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CHAPTER XIII. — MAD NANCE.

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mr. galloway was in his office. mr. galloway was fuming and fretting at the non-arrival of his clerk, mr. jenkins. mr. jenkins was a punctual man; in fact, more than punctual: his proper time for arriving at the office was half-past nine; but the cathedral clock had rarely struck the quarter-past before mr. jenkins would be at his post. almost any other morning it would not have mattered a straw to mr. galloway whether jenkins was a little after or a little before his time; but on this particular morning he had especial need of him, and had come himself to the office unusually early.

one-two, three-four! chimed the quarters of the cathedral. “there it goes—half-past nine!” ejaculated mr. galloway. “what does jenkins mean by it? he knew he was wanted early.”

a sharp knock at the office door, and there entered a little dark woman, in a black bonnet and a beard. she was mr. jenkins’s better half, and had the reputation for being considerably the grey mare.

“good morning, mr. galloway. a pretty kettle of fish, this is!”

“what’s the matter now?” asked mr. galloway, surprised at the address. “where’s jenkins?”

“jenkins is in bed with his head plastered up. he’s the greatest booby living, and would positively have come here all the same, but i told him i’d strap him down with cords if he attempted it. a pretty object he’d have looked, staggering through the streets, with his head big enough for two, and held together with white plaster!”

“what has he done to his head?” wondered mr. galloway.

“good gracious! have you not heard?” exclaimed the lady, whose mode of speech was rarely overburdened with polite words, though she meant no disrespect by it. “he got locked up in the cloisters last night with old ketch and the bishop.”

mr. galloway stared at her. he had been dining, the previous evening, with some friends at the other end of the town, and knew nothing of the occurrence. had he been within hearing when the college bell tolled out at night, he would have run to ascertain the cause as eagerly as any schoolboy. “locked up in the cloisters with old ketch and the bishop!” he repeated, in amazement. “i do not understand.”

mrs. jenkins proceeded to enlighten him. she gave the explanation of the strange affair of the keys, as it had been given to her by the unlucky joe. while telling it, arthur channing entered, and, almost immediately afterwards, roland yorke.

“the bishop, of all people!” uttered mr. galloway. “what an untoward thing for his lordship!”

“no more untoward for him than for others,” retorted the lady. “it just serves jenkins right. what business had he to go dancing through the cloisters with old ketch and his keys?”

“but how did jenkins get hurt?” asked mr. galloway, for that particular point had not yet been touched upon.

“he is the greatest fool going, is jenkins,” was the complimentary retort of jenkins’s wife. “after he had helped to ring out the bell, he must needs go poking and groping into the organ-loft, hunting for matches or some such insane rubbish. he might have known, had he possessed any sense, that candles and matches are not likely to be there in summer-time! why, if the organist wanted ever so much to stop in after dark, when the college is locked up for the night, he wouldn’t be allowed to do it! it’s only in winter, when he has to light a candle to get through the afternoon service, that they keep matches and dips up there.”

“but about his head?” repeated mr. galloway, who was aware of the natural propensity of mrs. jenkins to wander from the point under discussion.

“yes, about his head!” she wrathfully answered. “in attempting to descend the stairs again, he missed his footing, and pitched right down to the bottom of the flight. that’s how his head came in for it. he wants a nurse with him always, does jenkins, for he is no better than a child in leading-strings.”

“is he much hurt?”

“and there he’d have lain till morning, but for the bishop,” resumed mrs. jenkins, passing over the inquiry. “after his lordship got out, he, finding jenkins did not come, told thorpe to go and look for him in the organ-loft. thorpe said he should have done nothing of the sort, but for the bishop’s order; he was just going to lock the great doors again, and there jenkins would have been fast! they found him lying at the foot of the stairs, just inside the choir gates, with no more life in him than there is in a dead man.”

“i asked you whether he is seriously hurt, mrs. jenkins.”

“pretty well. he came to his senses as they were bringing him home, and somebody ran for hurst, the surgeon. he is better this morning.”

“but not well enough to come to business?”

“hurst told him if he worried himself with business, or anything else to-day, he’d get brain fever as sure as a gun. he ordered him to stop in bed and keep quiet, if he could.”

“of course he must do so,” observed mr. galloway.

“there is no of course in it, when men are the actors,” dissented mrs. jenkins. “hurst did well to say ‘if he could,’ when ordering him to keep quiet. i’d rather have an animal ill in the house, than i’d have a man—they are ten times more reasonable. there has jenkins been, tormenting himself ever since seven o’clock this morning about coming here; he was wanted particularly, he said. ‘would you go if you were dead?’ i asked him; and he stood it out that if he were dead it would be a different thing. ‘not different at all,’ i said. a nice thing it would be to have to nurse him through a brain fever!”

“i am grieved that it should have happened,” said mr. galloway, kindly. “tell him from me, that we can manage very well without him. he must not venture here again, until mr. hurst says he may come with safety.”

