one day st. mael was sitting by the seashore on a warm stone that he found. he thought it had been warmed by the sun and he gave thanks to god for it, not knowing that the devil had been resting on it. the apostle was waiting for the monks of yvern who had been commissioned to bring a freight of skins and fabrics to clothe the inhabitants of the island of alca.
soon he saw a monk called magis coming ashore and carrying a chest upon his back. this monk enjoyed a great reputation for holiness.
when he had drawn near to the old man he laid the chest on the ground and wiping his forehead with the back of his sleeve, he said:
“well, father, you wish then to clothe these penguins?
“nothing is more needful, my son,” said the old man. “since they have been incorporated into the family of abraham these penguins share the curse of eve, and they know that they are naked, a thing of which they were ignorant before. and it is high time to clothe them, for they are losing the down that remained on them after their metamorphosis.”
“it is true,” said magis as he cast his eyes over the coast where the penguins were to be seen looking for shrimps, gathering mussels, singing, or sleeping, “they are naked. but do you not think, father, that it would be better to leave them naked? why clothe them? when they wear clothes and are under the moral law they will assume an immense pride, a vile hypocrisy, and an excessive cruelty.”
“is it possible, my son,” sighed the old man, “that you understand so badly the effects of the moral law to which even the heathen submit?”
“the moral law,” answered magis, “forces men who are beasts to live otherwise than beasts, a thing that doubtless puts a constraint upon them, but that also flatters and reassures them; and as they are proud, cowardly, and covetous of pleasure, they willingly submit to restraints that tickle their vanity and on which they found both their present security and the hope of their future happiness. that is the principle of all morality. . . . but let us not mislead ourselves. my companions are unloading their cargo of stuffs and skins on the island. think, father, while there is still time! to clothe the penguins is a very serious business. at present when a penguin desires a penguin he knows precisely what he desires and his lust is limited by an exact knowledge of its object. at this moment two or three couples of penguins are making love on the beach. see with what simplicity! no one pays any attention and the actors themselves do not seem to be greatly preoccupied. but when the female penguins are clothed, the male penguin will not form so exact a notion of what it is that attracts him to them. his indeterminate desires will fly out into all sorts of dreams and illusions; in short, father, he will know love and its mad torments. and all the time the female penguins will cast down their eyes and bite their lips, and take on airs as if they kept a treasure under their clothes! . . . what a pity!
“the evil will be endurable as long as these people remain rude and poor; but only wait for a thousand years and you will see, father, with what powerful weapons you have endowed the daughters of alca. if you will allow me, i can give you some idea of it beforehand. i have some old clothes in this chest. let us take at hazard one of these female penguins to whom the male penguins give such little thought, and let us dress her as well as we can.
“here is one coming towards us. she is neither more beautiful nor uglier than the others; she is young. no one looks at her. she strolls indolently along the shore, scratching her back and with her finger at her nose as she walks. you cannot help seeing, father, that she has narrow shoulders, clumsy breasts, a stout figure, and short legs. her reddish knees pucker at every step she takes, and there is, at each of her joints, what looks like a little monkey’s head. her broad and sinewy feet cling to the rock with their four crooked toes, while the great toes stick up like the heads of two cunning serpents. she begins to walk, all her muscles are engaged in the task, and, when we see them working, we think of her as a machine intended for walking rather than as a machine intended for making love, although visibly she is both, and contains within herself several other pieces of machinery besides. well, venerable apostle, you will see what i am going to make of her.”
with these words the monk, magis, reached the female penguin in three bounds, lifted her up, carried her in his arms with her hair trailing behind her, and threw her, overcome with fright, at the feet of the holy mael.
and whilst she wept and begged him to do her no harm, he took a pair of sandals out of his chest and commanded her to put them on.
“her feet,” observed the old man, “will appear smaller when squeezed in by the woollen cords. the soles, being two fingers high, will give an elegant length to her legs and the weight they bear will seem magnified.”
as the penguin tied on her sandals she threw a curious look towards the open coffer, and seeing that it was full of jewels and finery, she smiled through her tears.
the monk twisted her hair on the back of her head and covered it with a chaplet of flowers. he encircled her wrist with golden bracelets and making her stand upright, he passed a large linen band beneath her breasts, alleging that her bosom would thereby derive a new dignity and that her sides would be compressed to the greater glory of her hips.
he fixed this band with pins, taking them one by one out of his mouth.
“you can tighten it still more,” said the penguin.
when he had, with much care and study, enclosed the soft parts of her bust in this way, he covered her whole body with a rose-coloured tunic which gently followed the lines of her figure.
“does it hang well?” asked the penguin.
and bending forward with her head on one side and her chin on her shoulder, she kept looking attentively at the appearance of her toilet.
magis asked her if she did not think the dress a little long, but she answered with assurance that it was not — she would hold it up.
immediately, taking the back of her skirt in her left hand, she drew it obliquely across her hips, taking care to disclose a glimpse of her heels. then she went away, walking with short steps and swinging her hips.
she did not turn her head, but as she passed near a stream she glanced out of the corner of her eye at her own reflection.
a male penguin, who met her by chance, stopped in surprise, and retracing his steps began to follow her. as she went along the shore, others coming back from fishing, went up to her, and after looking at her, walked behind her. those who were lying on the sand got up and joined the rest.
unceasingly, as she advanced, fresh penguins, descending from the paths of the mountain, coming out of clefts of the rocks, and emerging from the water, added to the size of her retinue.
and all of them, men of ripe age with vigorous shoulders and hairy breasts, agile youths, old men shaking the multitudinous wrinkles of their rosy, and white-haired skins, or dragging their legs thinner and drier than the juniper staff that served them as a third leg, hurried on, panting and emitting an acrid odour and hoarse gasps. yet she went on peacefully and seemed to see nothing.
“father,” cried magis, “notice how each one advances with his nose pointed towards the centre of gravity of that young damsel now that the centre is covered by a garment. the sphere inspires the meditations of geometers by the number of its properties. when it proceeds from a physical and living nature it acquires new qualities, and in order that the interest of that figure might be fully revealed to the penguins it was necessary that, ceasing to see it distinctly with their eyes, they should be led to represent it to themselves in their minds. i myself feel at this moment irresistibly attracted towards that penguin. whether it be because her skirt gives more importance to her hips, and that in its simple magnificence it invests them with a synthetic and general character and allows only the pure idea, the divine principle, of them to be seen, whether this be the cause i cannot say, but i feel that if i embraced her i would hold in my hands the heaven of human pleasure. it is certain that modesty communicates an invincible attraction to women. my uneasiness is so great that it would be vain for me to try to conceal it.”
he spoke, and, gathering up his habit, he rushed among the crowd of penguins, pushing, jostling, trampling, and crushing, until he reached the daughter of alca, whom he seized and suddenly carried in his arms into a cave that had been hollowed out by the sea.
then the penguins felt as if the sun had gone out. and the holy mael knew that the devil had taken the features of the monk, magis, in order that he might give clothes to the daughter of alca. he was troubled in spirit, and his soul was sad. as with slow steps he went towards his hermitage he saw the little penguins of six and seven years of age tightening their waists with belts made of sea-weed and walking along the shore to see if anybody would follow them.
