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CHAP. X. The Hodge-Podge.

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i did not keep the rod any longer in one place; but moved it here and there without distinction: and i heard only broken discourses, such as these:

“war, taxes, misery, are dreaded; insignificant fears all these: alas! mine are very different. i have here framed a system upon earthquakes; and, by calculation, i find that near the center of the globe there is now forming an internal fire that will turn the world upside down. within six months the earth will burst like a bomb, and all nature.... yes! all nature vanishes in my eyes; thou alone dost 52exist for me: extinguish, my dear, extinguish the flame thou has lighted in my bosom. what a moment! pleasure drowns all my senses: my soul, penetrated with delight, seems to be upon the wing: she beats, she trembles, she flies: o receive her, my dear, she is wholly thine. ah! i hear my husband’s footsteps; let us run.... courage, brave soldiers! strike home; revenge your country; let the blood flow, and give no quarter. may the islanders perish and the babylonians live!... i do aver, for my part that of all the nations there is not one so gay as the babylonians. they always take things on the most smiling side. one day of prosperity makes them forget a whole year of adversity. even at their own misery, they all 53sing; and an epigram pays them for their losses caused by the follies of the great.... o how little are our great ones! and how foolish are our wise ones! i cannot help thinking man an imperfect creature. i plainly see nature’s efforts to make him reasonable; but i see too these efforts are fruitless. materials are wanting. there are but two ages: the age of weakness in which we are born and pass two thirds of life; and the age of infancy in which we grow old and die. i have indeed heard talk of an age of reason; but i do not see it come. i conclude therefore, and i say.... yes! madam! of transparent cotton. the discovery was very lately made in terra australis: so no more colds and defluxions. transparent handkerchiefs, gloves, and stockings, will defend 54from the weather, and at the same time give us a sight of that admirable bosom, those charming arms, that divine leg.... doubts every where, certainty no where. how tired am i to hear, to read, to reflect, and to know nothing precisely. who will tell me only what is.... this, sir, is the country-man who leaving his plough, is come to talk with you about the affair of those poor orphans which is not ended. that is true, but what would you have? we are so overwhelmed! no matter, it shall be decided.... ah! good sir, i am glad to see you; i owe you a compliment: the last wig i had of you makes me look ten years older. surely the gentleman did not think, i had so magisterial a face! do you know, my dear sir, that it is enough to make me 55look ridiculous, and you to forfeit your reputation.... grant, o lord, three weeks of a westerly wind that my ship may sail.... o lord, three weeks of an easterly wind that my ship may arrive.... give me, o god, give me children.... o god! send a malignant fever upon my ungracious son.... o lord! grant me a husband.... o god! rid me of mine....”

perhaps all this hodge-podge will not be relished by most of my readers. i should be sorry for it. to what end then do mortals hold such odd, such silly and such contradictory discourses?

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