mending the green pitcher

sails long and white as swan's wings carried the ship farflyer through summer air down the bay from the armed cliffs toward gont port. she glided into the still water landward of the jetty, so sure and graceful a creature of the wind that a couple of townsmen fishing off the old quay cheered her in, waving to the crewmen and the one passenger standing in the prow.

he was a thin man with a thin pack and an old black cloak, probably a sorcerer or small tradesman, nobody important. the two fishermen watched the bustle on the dock and the ship's deck as she made ready to unload her cargo, and only glanced at the passenger with a bit of curiosity when as he left the ship one of the sailors made a gesture behind his back, thumb and first and last finger of the left hand all pointed at him: may you never come back!

he hesitated on the pier, shouldered his pack, and set off into the streets of gont port. they were busy streets, and he got at once into the fish market, abrawl with hawkers and hagglers, paving stones glittering with fish scales and brine. if he had a way, he soon lost it among the carts and stalls and crowds and the cold stares of dead fish.

a tall old woman turned from the stall where she had been insulting the freshness of the herring and the veracity of the fishwife. seeing her glaring at him, the stranger said unwisely, "would you have the kindness to tell me the way i should go for re albi?"

"why, go drown yourself in pig slop for a start," said the tall woman and strode off, leaving the stranger wilted and dismayed. but the fishwife, seeing a chance to seize the high moral ground, blared out, "re albi is it? re albi you want, man? speak up then! the old mage's house, that would be what you'd want at re albi. yes it would. so you go out by the corner there, and up elvers lane there, see, till you reach the tower..."

once he was out of the market, broad streets led him uphill and past the massive watchtower to a town gate. two stone dragons large as life guarded it, teeth the length of his forearm, stone eyes glaring blindly out over the town and the bay. a lounging guard told him just turn left at the top of the road and he'd be in re albi. "and keep on through the village for the old mage's house," the guard said.

so he went trudging up the road, which was pretty steep, looking up as he went to the steeper slopes and far peak of gont mountain that overhung its island like a cloud.

it was a long road and a hot day. he soon had his black cloak off and went on bareheaded in his shirtsleeves, but he had not thought to find water or buy food in the town, or had been too shy to, maybe, for he was not a man familiar with cities or at ease with strangers.

after several long miles he caught up to a cart which he had seen far up the dusty way for a long time as a dark blot in a white blot of dust. it creaked and streaked along at the pace of a pair of small oxen that looked as old, wrinkled, and unhopeful as tortoises. he greeted the carter, who resembled the oxen. the carter said nothing, but blinked.

"might there be a spring of water up the road?" the stranger asked.

the carter slowly shook his head. after a long time he said, "no." a while later he said, "there ain't."

they all plodded along. discouraged, the stranger found it hard to go any faster than the oxen, about a mile an hour, maybe.

he became aware that the carter was wordlessly reaching something out to him: a big clay jug wrapped round with wicker. he took it, and finding it very heavy, drank his fill of the water, leaving it scarcely lighter when he passed it back with his thanks.

"climb on," said the carter after a while.

"thanks. i'll walk. how far might it be to re albi?"

the wheels creaked. the oxen heaved deep sighs, first one, then the other. their dusty hides smelled sweet in the hot sunlight.

"ten mile," the carter said. he thought, and said, "or twelve." after a while he said, "no less."

"i'd better walk on, then," said the stranger.

refreshed by the water, he was able to get ahead of the oxen, and they and the cart and the carter were a good way behind him when he heard the carter speak again. "going to the old mages house," he said. if it was a question, it seemed to need no answer. the traveler walked on.

when he started up the road it had still lain in the vast shadow of the mountain, but when he turned left to the little village he took to be re albi, the sun was blazing in the western sky and under it the sea lay white as steel.

there were scattered small houses, a small dusty square, a fountain with one thin stream of water falling. he made for that, drank from his hands again and again, put his head under the stream, rubbed cool water through his hair and let it run down his arms, and sat for a while on the stone rim of the fountain, observed in attentive silence by two dirty little boys and a dirty little girl.

"he ain't the farrier," one of the boys said.

the traveler combed his wet hair back with his ringers.

"he'll be going to the old mage's house," said the girl, "stupid."

"yerraghh!" said the boy, drawing his face into a horrible lopsided grimace by pulling at it with one hand while he clawed the air with the other.

"you watch it, stony," said the other boy.

"take you there," said the girl to the traveler.

"thanks," he said, and stood up wearily.

"got no staff, see," said one boy, and the other said, "never said he did." both watched with sullen eyes as the stranger followed the girl out of the village to a path that led north through rocky pastures that dropped down steep to the left.

the sun glared on the sea. his eyes dazzled, and the high horizon and the blowing wind made him dizzy. the child was a little hopping shadow ahead of him. he stopped.

"come on," she said, but she too stopped. he came up to her on the path. "there," she said. he saw a wooden house near the cliff's edge, still some way ahead.

"i ain't afraid," the girl said. "i fetch their eggs lots of times for stony's dad to carry to market. once she gave me peaches. the old lady. stony says i stole 'em but i never. go on. she ain't there. neither of em is."

she stood still, pointing to the house.

"nobody's there?"

"the old man is. old hawk, he is."

the traveler went on. the child stood watching him till he went round the corner of the house.

two goats stared down at the stranger from a steep fenced field. a scatter of hens and half-grown chicks pecked and conversed softly in long grass under peach and plum trees. a man was standing on a short ladder against the trunk of one of the trees; his head was in the leaves, and the traveler could see only his bare brown legs.

"hello," the traveler said, and after a while said it again a bit louder.

the leaves shook and the man came briskly down the ladder. he carried a handful of plums, and when he got off the ladder he batted away a couple of bees drawn by the juice. he came forward, a short, straight-backed man, grey hair tied back from a handsome, timeworn face. he looked to be seventy or so. old scars, four white seams, ran from his left cheekbone down to the jaw. his gaze was clear, direct, intense. "they're ripe," he said, "though they'll be even better tomorrow." he held out his handful of little yellow plums.

"lord sparrowhawk," the stranger said huskily. "arch-mage."

the old man gave a curt nod of acknowledgment. "come into the shade," he said.

the stranger followed him, and did what he was told: he sat down on a wooden bench in the shade of the gnarled tree nearest the house; he accepted the plums, now rinsed and served in a wicker basket; he ate one, then another, then a third. questioned, he admitted that he had eaten nothing that day. he sat while the master of the house went into it, coming out presently with bread and cheese and half an onion. the guest ate the bread and cheese and onion and drank the cup of cold water his host brought him. the host ate plums to keep him company.

"you look tired. how far have you come?"

"from roke."

the old man's expression was hard to read. he said only, "i wouldn't have guessed that."

"i'm from taon, lord. i went from taon to roke. and there the lord patterner told me i should come here. to you."

"why?"

it was a formidable gaze.

"because you walked across the dark land living..." the stranger's husky voice died away.

the old man picked up the words: "and came to the far shores of the day. yes. but that was spoken in prophecy of the coming of our king, lebannen."

"you were with him, lord."

"i was. and he gained his kingdom there. but i left mine there. so don't call me by any title. hawk, or sparrowhawk, as you please. and how shall i call you?"

the man murmured his use-name: "alder."

food and drink and shade and sitting down had clearly eased him, but he still looked exhausted. he had a weary sadness in him; his face was full of it.

the old man had spoken to him with a hard edge in his voice, but that was gone when he said, "let's put off talking for a bit. you've sailed near a thousand miles and walked fifteen uphill. and i've got to water the beans and the lettuce id all, since my wife and daughter left the garden in my charge. so rest a while. we can talk in the cool of the evening. or the cool of the morning. there's seldom as much hurry as i used to think there was."

when he came back by half an hour later his guest was flat on his back asleep in the cool grass under the peach trees.

the man who had been archmage of earthsea stopped with a bucket in one hand and a hoe in the other and looked down at the sleeping stranger.

"alder," he said under his breath. "what's the trouble you bring with you, alder?"

it seemed to him that if he wanted to know the man's true name he would know it only by thinking, by putting his mind to it, as he might have done when he was a mage.

but he did not know it, and thinking would not give it to him, and he was not a mage.

he knew nothing about this alder and must wait to be told. "never trouble trouble," he told himself, and went on to water the beans.

as soon as the sun's light was cut offby a low rock wall that ran along the top of the cliff near the house, the cool of the shadow roused the sleeper. he sat up with a shiver, then stood up, a bit stiff and bewildered, with grass seed in his hair. seeing his host filling buckets at the well and lugging them to the garden, he went to help him.

