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Chapter VI. Sorrows of Teufelsdrockh

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we have long felt that, with a man like our professor, matters must often be expected to take a course of their own; that in so multiplex, intricate a nature, there might be channels, both for admitting and emitting, such as the psychologist had seldom noted; in short, that on no grand occasion and convulsion, neither in the joy-storm nor in the woe-storm could you predict his demeanor.

to our less philosophical readers, for example, it is now clear that the so passionate teufelsdrockh precipitated through “a shivered universe” in this extraordinary way, has only one of three things which he can next do: establish himself in bedlam; begin writing satanic poetry; or blow out his brains. in the progress towards any of which consummations, do not such readers anticipate extravagance enough; breast-beating, brow-beating (against walls), lion-bellowings of blasphemy and the like, stampings, smitings, breakages of furniture, if not arson itself?

nowise so does teufelsdrockh deport him. he quietly lifts his pilgerstab (pilgrim-staff), “old business being soon wound up;” and begins a perambulation and circumambulation of the terraqueous globe! curious it is, indeed, how with such vivacity of conception, such intensity of feeling, above all, with these unconscionable habits of exaggeration in speech, he combines that wonderful stillness of his, that stoicism in external procedure. thus, if his sudden bereavement, in this matter of the flower-goddess, is talked of as a real doomsday and dissolution of nature, in which light doubtless it partly appeared to himself, his own nature is nowise dissolved thereby; but rather is compressed closer. for once, as we might say, a blumine by magic appliances has unlocked that shut heart of his, and its hidden things rush out tumultuous, boundless, like genii enfranchised from their glass vial: but no sooner are your magic appliances withdrawn, than the strange casket of a heart springs to again; and perhaps there is now no key extant that will open it; for a teufelsdrockh as we remarked, will not love a second time. singular diogenes! no sooner has that heart-rending occurrence fairly taken place, than he affects to regard it as a thing natural, of which there is nothing more to be said. “one highest hope, seemingly legible in the eyes of an angel, had recalled him as out of death-shadows into celestial life: but a gleam of tophet passed over the face of his angel; he was rapt away in whirlwinds, and heard the laughter of demons. it was a calenture,” adds he, “whereby the youth saw green paradise-groves in the waste ocean-waters: a lying vision, yet not wholly a lie, for he saw it.” but what things soever passed in him, when he ceased to see it; what ragings and despairings soever teufelsdrockh’s soul was the scene of, he has the goodness to conceal under a quite opaque cover of silence. we know it well; the first mad paroxysm past, our brave gneschen collected his dismembered philosophies, and buttoned himself together; he was meek, silent, or spoke of the weather and the journals: only by a transient knitting of those shaggy brows, by some deep flash of those eyes, glancing one knew not whether with tear-dew or with fierce fire, — might you have guessed what a gehenna was within: that a whole satanic school were spouting, though inaudibly, there. to consume your own choler, as some chimneys consume their own smoke; to keep a whole satanic school spouting, if it must spout, inaudibly, is a negative yet no slight virtue, nor one of the commonest in these times.

nevertheless, we will not take upon us to say, that in the strange measure he fell upon, there was not a touch of latent insanity; whereof indeed the actual condition of these documents in capricornus and aquarius is no bad emblem. his so unlimited wanderings, toilsome enough, are without assigned or perhaps assignable aim; internal unrest seems his sole guidance; he wanders, wanders, as if that curse of the prophet had fallen on him, and he were “made like unto a wheel.” doubtless, too, the chaotic nature of these paper-bags aggravates our obscurity. quite without note of preparation, for example, we come upon the following slip: “a peculiar feeling it is that will rise in the traveller, when turning some hill-range in his desert road, he descries lying far below, embosomed among its groves and green natural bulwarks, and all diminished to a toy-box, the fair town, where so many souls, as it were seen and yet unseen, are driving their multifarious traffic. its white steeple is then truly a starward-pointing finger; the canopy of blue smoke seems like a sort of lifebreath: for always, of its own unity, the soul gives unity to whatsoever it looks on with love; thus does the little dwelling-place of men, in itself a congeries of houses and huts, become for us an individual, almost a person. but what thousand other thoughts unite thereto, if the place has to ourselves been the arena of joyous or mournful experiences; if perhaps the cradle we were rocked in still stands there, if our loving ones still dwell there, if our buried ones there slumber!” does teufelsdrockh as the wounded eagle is said to make for its own eyrie, and indeed military deserters, and all hunted outcast creatures, turn as if by instinct in the direction of their birthland, — fly first, in this extremity, towards his native entepfuhl; but reflecting that there no help awaits him, take only one wistful look from the distance, and then wend elsewhither?

little happier seems to be his next flight: into the wilds of nature; as if in her mother-bosom he would seek healing. so at least we incline to interpret the following notice, separated from the former by some considerable space, wherein, however, is nothing noteworthy:—

“mountains were not new to him; but rarely are mountains seen in such combined majesty and grace as here. the rocks are of that sort called primitive by the mineralogists, which always arrange themselves in masses of a rugged, gigantic character; which ruggedness, however, is here tempered by a singular airiness of form, and softness of environment: in a climate favorable to vegetation, the gray cliff, itself covered with lichens, shoots up through a garment of foliage or verdure; and white, bright cottages, tree-shaded, cluster round the everlasting granite. in fine vicissitude, beauty alternates with grandeur: you ride through stony hollows, along strait passes, traversed by torrents, overhung by high walls of rock; now winding amid broken shaggy chasms, and huge fragments; now suddenly emerging into some emerald valley, where the streamlet collects itself into a lake, and man has again found a fair dwelling, and it seems as if peace had established herself in the bosom of strength.

