while the marchesa melani was making inquiries at the gate of the palace, fabio was sitting alone in the apartment which his wife usually occupied when she was in health. it was her favorite room, and had been prettily decorated, by her own desire, with hangings in yellow satin and furniture of the same color. fabio was now waiting in it, to hear the report of the doctors after their evening visit.
although maddalena lomi had not been his first love, and although he had married her under circumstances which are generally and rightly considered to afford few chances of lasting happiness in wedded life, still they had lived together through the one year of their union tranquilly, if not fondly. she had molded herself wisely to his peculiar humors, had made the most of his easy disposition; and, when her quick temper had got the better of her, had seldom hesitated in her cooler moments to acknowledge that she had been wrong. she had been extravagant, it is true, and had irritated him by fits of unreasonable jealousy; but these were faults not to be thought of now. he could only remember that she was the mother of his child, and that she lay ill but two rooms away from him—dangerously ill, as the doctors had unwillingly confessed on that very day.
the darkness was closing in upon him, and he took up the handbell to ring for lights. when the servant entered there was genuine sorrow in his face, genuine anxiety in his voice, as he inquired for news from the sick-room. the man only answered that his mistress was still asleep, and then withdrew, after first leaving a sealed letter on the table by his master’s side. fabio summoned him back into the room, and asked when the letter had arrived. he replied that it had been delivered at the palace two days since, and that he had observed it lying unopened on a desk in his master’s study.
left alone again, fabio remembered that the letter had arrived at a time when the first dangerous symptoms of his wife’s illness had declared themselves, and that he had thrown it aside, after observing the address to be in a handwriting unknown to him. in his present state of suspense, any occupation was better than sitting idle. so he took up the letter with a sigh, broke the seal, and turned inquiringly to the name signed at the end.
it was “nanina.”
he started, and changed color. “a letter from her,” he whispered to himself. “why does it come at such a time as this?”
his face grew paler, and the letter trembled in his fingers. those superstitious feelings which he had ascribed to the nursery influences of his childhood, when father rocco charged him with them in the studio, seemed to be overcoming him now. he hesitated, and listened anxiously in the direction of his wife’s room, before reading the letter. was its arrival ominous of good or evil? that was the thought in his heart as he drew the lamp near to him, and looked at the first lines.
“am i wrong in writing to you?” (the letter began abruptly). “if i am, you have but to throw this little leaf of paper into the fire, and to think no more of it after it is burned up and gone. i can never reproach you for treating my letter in that way; for we are never likely to meet again.
“why did i go away? only to save you from the consequences of marrying a poor girl who was not fit to become your wife. it almost broke my heart to leave you; for i had nothing to keep up my courage but the remembrance that i was going away for your sake. i had to think of that, morning and night—to think of it always, or i am afraid i should have faltered in my resolution, and have gone back to pisa. i longed so much at first to see you once more, only to tell you that nanina was not heartless and ungrateful, and that you might pity her and think kindly of her, though you might love her no longer.
“only to tell you that! if i had been a lady i might have told it to you in a letter; but i had never learned to write, and i could not prevail on myself to get others to take the pen for me. all i could do was to learn secretly how to write with my own hand. it was long, long work; but the uppermost thought in my heart was always the thought of justifying myself to you, and that made me patient and persevering. i learned, at last, to write so as not to be ashamed of myself, or to make you ashamed of me. i began a letter—my first letter to you—but i heard of your marriage before it was done, and then i had to tear the paper up, and put the pen down again.
“i had no right to come between you and your wife, even with so little a thing as a letter; i had no right to do anything but hope and pray for your happiness. are you happy? i am sure you ought to be; for how can your wife help loving you?
“it is very hard for me to explain why i have ventured on writing now, and yet i can’t think that i am doing wrong. i heard a few days ago (for i have a friend at pisa who keeps me informed, by my own desire, of all the pleasant changes in your life)—i heard of your child being born; and i thought myself, after that, justified at last in writing to you. no letter from me, at such a time as this, can rob your child’s mother of so much as a thought of yours that is due to her. thus, at least, it seems to me. i wish so well to your child, that i cannot surely be doing wrong in writing these lines.
“i have said already what i wanted to say—what i have been longing to say for a whole year past. i have told you why i left pisa; and have, perhaps, persuaded you that i have gone through some suffering, and borne some heart-aches for your sake. have i more to write? only a word or two, to tell you that i am earning my bread, as i always wished to earn it, quietly at home—at least, at what i must call home now. i am living with reputable people, and i want for nothing. la biondella has grown very much; she would hardly be obliged to get on your knee to kiss you now; and she can plait her dinner-mats faster and more neatly than ever. our old dog is with us, and has learned two new tricks; but you can’t be expected to remember him, although you were the only stranger i ever saw him take kindly to at first.
“it is time i finished. if you have read this letter through to the end, i am sure you will excuse me if i have written it badly. there is no date to it, because i feel that it is safest and best for both of us that you should know nothing of where i am living. i bless you and pray for you, and bid you affectionately farewell. if you can think of me as a sister, think of me sometimes still.”
fabio sighed bitterly while he read the letter. “why,” he whispered to himself, “why does it come at such a time as this, when i cannot dare not think of her?” as he slowly folded the letter up the tears came into his eyes, and he half raised the paper to his lips. at the same moment, some one knocked at the door of the room. he started, and felt himself changing color guiltily as one of his servants entered.
“my mistress is awake,” the man said, with a very grave face, and a very constrained manner; “and the gentlemen in attendance desire me to say—”
he was interrupted, before he could give his message, by one of the medical men, who had followed him into the room.
“i wish i had better news to communicate,” began the doctor, gently.
“she is worse, then?” said fabio, sinking back into the chair from which he had risen the moment before.
“she has awakened weaker instead of stronger after her sleep,” returned the doctor, evasively. “i never like to give up all hope till the very last, but—”
“it is cruel not to be candid with him,” interposed another voice—the voice of the doctor from florence, who had just entered the room. “strengthen yourself to bear the worst,” he continued, addressing himself to fabio. “she is dying. can you compose yourself enough to go to her bedside?”
pale and speechless, fabio rose from his chair, and made a sign in the affirmative. he trembled so that the doctor who had first spoken was obliged to lead him out of the room.
“your mistress has some near relations in pisa, has she not?” said the doctor from florence, appealing to the servant who waited near him.
“her father, sir, signor luca lomi; and her uncle, father rocco,” answered the man. “they were here all through the day, until my mistress fell asleep.”
“do you know where to find them now?”
“signor luca told me he should be at his studio, and father rocco said i might find him at his lodgings.”
“send for them both directly. stay, who is your mistress’s confessor? he ought to be summoned without loss of time.”
“my mistress’s confessor is father rocco, sir.”
“very well—send, or go yourself, at once. even minutes may be of importance now.” saying this, the doctor turned away, and sat down to wait for any last demands on his services, in the chair which fabio had just left.
