the honorable ophelia strong had summoned to her side a certain friend of her youth, and departed from saltire to an inland watering-place of repute. the pair had settled at a fashionable hydropathic establishment under the wing of an urbane and sympathetic medical gentleman. neither lord gerald nor john strong knew anything of the storms that had swept the friary. they believed the atmosphere of the place to have been peaceful as a summer dawn.
it was promulgated in saltire circles that gabriel strong’s wife had journeyed northward to callydon for the sake of her health. the reason was sane enough, but, since dr. marjoy had not been consulted in the matter, his indefatigable mate had spread certain sinister suggestions through the neighborhood. and since the saltire ladies were ready to accept any hint that was detrimental to the character of an absent sister, mrs. marjoy’s insinuations had bristled like scotch thistles and flourished with exceeding rankness.
one evening late in february mrs. mince and the doctor’s wife had attended the wednesday celebration of even-song at saltire church. mr. mince had preached to seven ladies, the sexton, and the village idiot a very moving sermon upon spirituality, a sermon largely plagiarized from the works of a popular divine. after the service the ladies had taken leave of the vicar at the village cross. mr. mince had parted from them to call on mr. smith, the pork butcher, to arrange for the transference of the vicarage sow’s last litter into cash. mrs. mince and mrs. marjoy continued on their way, inspired by the imagined savor of toasted muffins that rose spiritually prophetic from mrs. marjoy’s tea-table.
“it is reported, my dear,” said mrs. mince, as she turned up her veil and tucked her black gloves into a ball—“it is reported that young strong is to contest the constituency at the next election. sir hercules dimsdale is retiring, dear old fellow! what changes we see as the years pass by!”
“changes for the worse,” said mrs. marjoy. “sir hercules is such a gentleman; he always asks james to shoot with him twice a year. young strong a politician! why, the cub has no more backbone than a jellyfish. his character would not stand an election.”
mrs. mince agreed with her usual flabby facility.
“there are such peculiar rumors abroad,” she said. “i cannot imagine where they come from. most strange, ophelia strong going away like this. don’t you think so, my dear?”
mrs. marjoy leered behind her spectacles.
“very peculiar,” she said, suggestively.
“most odd, particularly when they have been married such a short time. i wonder what the reason can be.”
“health,” said the doctor’s wife.
“the woman looks well enough.”
“quite robust.”
“most odd,” observed the vicaress.
“my dear, there is no need to look far for an explanation. you see, mrs. strong did not consult james; a matter of diplomacy. the inference is inevitable.”
both ladies tittered. mrs. mince helped herself to another muffin, and wiped her fingers on a very crumpled handkerchief.
“dear! dear!” she observed; “i often wonder what we are coming to in these fast and atheistical days. life will become a terrible problem for christian women like ourselves in the future. if there were only more men like jacob in the country. that sermon was really a masterpiece.”
“a most moving appeal.”
“i knew you would think so, my dear. i am always imploring jacob to publish his sermons, but he is so beautifully modest. i am sure they would exert a great influence on the young men of england.”
“if they sold, my dear,” said mrs. marjoy.
“there could be no doubt on that point.”
mrs. marjoy shrugged her shoulders; her black hat sat awry on her frowzy brown hair.
“cheap fiction floods the market,” she observed—“such stuff as young strong would write. imagine that young fool setting himself up to be an author.”
“ridiculous!” said mrs. mince.
“and poetry, too! of course, immoral verses are always fashionable. and as for the novels, i have to read such few as we get before i can let them pass into james’s hands. he is such an innocent man, and i could not let him imbibe such abomination. there is cracow’s renovation, for instance. i have just finished the book, and i shall burn it.”
“please lend it to me first?” said the vicaress. “as a clergyman’s wife i like to dip into these things. one must be wise as to one’s times, my dear, or one can never confront evil properly.”
“exactly,” said mrs. marjoy. “i have turned down the most scandalous pages.”
“that will save me time. i can read the worst, my dear, and so speak with authority. i will take the book home with me to-night.”
the conversation again reverted to ophelia strong’s pilgrimage to callydon. mrs. marjoy’s explanatory suggestions were neither very magnanimous nor very refined. both ladies grew exceedingly animated over so lofty a topic. they discovered much complacent self-flattery in the comparison of their opinions. mrs. mince made frequent references to the text of her husband’s sermon.
previous to the vicaress’s departure mrs. marjoy stated certain postulates that deserve record, evidencing as they did the salubrious and christian atmosphere of that unique and excellent woman’s mind.
all servants are emissaries of satan.
all fashionable women imbibe brandy secretly.
all men are libertines with the exception of one’s own husband.
only those people are respectable who happen to move in the same groove as one’s self.
that charity, as a virtue, is peculiar to women.
that gabriel strong was an unprincipled person.
that his wife wore figure-pads and dyed her hair.
that mrs. jumble was a preposterous pedant.
that she, mrs. marjoy, hungered after the philosophy of christ with her whole soul.
that a really fascinating woman need not consider her complexion.
that one should never buy sausage-meat in june.
