miss mackenzie, before she left gower street, was forced to make some arrangements as to her affairs at littlebath, and these were ultimately settled in a manner that was not altogether palatable to her. mr rubb was again sent down, having susanna in his charge, and he was empowered to settle with miss mackenzie's landlady and give up the lodgings. there was much that was disagreeable in this. miss mackenzie having just rejected mr rubb's suit, did not feel quite comfortable in giving him a commission to see all her stockings and petticoats packed up and brought away from the lodgings. indeed, she could give him no commission of the kind, but intimated her intention of writing to the lodging-house keeper. he, however, was profuse in his assurances that nothing should be left behind, and if miss mackenzie would tell him anything of the way in which the things ought to be packed, he would be so happy to attend to her! to him miss mackenzie would give no such instructions, but, doubtless, she gave many to susanna.
as to susanna, it was settled that she should remain as a boarder at the littlebath school, at any rate for the next half-year. after that there might be great doubt whether her aunt could bear the expense of maintaining her in such a position.
miss mackenzie had reconciled herself to going to the cedars because she would thus have an opportunity of seeing her lawyer and arranging about her property, whereas had she been down at littlebath there would have been a difficulty. and she wanted some one whom she could trust to act for her, some one besides the lawyer, and she thought that she could trust her cousin, john ball. as to getting away from all her suitors that was impossible. had she gone to littlebath there was one there; had she remained with her sister-in-law, she would have been always near another; and, on going to the cedars, she would meet the third. but she could not on that account absolutely isolate herself from everybody that she knew in the world. and, perhaps, she was getting somewhat used to her suitors, and less liable than she had been to any fear that they could force her into action against her own consent. so she went to the cedars, and, on arriving there, received from her uncle and aunt but a moderate amount of condolence as to the death of her brother.
her first and second days in her aunt's house were very quiet. nothing was said of john's former desires, and nothing about her own money or her brother's family. on the morning of the third day she told her cousin that she would, on the next morning, accompany him to town if he would allow her. "i am going to mr slow's," said she, "and perhaps you could go with me." to this he assented willingly, and then, after a pause, surmised that her visit must probably have reference to the sale of her houses to the railway company. "partly to that," she said, "but it chiefly concerns arrangements for my brother's family."
to this john ball said nothing, nor did lady ball, who was present, then speak. but miss mackenzie could see that her aunt looked at her cousin, opening her eyes, and expressing concern. john ball himself allowed no change to come upon his face, but went on deliberately with his bread and butter. "i shall be very happy to go with you," he said, "and will either come and call for you when you have done, or stay with you while you are there, just as you like."
"i particularly want you to stay with me," said she, "and as we go up to town i will tell you all about it."
she observed that before her cousin left the house on that day, his mother got hold of him and was alone with him for nearly half an hour. after that, lady ball was alone with sir john, in his own room, for another half hour. the old baronet had become older, of course, and much weaker, since his niece had last been at the cedars, and was now seldom seen about the house till the afternoon.
of all the institutions at the cedars that of the carriage was the most important. miss mackenzie found that the carriage arrangement had been fixed upon a new and more settled basis since her last visit. then it used to go out perhaps as often as three times a week. but there did not appear to be any fixed rule. like other carriages, it did, to a certain degree, come when it was wanted. but now there was, as i have said, a settled basis. the carriage came to the door on tuesdays, thursdays, and saturdays, exactly at two o'clock, and sir john with lady ball were driven about till four.
on the first tuesday of her visit miss mackenzie had gone with her uncle and aunt, and even she had found the pace to be very slow, and the whole affair to be very dull. her uncle had once enlivened the thing by asking her whether she had found any lovers since she went to littlebath, and this question had perplexed her very much. she could not say that she had found none, and as she was not prepared to acknowledge that she had found any, she could only sit still and blush.
"women have plenty of lovers when they have plenty of money," said the baronet.
"i don't believe that margaret thinks of anything of the kind," said lady ball.
after that margaret determined to have as little to do with the carriage as possible, and on that evening she learned from her cousin that the horses had been sold to the man who farmed the land, and were hired every other day for two hours' work.
it was on the thursday morning that miss mackenzie had spoken of going into town on the morrow, and on that day when her aunt asked her about the driving, she declined.
"i hope that nothing your uncle said on tuesday annoyed you?"
"oh dear, no; but if you don't mind it, i'd rather stay at home."
"of course you shall if you like it," said her aunt; "and by-the-by, as i want to speak to you, and as we might not find time after coming home, if you don't mind it i'll do it now."
of course margaret said that she did not mind it, though in truth she did mind it, and was afraid of her aunt.
"well then, margaret, look here. i want to know something about your brother's affairs. from what i have heard, i fear they were not very good."
"they were very bad, aunt,—very bad indeed."
