although the superior maternity of the human female is so difficult to prove, so open to heavy charges of inadequacy, so erratic and pathological, there remain intact our devout belief in it, our reverence, our unshaken conviction that it is the one perfect thing. the facts as to our carelessness and ignorance in the fulfilment of this function are undeniable: the rate of infant mortality and children’s diseases,—those classed by physicians as “preventable diseases,” namely,—these mortal errors and failures confront us everywhere; but we ignore them all, or attribute them to any and every reason save deficient motherhood.
one of the most frequent excuses, among those who have gone far enough to admit that excuse is needed, is that the father is to blame for these conditions. his vices, it is alleged, weaken the constitution of the race. his failure to provide prevents the mother from giving the proper care. he is held responsible for what evil we see in our children; and still we worship the mother for the physical process of bearing a child,—now considered an act of heroism,—and for the “devotion” with which she clings to it afterward, irrespective of the wisdom or effectiveness of this 201devotion. a healthy and independent motherhood would no more think of taking credit to itself for the right fulfilment of its natural functions than would a cat for bringing forth her kittens or a sheep her lambs. the common fact that the women of the lower social grades bear more children and bear them more easily than the women of higher classes ought to give pause to this ridiculous assumption, but it does not. the more women weaken themselves and their offspring, and imperil their very lives by anti-maternal habits, the more difficulty, danger, and expense are associated with this natural process, the more do women solemnly take credit to themselves and receive it from others for the glorious self-sacrifice with which they risk their lives (and their babies’ lives!) for the preservation of humanity. as to the father and his share in the evil results, nothing that he has ever done or can do removes from motherhood its primal responsibility.
suppose the female of some other species, ignoring her racial duty of right selection, should mate with mangy, toothless cripples,—if there were such among her kind,—and so produce weak, malformed young, and help exterminate her race. should she then blame him for the result? an entire sex, sacredly 202set apart for maternal functions so superior as to justify their lack of economic usefulness, should in the course of ages have learned how to select proper fathers. if the only way in which the human mother can feed and guard her children is through another person, a provider and protector on whom their lives and safety must depend, what natural, social, or moral excuse has she for not choosing a good one?
but how can a young girl know a good prospective father, we ask. that she is not so educated as to know proves her unfitness for her great task. that she does not think or care proves her dishonorable indifference to her great duty. she can in no way shirk the responsibility for criminal carelessness in choosing a father for her children, unless indeed there were no choice,—no good men left on earth. moreover, we are not obliged to leave this crucial choice in the hands of young girls. motherhood is the work of grown women, not of half-children; and, when we honestly care as much for motherhood as we pretend, we shall train the woman for her duty, not the girl for her guileless man?uvres to secure a husband. we talk about the noble duties of the mother, but our maidens are educated for economically successful marriage.
leaving this field of maternal duty through 203sex-selection, there remains the far larger ground to which the popular mind flees in triumph: that the later work of the mother proves the success of our racial division of labor on sex-lines, that in the care of the child, the education of the child, the beautiful life of the home and family, it is shown how well our system works. this is the last stronghold. solidly intrenched herein sits popular thought, safe in the sacred precincts of the home. “every man’s home is his castle,” is the common saying. the windows are shut to keep out the air. the curtains are down to keep out the light. the doors are barred to keep out the stranger. within are the hearth fire and its gentle priestess, the initial combination of human life,—the family in the home.
our thrones have been emptied, and turned into mere chairs for passing presidents. our churches have been opened to the light of modern life, and the odor of sanctity has been freshened with sweet sunny air. we can see room for change in these old sanctuaries, but none in the sanctuary of the home. and this temple, with its rights, is so closely interwound with the services of subject woman, its altar so demands her ceaseless sacrifices, that we find it impossible to conceive of any other basis of human living. we are chilled to the heart’s 204core by the fear of losing any of these ancient and hallowed associations. without this blessed background of all our memories and foreground of all our hopes, life seems empty indeed. in homes we were all born. in homes we all die or hope to die. in homes we all live or want to live. for homes we all labor, in them or out of them. the home is the centre and circumference, the start and the finish, of most of our lives. we love it with a love older than the human race. we reverence it with the blind obeisance of those crouching centuries when its cult began. we cling to it with the tenacity of every inmost, oldest instinct of our animal natures, and with the enthusiasm of every latest word in the unbroken chant of adoration which we have sung to it since first we learned to praise.
