there was many an adventure befell me in a pretty broad circuit of life that tickled my ribs to a proper tune; and i have cackled over some escapades with a wider mouth than ever i sat out the most roaring comedy of the play-houses. not but what there were some high-stepping pieces to my taste in the town—well enough to clap eyes on, no doubt, but cockatrices mighty greedy of the gullet, as you could spy at a glance. and, after all, a wench is no food for humour, but for another purpose altogether. i pin no faith upon 'em at the best. but of all the chances that i encountered, what most rarely served my palate was this unexpected meeting in the west country, which, i will admit at the outset, and ere i saw clearly the shape of my predicament, set my heart a-bobbing fast enough. it fell in this way.
'twas on a monday in the late summer of that year of grace 1685 that i rode up from the valleys of the north in the company of tony flack, and we came to a pause upon the hind quarters of exeter town. tony himself[81] was for caution, and would have us turn away to a little roadside tavern that we both knew for a safe resting-place, with a staunch innkeeper to boot. but i was for exeter itself, for, to say the truth, my stomach was sour with those rank swipes of the country-side, and 'twas some days since i champed my teeth about a town. the facts argued with tony, chicken-hearted as he was, and i will not deny it; for there right before us lay the argument, in the shape of a rumbling, muddy, parti-coloured chaise that was creeping up the hill. now it had so fallen out, more by way of a jest than by any material design, that we had scarified the occupant of this same carriage some ten miles back in the thick of a waste moorland that afternoon. 'twas a mere idle freak, taken out of wantonness and upon a merry dinner, and by no means for the sake of the guinea or two that we found in his pockets. tony gives the nag a slap of his sword, and off she goes a-spinning down the highway for dear life, with the coachman all a-sweat with terror, and the melancholy visage of a gentleman in his red periwig hanging out of the window; while there we stood, the two of us, laughing a broadside. the nag had a piebald front to her, and the chaise, as i have said, was in several colours; and thus it happened that, the lights falling suddenly[82] on 'em in that tail of the day, as we came out upon the back of exeter, tony drew up and shoved his paw forward with a mighty blank face.
"see there, dick!" says he. "and what d'ye make of that?"
'twas plain enough what i made of it, but i only laughed.
"i make a chaise and the half," says i, "and i'll warrant to make two by the time we reach exeter," for, to be sure, swipes or no swipes, we had, each of us, a good warm lining to the stomach.
tony cast me a surly glance. "rot you!" said he, "an' if the liquor spoil your wits, i'll be damned if it shall mine. nor i won't run my neck into the noose for you nor any like you."
"you're a white-livered sort of cur, you are, tony," said i, with another laugh. "and i suppose the traps will be waiting for us in a posse outside the white hart. and i shouldn't wonder if the topsman himself was to snatch off his hat to us as we passed by."
"sink me!" growled tony, "you forget 'twas broad daylight when we took 'em."
"well," says i, "i have a notion to sleep in exeter, and i mind me of a very dainty belly under my belt."
with that we brought up in a disputation,[83] and being in a merry mood, what with the wine and the sight of the windows twinkling in the town above me, i gave him a pretty salvo of wit, which sent him presently into a sullen temper.
"as you will," said he at last, "but i am no fool, and none knows better than you, dick ryder, that i am no coward. and i will be hanged for a common cutpurse if i go forth again upon any such mad business with a tipsy braggart."
"braggart!" i cried, starting aflame, and twisting calypso round against his horse's rump. but tony saw in a flash that he had gone too far, and he turned very mild again.
"i mean no offence," said he; "we have been good comrades together, dick ryder. but i will warrant these daredevil humours will fetch us both up in newgate ere long, and that's what i'm looking at," says he.
i laughed. "you would prove a better tobyman, tony," said i, "if you would think less of your neck." and then, looking at him, i roared, "but, zounds, i don't wonder at your fears!" for his neck was like a cygnet's, only discoloured to a rusty iron.
but tony was still in a sour enough mood, and though he jogged his horse to my summons, he spoke no word as we went up the hill. the chaise had vanished, but for all[84] that i could see his thoughts were twittering about it. and in this way we rode up into the town, sprinkled with growing lights, and 'twas not until we came abreast of the white hart that tony opened his mouth.
"if i was you, and was of your kidney," says he, with a sneer, "i should think shame to dine upon a sanded floor and drink out of ale-jugs. nothing short of the white hart would suit me; no, not if i was to swing for it—if i was you, dick ryder."
"damme," says i, suddenly, and reining in, "that same thought was in my own noddle! and, sure, the white hart it shall be." with that i turned the mare's nose and was pointing for the door, when tony stopped me.
"what the devil would you do?" he cried in his alarm. "you will fetch the noose over us!"