“to peace, however, in this vortex of existence, can the son of time not pretend: still less if some spectre haunt him from the past; and the future is wholly a stygian darkness, spectre-bearing. reasonably might the wanderer exclaim to himself: are not the gates of this world’s happiness inexorably shut against thee; hast thou a hope that is not mad? nevertheless, one may still murmur audibly, or in the original greek if that suit thee better: ‘whoso can look on death will start at no shadows.’

“from such meditations is the wanderer’s attention called outwards; for now the valley closes in abruptly, intersected by a huge mountain mass, the stony water-worn ascent of which is not to be accomplished on horseback. arrived aloft, he finds himself again lifted into the evening sunset light; and cannot but pause, and gaze round him, some moments there. an upland irregular expanse of wold, where valleys in complex branchings are suddenly or slowly arranging their descent towards every quarter of the sky. the mountain-ranges are beneath your feet, and folded together: only the loftier summits look down here and there as on a second plain; lakes also lie clear and earnest in their solitude. no trace of man now visible; unless indeed it were he who fashioned that little visible link of highway, here, as would seem, scaling the inaccessible, to unite province with province. but sunwards, lo you! how it towers sheer up, a world of mountains, the diadem and centre of the mountain region! a hundred and a hundred savage peaks, in the last light of day; all glowing, of gold and amethyst, like giant spirits of the wilderness; there in their silence, in their solitude, even as on the night when noah’s deluge first dried! beautiful, nay solemn, was the sudden aspect to our wanderer. he gazed over those stupendous masses with wonder, almost with longing desire; never till this hour had he known nature, that she was one, that she was his mother and divine. and as the ruddy glow was fading into clearness in the sky, and the sun had now departed, a murmur of eternity and immensity, of death and of life, stole through his soul; and he felt as if death and life were one, as if the earth were not dead, as if the spirit of the earth had its throne in that splendor, and his own spirit were therewith holding communion.

“the spell was broken by a sound of carriage-wheels. emerging from the hidden northward, to sink soon into the hidden southward, came a gay barouche-and-four: it was open; servants and postilions wore wedding favors: that happy pair, then, had found each other, it was their marriage evening! few moments brought them near: du himmel! it was herr towgood and — blumine! with slight unrecognizing salutation they passed me; plunged down amid the neighboring thickets, onwards, to heaven, and to england; and i, in my friend richter’s words, i remained alone, behind them, with the night.”

were it not cruel in these circumstances, here might be the place to insert an observation, gleaned long ago from the great clothes–volume, where it stands with quite other intent: “some time before small-pox was extirpated,” says the professor, “there came a new malady of the spiritual sort on europe: i mean the epidemic, now endemical, of view-hunting. poets of old date, being privileged with senses, had also enjoyed external nature; but chiefly as we enjoy the crystal cup which holds good or bad liquor for us; that is to say, in silence, or with slight incidental commentary: never, as i compute, till after the sorrows of werter, was there man found who would say: come let us make a description! having drunk the liquor, come let us eat the glass! of which endemic the jenner is unhappily still to seek.” too true!

we reckon it more important to remark that the professor’s wanderings, so far as his stoical and cynical envelopment admits us to clear insight, here first take their permanent character, fatuous or not. that basilisk-glance of the barouche-and-four seems to have withered up what little remnant of a purpose may have still lurked in him: life has become wholly a dark labyrinth; wherein, through long years, our friend, flying from spectres, has to stumble about at random, and naturally with more haste than progress.

foolish were it in us to attempt following him, even from afar, in this extraordinary world-pilgrimage of his; the simplest record of which, were clear record possible, would fill volumes. hopeless is the obscurity, unspeakable the confusion. he glides from country to country, from condition to condition; vanishing and reappearing, no man can calculate how or where. through all quarters of the world he wanders, and apparently through all circles of society. if in any scene, perhaps difficult to fix geographically, he settles for a time, and forms connections, be sure he will snap them abruptly asunder. let him sink out of sight as private scholar (privatsirender), living by the grace of god in some european capital, you may next find him as hadjee in the neighborhood of mecca. it is an inexplicable phantasmagoria, capricious, quick-changing; as if our traveller, instead of limbs and highways, had transported himself by some wishing-carpet, or fortunatus’ hat. the whole, too, imparted emblematically, in dim multifarious tokens (as that collection of street–advertisements); with only some touch of direct historical notice sparingly interspersed: little light-islets in the world of haze! so that, from this point, the professor is more of an enigma than ever. in figurative language, we might say he becomes, not indeed a spirit, yet spiritualized, vaporized. fact unparalleled in biography: the river of his history, which we have traced from its tiniest fountains, and hoped to see flow onward, with increasing current, into the ocean, here dashes itself over that terrific lover’s leap; and, as a mad-foaming cataract, flies wholly into tumultuous clouds of spray! low down it indeed collects again into pools and plashes; yet only at a great distance, and with difficulty, if at all, into a general stream. to cast a glance into certain of those pools and plashes, and trace whither they run, must, for a chapter or two, form the limit of our endeavor.