and since we hold that our home life, just as we have it, is the best thing on earth, and that our home life plainly demands one whole woman at the least to each home, and usually more, it follows that anything which offers to change the position of woman threatens to “undermine the home,” “strikes at the root of the family,” and we will none of it. if, in honest endeavor to keep up to the modern standard of free thought and free speech, we do listen,—turning from our idol for a moment, and saying 205to the daring iconoclast, “come, show us anything better!”—with what unlimited derision do we greet his proposed substitute! yet everywhere about us to-day this inner tower, this castle keep of vanishing tradition, is becoming more difficult to defend or even to keep in repair. we buttress it anew with every generation; we love its very cracks and crumbling corners; we hang and drape it with endless decorations; we hide the looming dangers overhead with fresh clouds of incense; and we demand of the would-be repairers and rebuilders that they prove to us the desirability of their wild plans before they lift a hammer. but, when they show their plans, we laugh them to scorn.
it is a difficult case to meet. to call attention to existing conditions and to establish the relation between them and existing phenomena is one thing. to point out how a change of condition will produce new phenomena, and how these phenomena will benefit us, is quite another. yet this is the task that is always involved in the conscious progress of the human race. while that progress was unconscious, it was enough that certain individuals and classes gradually entered into new relations in process of social evolution, and that they forced their conditions upon the reluctant conservatives who failed so to evolve.
206in the quite recent passage from the feudal to the monarchical system, no time was wasted in the endeavor to persuade and convince the headstrong barons of their national duty. the growing power of the king struggled with and survived the lessening power of the barons,—that was all. had a book been written then to urge the change, it could have proved clearly enough the evils of the feudal system; but, when it tried to portray the glories of national peace and power under a single monarch, it would have had small weight. national peace and power, which had been hitherto non-existent, would have failed to appeal to the sturdy lords of the soil, whose only idea of peace and power was to sit down and rest on their prostrate neighbors. had their strength run in the line of argument, they would have scouted the “should be’s” and “will be’s” of the author, and defied him to prove that the new condition would be developed by the new processes; and, indeed, he would have found it hard.
so to-day, in questioning the economic status of woman and her position in the home and in the family, it is far easier to prove present evil than future good. yet this is what is most exactingly demanded. it is required of the advocate of social reform not only that he convince the contented followers of the present system 207of its wrong, but that he prove to their satisfaction the superiority of some other system. this, in the nature of the case, is impossible. when people are contented, you cannot make them feel that what is is wrong, or that something else might be better. even the discontented are far more willing to refer their troubles to some personal factor than to admit that their condition as a whole inevitably produces the general trouble in which they share. even if convinced that a change of condition will remove the source of injury, they, like the fox with the swarm of flies, fear to be disturbed, lest their last state be worse than their first. in the face of this inevitable difficulty, however, the task must be undertaken.
two things let us premise and agree upon before starting. first, that the duty of human life is progress, development; that we are here, not merely to live, but to grow,—not to be content with lean savagery or fat barbarism or sordid semi-civilization, but to toil on through the centuries, and build up the ever-nobler forms of life toward which social evolution tends. if this is not believed, if any hold that to keep alive and reproduce the species is the limit of our human duty, then they need look no farther here. that aim can be attained, and has been attained, for irrefutable centuries, through many 208forms of sex-relation and of economic relation. human beings have lived and brought up children as good as their parents in free promiscuity and laziness, in forced polygamy and slavery, in willing polyandry and industry, and in monogamy plus prostitution and manufactures. just to live and bear children does not prove the relative superiority of any system, either in sex or economics. but, when we believe that life means progress, then each succeeding form of sex-relation or economic relation is to be measured by its effect on that progress.
it may be necessary here to agree on a definition of human progress. according to the general law of organic evolution, it may be defined as follows: such progress in the individual and in his social relations as shall maintain him in health and happiness and increase the organic development of society.
if we accept such a definition of human progress, if we agree that progress is the duty of society, and that all social institutions are to be measured by it, we may proceed to our second premise. this is not to be ranked with the first in importance: it should be too commonly understood and accepted to be dragged into such a prominent position. but it is not commonly understood and accepted. in fact, it is misunderstood and denied to so general a degree 209that no apology is needed for insisting on it here.
the second premise is this: our enjoyment of a thing does not prove that it is right. even our love, admiration, and reverence for a thing does not prove that it is right; and, even from an evolutionary point of view, our belief that a thing is “natural” does not prove that it is right. a thing may be right in one stage of evolution which becomes wrong in another. for instance, promiscuity is “natural”; the human animal, like many others, is quite easily inclined thereto. monogamy is proven right by social evolution: it is the best way to carry on the human race in social relation; but it is not yet as “natural” as could be desired.