"faith," said i, "but you may go to the devil for me. i am weary of your clacking, and i have a mind to dine in good company."
he fell back with a curse, and calypso moved on. but turning back, i saw him staring with a sulky sneer upon his face, and i could perceive from his attitude that he took my words for an empty piece of boasting. then there was that term "braggart" stuck in my gullet; and in a second, and upon the impulse, i pulled the mare's nose against the[85] doorway and bawled for the ostler. tony was still visible, standing agape in the centre of the road; but i paid him no heed, merely handing the bridle to the ostler, and then leaping from the saddle, i walked through the doorway as bold as you please. now within the doorway there was a space of hall, very bare and plain, and upon two sides there opened doors into the further parts of the house; but the third was filled with a screen of windows, separating a little privy corner, in which sat the innkeeper, very greasy and affable of look. i threw down a guinea and he fetched out a pint of wine; the which drunken, i turned on my heel and clattered up to a great door set with brass knobs. but the little fat landlord was on my heels in a moment.
"you cannot enter there," says he, in a great taking. "'tis a private room, and not for strangers."
but with the wine newly bubbling in my head, i made little of him. "the devil!" said i. "i will have what i pay for, and i will enter where i list."
"but, indeed," he gasped, "'tis a place privily set apart, and for an occasion."
"'tis good news," i answered, with a cackle, "for that is what my heart is set upon."
[86]
he clasped my arm. "sir! sir!" he cried, "indeed this will be most vexatious to his lordship, and will lose me his custom."
i started round on him sharply. "if i want a door with brass knobs," says i, angrily, "i will have you know that i will have a door with brass knobs, ye little louse, ye!" and throwing off his hand, i opened the door.
now 'tis certain enough that had i conserved my wits more properly, and that dismal juice was not so fluent in my blood, i would never have risked this piece of devilry. not but what dick ryder wears a better face on him in the nick of peril than most, but this, as you will see, was scarce the occasion for a wanton adventure, and i will confess that tony's counsels were wiser than my own. but i was heated with the drink and the long ride, and i would bear no gainsaying. and so back i flung the door. the same instant a cackle of laughter saluted my ears and a stream of light flashed in my eyes. what i made out was a long table, very elegantly prepared, and a dozen or more of gentle-folk seated at the board, and plying their knives like good trenchermen. there was a fire roaring on the hearth, and altogether the scene was very merry and presented a comfortable face. and what with that appearance of warmth and the smell of the viands[87] tickling my nostrils, i hesitated no longer upon the threshold where i stood, but pulling to the door, i strode across the room and shot my eyes about the table. just then there came another flood of laughter, and in the noise of it i stood surveying the company, by this time in something of a confusion, and wondering in my fuddled wits what the devil i was at; when suddenly there gets up a gentleman from his seat near by, and very civilly offers me a chair. "oh, well," thinks i, "as i am gone so far, i may as well flesh my nose in the victuals;" and with a word of grace in answer to his courtesy, down i propped upon my prats, and fell upon the viands with a will.
the room was buzzing with sound, and the warmth and the fare pleased me very well. but where the devil i was gotten, and who the devil these cullies might be, and why in god's name i was thus politely admitted to the board—these were the enigmas that floated about in my head. not that i was in any embarrassment; for it was enough for me if i was to be entertained thus royally, waited upon with the best, and conjoined with a high company, such as was scattered about me—and all without so much as a single trespass upon the pocket. but by-and-by my civil neighbour turns to me.
[88]
"you are late," he says. "i suppose you were held at the court; or do you ride from town?"
"well," says i, very careful, for i am not the man to trip myself over a word, "in a manner you may say yes," i says; and i took a draught of the tanker afore me.
"ah!" he said, and seemed to puzzle his wits over the rejoinder; but i conceive he was in no very active condition of mind, and it is like enough that what i said seemed from some corners of aspect to contain a sensible answer. so he followed after my example, and sipped his wine meditatively.
"his lordship," says he, soon again, "is in high feather this evening."
"you may say that," said i, delivering a glance towards the head of the table, where sat a long-faced, handsome-looking fellow, whom, to say sooth, i had not as yet minded in the satisfaction of my appetite. "he is filling a paunch, i warrant," i said, with a laugh.
"hush!" whispered he, with a scared look on his face, and glancing about him, "you will be overheard."
"overheard!" i said. "am i a wench that must walk mim-mouthed through her wine, and not deal in the king's plain english? i permit no man to dictate me upon my language—not i."
[89]
the fellow stared at me for a time, and then, "you have a bold tongue," said he, with what i could perceive was a hint of the ironic. "i have no doubt you ply it well. what is your court?" says he.
ay, there was the rub—what was my court? and what the devil was i when you came to the kernel? i had made out nothing as yet, being taken up with the food and the attentions of this gaping oaf. but i was not to be confounded by him, not if i knew my own temper; and court or no court, i made answer bluff as you please. "the same as yours," says i.
"oh!" says he, breaking into a smile. "i wear my professions very discernible, then?"
"yes, you do," said i, bluntly.
"i am glad i have met you," he went on, pleasantly, "and i shall make it my duty to pursue our acquaintance. it is odd, indeed. and what think you, sir, of the fassett business?"
he spoke with the air of hanging on my words, and i was convinced that, whatever this d——d matter was, 'twas something of which i must needs be cognizant. so in i plunged.