"three or four more ought to do it," said the ex-archmage, doling out water to the roots of a row of young cabbages. the smell of wet dirt was pleasant in the dry, warm air. the westering light came golden and broken over the ground.

they sat on a long bench beside the house door to see the sun go down. sparrowhawk had brought out a bottle and two squat, thick cups of greenish glass. "my wife's son's wine," he said. "from oak farm, in middle valley. a good year, seven years back." it was a flinty red wine that warmed alder right through. the sun set in calm clarity. the wind was down. birds in the orchard trees made a few closing remarks.

alder had been amazed when he learned from the master patterner of roke that the archmage sparrowhawk, that man of legend, who had brought the king home from the realm of death and then flown off on a dragon's back, was still alive. alive, said the patterner, and living on his home island, gont. "i tell you what not many know," the patterner had said, "for i think you need to know it. and i think you will keep his secret."

"but then he is still archmage!" alder had said, with a kind of joy: for it had been a puzzle and concern to all men of the art that the wise men of roke island, the school and center of magery in the archipelago, had not in all the years of king lebannen's rule named an archmage to replace sparrowhawk.

"no," the patterner had said. "he is not a mage at all."

the patterner had told him a little of how sparrowhawk had lost his power, and why; and alder had had time to ponder it all. but still, here, in the presence of this man who had spoken with dragons, and brought back the ring of erreth-akbe, and crossed the kingdom of the dead, and ruled the archipelago before the king, all those stories and songs were in his mind. even as he saw him old, content with his garden, with no power in him or about him but that of a soul made by a long life of thought and action, he still saw a great mage. and so it troubled him considerably that sparrow-hawk had a wife.

a wife, a daughter, a stepson... mages had no family. a common sorcerer like alder might marry or might not, but the men of true power were celibate. alder could imagine this man riding a dragon, that was easy enough, but to think of him as a husband and father was another matter. he couldn't manage it. he tried. he asked, "your-wife-she's with her son, then?"

sparrowhawk came back from far away. his eyes had been on the western gulfs. "no," he said. "she's in havnor. with the king."

after a while, coming all the way back, he added, "she went there with our daughter just after the long dance. lebannen sent for them, to take counsel. maybe on the same matter that brings you here to me. we'll see... but the truth is, i'm tired this evening, and not much disposed to weighing heavy matters. and you look tired too. so a bowl of soup, maybe, and another glass of wine, and sleep? and we'll talk in the morning."

"all with pleasure, lord," alder said, "but for the sleep. that's what i fear."

it took the old man a while to register this, but then he said, "you fear to sleep?"

"dreams."

"ah." a keen glance from the dark eyes under eyebrows grown tangled and half grey. "you had a good nap there in the grass, i think."

"the sweetest sleep i've had since i left roke island. i'm grateful to you for that boon, lord. maybe it will return tonight. but if not, i struggle with my dream, and cry out, and wake, and am a burden to anyone near me. i'll sleep outside, if you permit."

sparrowhawk nodded. "it'll be a pleasant night," he said.

it was a pleasant night, cool, the sea wind mild from the south, the stars of summer whitening all the sky except where the broad, dark summit of the mountain loomed. alder put down the pallet and sheepskin his host gave him, in the grass where he had slept before.

sparrowhawk lay in the little western alcove of the house. he had slept there as a boy, when it was ogion's house and he was ogion's prentice in wizardry. tehanu had slept there these last fifteen years, since she had been his daughter. with her and tenar gone, when he lay in his and tenar's bed in the dark back corner of the single room he felt his solitude, so he had taken to sleeping in the alcove. he liked the narrow cot built out from the thick house wall of timbers, right under the window. he slept well there. but this night he did not.

before midnight, wakened by a cry, voices outside, he leapt up and went to the door. it was only alder struggling with nightmare, amid sleepy protests from the henhouse. alder shouted in the thick voice of dream and then woke, starting up in panic and distress. he begged his host's pardon and said he would sit up a while under the stars. sparrowhawk went back to bed. he was not wakened again by alder, but he had a bad dream of his own.

he was standing by a wall of stone near the top of a long hillside of dry grey grass that ran down from dimness into the dark. he knew he had been there before, had stood there before, but he did not know when, or what place it was. someone was standing on the other side of the wall, the downhill side, not far away. he could not see the face, only that it was a tall man, cloaked. he knew that he knew him. the man spoke to him, using his true name. he said, "you will soon be here, ged."

cold to the bone, he sat up, staring to see the space of the house about him, to draw its reality around him like a blanket. he looked out the window at the stars. the cold came into his heart then. they were not the stars of summer, beloved, familiar, the cart, the falcon, the dancers, the heart of the swan. they were other stars, the small, still stars of the dry land, that never rise or set. he had known their names, once, when he knew the names of things.

"avert!" he said aloud and made the gesture to turn away misfortune that he had learned when he was ten years old. his gaze went to the open doorway of the house, the corner behind the door, where he thought to see darkness taking shape, clotting together and rising up.

but his gesture, though it had no power, woke him. the shadows behind the door were only shadows. the stars out the window were the stars of earthsea, paling in the first reflection of the dawn.

he sat holding his sheepskin up round his shoulders, watching those stars fade as they dropped west, watching the growing brightness, the colors of light, the play and change of coming day. there was a grief in him, he did not know why, a pain and yearning as for something dear and lost, forever lost. he was used to that; he had held much dear, and lost much; but this sadness was so great it did not seem to be his own. he felt a sadness at the very heart of things, a grief even in the coming of the light. it clung to him from his dream, and stayed with him when he got up.

he lit a little fire in the big hearth and went to the peach trees and the henhouse to gather breakfast. alder came in from the path that ran north along the cliff top; he had gone for a walk at first light, he said. he looked jaded, and sparrowhawk was struck again by the sadness in his face, which echoed the deep aftermood of his own dream.

they had a cup of the warmed barley gruel the country people of gont drink, a boiled egg, a peach; they ate by the hearth, for the morning air in the shadow of the mountain was too cold for sitting outdoors. sparrowhawk looked after his livestock: fed the chickens, scattered grain for doves, let the goats into the pasture. when he came back they sat again on the bench in the dooryard. the sun was not over the mountain yet, but the air had grown dry and warm.

"now tell me what brings you here, alder. but since you came by roke, tell me first if things are well in the great house."

"i did not enter it, my lord."

"ah." a neutral tone but a sharp glance.

"i was only in the immanent grove."

"ah." a neutral tone, a neutral glance. "is the patterner well?"

"he told me, 'carry my love and honor to my lord and say to him: i wish we walked in the grove together as we used to do.'"

sparrowhawk smiled a little sadly. after a while he said, "so. but he sent you to me with more to say than that, i think."

"i will try to be brief."

"man, we have all day before us. and i like a story told from the beginning."

so alder told him his story from the beginning.

he was a witch's son, born in the town of elini on taon, the isle of the harpers.

taon is at the southern end of the sea of ea, not far from where solea lay before the sea whelmed it. that was the ancient heart of earthsea. all those islands had states and cities, kings and wizards, when havnor was a land of feuding tribesmen and gont a wilderness ruled by bears. people born on ea or ebea, enlad or taon, though they may be a ditchdigger's daughter or a witch's son, consider themselves to be descendants of the elder mages, sharing the lineage of the warriors who died in the dark years for queen elfarran. therefore they often have a fine courtesy of manner, though sometimes an undue haughtiness, and a generous, uncalculating turn of mind and speech, a way of soaring above mere fact and prose, which those whose minds stay close to merchandise distrust. "kites without strings," say the rich men of havnor of such people. but they do not say it in the hearing of the king, lebannen of the house of enlad.

the best harps in earthsea are made on taon, and there are schools of music there, and many famous singers of the lays and deeds were born or learned their art there. elini, however, is just a market town in the hills, with no music about it, alder said; and his mother was a poor woman, though not, as he put it, hungry poor. she had a birthmark, a red stain from the right eyebrow and ear clear down over her shoulder. many women and men with such a blemish or difference about them become witches or sorcerers perforce, "marked for it," people say. blackberry learned spells and could do the most ordinary kind of witchery; she had no real gift for it, but she had a way about her that was almost as good as the gift itself. she made a living, and trained her son as well as she could, and saved enough to prentice him to the sorcerer who gave him his true name.

of his father alder said nothing. he knew nothing. blackberry had never spoken of him. though seldom celibate, witches seldom kept company more than a night or two with any man, and it was a rare thing for a witch to marry a man. far more often two of them lived their lives together, and that was called witch marriage or she-troth. a witch's child, then, had a mother or two mothers, but no father. that went without saying, and sparrowhawk asked nothing on that score; but he asked about alder's training.

the sorcerer gannet had taught alder the few words he knew of the true speech, and some spells of finding and illusion, at which alder had shown, he said, no talent at all. but gannet took enough interest in the boy to discover his true gift. alder was a mender. he could rejoin. he could make whole. a broken tool, a knife blade or an axle snapped, a pottery bowl shattered: he could bring the fragments back together without joint or seam or weakness. so his master sent him about seeking various spells of mending, which he found mostly among witches of the island, and he worked with them and by himself to learn to mend.