so, to return to our second premise, which is admittedly rather a large one, to show that any custom or status of ours is “natural” and enjoyable does not prove that it is right. it does not of course prevent its being right. right things may be enjoyed, may be loved, admired, and reverenced, may even be “natural”; but so may wrong things. even that subhuman faculty called instinct is only a true guide to conduct when the conditions are present which originally developed that instinct. the instinct that makes a modern house-dog turn around three times before he lies down is not worthy of 210much admiration to-day, though it served its purpose on the grassy plains and in the leafy hollows where it was formed. if these two premises are granted, that the duty of human life is progress, and that a given condition is not necessarily right because we like it, we may go on.
is our present method of home life, based on the economic dependence of woman in the sex-relation, the best calculated to maintain the individual in health and happiness, and develope in him the higher social faculties? the individual is not maintained in health and happiness,—that is visible to all; and how little he is developed in social relation is shown in the jarring irregularity and wastefulness of our present economic system.
economic independence for women necessarily involves a change in the home and family relation. but, if that change is for the advantage of individual and race, we need not fear it. it does not involve a change in the marriage relation except in withdrawing the element of economic dependence, nor in the relation of mother to child save to improve it. but it does involve the exercise of human faculty in women, in social service and exchange rather than in domestic service solely. this will of course require the introduction of some other form of 211living than that which now obtains. it will render impossible the present method of feeding the world by means of millions of private servants, and bringing up children by the same hand.
it is a melancholy fact that the vast majority of our children are reared and trained by domestic servants,—generally their mothers, to be sure, but domestic servants by trade. to become a producer, a factor in the economic activities of the world, must perforce interfere with woman’s present status as a private servant. house mistress she may still be, in the sense of owning and ordering her home, but housekeeper or house-servant she may not be—and be anything else. her position as mother will alter, too. mother in the sense of bearer and rearer of noble children she will be, as the closest and dearest, the one most honored and best loved; but mother in the sense of exclusive individual nursery-maid and nursery-governess she may not be—and be anything else.
it is precisely here that the world calls a halt. nothing, it says, can be better than our homes with their fair priestesses. nothing can be better for children than the hourly care of their own mothers. it is the position of the feudal baron over again. we can perhaps be made to see the evils of existing conditions: we cannot 212be made to see any possibility of improving on them. nevertheless, it may be tried.
let us deliberately set ourselves to imagine, by sheer muscular effort as it were, a better kind of motherhood than that of the private nursery governess, a better way to feed and clean and clothe the world than by the private house servant.
here is felt the need of our second premise; for we enjoy things as they are (that is, some of us do, sometimes, and the rest of us think that we do). we love, admire, and reverence them; and it is “natural” to have them so. if it can be shown that human progress is better served by other methods, then other methods will be proven right; and we must grow to enjoy and honor them as fast as we can, and in due course of time we shall find them natural. if it can be shown that our babies would be better off if part of their time was passed in other care than their mothers’, then such other care would be right; and it would be the duty of motherhood to provide it. if it can be shown that we could all be better provided for in our personal needs of nutrition, cleanliness, warmth, shelter, privacy, by some other method than that which requires the labor of one woman or more to each family, then it would be the duty of womanhood to find such method and to practise it.
213perhaps it is worth while to examine the nature of our feeling toward that social institution called “the family,” and the probable effect upon it of the change in woman’s economic status.
marriage and “the family” are two institutions, not one, as is commonly supposed. we confuse the natural result of marriage in children, common to all forms of sex-union, with the family,—a purely social phenomenon. marriage is a form of sex-union recognized and sanctioned by society. it is a relation between two or more persons, according to the custom of the country, and involves mutual obligations. although made by us an economic relation, it is not essentially so, and will exist in much higher fulfilment after the economic phase is outgrown.
the family is a social group, an entity, a little state. it holds an important place in the evolution of society quite aside from its connection with marriage. there was a time when the family was the highest form of social relation,—indeed, the only form of social relation,—when to the minds of pastoral, patriarchal tribes there was no conception so large as “my country,” no state, no nation. there was only a great land spotted with families, each family its own little world, of which grandpa was priest and 214king. the family was a social unit. its interests were common to its members, and inimical to those of other families. it moved over the earth, following its food supply, and fighting occasionally with stranger families for the grass or water on which it depended. indissoluble common interests are what make organic union, and those interests long rested on blood relationship.
while the human individual was best fed and guarded by the family, and so required the prompt, correlative action of all the members of that family, naturally the family must have a head; and that form of government known as the patriarchal was produced. the natural family relation, as seen in parents and young of other species, or in ourselves in later forms, involves no such governmental development: that is a feature of the family as a social entity alone.
