these words of my mother, intended to settle matters happily, at once raised another cloud on my horizon.
“well then,” answered my father, “if you have taught him all you can, we must send him to college. now then, little man, don’t let me see your nose turn white.”
college! word odious to my ears, and terrible to my imagination. robert boissot, was he not at college? i could judge from this sample of a schoolboy how horrid all the rest must be. what awful things had that boy told me about his companions, who set their masters at nought and fought such terrible fights that they almost tore each other to pieces. at this fearful thought i instinctively put up my hand to my nose. if i took that poor nose to school, should i ever bring it back again?
my mother sighed as she answered my father. “i have thought, dear, that it would be hard upon our boy to send him at once to college. the college boys are so rough and inclined to bully the little ones: you see, too, paul has really not been accustomed to play with boys at all.”
“and whose fault is that?” said my father.
“i know, i know,” answered my poor mother; “but all i would say is, don’t you think it would be better to send him first to miss porquet’s school? it is so near us; there are not many pupils, and nearly all are younger than paul. miss porquet is very gentle and at the same time very firm. and the boys at that school are not always having those dreadful quarrels and fights which they have at the college. she teaches latin to several of the children, for instance to one little boy whose mother i know, and who told me yesterday that he was getting on extremely well.”
“very well,” replied my father, “let us settle it so, that he goes to miss porquet’s school first. and now, my poor little paul, you must try to be brave. fight against this terrible cowardice. little by little, if you struggle hard, you will be able to overcome your foolish fears. if you try each day to be a little more courageous, you will at length find you are as brave as anyone else. things don’t come all at once. it is only by striving hard that you can acquire a virtue or overcome a weakness.”
i promised my father to do all i could to overcome my cowardice. my mother kissed me fondly in the passage and whispered in my ear, “poor darling!”
