winter had intensified the loneliness that had fallen upon joan gildersedge’s heart. of old, life had satisfied the girl; it no longer satisfied the woman. the lid of the casket had been lifted and the sunlight fell on the gems within, purple, vermilion, and green. the world had grown oracular. there was an ecstatic “ah!” in the voice of the wind. the vellum had been torn from the mouth of the painted jar and odors roseate and rare were wafted up to the stars. she was ignorant in measure, yet quick with a strange, sweet intuition that made her eyes rich as purple clematis and bright as sunlit glass. she was even a most fascinating drama to herself; it was a pure and beautiful thing, this magic that had grown so silently within her heart. like a white lily, green-stemmed and tall, it had put forth sudden bloom, and the fragrance hallowed the whole world.
child that she was, her life had been lonely enough, and she had treasured the soul-picture of the strong face that had come to her through the summer silence. the man had spoken words to her, both of pain and delight—pain that they should be parted, delight that it was difficult to part. she thought of him always, yet knew no shame in the thought. as she would have recalled a golden meadow, or a glistening dawn, or an evening deep with amethystine silence, so she would remember the man’s voice and the eyes that had looked at her with a mute despair. she treasured the memory as a betrothed girl treasures the amulet that dangles over her heart. pure, spontaneous, golden of soul, she had an earthly heaven in this love of hers. it was clean and spiritual, the virgin ecstasy of a woman, rich and fragrant as the meads of paradise.
she had taken judith for gabriel’s wife on the day she had passed them on the winter hill-side. the meeting had been a shock to joan, and she had turned home with her whole soul shuddering. she felt miserable, humiliated, yet full of an exultant loneliness. her love was inevitable to her, a book of dreams, sad yet splendid. seeing that it filled her with transcendent instincts towards beauty, it had no sinister meaning for her heart. the problem surprised her in measure. reality appeared to contradict truth. she had a species of conviction that by natural law gabriel was hers and she gabriel’s.
the last meeting had been oracular also in its effect upon the man. the look, half timid and pained, in the girl’s eyes remained with him vividly to the troubling of his spirit. the memory of it had been stamped upon his brain as with iron at white heat. this was but the fourth time that he had seen joan gildersedge, and each scene was a brilliant fresco, azure and green and gold. the winter landscape and the lonely eyes of the woman had touched all the slumbering idealism in his mind. his soul was like a deserted palace entered by its lord again. the jewelled casements glimmered in the sun; music and song moved mysterious through its gorgeous chambers; colors burned upon the walls; the odor of flowers breathed through its regenerate life.
through manifold gradations gabriel had come to a keen conception of a higher morality. he had flung away the yard-measure of superstition, and his possibilities were more magnificent and universal. from the rotting roofs of sectarianism his conception of love had risen to the spiritual azure of heaven. animalism had ceased from his soul. it vexed him no longer; the tiger and the dog in him were inert and caged. it is only when man has purged himself of his baser instincts that he comprehends the wonderful significance of life.
through the wilderness of speculation and desire gabriel had come by a conviction that illumined his whole being. the inevitable laws of life were as plain to him as though written upon tablets of stone. he had erred and failed. yet revelation had descended to him as he struggled towards the light. so long as animalism existed in his being, so long as fleshly things warred within his body, he was a bond-slave shackled from the supreme region of the ideal. joan gildersedge had ever been a white cloud to him, a golden vapor, beautifully pure. as the satyr squirming in the mire of an unlovely marriage he had dared not approach unto her soul. as the spirit man, the christian, this high love was lawful and good unto his being. he was justified by the spirit. though he were the bond-slave of an earthly houri nothing could prevent him aspiring to a divine love. such a marriage was but a serf’s collar with the medallion of the beast thereon. a spiritual love could in no way make him false to a compact that had nothing of the divine in its consummation. he was the husband of one wife in the flesh. he could be the husband of one wife in the spirit.
it was such a conclusion as this that sent him errant like a young sir percival, the man of a new age, eager to live life under the benediction of a new philosophy. that day the wind was warm and vigorous. rain had fallen early, but the sun had rent the clouds and flung torrents of gold dust down upon the world. all the earth glittered, the sea, the woods, the streams. the sky was like a garland of orange blooms about the brows of the day.
gabriel strong was in one of those transcendental moods when the mind is convinced of the existence of god. the law in his own heart led him instinctively to feel the presence of the unseen, to realize the superb dignity of the divine will. he trod the hills as christ trod the waves—serene, calmly exultant, conscious of heaven and his own soul. he beheld all things through the glittering idealism of love. nothing was prosaic, nothing unintelligible.
burnt house, with its red wall, its rusty gates, its sepulchral trees, rose before him like a romance. he passed up the tangled, grass-grown drive as one who fulfils the prophetic visions of the past. the cypresses bent to him in salutation. the laurels glistened, smiled in the sun. even the iron bell rang joyous, pealing loudly through the solitary house.
a tall, angular woman in a white cap opened the oak door to gabriel. there were hard lines about her mouth, her jaw was square, her colorless eyes critical. her black dress fitted close about her austere figure, and she wore a heavy silver brooch at her throat. she had the air of a woman bred in whitewashed chapels amid the bleating of harmoniums and the singing of hymns. her face was like a stone wall painted with a lying epitaph; her mouth like an oak money-trap inscribed with an insinuating text.
gabriel asked for joan gildersedge.
the woman looked him over, pursed her lips, and frowned. her eyes travelled from his forehead to his boots and remained fixed upon his collar.