one of the essentials of the patriarchal family life was polygamy, and not only polygamy, but open concubinage, and a woman slavery which was almost the same thing. the highest period of the family as a social institution was a very low period for marriage as a social institution,—a period, in fact, when marriage was but partially evolved from the early promiscuity of the primitive savage. the family seems indeed to 215be a gradually disappearing survival of the still looser unit of the horde, which again is more closely allied to the band or pack of gregarious carnivora than to an organic social relation. a loose, promiscuous group of animals is not a tribe; and the most primitive savage groups seem to have been no more than this.
the tribe in its true form follows the family,—is a natural extension of it, and derives its essential ties from the same relationship. these social forms, too, are closely related to economic conditions. the horde was the hunting unit; the family, and later the tribe, the pastoral unit. agriculture and its resultant, commerce and manufacture, gradually weaken these crude blood ties, and establish the social relationship which constitutes the state. before the pastoral era the family held no important position, and since that era it has gradually declined. with social progress we find human relations resting less and less on a personal and sex basis, and more and more on general economic independence. as individuals have become more highly specialized, they have made possible a higher form of marriage.
the family is a decreasing survival of the earliest grouping known to man. marriage is an increasing development of high social life, not fully evolved. so far from being identical with 216the family, it improves and strengthens in inverse ratio to the family, as is easily seen by the broad contrast between the marriage relations of jacob and the unquenchable demand for lifelong single mating that grows in our hearts to-day. there was no conception of marriage as a personal union for life of two well-matched individuals during the patriarchal era. wives were valued merely for child-bearing. the family needed numbers of its own blood, especially males; and the man-child was the price of favor to women then. it was but a few degrees beyond the horde, not yet become a tribe in the full sense. its bonds of union were of the loosest,—merely common paternity, with a miscellaneous maternity of inimical interests. such a basis forever forbade any high individualization, and high individualization with its demands for a higher marriage forbids any numerical importance to the family. marriage has risen and developed in social importance as the family has sunk and decreased.
it is most interesting to note that, under the comparatively similar conditions of the settlement of utah, the numerical strength and easily handled common interests of many people under one head, which distinguish the polygamous family, were found useful factors in that great pioneering enterprise. in the further development 217of society a relation of individuals more fluent, subtle, and extensive was needed. the family as a social unit makes a ponderous body of somewhat irreconcilable constituents, requiring a sort of military rule to make it work at all; and it is only useful while the ends to be attained are of a simple nature, and allow of the slowest accomplishment. it is easy to see the family extending to the tribe by its own physical increase; and, similarly, the father hardening into the chief, under the necessities of larger growth. then, as the steadily enlarging forces of national unity make the chief an outgrown name and the tribe an outgrown form, the family dwindles to a monogamic basis, as the higher needs of the sex-relation become differentiated from the more primitive economic necessities of the family.
and now, further, when our still developing social needs call for an ever-increasing delicacy and freedom in the interservice and common service of individuals, we find that even what economic unity remains to the family is being rapidly eliminated. as the economic relation becomes rudimentary and disappears, the sex-relation asserts itself more purely; and the demand in the world to-day for a higher and nobler sex-union is as sharply defined as the growing objection to the existing economic union. 218strange as it may seem to us, so long accustomed to confound the two it is precisely the outgrown relics of a previously valuable family relation which so painfully retard the higher development of the monogamic marriage relation.
each generation of young men and women comes to the formation of sex-union with higher and higher demands for a true marriage, with ever-growing needs for companionship. each generation of men and women need and ask more of each other. a woman is no longer content and grateful to have “a kind husband”: a man is no longer content with a patient griselda; and, as all men and women, in marrying, revert to the economic status of the earlier family, they come under conditions which steadily tend to lower the standard of their mutual love, and make of the average marriage only a sort of compromise, borne with varying ease or difficulty according to the good breeding and loving-kindness of the parties concerned. this is not necessarily, to their conscious knowledge, an “unhappy marriage.” it is as happy as those they see about them, as happy perhaps as we resignedly expect “on earth”; and in heaven we do not expect marriages. but it is not what they looked forward to when they were young.
when two young people love each other, in 219the long hours which are never long enough for them to be together in, do they dwell in ecstatic forecast on the duties of housekeeping? they do not. they dwell on the pleasure of having a home, in which they can be “at last alone”; on the opportunity of enjoying each other’s society; and, always, on what they will do together. to act with those we love,—to walk together, work together, read together, paint, write, sing, anything you please, so that it be together,—that is what love looks forward to.