"that is a kind of healing," sparrowhawk said. "no small gift, nor easy craft."

"it was a joy to me," alder said, with a shadow of a smile in his face. "working out the spells, and finding sometimes how to use one of the true words in the work... to put back together a barrel that's dried, the staves all fallen in from the hoops-that's a real pleasure, seeing it build up again, and swell out in the right curve, and stand there on its bottom ready for the wine...there was a harper from meoni, a great harper, oh, he played like a storm on the high hills, like a tempest on the sea. he was hard on the harp strings, twanging and pulling them in the passion of his art, so they'd break at the very height and flight of the music. and so he hired me to be there near him when he played, and when he broke a string i'd mend it quick as the note itself, and he'd play on."

sparrowhawk nodded with the warmth of a fellow professional talking shop. "have you mended glass?" he asked.

"i have, but it's a long, nasty job," alder said, "with all the tiny little bits and speckles glass goes to."

"but a big hole in the heel of a stocking can be worse," sparrowhawk said, and they discussed mending for a while longer, before alder returned to his story.

he had become a mender, then, a sorcerer with a modest practice and a local reputation for his gift. when he was about thirty, he went to the principal city of the island, meoni, with the harper, who was playing for a wedding there. a woman sought him out in their lodging, a young woman, not trained as a witch; but she had a gift, she said, the same as his, and wanted him to teach her. and indeed she had a greater gift than his. though she knew not a word of the old speech, she could put a smashed jug back together or mend a frayed-out rope just with the movements of her hands and a wordless song she sang under her breath, and she had healed broken limbs of animals and people, which alder had never dared try to do.

so rather than his teaching her, they put their skills together and taught each other more than either had ever known. she came back to elini and lived with alder's mother blackberry, who taught her various useful appearances and effects and ways of impressing customers, if not much actual witch knowledge. lily was her name; and lily and alder worked together there and in all the hill towns nearby, as their reputation grew.

"and i came to love her," alder said. his voice had changed when he began to speak of her, losing its hesitancy, growing urgent and musical.

"her hair was dark, but with a shining of red gold in it," he said.

there was no way he could hide his love from her, and she knew it and returned it. whether she was a witch now or not, she said she did not care; she said the two of them were born to be together, in their work and in their life; she loved him and would be married to him.

so they were married, and lived in very great happiness for a year, and half a second year.

"nothing was wrong at all until the time came for the child to be born," alder said. "but it was late, and then very late. the midwives tried to bring on the birth with herbs and spells, but it was as if the child would not let her bear it. it would not be separated from her. it would not be born. and it was not born. it took her with it."

after a while he said, "we had great joy."

"i see that."

"and my sorrow was in that degree."

the old man nodded.

"i could bear it," alder said. "you know how it is. there was not much reason to be living that i could see, but i could bear it."

"yes."

"but in the winter. two months after her death. there was a dream came to me. she was in the dream."

'tell it.

"i stood on a hillside. along the top of the hill and running down the slope was a wall, low, like a boundary wall between sheep pastures. she was standing across the wall from me, below it. it was darker there."

sparrowhawk nodded once. his face had gone rock hard.

"she was calling to me. i heard her voice saying my name, and i went to her. i knew she was dead, i knew it in the dream, but i was glad to go. i couldn't see her clear, and i went to her to see her, to be with her. and she reached out across the wall. it was no higher than my heart. i had thought she might have the child with her, but she did not. she was reaching her hands out to me, and so i reached out to her, and we took each others hands."

"you touched?"

"i wanted to go to her, but i could not cross the wall. my legs would not move. i tried to draw her to me, and she wanted to come, it seemed as if she could, but the wall was there between us. we couldn't get over it. so she leaned across to me and kissed my mouth and said my name. and she said, 'set me free!'

"i thought if i called her by her true name maybe i could free her, bring her across that wall, and i said, 'come with me, mevre!' but she said, 'that's not my name, hara, that's not my name any more.' and she let go my hands, though i tried to hold her. she cried, 'set me free, hara!' but she was going down into the dark. it was all dark down that hillside below the wall. i called her name and her use-name and all the dear names i had had for her, but she went on away. so then i woke."

sparrowhawk gazed long and keenly at his visitor. "you gave me your name, hara," he said.

alder looked a little stunned, and took a couple of long breaths, but he looked up with desolate courage. "who could i better trust it with?" he said.

sparrowhawk thanked him gravely. "i will try to deserve your trust," he said. "tell me, do you know what that place is-that wall?"

"i did not know it then. now i know you have crossed it."

"yes. i've been on that hill. and crossed the wall, by the power and art i used to have. and i've gone down to the cities of the dead, and spoken to men i had known living, and sometimes they answered me. but hara, you are the first man i ever knew or heard of, among all the great mages in the lore of roke or paln or the enlades, who ever touched, ho ever kissed his love across that wall."

alder sat with his head bowed and his hands clenched.

"will you tell me: what was her touch like? were her hands warm? was she cold air and shadow, or like a living woman? forgive my questions."

"i wish i could answer them, my lord. on roke the summoner asked the same. but i can't answer truly. my longing for her was so great, i wished so much-it could be i wished her to be as she was in life. but i don't know. in dream not all things are clear."

"in dream, no. but i never heard of any man coming to the wall in dream. it is a place a wizard may seek to come to, if he must, if he's learned the way and has the power. but without the knowledge and the power, only the dying can-"

and then he broke off, remembering his dream of the night before.

"i took it for a dream," alder said. "it troubled me, but i cherished it. it was like a harrow on my heart's ground to think of it, and yet i held to that pain, held it close to me. i wanted it. i hoped to dream again."

"did you?"

"yes. i dreamed again."

he looked unseeing into the blue gulf of air and ocean west of where they sat. low and faint across the tranquil sea lay the sunlit hills of kameber. behind them the sun was breaking bright over the mountains northern shoulder.

"it was nine days after the first dream. i was in that same place, but high up on the hill. i saw the wall below me across the slope. and i ran down the hill, calling out her name, sure of seeing her. there was someone there. but when i came close, i saw it wasn't lily. it was a man, and he was stooping at the wall, as if he was repairing it. i said to him, 'where is she, where is lily?' he didn't answer or look up. i saw what he was doing. he wasn't working to mend the wall but to unbuild it, prying with his fingers at a great stone. the stone never moved, and he said, 'help me, hara!' then i saw that it was my teacher, gannet, who named me. he has been dead these five years. he kept prying and straining at the stone with his fingers, and said my name again-'help me, set me free.' and he stood up and reached out to me across the wall, as she had done, and caught my hand. but his hand burned, with fire or with cold, i don't know, but the touch of it burned me so that i pulled away, and the pain and fear of it woke me from the dream."

he held his hand out as he spoke, showing a darkness on the back and palm like an old bruise.

"i've learned not to let them touch me," he said in a low voice.

ged looked at alder's mouth. there was a darkening across his lips too.

"hara, you've been in mortal danger," he said, also softly.

"there is more."

forcing his voice against silence, alder went on with his story.

the next night when he slept again he found himself on that dim hill and saw the wall that dropped down from the hilltop across the slope. he went down towards it, hoping to find his wife there. "i didn't care if she couldn't cross it, if i couldn't, so long as i could see her and talk to her," he said. but if she was there he never saw her among all the others: for as he came closer to the wall he saw a crowd of shadowy people on the other side, some clear and some dim, some he seemed to know and others he did not know, and all of them reached out their hands to him as he approached and called him by his name: "hara! let us come with you! hara, set us free!"

