in my case, to protect myself from richard parker while itrained him, i made a shield with a turtle shell. i cut a notchon each side of the shell and connected them with a length ofrope. the shield was heavier than i would have liked, but dosoldiers ever get to choose their ordnance?

the first time i tried, richard parker bared his teeth, rotatedhis ears full round, vomited a short guttural roar and charged.

a great, full-clawed paw rose in the air and cuffed my shield.

the blow sent me flying off the boat. i hit the water andinstantly let go of the shield. it sank without a trace afterhitting me in the shin. i was beside myself with terror – ofrichard parker, but also of being in the water. in my mind ashark was at that very second shooting up for me. i swam forthe raft in frantic strokes, precisely the sort of wild thrashingthat sharks find so deliciously inviting. luckily there were nosharks. i reached the raft, let out all the rope and sat with myarms wrapped around my knees and my head down, trying toput out the fire of fear that was blazing within me. it was along time before the trembling of my body stopped completely.

i stayed on the raft for the rest of that day and the wholenight. i did not eat or drink.

i was at it again next time i caught a turtle. its shell wassmaller, lighter, and made for a better shield. once more iadvanced and started stamping on the middle bench with myfoot.

i wonder if those who hear this story will understand thatmy behaviour was not an act of insanity or a covert suicideattempt, but a simple necessity. either i tamed him, made himsee who was number one and who was number two – or idied the day i wanted to climb aboard the lifeboat duringrough weather and he objected.

if i survived my apprenticeship as a high seas animal trainer,it was because richard parker did not really want to attackme. tigers, indeed all animals, do not favour violence as ameans of settling scores. when animals fight, it is with theintent to kill and with the understanding that they may bekilled. a clash is costly. and so animals have a full system ofcautionary signals designed to avoid a showdown, and they arequick to back down when they feel they can. rarely will a tigerattack a fellow predator without warning. typically a head-onrush for the adversary will be made, with much snarling andgrowling. but just before it is too late, the tiger will freeze, themenace rumbling deep in its throat. it will appraise thesituation. if it decides that there is no threat, it will turn away,feeling that its point has been made.

richard parker made his point with me four times. fourtimes he struck at me with his right paw and sent meoverboard, and four times i lost my shield. i was terrifiedbefore, during and after each attack, and i spent a long timeshivering with fear on the raft. eventually i learned to read thesignals he was sending me. i found that with his ears, his eyes,his whiskers, his teeth, his tail and his throat, he spoke asimple, forcefully punctuated language that told me what hisnext move might be. i learned to back down before he liftedhis paw in the air.

then i made my point, feet on the gunnel, boat rolling, mysingle-note language blasting from the whistle, and richardparker moaning and gasping at the bottom of the boat.

my fifth shield lasted me the rest of his training.