what remained to me from my love of macaulay was a love of criticism, and i read almost as much in criticism as i read in poetry and history and fiction. it was of an eccentric doctor, another of the village characters, that i got the works of edgar a. poe; i do not know just how, but it must have been in some exchange of books; he preferred metaphysics. at any rate i fell greedily upon them, and i read with no less zest than his poems the bitter, and cruel, and narrow-minded criticisms which mainly filled one of the volumes. as usual, i accepted them implicitly, and it was not till long afterwards that i understood how worthless they were.
i think that hardly less immoral than the lubricity of literature, and its celebration of the monkey and the goat in us, is the spectacle such criticism affords of the tigerish play of satire. it is monstrous that for no offence but the wish to produce something beautiful, and the mistake of his powers in that direction, a writer should become the prey of some ferocious wit, and that his tormentor should achieve credit by his lightness and ease in rending his prey; it is shocking to think how alluring and depraving the fact is to the young reader emulous of such credit, and eager to achieve it. because i admired these barbarities of poe's, i wished to irritate them, to spit some hapless victim on my own spear, to make him suffer and to make the reader laugh. this is as far as possible from the criticism that enlightens and ennobles, but it is still the ideal of most critics, deny it as they will; and because it is the ideal of most critics criticism still remains behind all the other literary arts.
i am glad to remember that at the same time i exulted in these ferocities i had mind enough and heart enough to find pleasure in the truer and finer work, the humaner work of other writers, like hazlitt, and leigh hunt, and lamb, which became known to me at a date i cannot exactly fix. i believe it was hazlitt whom i read first, and he helped me to clarify and formulate my admiration of shakespeare as no one else had yet done; lamb helped me too, and with all the dramatists, and on every hand i was reaching out for light that should enable me to place in literary history the authors i knew and loved.
i fancy it was well for me at this period to have got at the four great english reviews, the edinburgh, the westminster, the london quarterly, and the north british, which i read regularly, as well as blackwood's magazine. we got them in the american editions in payment for printing the publisher's prospectus, and their arrival was an excitement, a joy, and a satisfaction with me, which i could not now describe without having to accuse myself of exaggeration. the love of literature, and the hope of doing something in it, had become my life to the exclusion of all other interests, or it was at least the great reality, and all other things were as shadows. i was living in a time of high political tumult, and i certainly cared very much for the question of slavery which was then filling the minds of men; i felt deeply the shame and wrong of our fugitive slave law; i was stirred by the news from kansas, where the great struggle between the two great principles in our nationality was beginning in bloodshed; but i cannot pretend that any of these things were more than ripples on the surface of my intense and profound interest in literature. if i was not to live by it, i was somehow to live for it.
if i thought of taking up some other calling it was as a means only; literature was always the end i had in view, immediately or finally. i did not see how it was to yield me a living, for i knew that almost all the literary men in the country had other professions; they were editors, lawyers, or had public or private employments; or they were men of wealth; there was then not one who earned his bread solely by his pen in fiction, or drama, or history, or poetry, or criticism, in a day when people wanted very much less butter on their bread than they do now. but i kept blindly at my studies, and yet not altogether blindly, for, as i have said, the reading i did had more tendency than before, and i was beginning to see authors in their proportion to one another, and to the body of literature.
the english reviews were of great use to me in this; i made a rule of reading each one of them quite through. to be sure i often broke this rule, as people are apt to do with rules of the kind; it was not possible for a boy to wade through heavy articles relating to english politics and economics, but i do not think i left any paper upon a literary topic unread, and i did read enough politics, especially in blackwood's, to be of tory opinions; they were very fit opinions for a boy, and they did not exact of me any change in regard to the slavery question.
