the next day was the 30th of december, a day of bitter frost, so that the dee froze over, and the way which had been broken for the boats to ferry the presbytery across from the dangerous bounds of balmaghie was again filled with floating ice.
the kirk of crossmichael sits, like that of balmaghie, on a little green hill above dee water. one house of prayer fronts the other, and the white kirkyard stones greet each other across the river, telling the one story of earth to earth. and every sabbath day across the sluggish stream two songs of praise go up to heaven in united aspiration towards one eternal father.
but this 30th of december there was for quintin macclellan small community of lofty fellowship across the water in crossmichael. it was to me of all days the day bitterest and{226} blackest. i have indeed good cause to remember it.
right well was i advised that, so far as the ministers of the presbytery were concerned, there was no hope of any outcome favourable to me. they had only been scared from their prey for a moment by the stern threatening of the folk of the parish. the people’s paper in particular had frightened them like a sentence of death. but now they were free to make an end.
my brother hob was keen to head a band pledged to keep them out of crossmichael kirk also. but i forbade him to cross the water.
“keep your own kirk and your own parish bounds if ye like, but meddle not with those of your neighbours!” i told him. “besides ye would only drive them to another place, where yet more bitterly they would finish their appointed work!”
but though the former stress of trial was over, this day of quiet was far harder to bear than the day before. for, then, with the excitation of battle, the plaudits of the people, the quick necessities of verbal defence against many adversaries, my spirits were kept up. but now there was none in the manse beside{227} myself, and i took to wandering up and down the little sequestered kirk-loaning, thinking how that by this time the presbytery was met to speed my doom, and that the pleasant place which knew me now would soon know me no more for ever.
as i lingered at the road-end, thinking how much i would have given for a heartening word, and vaguely resolving to betake me over to the house of drumglass, where at the least i was sure of companionship and consolation, i chanced to cast my eyes to the southward, and there along the light grey riverside track i beheld a lady riding.
as she came nearer, i saw that it was none other than mistress mary gordon. i thought i had never seen her look winsomer—a rounded lissom form, a perfect seat, a dainty and well-ordered carriage.
i stood still where i was and waited for her to pass me. i had my hat in my hand, and in my heart i counted on nothing but that she should ride by me as though she saw me not.
but on the contrary, she reined her horse and sat waiting for me to speak to her.
so i went to her bridle-rein and looked up at the face, and lo! it was kindlier than ever i{228} had seen it before, with a sort of loving pity on it which i found it very hard to bear.
“will you let me walk by your side a little way?” i asked of her. for as we had parted without a farewell, so on this bitterest day we met again without greeting.
“my lady mary,” i said at last, “i have gone through much since i went out from your house at earlstoun. i have yet much to win through. we parted in anger but let us meet in peace. i am a man outcast and friendless, save for these foolish few in this parish who to their cost have made my quarrel theirs.”
at this she looked right kindly down upon me and paused a little before she answered.
“quintin,” she said, “there is no anger in my heart anywhere. there is only a great wae. i have come from the place of balmaghie where my cousin kate of lochinvar waits her good father’s passing.”
“and ride you home to the earlstoun alone?” i asked.
“aye,” she said, a little wistfully. and the saying cheered me. for this river way was not the girl’s straight road homeward, and it came to me that mayhap mary gordon had wished to meet and comfort me in my sorrow.{229}
“my father is abroad, we know not well where,” she said, “or doubtless he would gladly support you in the way that you have chosen. perhaps your way is not my way, but it must be a good way of its kind, the way of a man’s conscience.”
she reached down a hand to me, which i took and pressed gratefully enough.
it was then that we came in sight of the white house of drumglass sitting above the water-meadows. at the first glimpse of it the lady mary drew away her hand from mine.
“is it true,” she said, looking at the blue ridges of cairnsmore in the distance, “that which i have been told, that you are to wed a daughter of that house?”
i inclined my head without speech. i knew that the bitterest part of my punishment was now come upon me.
“and did you come straight from the earlstoun to offer her also your position, your well-roofed manse, your income good as that of any laird?”
we had stopped in a sheltered place by the river where the hazel bushes are many and the gorse grows long and rank, mingling with the bloom and the fringing bog-myrtle.{230}
“my lady mary,” said i, after a pause, “i offered her not anything. i had nothing to offer. but in time of need she let me see the warmth of her heart and—i had none other comfort!”
“then upon this day of days why are you not by her side, that her love may ease the smart of your bitter outcasting?”
“in yonder kirk mine enemies work my doom,” said i, pointing over the water, “and ere another sun rise i shall be no more minister of balmaghie, but a homeless man, without either a rooftree or a reeking ingle. i have nothing to offer any woman. why should i claim this day any woman’s love?”
“ah,” she said, giving me the strangest look, “it is her hour. for if she loves you, she would fly to-day to share your dry crust, your sapless bite. see,” she cried, stretching out her hand with a large action, “if mary gordon loved a man, she would follow him in her sark to the world’s end. if so be his eyes had looked the deathless love into hers, his tongue told of love, love, only of love. ah, that alone is worth calling love which feeds full on the scorns of life and grows lusty on black misfortune!”{231}
“lady mary——” i began.
but she interrupted me, dashing her hand furtively to her face.
she pointed up towards the house of drumglass.
“yonder lies your way, quintin macclellan! go to the woman you love—who loves you.”
she lifted the reins from the horse’s neck and would have started forward, but again i had gotten her hand. yet i only bent and kissed it without word, reverently and sadly as one kisses the brow of the dead.
she moved away without anger and with her eyes downcast. but on the summit of a little hill she half turned about in her saddle and spoke a strange word.
“quintin,” she said, “wherefore could ye not have waited? wherefore kenned ye no better than to take a woman at her first word?”
and with that she set the spurs to her beast and went up the road toward the ford at the gallop, till almost i feared to watch her.
for a long time i stood sadly enough looking after her. and i grant that my heart was{232} like lead within me. my spirit had no power in it. i cried out to god to let me die. for it was scarce a fair thing that she should have spoken that word now when it was too late.