human love, as it rises to an ever higher grade, looks more and more for such companionship. but the economic status of marriage rudely breaks in upon love’s young dream. on the economic side, apart from all the sweetness and truth of the sex-relation, the woman in marrying becomes the house-servant, or at least the housekeeper, of the man. of the world we may say that the intimate personal necessities of the human animal are ministered to by woman. married lovers do not work together. they may, if they have time, rest together: they may, if they can, play together; but they do not make beds and sweep and cook together, and they do not go down town to the office together. they are economically on entirely different social planes, and these constitute a bar to any higher, truer union than such as we see about us. 220marriage is not perfect unless it is between class equals. there is no equality in class between those who do their share in the world’s work in the largest, newest, highest ways and those who do theirs in the smallest, oldest, lowest ways.
granting squarely that it is the business of women to make the home life of the world true, healthful, and beautiful, the economically dependent woman does not do this, and never can. the economically independent woman can and will. as the family is by no means identical with marriage, so is the home by no means identical with either.
a home is a permanent dwelling-place, whether for one, two, forty, or a thousand, for a pair, a flock, or a swarm. the hive is the home of the bees as literally and absolutely as the nest is the home of mating birds in their season. home and the love of it may dwindle to the one chamber of the bachelor or spread to the span of a continent, when the returning traveller sees land and calls it “home.” there is no sweeter word, there is no dearer fact, no feeling closer to the human heart than this.
on close analysis, what are the bases of our feelings in this connection? and what are their supporting facts? far down below humanity, where “the foxes have holes, and the birds of the 221air have nests,” there begins the deep home feeling. maternal instinct seeks a place to shelter the defenceless young, while the mother goes abroad to search for food. the first sharp impressions of infancy are associated with the sheltering walls of home, be it the swinging cradle in the branches, the soft dark hollow in the trunk of a tree, or the cave with its hidden lair. a place to be safe in; a place to be warm and dry in; a place to eat in peace and sleep in quiet; a place whose close, familiar limits rest the nerves from the continuous hail of impressions in the changing world outside: the same place over and over,—the restful repetition, rousing no keen response, but healing and soothing each weary sense,—that “feels like home.” all this from our first consciousness. all this for millions and millions of years. no wonder we love it.
then comes the gradual addition of tenderer associations, family ties of the earliest. then, still primitive, but not yet outgrown, the groping religious sentiment of early ancestor-worship, adding sanctity to safety, and driving deep our sentiment for home. it was the place in which to pray, to keep alight the sacred fire, and pour libations to departed grandfathers. following this, the slow-dying era of paternal government gave a new sense of honor to the place of comfort and 222the place of prayer. it became the seat of government also,—the palace and the throne. upon this deep foundation we have built a towering superstructure of habit, custom, law; and in it dwell together every deepest, oldest, closest, and tenderest emotion of the human individual. no wonder we are blind and deaf to any suggested improvement in our lordly pleasure-house.
but look farther. without contradicting any word of the above, it is equally true that the highest emotions of humanity arise and live outside the home and apart from it. while religion stayed at home, in dogma and ceremony, in spirit and expression, it was a low and narrow religion. it could never rise till it found a new spirit and a new expression in human life outside the home, until it found a common place of worship, a ceremonial and a morality on a human basis, not a family basis. science, art, government, education, industry,—the home is the cradle of them all, and their grave, if they stay in it. only as we live think, feel, and work outside the home, do we become humanly developed, civilized, socialized.
the exquisite development of modern home life is made possible only as an accompaniment and result of modern social life. if the reverse were true, as is popularly supposed, all 223nations that have homes would continue to evolve a noble civilization. but they do not. on the contrary, those nations in which home and family worship most prevail, as in china, present a melancholy proof of the result of the domestic virtues without the social. a noble home life is the product of a noble social life. the home does not produce the virtues needed in society. but society does produce the virtues needed in such homes as we desire to-day. the members of the freest, most highly civilized and individualized nations, make the most delightful members of the home and family. the members of the closest and most highly venerated homes do not necessarily make the most delightful members of society.
in social evolution as in all evolution the tendency is from “indefinite, incoherent homogeneity to definite, coherent heterogeneity”; and the home, in its rigid maintenance of a permanent homogeneity, constitutes a definite limit to social progress. what we need is not less home, but more; not a lessening of the love of human beings for a home, but its extension through new and more effective expression. and, above all, we need the complete disentanglement in our thoughts of the varied and often radically opposed interests and industries so long supposed to be component parts of the home and family.
224the change in the economic position of woman from dependence to independence must bring with it a rearrangement of these home interests and industries, to our great gain.