mr. justice chaussepied.
hitherto blinded by fear, incautious and stupid before the bands of friar douillard and the partisans of prince crucho, the republicans at last opened their eyes and grasped the real meaning of the pyrot affair. the deputies who had for two years turned pale at the shouts of the patriotic crowds became, not indeed more courageous, but altered their cowardice and blamed robin mielleux for disorders which their own compliance had encouraged, and the instigators of which they had several times slavishly congratulated. they reproached him for having imperilled the republic by a weakness which was really theirs and a timidity which they themselves had imposed upon him. some of them began to doubt whether it was not to their interest to believe in pyrot’s innocence rather than in his guilt, and thence-forward they felt a bitter anguish at the thought that the unhappy man might have been wrongly convicted and that in his aerial cage he might be expiating another man’s crimes. “i cannot sleep on account of it!” was what several members of minister guillaumette’s majority used to say. but these were ambitious to replace their chief.
these generous legislators overthrew the cabinet, and the president of the republic put in robin mielleux’s place, a patriarchal republican with a flowing beard, la trinite by name, who, like most of the penguins, understood nothing about the affair, but thought that too many monks were mixed up in it.
general greatauk, before leaving the ministry of war, gave his final advice to panther, the chief of the staff.
“i go and you remain,” said he, as he shook hands with him. “the pyrot affair is my daughter; i confide her to you, she is worthy of your love and your care; she is beautiful. do not forget that her beauty loves the shade, is pleased with mystery, and likes to remain veiled. treat her modesty with gentleness. too many indiscreet looks have already profaned her charms. . . . panther, you desired proofs and you obtained them. you have many, perhaps too many, in your possession. i see that there will be many tiresome interventions and much dangerous curiosity. if i were in your place i would tear up all those documents. believe me, the best of proofs is none at all. that is the only one which nobody discusses.”
alas! general panther did not realise the wisdom of this advice. the future was only too thoroughly to justify greatauk’s perspicacity. la trinite demanded the documents belonging to the pyrot affair. peniche, his minister of war, refused them in the superior interests of the national defence, telling him that the documents under general panther’s care formed the hugest mass of archives in the world. la trinite studied the case as well as he could, and, without penetrating to the bottom of the matter, suspected it of irregularity. conformably to his rights and prerogatives he then ordered a fresh trial to be held. immediately, peniche, his minister of war, accused him of insulting the army and betraying the country, and flung his portfolio at his head. he was replaced by a second, who did the same. to him succeeded a third, who imitated these examples, and those after him to the number of seventy acted like their predecessors, until the venerable la trinite groaned beneath the weight of bellicose portfolios. the seventy-first minister of war, van julep, retained office. not that he was in disagreement with so many and such noble colleagues, but he had been commissioned by them generously to betray his prime minister, to cover him with shame and opprobrium, and to convert the new trial to the glory of greatauk, the satisfaction of the anti–pyrotists, the profit of the monks, and the restoration of prince crucho.
general van julep, though endowed with high military virtues, was not intelligent enough to employ the subtle conduct and exquisite methods of greatauk. he thought, like general panther, that tangible proofs against pyrot were necessary, that they could never have too many of them, that they could never have even enough. he expressed these sentiments to his chief of staff, who was only too inclined to agree with them.
“panther,” said he, “we are at the moment when we need abundant and superabundant proofs.”
“you have said enough, general,” answered panther, “i will complete my piles of documents.”
six months later the proofs against pyrot filled two stories of the ministry of war. the ceiling fell in beneath the weight of the bundles, and the avalanche of falling documents crushed two head clerks, fourteen second clerks, and sixty copying clerks, who were at work upon the ground floor arranging a change in the fashion of the cavalry gaiters. the walls of the huge edifice had to be propped. passers by saw with amazement enormous beams and monstrous stanchions which reared themselves obliquely against the noble front of the building now tottering and disjointed, and blocked up the streets, stopped the carriages, and presented to the motor-omnibuses an obstacle against which they dashed with their loads of passengers.
the judges who had condemned pyrot were not, properly speaking, judges but soldiers. the judges who had condemned colomban were real judges, but of inferior rank, wearing seedy black clothes like church vergers, unlucky wretches of judges, miserable judgelings. above them were the superior judges who wore ermine robes over their black gowns. these, renowned for their knowledge and doctrine, formed a court whose terrible name expressed power. it was called the court of appeal (cassation) so as to make it clear that it was the hammer suspended over the judgments and decrees of all other jurisdictions.
one of these superior red judges of the supreme court, called chaussepied, led a modest and tranquil life in a suburb of alca. his soul was pure, his heart honest, his spirit just. when he had finished studying his documents he used to play the violin and cultivate hyacinths. every sunday he dined with his neighbours the mesdemoiselles helbivore. his old age was cheerful and robust and his friends often praised the amenity of his character.
for some months, however, he had been irritable and touchy, and when he opened a newspaper his broad and ruddy face would become covered with dolorous wrinkles and darkened with an angry purple. pyrot was the cause of it. justice chaussepied could not understand how an officer could have committed so black a crime as to hand over eighty thousand trusses of military hay to a neighbouring and hostile power. and he could still less conceive how a scoundrel should have found official defenders in penguinia. the thought that there existed in his country a pyrot, a colonel hastaing, a colomban, a kerdanic, a phoenix, spoilt his hyacinths, his violin, his heaven, and his earth, all nature, and even his dinner with the mesdemoiselles helbivore!
in the mean time the pyrot case, having been presented to the supreme court by the keeper of the seals, it fell to chaussepied to examine it and discover its defects, in case any existed. although as upright and honest as a man can be, and trained by long habit to exercise his magistracy without fear or favour, he expected to find in the documents to be submitted to him proofs of certain guilt and of obvious criminality. after lengthened difficulties and repeated refusals on the part of general van julep, justice chaussepied was allowed to examine the documents. numbered and initialed they ran to the number of fourteen millions six hundred and twenty-six thousand three hundred and twelve. as he studied them the judge was at first surprised, then astonished, then stupefied, amazed, and, if i dare say so, flabbergasted. he found among the documents prospectuses of new fancy shops, newspapers, fashion-plates, paper bags, old business letters, exercise books, brown paper, green paper for rubbing parquet floors, playing cards, diagrams, six thousand copies of the “key to dreams,” but not a single document in which any mention was made of pyrot.