“i should have told him that, to pacify him, whether you had said it or not,” candidly avowed mrs. jenkins. “and now i must go back home on the run. as good have no one to mind my shop as that young house-girl of ours. if a customer comes in for a pair of black stockings, she’ll take and give ‘em a white knitted nightcap. she’s as deficient of common sense as jenkins is. your servant, sir. good morning, young gentlemen!”

“here, wait a minute!” cried mr. galloway, as she was speeding off. “i cannot understand at all. the keys could not have been changed as they lay on the flags.”

“neither can anybody else understand it,” returned mrs. jenkins. “if jenkins was not a sober man—and he had better let me catch him being anything else!—i should say the two, him and ketch, had had a drop too much. the bishop himself could make neither top nor tail of it. it’ll teach jenkins not to go gallivanting again after other folk’s business!”

she finally turned away, and mr. galloway set himself to revolve the perplexing narrative. the more he thought, the less he was nearer doing so; like the bishop, he could make neither top nor tail of it. “it is entirely beyond belief!” he remarked to arthur channing; “unless ketch took out the wrong keys!”

“and if he took out the wrong keys, how could he have locked the south door?” interrupted roland yorke. “i’d lay anybody five shillings that those mischievous scamps of college boys were at the bottom of it; i taxed gerald with it, and he flew out at me for my pains. but the seniors may not have been in it. you should have heard the bell clank out last night, mr. galloway!”

“i suppose it brought out a few,” was mr. galloway’s rejoinder.

“it did that,” said arthur channing. “myself for one. when i saw the bishop emerge from the college doors, i could scarcely believe my sight.”

“i’d have given half-a-crown to see him!” cried roland yorke. “if there’s any fun going on, it is sure to be my fate to miss it. cator was at my house, having a cigar with me; and, though we heard the bell, we did not disturb ourselves to see what it might mean.”

“what is your opinion of last night’s work, arthur?” asked mr. galloway, returning to the point.

arthur’s opinion was a very decided one, but he did not choose to say so. the meeting with the college boys at their stealthy post in the cloisters, when he and hamish were passing through at dusk, a few nights before, coupled with the hints then thrown out of the “serving out” of ketch, could leave little doubt as to the culprits. arthur returned an answer, couched in general terms.

“could it have been the college boys, think you?” debated mr. galloway.

“not being a college boy, i cannot speak positively, sir,” he said, laughing. “gaunt knows nothing of it. i met him as i was going home to breakfast from my early hour’s work here, and he told me he did not. there would have been no harm done, after all, but for the accident to jenkins.”

“one of you gentlemen can just step in to see jenkins in the course of the day, and reassure him that he is not wanted,” said mr. galloway. “i know how necessary it is to keep the mind tranquil in any fear of brain affection.”

no more was said, and the occupation of the day began. a busy day was that at mr. galloway’s, much to the chagrin of roland yorke, who had an unconquerable objection to doing too much. he broke out into grumblings at arthur, when the latter came running in from his duty at college.

“i’ll tell you what is, channing; you ought not to have made the bargain to go to that bothering organ on busy days; and galloway must have been out of his mind to let you make it. look at the heap of work there is to do!”

“i will soon make up for the lost hour,” said arthur, setting to with a will. “where’s mr. galloway?”

“gone to the bank,” grumbled roland. “and i have had to answer a dozen callers-in at least, and do all my writing besides. i wonder what possessed jenkins to go and knock his head to powder?”

mr. galloway shortly returned, and sat down to write. it was a thing he rarely did; he left writing to his clerks, unless it was the writing of letters. by one o’clock the chief portion of the work was done, and mr. roland yorke’s spirits recovered their elasticity. he went home to dinner, as usual. arthur preferred to remain at his post, and get on further, sending the housekeeper’s little maid out for a twopenny roll, which he ate as he wrote. he was of a remarkably conscientious nature, and thought it only fair to sacrifice a little time in case of need, in return for the great favour which had been granted him by mr. galloway. many of the families who had sons in the college school dined at one o’clock, as it was the most convenient hour for the boys. growing youths are not satisfied with anything less substantial than a dinner in the middle of the day, and two dinners in a household tell heavily upon the house-keeping. the channings did not afford two, neither did lady augusta yorke; so their hour was one o’clock.

“what a muff you must be to go without your dinner!” cried roland yorke to arthur, when he returned at two o’clock. “i wouldn’t.”

“i have had my dinner,” said arthur.

“what did you have?” cried roland, pricking up his ears. “did galloway send to the hotel for roast ducks and green peas? that’s what we had at home, and the peas were half-boiled, and the ducks were scorched, and cooked without stuffing. a wretched set of incapables our house turns out! and my lady does not know how to alter it. you have actually finished that deed, channing?”

“it is finished, you see. it is surprising how much one can do in a quiet hour!”