"dear, dear; you don't say so. sir john always feared that it would be so when thomas mackenzie mixed himself up with those rubbs. and there has gone half of jonathan ball's money,—money which sir john made! well, well!"
miss mackenzie had nothing to say to this; and as she had nothing to say to it she sat silent, making no attempt at any words.
"it does seem hard; don't it, my dear?"
"it wouldn't make any difference to anybody now—to my uncle, i mean, or to john, if the money was not gone."
"that's quite true; quite true; only it does seem to be a pity. however, that half of jonathan's money which you have got, is not lost, and there's some comfort in that."
miss mackenzie was not called upon to make any answer to this; for although she had lost a large sum of money by lending it to her brother, nevertheless she was still possessed of a larger sum of money than that which her brother walter had received from jonathan ball.
"and what are they going to do, my dear—the children, i mean, and the widow? i suppose there'll be something for them out of the business?"
"i don't think there'll be anything, aunt. as far as i can understand there will be nothing certain. they may probably get a hundred and twenty-five pounds a-year." this she named, as being the interest of the money she had lent—or given.
"a hundred and twenty-five pounds a-year. that isn't much, but it will keep them from absolute want."
"would it, aunt?"
"oh, yes; at least, i suppose so. i hope she's a good manager. she ought to be, for she's a very disagreeable woman. you told me that yourself, you know."
then miss mackenzie, having considered for one moment, resolved to make a clean breast of it all, and this she did with the fewest possible words.
"i'm going to divide what i've got with them, and i hope it will make them comfortable."
"what!" exclaimed her aunt.
"i'm going to give sarah half what i've got, for her and her children. i shall have enough to live on left."
"margaret, you don't mean it?"
"not mean it? why not, aunt? you would not have me let them starve. besides, i promised my brother when he was dying."
"then i must say he was very wrong, very wicked, i may say, to exact any such promise from you; and no such promise is binding. if you ask sir john, or your lawyer, they will tell you so. what! exact a promise from you to the amount of half your income. it was very wrong."
"but, aunt, i should do the same if i had made no promise."
"no, you wouldn't, my dear. your friends wouldn't let you. and indeed your friends must prevent it now. they will not hear of such a sacrifice being made."
"but, aunt—"
"well, my dear."
"it's my own, you know." and margaret, as she said this, plucked up her courage, and looked her aunt full in the face.
"yes, it is your own, by law; but i don't suppose, my dear, that you are of that disposition or that character that you'd wish to set all the world at defiance, and make everybody belonging to you feel that you had disgraced yourself."
"disgraced myself by relieving my brother's family!"
"disgraced yourself by giving to that woman money that has come to you as your fortune has come. think of it, where it came from!"
"it came to me from my brother walter."
"and where did he get it? and who made it? and don't you know that your brother tom had his share of it, and wasted it all? did it not all come from the balls? and yet you think so little of that, that you are going to let that woman rob you of it—rob you and my grandchildren; for that, i tell you, is the way in which the world will look at it. perhaps you don't know it, but all that property was as good as given to john at one time. who was it first took you by the hand when you were left all alone in arundel street? oh, margaret, don't go and be such an ungrateful, foolish creature!"
margaret waited for a moment, and then she answered—
"there's nobody so near to me as my own brother's children."
"as to that, margaret, there isn't much difference in nearness between your uncle and your nephews and nieces. but there's a right and a wrong in these things, and when money is concerned, people are not justified in indulging their fancies. everything here has been told to you. you know how john is situated with his children. and after what there has been between you and him, and after what there still might be if you would have it so, i own that i am astonished—fairly astonished. indeed, my dear, i can only look on it as simple weakness on your part. it was but the other day that you told me you had done all that you thought necessary by your brother in taking susanna."
"but that was when he was alive, and i thought he was doing well."
"the fact is, you have been there and they've talked you over. it can't be that you love children that you never saw till the other day; and as for the woman, you always hated her."
"whether i love her or hate her has nothing to do with it."
"margaret, will you promise me this, that you will see mr slow and talk to him about it before you do anything?"
"i must see mr slow before i can do anything; but whatever he says, i shall do it all the same."
"will you speak to your uncle?"
"i had rather not."
"you are afraid to tell him of this; but of course he must be told. will you speak to john?"
"certainly; i meant to do so going to town to-morrow."
"and if he tells you you are wrong—"
"aunt, i know i am not wrong. it is nonsense to say that i am wrong in—"
"that's disrespectful, margaret!"
"i don't want to be disrespectful, aunt; but in such a case as this i know that i have a right to do what i like with my own money. if i was going to give it away to any other friend, if i was going to marry, or anything like that,"—she blushed at the remembrance of the iniquities she had half intended as she said this—"then there might be some reason for you to scold me; but with a brother and a brother's family it can't be wrong. if you had a brother, and had been with him when he was dying, and he had left his wife and children looking to you, you would have done the same."
upon this lady ball got up from her chair and walked to the door. margaret had been more impetuous and had answered her with much more confidence than she had expected. she was determined now to say one more word, but so to say it that it should not be answered—to strike one more blow, but so to strike it that it should not be returned.