"it's a terrible thing to hear one's true name called by strangers," alder said, "and it's a terrible thing to be called by the dead."

he tried to turn and climb back up the hill, away from the wall; but his legs had the awful weakness of dream and would not carry him. he fell to his knees to keep himself from being drawn down to the wall, and called out for help, though there was no one to help him; and so he woke in terror.

since then, every night that he slept deeply, he found himself standing on the hill in the dry grey grass above the wall, and the dead would crowd thick and shadowy below it, pleading and crying to him, calling his name.

"i wake," he said, "and i'm in my own room. i'm not there, on that hillside. but i know they are. and i have to sleep. i try to wake often, and to sleep in daylight when i can, but i have to sleep at last. and then i am there, and they are there. and i can't go up the hill. if i move it's always downhill, towards the wall. sometimes i can turn my back to them, but then i think i hear lily among them, crying to me. and i turn to look for her. and they reach out to me."

he looked down at his hands gripping each other.

"what am i to do?" he said.

sparrowhawk said nothing.

after a long time alder said, "the harper i told you of was a good friend to me. after a while he saw there was something amiss, and when i told him that i couldn't sleep for fear of my dreams of the dead, he urged me arid helped me to take ship's passage to ea, to speak to a grey wizard there." he meant a man trained in the school on roke. "as soon as that wizard heard what my dreams were he said i must go to roke."

"what is his name?"

"beryl. he serves the prince of ea, who is lord of the isle of taon."

the old man nodded.

"he had no help to give me, he said, but his word was as good as gold to the ship's master. so i went on the water again. that was a long journey, coasting clear round havnor and down the inmost sea. i thought maybe being on the water, far from taon, always farther, i might leave the dream behind me. the wizard on ea called that place in my dream the dry land, and i thought maybe i'd be going away from it, going on the sea. but every night i was there on the hillside. and more than once in the night, as time went on. twice, or three times, or every time my eyes close, i'm on the hill, and the wall below me, and the voices calling me. so i'm like a man crazy with the pain of a wound who can find peace only in sleep, but the sleep is my torment, with the pain and anguish of the wretched dead all crowding at the wall, and my fear of them."

the sailors soon began to shun him, he said, at night because he cried out and woke them with his miserable wakenings, and in daylight because they thought there was a curse on him or a gebbeth in him.

"and no relief for you on roke?"

"in the grove," alder said, and his face changed entirely when he said the word.

sparrowhawk's face had the same look for a moment.

"the master patterner took me there, under those trees, and i could sleep. even at night i could sleep. in daylight, if the sun's on me-it was like that in the afternoon, yesterday, here-if the warmth of the sun's on me and the red of the sun shines through my eyelids, i don't fear to dream. but in the grove there was no fear at all, and i could love the night again."

"tell me how it was when you came to roke."

though hampered by weariness, anguish, and awe, alder had the silver tongue of his island; and what he left out for fear of going on too long or telling the archmage what he already knew, his listener could well imagine, remembering when he himself first came to the isle of the wise as a boy of fifteen.

when alder left the ship at the docks at thwil town, one of the sailors had drawn the rune of the closed door on the top of the gangplank to prevent his ever coming back aboard. alder noticed it, but he thought the sailor had good cause. he felt himself ill-omened; he felt he bore darkness in him. that made him shyer than he would have been in any case in a strange town. and thwil was a very strange town.

"the streets lead you awry," sparrowhawk said.

"they do that, my lord!-i'm sorry, my tongue will obey my heart, and not you-"

"never mind. i was used to it once. i can be lord goatherd again, if it eases your speech. go on."

misdirected by those he asked, or misunderstanding the directions, alder wandered about the hilly little labyrinth of thwil town with the school always in sight and never able to get to it, until, having reached despair, he came to a plain door in a bare wall on a dull square. after staring at it a while he recognised the wall was the one he had been trying to get to. he knocked, and a man with a quiet face and quiet eyes opened the door.

alder was ready to say that he had been sent by the wizard beryl of ea with a message for the master summoner, but he didn't have a chance to speak. the doorkeeper gazed at him a moment and said mildly, "you cannot bring them into this house, friend."

alder did not ask who it was he could not bring with him. he knew. he had slept scarcely at all the past nights, snatching fragments of sleep and waking in terror, dozing off in the daylight, seeing the dry grass sloping down through the sunlit deck of the ship, the wall of stones across the waves of the sea. and waking, the dream was in him, with him, around him, veiled, and he could hear, always, faintly, through all the noises of wind and sea, the voices that cried his name. he did not know if he was awake now or asleep. he was crazy with pain and fear and weariness.

"keep them out," he said, "and let me in, for pity's sake let me in!"

"wait here," the man said, as gently as before. "there's a bench," pointing. and he closed the door.

alder went and sat down on the stone bench. he remembered that, and he remembered some boys of fifteen or so looking curiously at him as they went by and entered that door, but what happened for some while after he could recall only in fragments.

the doorkeeper came back with a young man with the staff and cloak of a roke wizard. then alder was in a room, which he understood was in a lodging house. there the master summoner came and tried to talk with him. but alder by then was not able to talk. between sleep and waking, between the sunlit room and the dim grey hill, between the summoner's voice speaking to him and the voices calling him across the wall, he could not think and he could not move, in the living world. but in the dim world where the voices called, he thought it would be easy to walk on down those few steps to the wall and let the reaching hands take him and hold him. if he was one of them they would let him be, he thought.

then, as he remembered, the sunlit room was altogether gone, and he was on the grey hill. but with him stood the summoner of roke: a big, broad, dark-skinned man, with a great staff of yew wood that shimmered in the dim place.

the voices had ceased calling. the people, the crowding figures at the wall, were gone. he could hear a distant rustle and a kind of sobbing as they went down into the darkness, went away.

the summoner stepped to the wall and put his hands on it.

the stones had been loosened here and there. a few had fallen and lay on the dry grass. alder felt that he should pick them up and replace them, mend the wall, but he did not.

the summoner turned to him and asked, "who brought you here?"

"my wife, mevre."

"summon her here."

alder stood dumb. at last he opened his mouth, but it was not his wife's true name that he spoke but her use-name, the name he had called her in life. he said it aloud, "lily..." the sound of it was not like a white flower, but like a pebble dropping on dust.

no sound. stars shone small and steady in the black sky. alder had never looked up at the sky in this place before. he did not recognise the stars.

"mevre!" said the summoner, and in his deep voice spoke some words in the old speech.

alder felt the breath go out of him and could barely stand. but nothing stirred on the long slope that led down to formless dark.

then there was some movement, something lighter, coming up the hill, coming slowly nearer. alder shook with fear and yearning, and whispered, "oh my dear love."

but the figure as it came closer was too small to be lily. he saw it was a child of twelve or so, girl or boy he could not tell. it paid no heed to him or the summoner and never looked across the wall, but settled down just under it. when alder came closer and looked down he saw the child was prying and pulling at the stones, trying to loosen one, then another.

the summoner was whispering in the old speech. the child glanced up once indifferently and went on tugging at the stones with its thin fingers that seemed to have no strength in them.

this was so horrible to alder that his head spun; he tried to turn away, and beyond that he could remember nothing till he woke in the sunny room, lying in bed, weak and sick and cold.

people looked after him: the aloof, smiling woman who kept the lodging house, and a brown-skinned, stocky old man who came with the doorkeeper. alder took him for a physician-sorcerer. only after he had seen him with his staff of olive wood did he understand that he was the herbal, the master of healing of the school on roke.

his presence brought solace, and he was able to give alder sleep. he brewed up a tea and had alder drink it, and lighted some herb that burned slowly with a smell like the dark earth under pine woods, and sitting nearby began a long, soft chant. "but i must not sleep," alder protested, feeling sleep coming into him like a great dark tide. the healer laid his warm hand on alder's hand. then peace came into alder, and he slipped into sleep without fear. so long as the healer's hand was on his, or on his shoulder, it kept him from the dark hillside and the wall of stones.

he woke to eat a little, and soon the master herbal was there again with the tepid, insipid tea and the earth-smelling smoke and the dull untuneful chant and the touch of his hand; and alder could have rest.

the healer had all his duties at the school, so could be there only some hours of the night. alder got enough rest in three nights that he could eat and walk about the town a little in the day and think and talk coherently. on the fourth morning the three masters, the herbal, the doorkeeper, and the summoner, came to his room.

alder bowed to the summoner with dread, almost distrust, in his heart. the herbal was also a great mage, but his art was not altogether different from alder's own craft, so they had a kind of understanding; and there was the great kindness of his hand. the summoner, though, dealt not with bodily things but with the spirit, with the minds and wills of men, with ghosts, with meanings. his art was arcane, dangerous, full of risk and threat. and he had stood beside alder there, not in the body, on the boundary, at the wall. with him the darkness and the fear returned.

none of the three mages said anything at first. if they had one thing in common, it was a great capacity for silence.

so alder spoke, trying to say what was in his heart, for nothing less would do.