“is galloway out?”

arthur pointed with his pen to the door of mr. galloway’s private room, to indicate that he was in it. “he is writing letters.”

“i say, channing, there’s positively nothing left to do,” went on roland, casting his eyes over the desk. “here are these leases, but they are not wanted until to-morrow. who says we can’t work in this office?”

arthur laughed good-naturedly, to think of the small amount, out of that day’s work, which had fallen to roland’s share.

some time elapsed. mr. galloway came into their room from his own to consult a “bradshaw,” which lay on the shelf, alongside jenkins’s desk. he held in his hand a very closely-written letter. it was of large, letter-paper size, and appeared to be filled to the utmost of its four pages. while he was looking at the book, the cathedral clock chimed the three-quarters past two, and the bell rang for divine service.

“it can never be that time of day!” exclaimed mr. galloway, in consternation, as he took out his watch. “sixteen minutes to three! and i am a minute slow! how has the time passed? i ought to have been at—”

mr. galloway brought his words to a standstill, apparently too absorbed in the railway guide to conclude them. roland yorke, who had a free tongue, even with his master, filled up the pause.

“were you going out, sir?”

“is that any business of yours, mr. roland? talking won’t fill in that lease, sir.”

“the lease is not in a hurry, sir,” returned incorrigible roland. but he held his tongue then, and bent his head over his work.

mr. galloway dipped his pen in the ink, and copied something from “bradshaw” into the closely-written letter, standing at jenkins’s desk to do it; then he passed the blotting-paper quickly over the words, and folded the letter.

“channing,” he said, speaking very hastily, “you will see a twenty-pound bank-note on my desk, and the directed envelope of this letter; bring them here.”

arthur went, and brought forth the envelope and bank-note. mr. galloway doubled the note in four and slipped it between the folds of the letter, putting both into the envelope. he had fastened it down, when a loud noise and commotion was heard in the street. curious as are said to be antiquated maidens, mr. galloway rushed to the window and threw it up, his two clerks attending in his wake.

something very fine, in a white dress, and pink and scarlet flowers on her bonnetless head, as if attired for an evening party, was whirling round the middle of the road in circles: a tall woman, who must once have been beautiful. she appeared to be whirling someone else with her, amid laughter and shrieks, and cries and groans, from the gathering mob.

“it is mad nance!” uttered mr. galloway. “poor thing! she really ought to be in confinement.”

so every one had said for a long time, but no one bestirred themselves to place her in it. this unfortunate creature, mad nance, as she was called, was sufficiently harmless to be at large on sufferance, and sufficiently mad at times to put a street in an uproar. in her least sane moments she would appear, as now, in an old dimity white dress, scrupulously washed and ironed, and decorated with innumerable frills; some natural flowers, generally wild ones, in her hair. dandelions were her favourites; she would make them into a wreath, and fasten it on, letting her entangled hair hang beneath. to-day she had contrived to pick up some geranium blossoms, scarlet and pink.

“who has she got hold of there?” exclaimed mr. galloway. “he does not seem to like it.”

arthur burst into laughter when he discovered that it was harper, the lay-clerk. this unlucky gentleman, who had been quietly and inoffensively proceeding up close street on his way to service in the cathedral, was seized upon by mad nance by the hands. he was a thin, weak little man, a very reed in her strong grasp. she shrieked, she laughed, she danced, she flew with him round and round. he shrieked also; his hat was off, his wig was gone; and it was half the business of mr. harper’s life to make that wig appear as his own hair. he talked, he raved, he remonstrated; i am very much afraid that he swore. mr. galloway laughed till the tears ran down his cheeks.

the crowd was parted by an authoritative hand, and the same hand, gentle now, laid its firmness upon the woman and released the prisoner. it was hamish channing who had come to the rescue, suppressing his mirth as he best could while he effected it.

“i’ll have the law of her!” panted harper, as he picked up his hat and wig. “if there’s justice to be got in helstonleigh, she shall suffer for this! it’s a town’s shame to let her go about, molesting peaceable wayfarers, and shaking the life out of them!”

something at a distance appeared to attract the attention of the unhappy woman, and she flew away. hamish and mr. harper were left alone in the streets, the latter still exploding with wrath, and vowing all sorts of revenge.

“put up with it quietly, harper,” advised hamish. “she is like a little child, not accountable for her actions.”

“that’s just like you, mr. hamish channing. if they took your head off, you’d put up with it! how would you like your wig flung away in the sight of a whole street?”

“i don’t wear one,” answered hamish, laughing. “here’s your hat; not much damaged, apparently.”

mr. harper, settling his wig on his head, and composing himself as he best could, continued his way to the cathedral, turning his hat about in his hand, and closely looking at it. hamish stepped across to mr. galloway’s, meeting that gentleman at the door.

“a good thing you came up as you did, mr. hamish. harper will remember mad nance for a year to come.”

“i expect he will,” replied hamish, laughing still. mr. galloway laughed also, and walked hastily down the street.

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