one of the odd things about human beings is, that wherever they happen to live they accept it as a matter of course. in various foreign cities i have often been amused (as every traveller has) to see people going about their affairs just as though it were natural and unquestionable for them to be there. it is just the same at home. everyone i see on the streets seems to be not at all amazed at living here instead of (let us say) indianapolis or nashville. i envy my small urchin his sense of the extreme improbability of everything. when he gets on a trolley car he draws a long breath and looks around in ecstasy at the human scenery. i am teaching him to say in a loud, clear tone, as he gets on the car, “look at all the human beings!” in the same accent of amazement that he uses when he goes to the zoo. perhaps in this way he will preserve the happy faculty of being surprised.
it is an agreeable thing to keep the same sense of surprise in one's home town that one would have in a strange city. you will find much to startle you if you keep your eyes open. yesterday, for instance, i was lucky enough to meet a gentleman who had stood only a few feet away from lincoln when he[pg 119] made the gettysburg speech. then i found that in a certain cafeteria which i frequent the price you pay for your lunch is always just one cent less than that punched on the check. the cashier explained that this always gives a pleasant surprise to the customers, and has proved such a good advertising dodge that the proprietor made it a habit. and i saw, in a clothing dealer's window on ninth street, some fuzzy caps for men, mottled purple and ochre, that proved that the adventurous spirit has not died in the breast of the male sex.
there is much to exercise the eye in a voyage along ridge avenue. approaching by way of ninth street, one sees in the window of a barber shop the new contract that the employing barbers have drawn up with their journeymen. this agreement shows a sound sense of human equities, proclaiming as it does that “the owner must not do no act to injure the barber personal earnings.” it suddenly occurred to me, what i had not thought of before, how the barbers of great britain must have grieved when a london newspaper got up (some years ago) an agitation in favour of every man in england raising a beard in memory of king edward. the plan was that the money thus saved was to be devoted to building—i had almost said “growing”—a battleship, to be named after the merry monarch. of course, one should not speak of raising a beard, but of lowering it. however—[pg 120]—
ridge avenue begins at ninth and vine, in a mood of depression. perhaps the fact that it runs out toward the city's greatest collection of cemeteries has made it morbidly conscious of human perishability. at any rate, it starts among pawnshops, old clothing and furniture, and bottles of old virginia bitters, the great man restorer. the famous national theatre at callowhill street has become a garage; it is queer to see the old proscenium arch and gilded ceiling dustily vaulted over a fleet of motortrucks. after a wilderness of railway yards one comes to a curious bit in the 1100 block; a little brick tunnel that bends around into a huddle of backyards and small houses, where a large green parrot was stooping and nodding on a pile of old boxes. this little scene is overlooked by the tall brown spires of the church of the assumption on spring garden street.
there is matter for tarrying at the spring garden street crossing. here is an ambitious fountain built by the bequest of mary rebecca darby smith, with the carving by j. j. boyle picturing another rebecca (she of genesis xxiv, 14) giving a drink to abraham's servant and his camels. it is carved in the bronze that the donor gave the fountain “to refresh the weary and thirsty, both man and beast,” so it is disconcerting to find it dry, as dry as the inns along the way. the horse trough is boarded over and thirsting equines go up to broad street for a draught.[pg 121] the seat by the fountain was occupied by a man reading the new york journal, always a depressing sight.
across from the fountain is one of the best magazine and stationery shops in the city. here i overheard a conversation which i reproduce textually. “what you doing, reading?” said one to another. “yes, reading about the biggest four-flusher in the yew-nited states,” said he, looking over an afternoon paper which had just come in. “who do you mean?” “penrose. say if it was a republican in the white house, theyda passed the treaty long ago.” the proprietor of this shop is a humorist. someone came in asking for a certain brand of cigarettes. he does not sell tobacco. “next door,” he said, and added: “and you'll find some over on the fountain.”
ridge avenue specializes in tobacco shops, where you will find many brands that require a strong head. red snapper, panhandle scrap, pinch hit, red horse, brown's mule, jolly tar, penn statue cuttings, nickel cross cut, cotton ball twist. in the shop windows you will see those photographs illustrating current events, the two favourites just now being a picture of mike gilhooley, the famous stowaway, gazing plaintively at the profile of new york, and “jack dempsey goes the limit,” where jack signs up for a $1,000 war-savings certificate. one wonders if jack's kind of warfare is really so profitable after all.[pg 122]
there are a number of little side excursions from the avenue that repay scrutiny. lemon street, for instance, where in a lane of old brown wooden houses some children were playing in an empty wagon, with the rounded tower of the rodef shalom synagogue looming in the background. best of all is melon street and its modest tributary, park avenue—stretches of quiet little brick homes with green and yellow shutters and mottled gray marble steps. these little houses have the serene and sunny air so typical of philadelphia byways. through their narrow side entrances one sees glimpses of green in backyards. in the front windows move the gently swaying faces of grandmothers, lulled in the to and fro of a rocking chair. there are shining brass knobs and bell-pulls; rubber plants on the sills, or perhaps a small bowl of goldfish with a white china swan floating. in one window was a sign “vacancies.” over it hung a faded service flag with a golden star. who could phrase the pathos of these two things, side by side?
at broad street, ridge avenue leaps up with a spurt of high life. in the window of a hotel dining room a gentleman sat eating his lunch, stevedoring a buttered roll with such gusto that one felt tempted to applaud. there are the white pillars of a bank and the battleship gray of the salvation army headquarters. beyond broad, the avenue spruces up a bit and enters upon a vivacious phase. dogs are[pg 123] frequent: white bull terriers lie sunning in the shop windows. offers to lend money are enticing. there is a fascinating slate yard at 1525, where great gray slabs lie in the sun, a temptation to urchins with a bit of chalk. in the warm bask of the afternoon there rises a pleasing aroma of fruits and vegetables piled up in baskets and crates on the pavement. grapes give off a delectable savour in the golden air. elderly ladies are out in force to do the marketing, and their eyes are bright with the bargaining passion. round the windows of a ten-cent store, most fascinating of all human spectacles, they congregate and compare notes. a fruit dealer has an ingenious stunt to attract attention. on his cash register lies a weird-looking rotund little fish—a butter fish, he calls it—which has a face not unlike that of fatty arbuckle. either this fish inflates itself or he has blown it full of air in some ingenious manner, for it presents a grotesque appearance, and many ladies stop to inquire. then he spoofs them gently. “sure,” he says, “it's a jitney fish. it lives on the cash register. it can fly, it can bite, it can talk, and it likes money.”
at the corner of wylie street stands an old gray house with a mansard roof and gable windows. against it is a vivid store of fruit glowing in the sun, red and purple and yellow. here, or on vineyard street, one turns off to enter the quaint triangular settlement of francisville.