"if i did some wrong that brought me to that place, or brought my wife to me there, or the other souls, if i can mend or undo what i did, i will. but i don't know what it is i did."

"or what you are," the summoner said.

alder was mute.

"not many of us know who or what we are," said the doorkeeper. "a glimpse is all we get."

"tell us how you first went to the wall of stones," the summoner said.

and alder told them.

the mages listened in silence and said nothing for a while after he was done. then the summoner asked, "have you thought what it means to cross that wall?"

"i know i could not come back."

"only mages can cross the wall living, and only at utmost need. the herbal may go with a sufferer all the way to that wall, but if the sick man crosses it, he does not follow."

the summoner was so tall and broad-bodied and dark that, looking at him, alder thought of a bear.

"my art of summoning empowers us to call the dead back across the wall for a brief time, a moment, if there is need to do so. i myself question if any need could justify so great a breach in the law and balance of the world. i have never made that spell. nor have i crossed the wall. the archmage did, and the king with him, to heal the wound in the world the wizard called cob made."

"and when the archmage did not return, thorion, who was our summoner then, went down into the dry land to seek him," the herbal said. "he came back, but changed."

"there is no need to speak of that," the big man said.

"maybe there is," said the herbal. "maybe alder needs to know it. thorion trusted his strength too far, i think. he stayed there too long. he thought he could summon himself back into life, but what came back was only his skill, his power, his ambition-the will to live that gives no life. yet we trusted him, because we had loved him. so he devoured us. until irian destroyed him."

far from roke, on the isle of gont, alder's listener interrupted him-"what name was that?" sparrowhawk asked.

"irian, he said."

"do you know that name?"

"no, my lord."

"nor i." after a pause sparrowhawk went on softly, as if unwillingly. "but i saw thorion, there. in the dry land, where he had risked going to seek me. it grieved me to see him there. i said to him he might go back across the wall." his face went dark and grim. "that was ill spoken. all is spoken ill between the living and the dead. but i had loved him too."

they sat in silence. sparrowhawk got up abruptly to stretch his arms and rub his thighs. they both moved about a bit. alder got a drink of water from the well. sparrowhawk fetched out a garden spade and the new handle to fit to it, and set to work smoothing the oaken shaft and tapering the end that would go in the socket.

he said, "go on, alder," and alder went on with his story.

the two masters had been silent for a while after the herbal spoke about thorion. alder got up the courage to ask them about a matter that had been much on his mind: how those who died came to the wall, and how the mages came there.

the summoner answered promptly: "it is a spirit journey."

the old healer was more hesitant. "it's not in the body that we cross the wall, since the body of one who dies stays here. and if a mage goes there in vision, his sleeping body is still here, alive. and so we call that voyager... we call what makes that journey from the body, the soul, the spirit."

"but my wife took my hand," alder said. he could not say again to them that she had kissed his mouth. "i felt her touch."

"so it seemed to you," the summoner said.

"if they touched bodily, if a link was made," the herbal said to the summoner, "might that not be why the other dead can come to him, call to him, even touch him?"

"that is why he must resist them," said the summoner, with a glance at alder. his eyes were small, fiery.

alder felt it as an accusation, and not a fair one. he said, "i try to resist them, my lord. i have tried. but there are so many of them-and she's with them-and they're suffering, crying out to me."

"they cannot suffer," the summoner said. "death ends all suffering."

"maybe the shadow of pain is pain," said the herbal. "there are mountains in that land, and they are called paln."

the doorkeeper had scarcely spoken until now. he said in his quiet, easy voice, "alder is a mender, not a breaker. i don't think he can break that link."

"if he made it he can break it," the summoner said.

"did he make it?"

"i have no such art, my lord," alder said, so frightened by what they were saying that he spoke angrily.

"then i must go down among them," said the summoner.

"no, my friend," said the doorkeeper, and the old herbal said, "you last of us all."

"but this is my art."

"and ours."

"who then?"

the doorkeeper said, "it seems alder is our guide. having come to us for help, maybe he can help us. let us all go with him in his vision-to the wall, though not across it."

so that night, when late and fearfully alder let sleep overcome him, and found himself on the grey hill, the others were with him: the herbal, a warm presence in the chill; the doorkeeper, elusive and silvery as starlight; and the massive summoner, the bear, a dark strength.

this time they were standing not where the hill ran down into the dark, but on the near slope, looking up to the top. the wall in this place ran along the crest of the hill and was low, little more than knee height. above it the sky with its few small stars was perfectly black.

nothing moved.

it would be hard to walk uphill to the wall, alder thought. always before it had been below him.

but if he could go to it maybe lily would be there, as she had been the first time. maybe he could take her hand, and the mages would bring her back with him. or he could step over the wall where it was so low and come to her.

he began to walk up the hill. it was easy, it was no trouble, he was almost there. "hara!" the summoner's deep voice called him back like a noose round his neck, a jerked leash. he stumbled, staggered forward one step more, almost at the wall, dropped to his knees and reached out to the stones. he was crying, "save me!" but to whom? to the mages, or to the shadows beyond the wall?

then hands were on his shoulders, living hands, strong and warm, and he was in his room, with the healers hands indeed on his shoulders, and the werelight burning white around them. and there were four men in the room with him, not three.

the old herbal sat down on the bed with him and soothed him a while, for he was shaking, shuddering, sobbing. "i can't do it," he kept saying, but still he did not know if he was talking to the mages or to the dead.

when the fear and pain began to lessen, he felt tired beyond bearing, and looked almost without interest at the man who had come into the room. his eyes were the color of ice, his hair and skin were white. a far northerner, from enwas or bereswek, alder thought him.

this man said to the mages, "what are you doing, my friends?"

"taking risks, azver," said the old herbal.

"trouble at the border, patterner," said the summoner.

alder could feel the respect they had for this man, their relief that he was there, as they told him briefly what the trouble was.

"if he'll come with me, will you let him go?" the patterner asked when they were done, and turning to alder, "you need not fear your dreams in the immanent grove. and so we need not fear your dreams."

they all assented. the patterner nodded and vanished. he was not there.

he had not been there; he had been a sending, a presentment. it was the first time alder had seen the great powers of these masters made manifest, and it would have unnerved him if he had not been past amazement and fear.

he followed the doorkeeper out into the night, through the streets, past the walls of the school, across fields under a high round hill, and along a stream singing its water music softly in the darkness of its banks. ahead of them was a high wood, the trees crowned with grey starlight.

the master patterner came along the path to meet them, looking just as he had in the room. he and the doorkeeper spoke for a minute, and then alder followed the patterner into the grove.

"the trees are dark," alder said to sparrowhawk, "but it isn't dark under them. there is a light-a lightness there."

his listener nodded, smiling a little.

"as soon as i came there, i knew i could sleep. i felt as if i'd been asleep all along, in an evil dream, and now, here, i was truly awake: so i could truly sleep. there was a place he took me to, in among the roots of a huge tree, all soft with the fallen leaves of the tree, and he told me i could lie there. and i did, and i slept. i cannot tell you the sweetness of it."

the midday sun had grown strong; they went indoors, and the host set out bread and cheese and a bit of dried meat. alder looked round him as they ate. the house had only the one long room with its little western alcove, but it was large and darkly airy, strongly built, with wide boards and beams, a gleaming floor, a deep stone fireplace. "this is a noble house," alder said.

"an old one. they call it the old mage's house. not for me, nor for my master aihal who lived here, but for his master heleth, who with him stilled the great earthquake. it's a good house."

alder slept a while again under the trees with the sun shining on him through the moving leaves. his host rested too, but not long; when alder woke, there was a good-sized basket of the small golden plums under the tree, and sparrowhawk was up in the goat pasture mending a fence. alder went to help him, but the job was done. the goats, however, were long gone.

