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CHAPTER IX. MISS DEMIJOHN'S INGENUITY.

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on the day on which crocker was going through his purgatory at the post office, a letter reached lady kingsbury at trafford park, which added much to the troubles and annoyances felt by different members of the family there. it was an anonymous letter, and the reader,—who in regard to such mysteries should never be kept a moment in ignorance,—may as well be told at once that the letter was written by that enterprising young lady, miss demijohn. the letter was written on new year's day, after the party,—perhaps in consequence of the party, as the rash doings of some of the younger members of the trafford family were made specially obvious to miss demijohn by what was said on that occasion. the letter ran as follows:

my lady marchioness—

i conceive it to be my duty as a well-wisher of the family to inform you that your stepson, lord hampstead, has become entangled in what i think to be a dangerous way with a young woman living in a neighbouring street to this.

the "neighbouring" street was of course a stroke of cunning on the part of miss demijohn.

she lives at no. 17, paradise row, holloway, and her name is marion fay. she is daughter to an old quaker, who is clerk to pogson and littlebird, king's court, great broad street, and isn't of course in any position to entertain such hopes as these. he may have a little money saved, but what's that to the likes of your ladyship and his lordship the marquis? some think she is pretty. i don't. now i don't like such cunning ways. of what i tell your ladyship there isn't any manner of doubt. his lordship was there for hours the other day, and the girl is going about as proud as a peacock.

it's what i call a regular paradise row conspiracy, and though the quaker has lent himself to it, he ain't at the bottom. next door but two to the fays there is a mrs. roden living, who has got a son, a stuck-up fellow and a clerk in the post office. i believe there isn't a bit of doubt but he has been and got himself engaged to another of your ladyship's noble family. as to that, all holloway is talking of it. i don't believe there is a 'bus driver up and down the road as doesn't know it. it's my belief that mrs. roden is the doing of it all! she has taken marion fay by the hand just as though she were her own, and now she has got the young lord and the young lady right into her mashes. if none of 'em isn't married yet it won't be long so unless somebody interferes. if you don't believe me do you send to the 'duchess of edinburgh' at the corner, and you'll find that they know all about it.

now, my lady marchioness, i've thought it my duty to tell you all this because i don't like to see a noble family put upon. there isn't nothing for me to get out of it myself. but i do it just as one of the family's well-wishers. therefore i sign myself your very respectful,

a well-wisher.

the young lady had told her story completely as far as her object was concerned, which was simply that of making mischief. but the business of anonymous letter-writing was one not new to her hand. it is easy, and offers considerable excitement to the minds of those whose time hangs heavy on their hands.

the marchioness, though she would probably have declared beforehand that anonymous letters were of all things the most contemptible, nevertheless read this more than once with a great deal of care. and she believed it altogether. as to lady frances, of course she knew the allegations to be true. seeing that the writer was so well acquainted with the facts as to lady frances, why should she be less well-informed in reference to lord hampstead? such a marriage as this with the quaker girl was exactly the sort of match which hampstead would be pleased to make. then she was especially annoyed by the publicity of the whole affair. that holloway and the drivers of the omnibuses, and the "duchess of edinburgh" should know all the secrets of her husband's family,—should be able to discuss the disgrace to which "her own darlings" would be subjected, was terrible to her. but perhaps the sting that went sharpest to her heart was that which came from the fact that lord hampstead was about to be married at all. let the wife be a quaker or what not, let her be as low as any woman that could be found within the sound of bow bells, still, if the marriage ceremony were once pronounced over them, that woman's son would become lord highgate, and would be heir to all the wealth and all the titles of the marquis of kingsbury,—to the absolute exclusion of the eldest-born of her own darlings.

she had had her hopes in the impracticability of lord hampstead. such men as that, she had told herself, were likely to keep themselves altogether free of marriage. he would not improbably, she thought, entertain some abominable but not unlucky idea that marriage in itself was an absurdity. at any rate, there was hope as long as he could be kept unmarried. were he to marry and then have a son, even though he broke his neck out hunting next day, no good would come of it. in this condition of mind she thought it well to show the letter to mr. greenwood before she read it to her husband. lord kingsbury was still very ill,—so ill as to have given rise to much apprehension; but still it would be necessary to discuss this letter with him, ill as he might be. only it should be first discussed with mr. greenwood.

mr. greenwood's face became flatter, and his jaw longer, and his eyes more like gooseberries as he read the letter. he had gradually trained himself to say and to hear all manner of evil things about lady frances in the presence of the marchioness. he had too accustomed himself to speak of lord hampstead as a great obstacle which it would be well if the lord would think proper to take out of the way. he had also so far followed the lead of his patroness as to be deep if not loud in his denunciations of the folly of the marquis. the marquis had sent him word that he had better look out for a new home, and without naming an especial day for his dismissal, had given him to understand that it would not be convenient to receive him again in the house in park lane. but the marquis had been ill when he had thus expressed his displeasure,—and was now worse. it might be that the marquis himself would never again visit park lane. as no positive limit had been fixed for mr. greenwood's departure from trafford park, there he remained,—and there he intended to remain for the present. as he folded up the letter carefully after reading it slowly, he only shook his head.

