his mistress and his mother. he easily conceived that the last was the confidential friend to whom bridgenorth had finally committed the charge of his daughter, and his only anxiety now was, to anticipate the confusion that was likely to arise when her real parentage was made known to his father. wisely, however, he suffered not these anticipations to interfere with the delight of his present situation, in the course of which many slight but delightful tokens of recognition were exchanged, without censure, under the eye of lady peveril, under cover of the boisterous mirth of the old baronet, who spoke for two, ate for four, and drank wine for half-a-dozen. his progress in the latter exercise might have proceeded rather too far, had he not been interrupted by a gentleman bearing the king’s orders, that he should instantly attend upon the presence at whitehall, and bring his son along with him.

lady peveril was alarmed, and alice grew pale with sympathetic anxiety; but the old knight, who never saw more than what lay straight before him, set it down to the king’s hasty anxiety to congratulate him on his escape; an interest on his majesty’s part which he considered by no means extravagant, conscious that it was reciprocal on his own side. it came upon him, indeed, with the more joyful surprise that he had received a previous hint, ere he left the court of justice, that it would be prudent in him to go down to martindale before presenting himself at court — a restriction which he supposed as repugnant to his majesty’s feelings as it was to his own.

while he consulted with lance outram about cleaning his buff-belt and sword-hilt, as well as time admitted, lady peveril had the means to give julian more distinct information, that alice was under her protection by her father’s authority, and with his consent to their union, if it could be accomplished. she added that it was her determination to employ the mediation of the countess of derby, to overcome the obstacles which might be foreseen on the part of sir geoffrey.

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