"neither of 'em's in milk," sparrowhawk grumbled as they returned to the house. "they've got nothing to do but find new ways through the fence. i keep them for exasperation... the first spell i ever learned was to call goats from wandering. my aunt taught me. it's no more use to me now than if i sang them a love song. i'd better go see if they've got into the widower's vegetables. you don't have the kind of sorcery to charm a goat to come, do you?"

the two brown nannies were indeed invading a cabbage patch on the outskirts of the village. alder repeated the spell sparrowhawk told him:

noth hierth malk man, hiolk ban merth ban!

the goats gazed at him with alert disdain and moved away a little. shouting and a stick got them out of the cabbages onto the path, and there sparrowhawk produced some plums from his pocket. promising, offering, and cajoling, he slowly led the truants back into their pasture.

"they're odd creatures," he said, latching the gate. "you never know where you are with a goat."

alder thought that he never knew where he was with his host, but did not say it.

when they were sitting in the shade again, sparrowhawk said, "the patterner isn't a northerner, he's a karg. like my wife. he was a warrior of karego-at. the only man i know of who ever came from those lands to roke. the kargs have no wizards. they distrust all sorcery. but they've kept more knowledge of the old powers of the earth than we have. this man, azver, when he was young, he heard some tale of the immanent grove, and it came to him that the center of all the earth's powers must be there. so he left his gods and his native tongue behind him and made his way to roke. he stood on our doorstep and said, 'teach me to live in that forest!' and we taught him, till he began to teach us... so he became our master patterner. he's not a gentle man, but he is to be trusted."

"i never could fear him," alder said. "it was easy to be with him. he'd take me far into the wood with him."

they were both silent, both thinking of the glades and aisles of that wood, the sunlight and starlight in its leaves.

"it is the heart of the world," alder said.

sparrowhawk looked up eastward at the slopes of gont mountain, dark with trees. "i'll go walking there," he said, "in the forest, come autumn."

after a while he said, "tell me what counsel the patterner had for you, and why he sent you here to me."

"he said, my lord, that you knew more of the... the dry land than any living man, and so maybe you would understand what it means that the souls there come to me as they do, begging me for freedom."

"did he say how he thinks it came about?"

"yes. he said that maybe my wife and i didn't know how to be parted, only how to be joined. that it was not my doing, but was maybe ours together, because we drew each to the other, like drops of quicksilver. but the master sum-moner didn't agree. he said that only a great power of magery could so transgress the order of the world. because my old master gannet also touched me across the wall, the summoner said maybe it was a mage power in him which had been hidden or disguised in life, but now was revealed."

sparrowhawk brooded a while. "when i lived on roke," he said, "i might have seen it as the summoner does. there i knew no power stronger than what we call magery. not even the old powers of the earth, i thought... if the summoner you met is the man i think, he came as a boy to roke. my old friend vetch of iffish sent him to study with us. and he never left. that's a difference between him and azver the patterner. azver lived till he was grown as a warrior's son, a warrior himself, among men and women, in the thick of life. matters that the walls of the school keep out, he knows in his flesh and blood. he knows that men and women love, make love, marry... having lived these fifteen years outside the walls, i incline to think azver might be on the better track. the bond between you and your wife is stronger than the division between life and death."

alder hesitated. "i've thought it might be so. but it seems... shameless to think it. we loved each other, more than i can say we loved each other, but was our love greater than any other before us? was it greater than morred's and elfarran's?"

"maybe not less."

"how can that be?"

sparrowhawk looked at him as if saluting something, and answered him with a care that made alder feel honored. "well," he said slowly, "sometimes there's a passion that comes in its springtime to ill fate or death. and because it ends in its beauty, it's what the harpers sing of and the poets make stories of: the love that escapes the years. that was the love of the young king and elfarran. that was your love, hara. it wasn't greater than morred's, but was his greater than yours?"

alder said nothing, pondering.

"there's no less or greater in an absolute thing," sparrowhawk said. "all or nothing at all, the true lover says, and that's the truth of it. my love will never die, he says. he claims eternity. and rightly. how can it die when it's life itself? what do we know of eternity but the glimpse we get of it when we enter in that bond?"

he spoke softly but with fire and energy, then he leaned back, and after a minute said, with a half smile, "every oaf of a farm boy sings that, every young girl that dreams of love knows it. but it's not a thing the masters of roke are familiar with. the patterner maybe knew it early. i learned it late. very late. not quite too late." he looked at alder, the fire still in his eyes, challenging. "you had that," he said.

"i did." alder drew a deep breath. presently he said, "maybe they're there together, in the dark land. morred and elfarran."

"no," sparrowhawk said with bleak certainty.

"but if the bond is true, what can break it?"

"there are no lovers there."

"then what are they, what do they do, there in that land? you've been there, you crossed the wall. you walked and spoke with them. tell me!"

"i will." but sparrowhawk said nothing for a while. "i don't like to think about it," he said. he rubbed his head and scowled. "you saw...you've seen those stars. little, mean stars, that never move. no moon. no sunrise... there are roads, if you go down the hill. roads and cities. on the hill there's grass, dead grass, but farther down there's only dust and rocks. nothing grows. dark cities. the multitudes of the dead stand in the streets, or walk on the roads to no end. they don't speak. they don't touch. they never touch." his voice was low and dry. "there morred would pass elfarran and never turn his head, and she wouldn't look at him... there's no rejoining there, hara. no bond. the mother doesn't hold her child, there."

"but my wife came to me," alder said, "she called my name, she kissed my mouth!"

"yes. and since your love wasn't greater than any other mortal love, and since you and she aren't mighty wizards whose power might change the laws of life and death, therefore, therefore something else is in this. something is happening, is changing. though it happens through you and to you, you are its instrument and not its cause."

sparrowhawk stood up and strode to the beginning of the path along the cliff and back to alder; he was charged, almost quivering with tense energy, like a hawk about to stoop down on its prey.

"did your wife not say to you, when you called her by her true name, that is not my name any more-?"

"yes," alder whispered.

"but how is that? we who have true names keep them when we die, it's our use-name that is forgotten... this is a mystery to the learned, i can tell you, but as well as we understand it, a true name is a word in the true speech. that's why only one with the gift can know a child's name and give it. and the name binds the being-alive or dead. all the art of the summoner lies in that... yet when the master summoned your wife to come by her true name, she didn't come to him. you called by her use-name, lily, and she came to you. did she come to you as to the one who knew her truly?"

he gazed at alder keenly and yet as if he saw more than the man who sat with him. after a while he went on, "when my master aihal died, my wife was here with him; and as he was dying he said to her, all is changed, all changed. he was looking across that wall. from which side i do not know.

"and since that time, indeed there have been changes-a king on morred's throne, and no archmage of roke. but more than that, much more. i saw a child summon the dragon kalessin, the eldest: and kalessin came to her, calling her daughter, as i do. what does that mean? what does it mean that dragons have been seen above the islands of the west? the king sent to us, sent a ship to gont port, asking my daughter tehanu to come and take counsel with him concerning dragons. people fear that the old covenant is broken, that the dragons will come to burn fields and cities as they did before erreth-akbe fought with orm embar. and now, at the boundary of life and death, a soul refuses the bond of her name... i do not understand it. all i know is that it is changing. it is all changing."

there was no fear in his voice, only fierce exultation.

alder could not share that. he had lost too much and was too worn out by his struggle against forces he could not control or comprehend. but his heart rose to that gallantry.

"may it change for the good, my lord," he said.

"be it so," the old man said. "but change it must."

as the heat went out of the day, sparrowhawk said he had to walk to the village. he carried the basket of plums with a basket of eggs nested in it.

alder walked with him and they talked. when alder understood that sparrowhawk bartered fruit and eggs and the other produce of the little farm for barley and wheat flour, that the wood he burned was gathered patiently up in the forest, that his goats' not giving milk meant he must eke out last year's cheese, alder was amazed: how could it be that the archmage of earthsea lived from hand to mouth? did his own people not honor him?

when he went with him to the village, he saw women shut their doors when they saw the old man coming. the marketer who took his eggs and fruit tallied the count on his wooden tablet without a word, his face sullen and his eyes lowered. sparrowhawk spoke to him pleasantly, "a good day to you then, iddi," but got no answer.

"my lord," alder asked as they walked home, "do they know who you are?"

"no," said the ex-archmage, with a dry sidelong look. "and yes."

"but-" alder did not know how to speak his indignation.

"they know i have no power of sorcery, but there's something uncanny about me. they know i live with a foreigner, a kargish woman. they know the girl we call our daughter is something like a witch, but worse, because her face and hand were burnt away by fire, and because she herself burnt up the lord of re albi, or pushed him off the cliff, or killed him with the evil eye-their stories vary. they honor the house we live in, though, because it was aihal's and heleth's house, and dead wizards are good wizards... you're a townsman, alder, of an isle of morred's kingdom. a village on gont is another matter."