"margaret," she said, as she stood with the door open in her hands, "if you will reflect where the money came from, your conscience will tell you without much difficulty where it should go to. and when you think of your brother's children, whom this time last year you had hardly seen, think also of john ball's children, who have welcomed you into this house as their dearest relative. in one sense, certainly, the money is yours, margaret; but in another sense, and that the highest sense, it is not yours to do what you please with it."
then lady ball shut the door rather loudly, and sailed away along the hall. when the passages were clear, miss mackenzie made her way up into her own room, and saw none of the family till she came down just before dinner.
she sat for a long time in the chair by her bed-side thinking of her position. was it true after all that she was bound by a sense of justice to give any of her money to the balls? it was true that in one sense it had been taken from them, but she had had nothing to do with the taking. if her brother walter had married and had children, then the balls would have not expected the money back again. it was ever so many years,—five-and-twenty years, and more since the legacy had been made by jonathan ball to her brother, and it seemed to her that her aunt had no common sense on her side in the argument. was it possible that she should allow her own nephews and nieces to starve while she was rich? she had, moreover, made a promise,—a promise to one who was now dead, and there was a solemnity in that which carried everything else before it. even though the thing might be unjust, still she must do it.
but she was to give only half her fortune to her brother's family; there would still be the half left for herself, for herself or for these balls if they wanted it so sorely. she was beginning to hate her money. it had brought to her nothing but tribulation and disappointment. had walter left her a hundred a year, she would, not having then dreamed of higher things, have been amply content. would it not be better that she should take for herself some modest competence, something on which she might live without trouble to her relatives, without trouble to her friends she had first said,—but as she did so she told herself with scorn that friends she had none,—and then let the balls have what was left her after she had kept her promise to her brother? anything would be better than such persecution as that to which her aunt had subjected her.
at last she made up her mind to speak of it all openly to her cousin. she had an idea that in such matters men were more trustworthy than women, and perhaps less greedy. her cousin would, she thought, be more just to her than her aunt had been. that her aunt had been very unjust,—cruel and unjust,—she felt assured.
she came down to dinner, and she could see by the manner of them all that the matter had been discussed since john ball's return from london. jack, the eldest son, was not at home, and the three girls who came next to jack dined with their father and grandfather. to them margaret endeavoured to talk easily, but she failed. they had never been favourites with her as jack was, and, on this occasion, she could get very little from them that was satisfactory to her. john ball was courteous to her, but he was very silent throughout the whole evening. her aunt showed her displeasure by not speaking to her, or speaking barely with a word. her uncle, of whose voice she was always in fear, seemed to be more cross, and when he did speak, more sarcastic than ever. he asked her whether she intended to go back to littlebath.
"i think not," said she.
"then that has been a failure, i suppose," said the old man.
"everything is a failure, i think," said she, with tears in her eyes.
this was in the drawing-room, and immediately her cousin john came and sat by her. he came and sat there, as though he had intended to speak to her; but he went away again in a minute or two without having uttered a word. things went on in the same way till they moved off to bed, and then the formal adieus for the night were made with a coldness that amounted, on the part of lady ball, almost to inhospitality.
"good-night, margaret," she said, as she just put out the tip of her finger.
"good-night, my dear," said sir john. "i don't know what's the matter with you, but you look as though you'd been doing something that you were ashamed of."
lady ball was altogether injudicious in her treatment of her niece. as to sir john, it made probably very little difference. miss mackenzie had perceived, when she first came to the cedars, that he was a cross old man, and that he had to be endured as such by any one who chose to go into that house. but she had depended on lady ball for kindness of manner, and had been tempted to repeat her visits to the house because her aunt had, after her fashion, been gracious to her. but now there was rising in her breast a feeling that she had better leave the cedars as soon as she could shake the dust off her feet, and see nothing more of the balls. even the rubb connection seemed to her to be better than the ball connection, and less exaggerated in its greediness. were it not for her cousin john, she would have resolved to go on the morrow. she would have faced the indignation of her aunt, and the cutting taunts of her uncle, and have taken herself off at once to some lodging in london. but john ball had meant to be kind to her when he came and sat close to her on the sofa, and her soft heart relented towards him.
lady ball had in truth mistaken her niece's character. she had found her to be unobtrusive, gentle, and unselfish; and had conceived that she must therefore be weak and compliant. as to many things she was compliant, and as to some things she was weak; but there was in her composition a power of resistance and self-sustenance on which lady ball had not counted. when conscious of absolute ill-usage, she could fight well, and would not bow her neck to any mrs stumfold or to any lady ball.