"is it true, i wonder?" asked the marchioness.

"there is no reason why it should not be."

"that's just what i say to myself. we know it is true about fanny. of course there's that mr. roden, and the mrs. roden. when the writer knows so much, there is reason to believe the rest."

"a great many people do tell a great many lies," said mr. greenwood.

"i suppose there is such a person as this quaker,—and that there is such a girl?"

"quite likely."

"if so, why shouldn't hampstead fall in love with her? of course he's always going to the street because of his friend roden."

"not a doubt, lady kingsbury."

"what ought we to do?" to this question mr. greenwood was not prepared with an immediate answer. if lord hampstead chose to get himself married to a quaker's daughter, how could it be helped? "his father would hardly have any influence over him now." mr. greenwood shook his head. "and yet he must be told." mr. greenwood nodded his head. "perhaps something might be done about the property."

"he wouldn't care two straws about settlements," said mr. greenwood.

"he doesn't care about anything he ought to. if i were to write and ask him, would he tell the truth about this marriage?"

"he wouldn't tell the truth about anything," said mr. greenwood.

the marchioness passed this by, though she knew it at the moment to be calumny. but she was not unwilling to hear calumny against lord hampstead. "there used to be ways," she said, "in which a marriage of that kind could be put on one side afterwards."

"you must put it on one side before, now-a-days, if you mean to do it at all," said the clergyman.

"but how?—how?"

"if he could be got out of the way."

"how out of the way?"

"well;—that's what i don't know. suppose he could be made to go out yachting, and she be married to somebody else when he's at sea!" lady kingsbury felt that her friend was but little good at a stratagem. but she felt also that she was not very good herself. she could wish; but wishing in such matters is very vain. she had right on her side. she was quite confident as to that. there could be no doubt but that "gods and men" would desire to see her little lord frederic succeed to the marquisate rather than this infidel republican. if this wretched radical could be kept from marrying there would evidently be room for hope, because there was the fact,—proved by the incontestable evidence of burke's peerage,—that younger sons did so often succeed. but if another heir were to be born, then, as far as she was aware, burke's peerage promised her nothing. "it's a pity he shouldn't break his neck out hunting," said mr. greenwood.

"even that wouldn't be much if he were to be married first," said the marchioness.

every day she went to her husband for half-an-hour before her lunch, at which time the nurse who attended him during the day was accustomed to go to her dinner. he had had a physician down from london since his son had visited him, and the physician had told the marchioness that though there was not apparently any immediate danger, still the symptoms were such as almost to preclude a hope of ultimate recovery. when this opinion had been pronounced there had arisen between the marchioness and the chaplain a discussion as to whether lord hampstead should be once again summoned. the marquis himself had expressed no such wish. a bulletin of a certain fashion had been sent three or four times a week to hendon hall purporting to express the doctor's opinion of the health of their noble patient; but the bulletin had not been scrupulously true. neither of the two conspirators had wished to have lord hampstead at trafford park. lady kingsbury was anxious to make the separation complete between her own darlings and their brother, and mr. greenwood remembered, down to every tittle of a word and tone, the insolence of the rebuke which he had received from the heir. but if lord kingsbury were really to be dying, then they would hardly dare to keep his son in ignorance.

"i've got something i'd better show you," she said, as she seated herself by her husband's sofa. then she proceeded to read to him the letter, without telling him as she did so that it was anonymous. when he had heard the first paragraph he demanded to know the name of the writer. "i'd better read it all first," said the marchioness. and she did read it all to the end, closing it, however, without mentioning the final "well-wisher." "of course it's anonymous," she said, as she held the letter in her hand.

"then i don't believe a word of it," said the marquis.

"very likely not; but yet it sounds true."

"i don't think it sounds true at all. why should it be true? there is nothing so wicked as anonymous letters."

"if it isn't true about hampstead it's true at any rate of fanny. that man comes from holloway, and paradise row and the 'duchess of edinburgh.' where fanny goes for her lover, hampstead is likely to follow. 'birds of a feather flock together.'"

"i won't have you speak of my children in that way," said the sick lord.