for which end doubtless those direct historical notices, where they can be met with, are the best. nevertheless, of this sort too there occurs much, which, with our present light, it were questionable to emit. teufelsdrockh vibrating everywhere between the highest and the lowest levels, comes into contact with public history itself. for example, those conversations and relations with illustrious persons, as sultan mahmoud, the emperor napoleon, and others, are they not as yet rather of a diplomatic character than of a biographic? the editor, appreciating the sacredness of crowned heads, nay perhaps suspecting the possible trickeries of a clothes–philosopher, will eschew this province for the present; a new time may bring new insight and a different duty.

if we ask now, not indeed with what ulterior purpose, for there was none, yet with what immediate outlooks; at all events, in what mood of mind, the professor undertook and prosecuted this world-pilgrimage, — the answer is more distinct than favorable. “a nameless unrest,” says he, “urged me forward; to which the outward motion was some momentary lying solace. whither should i go? my loadstars were blotted out; in that canopy of grim fire shone no star. yet forward must i; the ground burnt under me; there was no rest for the sole of my foot. i was alone, alone! ever too the strong inward longing shaped phantasms for itself: towards these, one after the other, must i fruitlessly wander. a feeling i had, that for my fever-thirst there was and must be somewhere a healing fountain. to many fondly imagined fountains, the saints’ wells of these days, did i pilgrim; to great men, to great cities, to great events: but found there no healing. in strange countries, as in the well-known; in savage deserts, as in the press of corrupt civilization, it was ever the same: how could your wanderer escape from — his own shadow? nevertheless still forward! i felt as if in great haste; to do i saw not what. from the depths of my own heart, it called to me, forwards! the winds and the streams, and all nature sounded to me, forwards! ach gott, i was even, once for all, a son of time.”

from which is it not clear that the internal satanic school was still active enough? he says elsewhere: “the enchiridion of epictetus i had ever with me, often as my sole rational companion; and regret to mention that the nourishment it yielded was trifling.” thou foolish teufelsdrockh how could it else? hadst thou not greek enough to understand thus much: the end of man is an action, and not a thought, though it were the noblest?

“how i lived?” writes he once: “friend, hast thou considered the ‘rugged all-nourishing earth,’ as sophocles well names her; how she feeds the sparrow on the house-top, much more her darling, man? while thou stirrest and livest, thou hast a probability of victual. my breakfast of tea has been cooked by a tartar woman, with water of the amur, who wiped her earthen kettle with a horse-tail. i have roasted wild eggs in the sand of sahara; i have awakened in paris estrapades and vienna malzleins, with no prospect of breakfast beyond elemental liquid. that i had my living to seek saved me from dying, — by suicide. in our busy europe, is there not an everlasting demand for intellect, in the chemical, mechanical, political, religious, educational, commercial departments? in pagan countries, cannot one write fetishes? living! little knowest thou what alchemy is in an inventive soul; how, as with its little finger, it can create provision enough for the body (of a philosopher); and then, as with both hands, create quite other than provision; namely, spectres to torment itself withal.”

poor teufelsdrockh! flying with hunger always parallel to him; and a whole infernal chase in his rear; so that the countenance of hunger is comparatively a friend’s! thus must he, in the temper of ancient cain, or of the modern wandering jew, — save only that he feels himself not guilty and but suffering the pains of guilt, — wend to and fro with aimless speed. thus must he, over the whole surface of the earth (by footprints), write his sorrows of teufelsdrockh; even as the great goethe, in passionate words, had to write his sorrows of werter, before the spirit freed herself, and he could become a man. vain truly is the hope of your swiftest runner to escape “from his own shadow”! nevertheless, in these sick days, when the born of heaven first descries himself (about the age of twenty) in a world such as ours, richer than usual in two things, in truths grown obsolete, and trades grown obsolete, — what can the fool think but that it is all a den of lies, wherein whoso will not speak lies and act lies, must stand idle and despair? whereby it happens that, for your nobler minds, the publishing of some such work of art, in one or the other dialect, becomes almost a necessity. for what is it properly but an altercation with the devil, before you begin honestly fighting him? your byron publishes his sorrows of lord george, in verse and in prose, and copiously otherwise: your bonaparte represents his sorrows of napoleon opera, in an all-too stupendous style; with music of cannon-volleys, and murder-shrieks of a world; his stage-lights are the fires of conflagration; his rhyme and recitative are the tramp of embattled hosts and the sound of falling cities. — happier is he who, like our clothes–philosopher, can write such matter, since it must be written, on the insensible earth, with his shoe-soles only; and also survive the writing thereof!

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