"ah, you may well ask," says i, nodding my head. "gad! and i see you are agreed with me. the circumstances stand so plain[90] that there is no denial. by god! you are right; i'll warrant that; and i myself am game to prove it with the point," says i, slapping my sword.
the gentleman drew away, looking at me with some amazement, and presently his face took on an expression of confusion, and says he,—
"quite so!" says he. "oh, yes, i am of your party;" and in truth i believe the fool took what i said for a reply to his interrogation. but by this i was now sobered enough to discover the responsibilities among which i was thrown, and that i must keep a strong observation open if i was not to run my head into danger. and the first, i must enlighten myself upon this company in which i found myself; for which purpose, leaning forward, i set my eyes upon the man at the end of the table and examined him diligently. he was, i judged, somewhere about thirty-five, of a fine oval face, very justly proportioned, a sallow brown in habit, and crowned above his rich brown eyes with a great brown wig, which sat awry upon his head, and added an effeminate look to the profligate softness of his lower face. his features were very finely marked, his nose long and straight and delicately fleshed, as were his curved and smiling lips; and his eyes, which were large within[91] the sockets, gleamed like agates between the narrow curtains of his eyelids, and sprang very quickly into one simulation or another. altogether his was a remarkable face to look on, and attracted strongly, for all the saturnine changes of his colour. he was laughing, flushed to the sombre eyes. i had finished my scrutiny, and i took off my gaze from him, and was for letting it fall back on my neighbour to interrogate him upon the identity of this fine cock, when in its passage along the opposite side of the table i discovered, not very far from his lordship himself, no other than the prim-faced gentleman of the parti-coloured chaise that tony and i had ransacked that same afternoon upon the moors.
the discovery struck me with dismay, as you will imagine; but there was worse to tread upon its heels, for the man was bowing with a delicate and sickly smile to one that toasted him from t'other side, and in putting down his glass, and with the grin still upon his lips, his eyes lighted upon mine and we exchanged glances.
the cully turned a trifle pale, and winced, moving in his seat. then he frowned, and seemed mightily taken up with his plate, after which he lifted his head again and directed a look on me. i met him very bold and square, and his eyes gave way before me,[92] surrendering, so to say, to my discharge; for i warrant i gave him a heavy broadside. but all the time i kept seeking in my brain for some way out of this damnable predicament. presently he catches up a piece of paper, and ripping out a quill, makes some writing, and calling to a lackey, hands him the document. "what's he up to now?" thinks i. but i was soon to learn, for the footboy walked up to the head of the table, and with a bow offered the paper to his lordship—whoever the devil he might be.
"well," says i to myself, "i am committed to it now; and it's my bearing against his, and the best credentials." and with that, feeling that the matter was passed out of my hands, i turned on my neighbour, and says i to him, but still keeping an eye on the pale-faced booby, "who may his lordship be?" i says.
now 'twas folly in me to have put the query so direct, and indeed i would not have ventured on the simplicity had not my wits been disturbed by the incident i have related. but, in point of fact, it mattered very little to the issue of the misadventure, though my friend started very suddenly, and gazed at me in a gaping fashion.
"you are jesting," he says. "his lordship?"
"well," says i, a trifle grimly, for i saw[93] the same lordship casting his eyes upon the paper. "and maybe you can put a name on him, if i can't."
"but—but," he stammered, and then "who may you be?" he asked, with some suspicion, and in another manner.
"damn you!" said i, "i've put you a question, and a gentleman should need no reminder of his necessary civilities," for by this i saw his lordship's soft and shining eyes directed on us. "what's the cully's name?" i asked.
he looked up, following my glance, and we both stared at the man who was staring at us.
"'tis my lord jeffreys," he says, in a bare whisper. you will believe me, and i make no shame to admit it, that my legs took a tremor at the words; but i can keep a face upon me with any, and so i stared at that sinister and smiling butcher, and he stared at me, for the space of some seconds; and then i took a draught of wine.
"thank'ee," says i, calmly, to my neighbour. "'tis well. i have some business with his lordship."
i spoke very calmly, as i say, but you will believe me my heart was sunk into my boots on this news. there was no man at that time but held the name of bloody jeffreys in a horror. he lumped so large in the popular[94] fear that he was taken for an emblem and ensign of satan himself, so diabolic and so ensanguined was his practice. i have seen many formidable persons in my time, and exchanged passadoes with several of them, but there it was—the fact and figure of that murdering, black-hearted, handsome rake, almost of an age with myself, seated there in his chair, crept over me like the pest, and discharged my wits abroad like a spray of sand scattered afore the wind. i cast my eye again on him, for, indeed, i could not keep it away, and a faint sardonic grin touched his face as he met my glance. he summoned to him a lackey and spoke in his ear with an imperious gesture, whereat the fellow, seeming very much frightened, hurried out of the room, and i doubted not that he was gone for the officers. his lordship then turns to the gentleman near him and, still with his stealthy and terrible smile, whispers under his breath. the whole company, meanwhile, which had all along hung upon his looks and conversation like a pack of craven dogs on their master, was fallen into sudden silence; but this communication was spread from mouth to mouth like a running fire, and in a moment the whole room was agape and directing on me surprised and startled glances. but this pulled me together, and 'twas high time too.