"but why do you stay here, lord? surely the king would do you proper honor-"

"i want no honor," the old man said, with a violence that silenced alder entirely.

they walked on. as they came to the house built at the cliff's edge he spoke again. "this is my eyrie," he said.

they had a glass of the red wine with supper, and another sitting out to watch the sun set. they did not talk much. fear of the night, of the dream, was coming into alder.

"i'm no healer," his host said, "but perhaps i can do what the master herbal did to let you sleep."

alder looked his question.

"i've been thinking about it, and it seems to me maybe it was no spell at all that kept you away from that hillside, but just the touch of a living hand. if you like, we can try it."

alder protested, but sparrowhawk said, "i'm awake hah0 most nights anyway." so the guest lay that night in the low bed in the back corner of the big room, and the host sat up beside him, watching the fire and dozing.

he watched alder, too, and saw him fall asleep at last; and not long after that saw him start and shudder in his sleep. he put out his hand and laid it on alder's shoulder as he lay half turned away. the sleeping man stirred a little, sighed, relaxed, and slept on.

it pleased sparrowhawk that he could do this much. as good as a wizard, he told himself with mild sarcasm.

he was not sleepy, the tension was still in him. he thought about all alder had told him, and what they had talked about in the afternoon. he saw alder stand in the path by the cabbage patch saying the spell to call the goats, and the goats' haughty indifference to the powerless words. he remembered how he had used to speak the name of the sparrowhawk, the marsh hawk, the grey eagle, calling them down from the sky to him in a rush of wings to grasp his arm with iron talons and glare at him, eye to wrathful, golden eye... none of that any more. he could boast, calling this house his eyrie, but he had no wings.

but tehanu did. the dragon's wings were hers to fly on.

the fire had burned out. he pulled his sheepskin over him more closely, leaning his head back against the wall, still keeping his hand on alder's inert, warm shoulder. he liked the man and was sorry for him.

he must remember to ask him to mend the green pitcher, tomorrow.

the grass next to the wall was short, dry, dead. no wind blew to make it move or rustle.

he roused up with a start, hah0 rising from the chair, and after a moment of bewilderment put his hand back on alder's shoulder, grasping it a little, and whispered, "hara! come away, hara." alder shuddered, then relaxed. he sighed again, turned more onto his face and lay still.

sparrowhawk sat with his hand on the sleeper's arm. how had he himself come there, to the wall of stones? he no longer had the power to go there. he had no way to find the way. as in the night before, alder's dream or vision, alder's voyaging soul had drawn him with it to the edge of the dark land.

he was wide awake now. he sat gazing at the greyish square of the west window, full of stars.

the grass under the wall... it did not grow farther down where the hill leveled out into the dim, dry land. he had said to alder that down there was only dust, only rock. he saw that black dust, black rock. dead stream beds where no water ever ran. no living thing. no bird, no field mouse cowering, no glitter and buzz of little insects, the creatures of the sun. only the dead, with their empty eyes and silent faces.

but did birds not die?

a mouse, a gnat, a goat-a white-and-brown, clever-hoofed, yellow-eyed, shameless goat, sippy who had been tehanu's pet, and who had died last winter at a great age-where was sippy? not in the dry land, the dark land. she was dead, but she was not there. she was where she belonged, in the dirt. in the dirt, in the light, in the wind, the leap of water from the rock, the yellow eye of the sun.

then why, then why...

he watched alder mend the pitcher. fat-bellied and jade green, it had been a favorite of tenar's; she had carried it all the way from oak farm, years ago. it had slipped from his hands the other day as he took it from the shelf. he had picked up the two big pieces of it and the little fragments with some notion of gluing them back together so it could sit out for looks, if never for use again. every time he saw the pieces, which he had put into a basket, his clumsiness had outraged him.

now, fascinated, he watched alder's hands. slender, strong, deft, unhurried, they cradled the shape of the pitcher, stroking and fitting and settling the pieces of pottery, urging and caressing, the thumbs coaxing and guiding the smaller fragments into place, reuniting them, reassuring them. while he worked he murmured a two-word, tuneless chant. they were words of the old speech. ged knew and did not know their meaning. alder's face was serene, all stress and sorrow gone: a face so wholly absorbed in time and task that timeless calm shone through it.

his hands separated from the pitcher, opening out from it like the sheath of a flower opening. it stood on the oak table, whole.

he looked at it with quiet pleasure.

when ged thanked him, he said, "it was no trouble at all. the breaks were very clean. it's a well-made piece, and good clay. it's the shoddy work that costs to mend."

"i had a thought how you might find sleep," ged said.

alder had waked at first light and had got up, so that his host could go to his bed and sleep sound till broad day; but clearly the arrangement would not do for long.

"come along with me," the old man said, and they set off inland on a path that skirted the goats' pasture and wound between knolls, little, half-tended fields, and inlets of the forest. gont was a wild-looking place to alder, ragged and random, the shaggy mountain always frowning and looming above.

"it seemed to me," sparrowhawk said as they walked, "if i could do as well as the master herbal did, keeping you from the hill of the wall only by putting my hand on you, that there might be others who could help you. if you have no objection to animals."

"animals?"

"you see," sparrowhawk began, but got no further, interrupted by a strange creature bounding down the path towards them. it was bundled in skirts and shawls, feathers stuck out in all directions from its head, and it wore high leather boots. "o mastawk, o mastawk!" it shouted.

"hello, then, heather. gently now," said sparrowhawk. the woman stopped, rocking her body, her head-feathers waving, a large grin on her face. "she knowed you was a-coming!" she bawled. "she made that hawk's beak with her fingers like this, see, she did, and she told me go, go, with her hand! she knowed you was a-coming!"

"and so i am."

"to see us?"

"to see you. heather, this is master alder."

"master alder," she whispered, quieting suddenly as she included alder in her consciousness. she shrank, drew into herself, looked down at her feet.

she had no leather boots on. her bare legs were coated from the knee down with smooth, brown, drying mud. her skirts were bunched, caught up into the waistband.

"you've been frogging, have you, heather?"

she nodded vacantly.

"i'll go tell aunty," she said, beginning in a whisper and ending with a bellow, and bolted back the way she had come.

"she's a good soul," sparrowhawk said. "she used to help my wife. she lives with our witch now and helps her. i don't think you'll object to entering a witch's house?"

"never in the world, my lord."

"many do. nobles and common folk, wizards and sorcerers."

"lily my wife was a witch."

sparrowhawk bowed his head and walked in silence for a while. "how did she learn of her gift, alder?"

"it was born in her. as a child she'd make a torn branch grow on the tree again, and other children brought her their broken toys to mend. but when her father saw her do that he would strike her hands. her family were considerable persons in their town. respectable persons," alder said in his even, gentle voice. "they didn't want her consorting with witches. since it would keep her from marriage with a respectable man. so she kept all her study to herself. and the witches of her town would have nothing to do with her, even when she sought to learn from them, for they were afraid of her father, you see. then a rich man came to court her, for she was beautiful, as i told you, my lord. more beautiful than i could say. and her father told her she was to be married. she ran away that night. she lived by herself, wandering, for some years. a witch here and there took her in, but she kept herself by her skill."

"it's not a big island, taon."

"her father wouldn't seek her. he said no tinker witch was his daughter."

again sparrowhawk bowed his head. "so she heard of you, and came to you."

"but she taught me more than i could teach her," alder said earnestly. "it was a great gift she had."

"i believe it."

they had come to a little house or big hut, set down in a dell, with witch hazel and broom in tangles about it, and a goat on the roof, and a flock of white-speckled black hens squawking away, and a lazy little sheepdog bitch standing up and thinking about barking and thinking better of it and waving her tail.

sparrowhawk went to the low doorway, stooping to look in. "there you are, aunty!" he said. "i've brought you a visitor. alder, a man of sorcery from the-isle of taon. his craft is mending, and he's a master, i can tell you, for i just watched him put back together tenar's green pitcher, you know the one, that i like a clumsy old fool dropped and broke to pieces the other day."

he entered the hut, and alder followed him. an old woman sat in a cushioned chair near the doorway where she could look out into the sunlight. feathers stuck out of her wispy white hair. a speckled hen was settled in her lap. she smiled at sparrowhawk with enchanting sweetness and nodded politely to the visitor. the hen woke, cackled, and departed.

