louie stood long at the window, with the paper still clutched eagerly in her hand, afraid to open it and read the answer, and yet longing to know what the young people's monitor had to say in reply to "egeria." so she watched harry go down to the bathing machines and enter one—it was still early in the season, and he had no need to wait; and then she watched them turning the windlass and letting it run down upon the shelving beach; and then she watched harry swimming out and stemming the waves in his bold, manly fashion—he was a splendid swimmer; and after that, unable any longer to restrain her curiosity, she tore the paper open with her finger, and glanced down the correspondence column till she reached the expected answer to "egeria."
she read it over wondering and trembling, with a sudden awful sense of the editor's omniscience as she saw the letters "h. p."—her husband's initials—harry pallant. "h. p.!" what could he mean by it? and then a vague dread came across her soul. what could "egeria" and the editor of the young people's monitor have to do with harry pallant?
she read it over again and again. how terrifying! how mysterious! how dimly incomprehensible! who on earth[pg 292] could have told the editor—that impersonal entity—that "egeria's" letter had any connection with her own husband, harry pallant? and yet he must have known it—evidently known it. and she herself had never suspected the allusion. yes, yes, it was clear to her now; the man about whom "egeria" had written was harry—harry—harry—harry. could it have been that that had so troubled him of late? she couldn't bear to distrust harry; but it must have been that, and nothing else. harry was in love with dora ferrand; or, if not, dora ferrand was in love with harry, and harry knew it, and was afraid he might yield to her, and had ran away from her accordingly. he had come to bilborough on purpose to escape her—to drag himself away from her—to try to forget her. oh, harry, harry!—and she loved him so truly. to think he should deceive her—to think he should keep anything from her! it was too terrible—too terrible! she couldn't bear to think it, and yet the evidence forced it upon her.
but how did the editor ever come to know about it? and what was this mysterious, awful message that he gave dora about harry pallant?
"you need not fear that h. p. will any longer prove a trouble to you." why? did harry mean to leave london altogether? was he afraid to trust himself there with dora ferrand? did he fear that she would steal his heart in spite of him? oh, dora, dora! the shameless creature! when louie came to think it all over, her effrontery and her wickedness were absolutely appalling.
she sat there long, turning the paper over helplessly in her hand, reading its words every way but the right way, pondering over what harry had said to her that morning, putting her own interpretation upon everything, and forgetting even to unpack her things and make herself ready for lunch in the coffee-room.
presently, a crowd upon the beach below languidly[pg 293] attracted her passing attention. the coastguard from the look-out was gesticulating frantically, and a group of sailors were seizing in haste upon a boat on the foreshore. they launched it hurriedly and pulled with all their might outward, the people on the beach gathering thicker meanwhile, and all looking eagerly towards some invisible object far out to sea, in the direction of the race with the dangerous current. louie's heart sank ominously within her. at that very moment the chambermaid of the hotel rushed in with a pale face, and cried out in merciless haste, "oh, ma'am, mrs. pallant! quick! quick!—he's drowning! he's drowning! mr. pallant's swum too far out, and's got into the race, and they've put the boat off to try and save him!"
in a second, half the truth flashed terribly upon louie pallant's distracted intelligence. she saw that it was harry himself who wrote the correspondence for the young people's monitor, and that he had swum out to sea of his own accord to the end of his tether, on purpose to drown himself as if by accident. but she didn't yet perceive, obvious as it seemed, that harry thought she herself had written "egeria's" letter in her own person. she thought still he was in love with dora, and had drowned himself because he couldn't tear himself away from her for ever.