[95]
"well," thinks i, "an' i must lay my back against a wall, i must; but they shall learn that dick ryder is not to be browbeat by a lot of scurvy lawyers" (for so i supposed 'em), "whatever fate be in store for him."
and so, turning to my next-door neighbour, i began very loudly, and as if resuming a conversation with him,—
"nay, nay; but i am at odds with you, sir. faith, i disagree with you entirely! upon my soul, i have never seen his lordship in a better condition and better plumed for service! a worm in his head, say you? godsakes, i'll never believe it! his wits wear to a knife edge with practice."
now this was spoke, as i have said, in a clamant voice, which, resounding on the unnatural silence that had fallen on the room, reaches me the ears of all this company, as i had desired, and more particularly those of his lordship, for whom i had designed the speech. jeffreys turned of a sudden a darker red under his brown, and his woman's eyes shot anger.
"and who is this that dares pass questions on his lordship?" he cries, in a sharp, clear tone. "come, i should like to look on him attentively," he says, "that i might know him again. he must be a fellow worth acquaintance[96] if for his future only. i promise you that shall be secured to him, and that he shall know very soon."
but at this ugly exhibition of temper, and more especially at the malicious menace it conveyed, my poor neighbour fell into a fluster, and ran white and red in turns, opening his mouth, and trembling and stuttering, and gasping like a dying fish. "my lord, i—i said nothing. 'tis false," he stammered.
the poor wretch was in so pitiable a way that i found it in my heart to be sorry for him; and, after all, he had served me very kindly at the start, so i spoke up, rising in my seat and bowing.
"my lord," i said, "the gentleman says well. though 'twas to him that my remarks in praise of yourself were addressed, i was mistook. 'twas not on you that his comment was directed."
"that is a very likely tale," said his lordship, with a frown; and then appearing to recover himself, as he was used to do, quite rapidly, he stared at me with another expression.
"i am in your debt, sir," he said, "for your defence of me. you do well. i warrant jeffreys has still his wits about him. he has an eye for a rogue, sir. you will do him the justice to acknowledge that, i hope, on our[97] better acquaintance." and he laughed somewhat harshly, and eyed the board as if inviting a round of acclamation. the miserable time-servers cackled their loudest, and his lordship, turning again to me, "i should know your face," says he, and offers a kind of wink to the company.
"'tis no wonder, my lord," i answered, pat as you will; "'tis almost as well known as your lordship's, and almost as favourably received."
at that a young fellow across the table from me broke into a stutter of laughter. but all the rest were silent. jeffreys looked at him savagely. "i will remember you, charteris," he said simply, and i saw the light flaming in the eyes he directed on me. "that's well," he said, "and i make no doubt that you are, like myself, a dispenser of justice. you hold the scales."
"indeed, my lord," said i, for i was not in a mood to be thus baited whilst waiting on the officers, "there is more resemblance between you and me, perchance, than your lordship will acknowledge."
"ha!" he cried, with his cold and bitter laugh. "i knew not that i was unawares entertaining a rival. a learned man in the law is this gentleman, no doubt. well, sir, i will be greedy of your advice while i may.[98] look you. there was a man tried afore me this day that had rumpadded a civil and innocent gentleman upon the king's highway, and faith the rascal was rash enough to venture into the company of his victim to dinner. what d'ye say to that? what sort of sentence would ye deliver on the wretch?"
"how was he took?" said i.
"well," says his lordship, after a pause, and smiling towards the door, "i fancy the sheriff's officers were summoned upon him."
"nay," said i. "then, had i been justice, since he was took, i would ha' hanged him, for 'twas a poor wit that served him no surer than to be so took."
"fie!" says jeffreys. "what interpreter of the law is here!"
"'twould not be the first time that the law was twisted by its dispenser, my lord," said i, boldly.
his lordship's smile stole farther up his face, and opened his lips so that the white teeth shone, and he smiled in an ugly fashion to the fellow next him.
"you hear that, my lord?" says he, in his sneering way. "faith, they will presently be saying that we did not deal justice to dame alice lisle."
the man that he addressed winced and smiled uneasily, for 'twas well known that[99] the popular feeling ran high upon the scandalous trial, which was but newly concluded, though i wondered to hear the prime engine of that infamous conviction jest so wantonly upon it. but that was jeffreys's way, to offer a bold face and play the bully when he was in power; but when he was down, there was no coward to whine like him, as events proved subsequently. but jeffreys turns to me again, content enough with his sally.
"sirrah," he said, "you have a signal charter for your tongue, i can perceive. it is a righteous conscience keeps you in countenance. you are bold upon your virtues. i have met your kidney before, and if i must hang a knave, i prefer to hang one with an insolent front to him that snivels. i would disembowel t'other in the pillory. there is too much softness in this modern justice."
"my lord," says i, "you speak my feelings like a book. faith, i would griddle the canting rogue with these two hands."
his lordship smiled very diabolic, and then finished his wine with the air of one that has tired of the play, at the same time nodding to the lackey that stood near by him exceedingly respectful. but he went out of the room.