"this is moss," said sparrowhawk, "a witch of many skills, the greatest of which is kindness."

so, alder imagined, might the archmage of roke have introduced a great wizard to a great lady. he bowed. the old woman ducked her head and laughed a little.

she made a circling motion with her left hand, looking a query at sparrowhawk.

"tenar? tehanu?" he said. "still in havnor with the king, so far as i know. they'll be having a fine time there, seeing all the sights of the great city and the palaces."

"i made us crowns," heather shouted, bouncing out of the odorous, dark jumble farther inside the house. "like kings and queens. see?" she preened the chicken feathers that stuck out of her thick hair at all angles. aunty moss, becoming aware of her own peculiar headdress, batted ineffectively at the feathers with her left hand and grimaced.

"crowns are heavy," sparrowhawk said. he gently plucked the feathers from the thin hair.

"who's the queen, mastawk?" heather cried. "who's the queen? bannen's the king, who's the queen?"

"king lebannen has no queen, heather."

"why not? he ought to. why not?"

"maybe he's looking for her."

"he'll marry tehanu!" the woman shrieked, joyful. "he will!"

alder saw sparrowhawk's face change, close, become rock.

he said only, "i doubt it." he held the feathers he had taken from moss's hair and stroked them softly. "i've come to you for a favor, as always, aunty moss," he said.

she reached her good hand out and took his hand with such tenderness that alder was moved to the heart.

"i want to borrow one of your puppies."

moss began to look sad. heather, gawking beside her, puzzled it over for a minute and then shouted, "the puppies! aunty moss, the puppies! but they're all gone!"

the old woman nodded, looking forlorn, caressing sparrowhawk's brown hand.

"somebody wanted them?"

"the biggest one got out and maybe it ran up in the forest and some creature killed it for it never came back and then old ramballs, he came and said he needs sheepdogs and he'd take both and train them and aunty gave them to him because they chased the new chicks snowflakes hatched and ate out house and home, they did, besides."

"well, rambles may have a bit of a job training them," sparrowhawk said with a half smile. "i'm glad he's got them but sorry they're gone, since i wanted to borrow one for a night or two. they slept on your bed, didn't they, moss?"

she nodded, still sad. then, brightening a little, she looked up with her head to one side and mewed.

sparrowhawk blinked, but heather understood, "oh! the kittens!" she shouted. "little grey had four, and old black he killed one before we could stop him, but there's still two or three somewhere round here, they sleep with aunty and biddy most every night now the little dogs are gone. kitty! kitty! kitty! where are you, kitty, kitty?" and after a good deal of commotion and scrambling and piercing mews in the dark interior, she reappeared with a grey kitten clutched squirming and squealing in her hand. "here's one!" she shouted, and threw it at sparrowhawk. he caught it awkwardly. it instantly bit him.

"there, there now," he told it. "calm down." a tiny, rumbling growl emerged from it, and it tried to bite him again. moss gestured, and he set the little creature down in her lap. she stroked it with her slow heavy hand. it flattened out at once, stretched, looked up at her, and purred.

"may i borrow it for a while?"

the old witch raised her hand from the kitten in a royal gesture that said clearly: it is yours and welcome.

"master alder here is having troublesome dreams, you see, and i thought maybe having an animal with him nights might help to ease the trouble."

moss nodded gravely and, looking up at alder, slipped her hand under the kitten and lifted it towards him. alder took it rather gingerly into his hands. it did not growl or bite. it scrambled up his arm and clung to his neck under his hair, which he wore loosely gathered at the nape.

as they walked back to the old mage's house, the kitten tucked inside alder's shirt, sparrowhawk explained. "once, when i was new to the art, i was asked to heal a child with the redfever. i knew the boy was dying, but i couldn't bring myself to let him go. i tried to follow him. to bring him back. across the wall of stones... and so, here in the body, i fell down by the bedside and lay like the dead myself.

there was a witch there who guessed what the matter was, and she had me taken to my house and laid abed there. and in my house was an animal that had befriended me when i was a boy on roke, a wild creature that came to me of its own will and stayed with me. an otak. do you know them? i think there are none in the north."

alder hesitated. he said, "i know of them only from the deed that tells of how... how the mage came to the court of the terrenon in osskil. and the otak tried to warn him of a gebbeth that walked with him. and he won free of the gebbeth, but the little animal was caught and slain."

sparrowhawk walked on without speaking for twenty paces or so. "yes," he said. "so. well, my otak also saved my life when i was caught by my own folly on the wrong side of the wall, my body lying here and my soul astray there. the otak came to me and washed me, the way they wash themselves and their young, the way cats do, with a dry tongue, patiently, touching me and bringing me back with its touch, bringing me back into my body. and the gift the animal gave me was not only life but a knowledge as great as i ever learned on roke... but you see, i forget all my learning.

"a knowledge, i say, but it's rather a mystery. what's the difference between us and the animals? speech? all the animals have some way of speaking, saying come and beware and much else; but they can't tell stories, and they can't tell lies. while we can...

"but the dragons speak: they speak the true speech, the language of the making, in which there are no lies, in which to tell the story is to make it be! yet we call the dragons animals..

"so maybe the difference isn't language. maybe it's this: animals do neither good nor evil. they do as they must do. we may call what they do harmful or useful, but good and evil belong to us, who chose to choose what we do. the dragons are dangerous, yes. they can do harm, yes. but they're not evil. they're beneath our morality, if you will, like any animal. or beyond it. they have nothing to do with it.

"we must choose and choose again. the animals need only be and do. we're yoked, and they're free. so to be with an animal is to know a little freedom...

"last night, i was thinking of how witches often have a companion, a familiar. my aunt had an old dog that never barked. she called him gobefore. and the archmage nemmerle, when i first came to roke island, had a raven that went with him everywhere. and i thought of a young woman i knew once who wore a little dragon-lizard, a harekki, for her bracelet. and so at last i thought of my otak. then i thought, if what alder needs to keep him on this side of the wall is the warmth of a touch, why not an animal? since they see life, not death. maybe a dog or cat is as good as a master of roke..."

so it proved. the kitten, evidently happy to be away from the household of dogs and tomcats and roosters and the unpredictable heather, tried hard to show that it was a reliable and diligent cat, patrolling the house for mice, riding on alder's shoulder under his hair when permitted, and settling right down to sleep purring under his chin as soon as he lay down. alder slept all night without any dream he remembered, and woke to find the kitten sitting on his chest, washing its ears with an air of quiet virtue.

when sparrowhawk tried to determine its sex, however, it growled and struggled. "all right," he said, getting his hand out of danger quickly. "have it your way. it's either a male or a female, alder, i'm certain of that."

"i won't name it, in any case," alder said. "they go out like candle flames, little cats. if you've named one you grieve more for it."

that day at alder's suggestion they went fence mending, walking the goat-pasture fence, sparrowhawk on the inside and alder on the outside. whenever one of them found a place where the palings showed the beginning of rot or the tie laths had been weakened, alder would run his hands along the wood, thumbing and tugging and smoothing and strengthening, a half- articulate chant almost inaudible in his throat and chest, his face relaxed and intent.

once sparrowhawk, watching him, murmured, "and i used to take it all for granted!"

alder, lost in his work, did not ask him what he meant.

"there," he said, "that'll hold." and they moved on, followed closely by the two inquisitive goats, who butted and pushed at the repaired sections offence as if to test them.

"i've been thinking," sparrowhawk said, "that you might do well to go to havnor."

alder looked at him in alarm. "ah," he said. "i thought maybe, if i have a way now to keep away from... that place... i could go home to taon." he was losing faith in what he said as he said it.

"you might, but i don't think it would be wise."

alder said reluctantly, "it is a great deal to ask of a kitten, to defend a man against the armies of the dead."

"it is."

"but i-what should i do in havnor?" and, with sudden hope, "would you go with me?"

sparrowhawk shook his head once. "i stay here."

"the lord patterner..."

"sent you to me. and i send you to those who should hear your tale and find out what it means... i tell you, alder, i think in his heart the patterner believes i am what i was. he believes i'm merely hiding here in the forests of gont and will come forth when the need is greatest." the old man looked down at his sweaty, patched clothes and dusty shoes, and laughed. "in all my glory," he said.

"beh," said the brown goat behind him.

"but all the same, alder, he was right to send you here, since she'd have been here, if she hadn't gone to havnor."

"the lady tenar?"

"hama gondun. so the patterner himself called her," sparrowhawk said, looking across the fence at alder, his eyes unfathomable. "a woman on gont. the woman of gont. tehanu."