“miss joan’s out.”
“will she be back soon?”
“can’t say.”
“is it any use my waiting?”
the tart person was considering the situation and the nature of her visitor. she knew his face and yet could not fix a name to it for the moment.
“better leave a card,” she said. “you might possibly find miss joan in the meadow. she’s vagarious, and i ain’t a prophet.”
“which way?”
“down the drive, sir, and by the path on the left.”
“thanks.”
“what name, sir?”
“you need not trouble.”
betwixt the laurels and the yews gabriel met joan gildersedge as he was returning towards the gate. they came upon each other quite suddenly, the girl emerging from the narrow path that plunged into the wall of green. there was neither the time nor the desire perhaps for prevarication on either part. the color had deepened on joan gildersedge’s face. all psychological reflections were swallowed up in the action of the moment.
“you—here!”
she stood looking in his face, still blushing slightly and holding herself a little aloof. her eyes had grown suddenly dark yet luminous, like a deep pool half lit by moonlight. their expression was ineffably mysterious and alluring.
“i have come to you again,” said the man.
“why?”
the sunlight quivered in gabriel’s eyes. his head was uncovered, his hair touched with light. he answered her slowly like a man who ponders his thoughts and pays out his words like gold pieces out of a treasury.
“i will tell you presently.”
“the truth?”
“to you—the truth—always.”
she gave a short sigh and turned back into the wilderness of the drive. infinite happiness shone on her face, a warm, spiritual radiance glowing through her delicate skin. her lips were parted in a smile, a smile that seemed to flood down from her eyes, even to ripple from her glimmering hair.
“come, let us go out together, watch the sea and talk. there are snowdrops in the meadow—my march children.”
the perfume of the rain-drenched cypresses breathed about them as they wound through the shrubbery. the wind shook spray from the thousand glittering fringes. its voice was as the half-heard moan of violins. together they came out into the meadow beyond the wavering, sun-streaked shadows of the trees. to the south the sea lifted up a band of silver towards the sky.
they stood under the shadow of the wall, where the wind tossed the cypress boughs upward into sudden gestures of despair. new life seemed to breathe in the breeze. sun and shadow played over the world. the man and the girl looked in each other’s eyes a moment and were happy.
“you will tell me why you have come to me again,” joan said.
gabriel stood as though to take the salt sea-wind into his bosom. he smiled as he spoke to her.
“because i have come by deeper truth.”
“you are married?”
“yes.”
“well?”
he frowned slightly and a shadow as of pain passed over his face. the girl was watching him with the calm content of one who trusts.
“you shall judge,” he said, “whether i desire to do you wrong or no. i thought once that i had no right to be near you, to hear you speak to me. it is the common verdict of the world that a man may not hold another woman to be nearer to his soul than is his wife. you understand me?”
“yes,” she said, slowly, still looking in his face.
“do you remember how the stars make one feel at night?”
“well enough.”
“a yearning towards all that is noble, pure, and divine. is there any evil in such a feeling?”
“how can there be?”
“and there are people in the world who seem to hang like stars over one’s soul. is there sin in desiring to be near them, to be inspired towards truth by their beauty?”
“i cannot think it.”
“nor i.”
“and so—?”
“i desire to be near you often. you speak to me of all my heart desires to be. that is all.”
“i understand,” she said, very slowly, with a strange light in her eyes—“i understand. let it be so. say no more.”
as when the moon rises, revealing splendors dusky and magnificent in some silent plain, so this sympathy, this dual comprehension, called into sudden radiance all that was fairest in the hearts of the man and the girl. a great calm seemed to steal upon both, gradual and infinite. for them the eternal spirit lifted up its blessed flame. for them the roses rushed into ruddy joy. for them the sea echoed the parables of the stars.
the girl had drawn closer to gabriel; her hand brushed against his.
“i have been very lonely,” she said, “and it is not good to be alone.”
“no,” he said, in a voice that was half a whisper.
“there would be no loneliness—”
“if men were not fools and if women had not received the poison of the serpent.”
they were both silent for a season. joan stooped down and gathered snowdrops as they grew against the wall. the man watched her. the flowers seemed emblems of what their love might be.
“i may see you again, then,” she said, presently, with a deep tone of content.
he stood back from her and looked towards the horizon. there was a radiance upon his face as though light fell on him out of heaven.
“yes, if—”
“well?”
“we vow here together.”
she waited.
“that i never touch you, never so much as touch your hand. that our flesh is severed absolutely; that only our spirits meet.”
“i will swear that,” she said, slowly.
so, under the sunlit sky and in the breath of the breeze, they swore both of them together a solemn oath, an oath to heaven.