"gad!" says the young man that was called charteris, in a whisper to his neighbour, "'tis a pity to go farther. faith, i think he[100] hath earned his pardon for the steady face he keeps."
but you must suppose that all this time i was not idle in my mind, but kept casting my wits about the predicament, with a mighty sharp eye upon any chances that emerged. well, the case was turning very black by now, seeing i knew well enough for what the signal of his lordship was intended, and i had as yet gotten no very clear notion in my head. yet at the next opening of the door, and when the first noise of heavy feet sounded on the threshold, my thoughts spouted forth in a clear stream, and there sat i as taut and cool as you please, for all the world as though 'twas a private party to which jeffreys had invited me for a guest. his lordship rose as the officers entered, and was turning away indifferently without ever a sign or a word, when he suddenly stopped again.
"'twould be strange to learn, sirrah," said he, addressing me, "out of a natural curiosity, what robbed thee of thy senses to fetch thee here. 'tis an odd new policy for the hare to lie down with the fox."
with that i got to my feet. "my lord," said i, very boldly and in a public voice, "i have come here uninvited, 'tis true, and i proffer you my apologies for the trespass; but i have come upon a pressing private business with your lordship."
[101]
his lordship stared at me with a sour look in his eye. "indeed?" says he, harshly. "i am not used to have any business but the one with your kidney, and that not private," he says.
"my lord," said i, "'tis the most urgent message, and needeth instant delivery."
i saw in his eye that he still meditated to refuse me, but i set my gaze upon him very intently, and what he thought he saw there made him waver.
"well," said he, in his tyrannical fashion, "i hope we shall hear good of this message; for i swear, if i do not, i will have thee hanged the higher," and he motioned to me to draw nearer, at the same time that the other gentlemen of the king's counsel withdrew to the bottom of the room, conversing together. but the officers approached, and stood a little way off by jeffreys's signal, but keeping out of earshot.
"who are you, fellow, and what pretences are these you make?" asked his lordship, roughly, as soon as we were alone, but examining me with curiosity.
"my lord," said i, "i make no pretences, as i shall assure you; and as for myself, believe me that i play a truer part than does appear."
i looked at him meaningly.
[102]
"let us come to plain speech," said he, sharply. "i cannot dawdle with your riddles."
"i ask no better, my lord," i cried. "i bear a message from the prince."
he started, and stared at me under his brows in suspicion. "what prince?" he asked brusquely.
"there is but one," said i, boldly, "and one that shall rest so no longer by god's grace and the trusty arms of england."
"you mean the prince of orange?" he asked, in a lower voice. i nodded. for a while he looked me in the eyes, and then, turning to the sheriff's officers, ordered them to withdraw a little; after which he came back to me, surveying me with his cold and savage eyes, but with something of anxiety.
"you are a bold man," he said, "to bring me this message."
"i would do that and more than that for the good cause," said i.
jeffreys was silent, and then, "come, what is this message, then?" he inquired, with a sardonic glance.
for the life of me i could not have determined if he were taken with the bait, but i swore to hook him, as, indeed, it was the only course left to me.
"your lordship has not heard the news[103] from the coast?" says i, looking round very cautiously.
"proceed," he commanded, watching me with his beautiful and horrid eyes.
"events have been stirring in the low country," said i, "as your lordship will be aware. the whole of the north is disaffected against his majesty. it needs but to land," i said, "and your lordship knows what might happen."
"i think, sir, we were to come to quarters," said jeffreys, in a low voice, but still in his imperious way.
well, if he would take it, he was to have it then and there. "the prince," says i, whispering, "is already landed."
he started before my eyes, but recovering himself, "i have had runners from plymouth this afternoon," he said, "and there was no news of import."
"nay," said i, "'tis not from plymouth i come, my lord."
"if i were to ask you whence—" he began, after a pause.
"you would remember, my lord, ere you did so, that i have not yet delivered my message, and thus have had no reply," i said.
"you remind me of my duty," he exclaimed sternly. "deliver this message, for i can tarry no longer."
[104]
"my lord," said i, "i would have come to it sooner were it not for your distrust. i am charged by the prince himself, no less. i have ridden all day upon a circuit. three noblemen were named, and your lordship also. the prince lies on english soil to-night, and would confer with these four faithful subjects."
jeffreys stood awhile in thought, his delicate face changing with a dozen emotions. then he spoke very harshly.
"this is very well, sirrah. you make an excellent liar," he said. "you would come here and offer me a cock-and-bull tale, thinking me a lack-wit to see you so impudently stand in your lie."
"my lord," said i, as warm as may be, "see in what my position stands. i am come here, penetrating to your very fireside. i stake my head upon the risk. 'tis in your office to sound a word, and these fellows will take me forth upon a capital charge of treason. i have cast my die for the good cause. yet my death, which would be an evil to me in that case, would profit you nothing, my lord—nay, less than nothing in the coming trouble."
again he paused. "the chief justice of this realm does not parley with treason," said he.
but i had a glimpse of the man now; i saw what fear ran in his blood; he would not[105] have kept me haggling there if he had it not in his heart to coquet with fortune.