"what can i do? is it not true about fanny? if you wish it, i will write to hampstead and ask him all about it." in order to escape from the misery of the moment he assented to this proposition. the letter being anonymous had to his thinking been disgraceful and therefore he had disbelieved it. and having induced himself to disbelieve the statements made, he had been drawn into expressing,—or at any rate to acknowledging by his silence,—a conviction that such a marriage as that proposed with marion fay would be very base. her ladyship felt therefore that if lord hampstead could be got to acknowledge the engagement, something would have been done towards establishing a quarrel between the father and the son.

"has that man gone yet?" he asked as his wife rose to leave the room.

"has what man gone?"

"mr. greenwood."

"gone? how should he have gone? it has never been expected that he should go by this time. i don't see why he should go at all. he was told that you would not again require his services up in london. as far as i know, that is all that has been said about going." the poor man turned himself on his sofa angrily, but did not at the moment give any further instructions as to the chaplain's departure.

"he wants to know why you have not gone," lady kingsbury said to the clergyman that afternoon.

"where am i to go to?" whined the unfortunate one. "does he mean to say that i am to be turned out into the road at a moment's notice because i can't approve of what lady frances is doing? i haven't had any orders as to going. if i am to go i suppose he will make some arrangement first." lady kingsbury said what she could to comfort him, and explained that there was no necessity for his immediate departure. perhaps the marquis might not think of it again for another week or two; and there was no knowing in what condition they might find themselves.

her ladyship's letter to her stepson was as follows; and by return of post her stepson's answer came;—

my dear hampstead,—

tidings have reached your father that you have engaged yourself to marry a girl, the daughter of a quaker named fay, living at no. 17, paradise row. he, the quaker, is represented as being a clerk in a counting-house in the city. of the girl your father has heard nothing, but can only imagine that she should be such as her position would make probable. he desires me to ask you whether there is any truth in the statement. you will observe that i express no opinion myself whether it be true or false, whether proper or improper. after your conduct the other day i should not think of interfering myself; but your father wishes me to ask for his information.

yours truly,

clara kingsbury.

hampstead's answer was very short, but quite sufficient for the purpose;—

my dear lady kingsbury,

i am not engaged to marry miss fay,—as yet. i think that i may be some day soon.

yours affectionately,

hampstead.

by the same post he wrote a letter to his father, and that shall also be shown to the reader.

my dear father,—

i have received a letter from lady kingsbury, asking me as to a report of an engagement between me and a young lady named marion fay. i am sorry that her writing should be evidence that you are hardly yet strong enough to write yourself. i trust that it may not long be so.

would you wish to see me again at trafford? i do not like to go there without the expression of a wish from you; but i hold myself in readiness to start whenever you may desire it. i had hoped from the last accounts that you were becoming stronger.

i do not know how you may have heard anything of marion fay. had i engaged myself to her, or to any other young lady, i should have told you at once. i do not know whether a young man is supposed to declare his own failures in such matters, when he has failed,—even to his father. but, as i am ashamed of nothing in the matter, i will avow that i have asked the young lady to be my wife, but she has as yet declined. i shall ask her again, and still hope to succeed.

she is the daughter of a mr. fay who, as lady kingsbury says, is a quaker, and is a clerk in a house in the city. as he is in all respects a good man, standing high for probity and honour among those who know him, i cannot think that there is any drawback. she, i think, has all the qualities which i would wish to find in the woman whom i might hope to make my wife. they live at no. 17, paradise row, holloway. lady kingsbury, indeed, is right in all her details.

pray let me have a line, if not from yourself, at any rate dictated by you, to say how you are.

your affectionate son,

hampstead.

it was impossible to keep the letter from lady kingsbury. it thus became a recognized fact by the marquis, by the marchioness, and by mr. greenwood, that hampstead was going to marry the quaker's daughter. as to that pretence of a refusal, it went for nothing, even with the father. was it probable that a quaker's daughter, the daughter of a merchant's clerk out of the city, should refuse to become a marchioness? the sick man was obliged to express anger, having been already made to treat the report as incredible because of the disgrace which would accompany it, if true. had he been left to himself he would have endeavoured to think as little about it as possible. not to quarrel with his two eldest children was the wish that was now strongest at his heart. but his wife recalled the matter to him at each of the two daily visits which she made. "what can i do?" he was driven to ask on the third morning.

"mr. greenwood suggests—," began his wife, not intending to irritate him, having really forgotten at the moment that no suggestion coming from mr. greenwood could be welcome to him.

"d—— mr. greenwood," he shouted, lifting himself up erect from the pillows on his sofa. the marchioness was in truth so startled by the violence of his movement, and by the rage expressed on his haggard face, that she jumped from her chair with unexpected surprise. "i desire," said the marquis, "that that man shall leave the house by the end of this month."

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