"my lord," i said, "and who would credit that a poor highwayman talked of state politics with the lord chief justice? why, a gallows and the topsman would serve his turn."
he heaved a little sigh, fidgeting with his fingers. "who the devil are you?" he asked. "you are taken for a padsman."
"my lord," said i, "'tis strange company a man may keep for a purpose. i will not deny that i know your suspicions, and whence they spring. indeed, it was the gentleman's natural conclusion. i was pressed to carry my mission. sure i have been worse accompanied than by a tobyman. but as for my name, your lordship has given me no answer. call me ryder. i am for the prince."
he heard me out, and 'twas the little touch of braggadocio i think that converted him, as much as anything. "what do you propose?" he asked, in another tone.
"i would ride back to-night," i said, "unless your lordship decide that i must lodge in jail."
"as to that," he exclaimed, "mr ryder, i fear that we must lodge you there in the meantime. what hour would you start?"
[106]
"the sooner the better," said i. "but nine will serve."
he regarded me with an urgent face of inquiry. "this may be a trap," he said suspiciously.
"your lordship may guard against that," said i, suavely. "as large an escort of horse as you will, and none to know our destination save us two."
"nay, none save yourself, mr ryder, it appears," he said grimly. "but you say well. i will be with you at nine."
thereupon he motioned me away with a gesture of impatience and calling on the sheriff, pointed at me. the next moment i was surrounded and in their arms; but i played my part like a play-actor, crying upon his lordship to hear me, and making a piteous struggle with the officers.
a little later, and you might see me settled in the compter, hugging myself the one minute, and the next perplexed upon a further step; for, by what i saw of jeffreys, i reckoned upon my punctual deliverance. the fact is that he was afeared of what would issue from this promised trouble of the dutchman, and 'twas reported that such was the state of most of those about the court, who were in the mind to play two parts, and neither with any stomach. yet as the time[107] drew on and i had ample leisure to digest the various aspects of the adventure, i confess i was assailed by a fear lest jeffreys should have been disporting himself with me, or should have cocked the white feather, and that i was still to rest and rot in that pestiferous dungeon. so that when at last the door swung wide and one of the turnkeys appeared, i was like to have cried out in my glee. 'twas the signal, sure enough, for i was taken forthright out of my cell, and commanded into the presence of the governor. i do not know by what trickery the affair was managed, but if there was ever any dark intrigue to the point, you might trust bloody jeffreys for that; all i know is that 'twas but a few minutes ere i was out of the gates of the compter, under the pale face of the moon, and with my heels in the flanks of calypso, gently ambling in a silent company towards the plymouth road.
his lordship had taken me at my word, and there were six or more in the band that surrounded me; but we rode in a deep quiet, and for a long while i offered no address to the horseman by me, whom i supposed to be the chief justice himself. but presently, and when our faces were well set upon the plymouth highway, and there was less chance that the cavalcade would invite curiosity owing to the sparseness of the wayfarers, he[108] turned to me and spoke up for himself. it was jeffreys, sure enough, and he wore a mighty look of worry, as i could perceive at the first glance.
"you have not informed me, mr ryder," says he, "to what destination we are bound?"
now this was pretty much to the point, for bloody jeffreys was not the man to waste useless words; but, lord love you, i had as much notion of whither we were set for as he had himself. 'twas for a chance i was playing, and now that i had my two legs across calypso once more, it would go badly with the whole half-dozen of 'em if i did not show a clean pair of heels somewhere and sometime. but of course i had thought upon the question in my prison, and says i, "you will understand, your lordship, that it's not in my authority to commit anything to words. i am bound by the prince's orders."
"that is very well," he retorted, in his arrogant way. "but it appears that i must commit myself, and no one else. 'tis a one-sided bargain i am not used to make."
"my lord," said i, very earnestly, "i will not deny but there is reason in your argument—and, for myself, i would at once admit you to my plans. but i am the custodian of the prince's secret. 'tis none of my own i guard."
[109]
"well, well," he cried with impatience, "i suppose that i am to arrive somewhere."
"and where that somewhere is your lordship shall learn," said i, "with the permission and from the lips of his gracious majesty king william."
he started at the words, and eyed me askance for a space, a dubious expression of irresolution crossing his features. "you are a bold man, mr ryder," he exclaimed, with something of a sneer. "i may remind you that there surround you five stalwart men-at-arms that own allegiance to his majesty james ii."
"and you would have added, my lord," said i, "that james stuart's trusted servant is conversing with me. i am sensible of the peril in which i stand. but i am no facing-both-ways. i hold by my conscience, i' faith."
"sir," he rapped out, harsh and sudden, "i have laid you by the heels within the precincts of the compter once, and there i will lay you again, if you brandish your impudence before me."
"in the which case, my lord," quoth i, coldly, "you will be nothing bettered, and king william would have a loyal servant to avenge."
he said nothing, angrily considering me.
[110]
"come, come, my lord," i said, "we are in a kind of silly balance one against t'other, and, to put no veil upon the situation, we scarce dare trust each other. i walk in a great public peril, sure, with your hands upon me, but consider upon what risks you yourself also move. i am familiar to the prince; my errand is known about his court. turn about your horse, fetch me in chains to justice, and how will you appear? 'tis a summary way with a royal herald. i ask you with what eyes the king will view this act, and with what penalties he will reward it?"
jeffreys said nothing for a time, and then, speaking slowly, "you have," he said, in a quieter voice, "a strong persuasion of the prince's triumph."
"my lord," said i, "you yourself shall be the judge. what cries are these that issue from the town these many months? with what voices was the duke of monmouth welcomed but yesterday? nay, the people of this very country-side, newly trodden and trampled by king james's dragoons, scarred and lacerated by your own ensanguined hands, my lord—with what a face do they regard james stuart, and what a welcome think you they would give ye for yourself?"
his lordship whitened under the moonlight, and his face betrayed an emotion of terror.[111] 'twas plain that he had entertained these same thoughts, and that my design had given him several unhappy hours. but he made me no answer, and rode on, digesting these considerations with what stomach he might.
now all this time we were getting farther into the rude country parts of the shire, and more than once i had turned the party upon a by-way, so that by this we were come out by the devil knows where. moreover, it was become very late, and a shrewd wind from the south came snapping about our faces. and thus it grew upon me that i must bring this topsy-turvy adventure to some close, with what wit i might; the more particularly as by his lordship's contrivance (i make no doubt) i rode in the midst of a circle, and was evidently to consider myself a fast prisoner in the meantime. now i had bred in my mind a very tolerable design by which i might have given 'em the slip, but by this time i was too nearly watched for that, and the bare appearance of the little inn of wolcombe, which i was contemplating, would have served to start suspicions, if not certainty, in jeffreys's noddle. so thinks i to myself that 'tis ever a bold course that runs the least risk, as, indeed, i have always attributed my own security to my never shirking a hazard in the passage of fortune. upon which suggestion[112] comes another—that the present would serve as well as another opportunity, and better too, seeing that his lordship's eyes were beginning to lower on me at this undue delay. wherefore what do i at this juncture, and when jogging along the way in the full face of old oliver, but rein the nag to one side, and reaching down, open a huge gate that stood a little aback from the road.
"what is this?" asked jeffreys, in surprise.
"this is the place, my lord," said i, in a whisper. "if you will march with me a little in the fore of these men, i will instruct you further as we ride up."
there was a moment's pause on his part, but then i suppose he considered the probabilities, and he saw that the road was clearly an approach to some great house. at anyrate, he issued an order to his escort, and the party wheeled up after me through the gateway and up the avenue.
"i take it, sir," he said at once, "that the prince lies here?"
"that is so, my lord," said i, though, to say sooth, i was all the time wondering what the devil might lie at the end of this long passage, and what should be my next turn in the game. but jeffreys seemed quite satisfied, and he even displayed a ruffle of eagerness[113] at this juncture; and so once more in deep silence we rode on, and came out soon upon a great terrace of gravel surrounded by an amphitheatre of trees, with the long house lying black and high upon one side. the whole troop came to a halt here, and his lordship turned to me as who should ask, "what must be done now?" it was manifest on the instant that my only course lay in some prompt act, seeing that there was no opportunity to show my heels; and so, beckoning him with a quiet motion, i jogged on towards the house, calypso's heels making a devilish noise trampling on the stones. somewhere within the house shone a faint light, though 'twas long past midnight, and it seemed, therefore, that someone was astir within. his lordship's eyes met mine anxiously, and he moistened his lips. he was greatly agitated, for certain, and the sight strung my nerves. off i leaped, and rapped loudly upon the knocker before the big door. now i swear to you that when i laid my fingers to the knocker i had never a thought in my head as to the course i should pursue. but on that instant, and while the echoes rang still in my ears, i took a quick notion. leaning forward to jeffreys, i said, whispering,—
"my lord, i will prepare your way. keep ye here, and you shall be fetched presently."
[114]
he stared at me suspiciously and in some bewilderment; but ere he could say anything the door swung gently back. with a spring i was across the threshold—and click goes the lock behind me in the very face of the astonished janitor. but he fell a-trembling.
"who are you?" he said, while the light he carried shook in his hands.
"hush!" says i, warningly; "make no noise. your lives hang on it. there is a pack of dirty cut-throats on my heels," i says.
"oh, lord!" he groaned, and retired hurriedly from the door. i followed him, but he drew back, very suspicious.
"my good man," said i, judging him by his looks to be the butler, "pray use me with no suspicion. i am come to warn you. see, i bear no arms, but am a private and peaceful citizen like yourself."
"how come you here?" he asked, being somewhat reassured.
"i became privy to their designs by accident at the wolcombe inn, the scurvy rogues," said i, very pat and indignant, "and i have rode on to warn your master in the nick of time. where may he be?"
"his lordship is abed, sir," he says.
"oh, well," said i, "hale him forth."
"nay, but i dare not," says he.
[115]
"oh, very well," said i. "then you shall have your throats cut, every man."
his jaw fell; then, "i have a blunderbuss," says he, brightening of a sudden.
"blunderbuss!" says i, with a sneer. "why, 'tis a veritable band of roaring satans, that lives on blunderbusses."
"oh, lord deliver us!" he cried, and wrung his hands. "what shall we do?"
now, in point of fact, as you may see, 'twas in my power without more ado to play on my poor butler's fears, and so, skipping out of a back door, to leave jeffreys and his crew to cool their heels on the terrace. but i was by this time infused with a certain zest of the adventure; i entertained it with a gusto; and so, drawing him gravely to a window near by that looked upon the front.
"see you," said i, pointing out the escort where they lay in waiting, "there's a monstrous set of rascals for ye, all a-hungering for blood, they are, all a-spitting on their hands to flirt their hangers, with which to slit the throats of poor civil citizens like me and you."
"lord save us!" he said, with his teeth going. and just at that moment a thin voice sounded from somewhere above, and a tall lean old gentleman, wrapped in a night-rail and looking choleric of face, peered over the stairway at us.
[116]
"what the devil are you at, jenkins?" he says peevishly.
"oh, my lord," cried jenkins (if that was the fool's name), "'tis a gentleman that has come to warn us—and there is a pack of highwaymen without, and our throats shall all be cut! heaven help us!"
"silence, sirrah! i will have none of this noise," cries the old gentleman, in a peppery voice. "you have disturbed my rest!" he says angrily.
"but, my lord," cried poor jenkins, "the highwaymen—"
"well, well," says he, shrilly, "send 'em away. you must get rid of 'em," and he looked testily at the butler.
but by this time with the noise of our talking the whole house was awake, and there came the sound of doors opening, and forth from dark passages broke lights, and faces peeped over balustrades.
"my lord," said i, for 'twas time for me to think of old jeffreys outside, "'tis true there's highwaymen without, but i can think of a way to trap 'em."
"'tis well someone has his wits," says he, pettishly. "well, what would you do?"
"i would let the captain in," said i, "when he knocks on the door, and shutting him off from his fellows, fall upon him and take him."
[117]
"what then?" said he.
"why," says i, "you may then make your terms with the gang, having him for a hostage."
"why did you not think of that, jenkins?" said the old gentleman, querulously. "jenkins, you shall capture the captain as this gentleman advises."
but jenkins's face fell, and he fidgeted with his fingers: 'twas plain the mission was not to his taste. there was no time to spend upon such tremors, for indeed i knew that jeffreys would be getting suspicious in his mind, and i was now resolute to put a score upon him for his ugly behaviour. so said i: "there is no need, my lord, to entrust the matter to jenkins here, seeing that all may bear a hand. i make no doubt that there be weapons of a kind, and if mr jenkins, maybe, will jump on the villain's back when he is down—"
"faith, that will i," said jenkins, stoutly, and armed himself forthwith with a warming-pan that hung upon the walls.
and that act setting the note, the company broke away in a commotion, each securing some form of a missile wherewith to assail the miscreant. and with that, as if the affair was already at an end, the old gentleman pulls his wrapper close around him and returns very coolly to his bed. but i had no time for[118] these observations, for now was come the occasion upon which my scheme depended, and,—
"there he knocks," said i, suddenly.
but they were all so cluttered with their fears and their excitement that not one of them but believed i spoke the truth.
"lord, how savage he knocks!" says a wench, with a shiver, and lays hold of a lackey's arm.
i went down to the door, and upon the first lifting of the latch they popped away like rabbits in a warren. there, sure enough, was his lordship, in a mighty trepidation and with an ugly scowl.
"come in," says i, in a whisper; "the prince was abed, but will see you at once, my lord."
he came over the threshold, and—clap—i shut the door behind him; and when that was done i breathed more freely, for i knew that i was secure in my game. the chief justice, looking very fine and stately, advanced down the solitary hall, emerging under the dim light; and then, all of a sudden a hassock came rustling through the air and took him in the belly. over he went with a little gasp, and measured his length upon the floor. upon that leaps out my friend jenkins with his warming-pan, and bestriding his[119] lordship's back, sets to belabouring for dear life. immediately after, and encouraged by this, others of the lackeys sprang forth and fell to maltreating the poor cully where he lay.
"take that, you lousy knave, you?" says one fat wench, and turns over him a kitchen utensil of some kind.
"let me scratch his eyes!" cries another; and lord love you, what with their exclamations and the screaming, to say nothing of the noise of jenkins's warming-pan and his lordship's angry oaths, you would have thought that bedlam was broke loose.
but in the midst of it all i caught suddenly a sound of horses' hoofs upon the gravel, and on the top of that came a hammering at the door. i am no fool to outstay my welcome and so thinks i that the time is come, and seizing a light that stood near by i made straight through the midst of that uproar and plunged into the nether darkness of the house. here, by picking my way through divers passages, i presently came forth by a side door and passed out into the night. a shrill whistle in the old way fetched calypso to me whinnying, and as i put my hand upon her bridle i turned back and listened. there was that pandemonium still within the hall, reaching me faintly through the open doorway, and the escort was still hammering on[120] the hall door. then i leaped into the saddle and turned the mare's nose down a side track in the park, and the last i heard as i rode off, chuckling to myself, was the noise of the escort pounding on the door.
