portrait of the pretended countess piccolomini — quarrel and duel — esther and her father, m. d’o. — esther still taken with the cabala — piccolomini forges a bill of exchange: results i am fleeced, and in danger of being assassinated — debauch with the two paduan girls — i reveal a great secret to esther — i bate the rascally st. germain; his flight — manon baletti proves faithless to me; her letter announcing her marriage: my despair — esther spends a day with me — my portrait and my letters to manon get into esther’s hands — i pass a day with her — we talk of marrying each other

the so-called countess piccolomini was a fine example of the adventurers. she was young, tall, well-made, had eyes full of fire, and skin of a dazzling whiteness; not, however, that natural whiteness which delights those who know the value of a satin skin and rose petals, but rather that artificial fairness which is commonly to be seen at rome on the faces of courtezans, and which disgusts those who know how it is produced. she had also splendid teeth, glorious hair as black as jet, and arched eyebrows like ebony. to these advantages she added attractive manners, and there was something intelligent about the way she spoke; but through all i saw the adventuress peeping out, which made me detest her.

as she did not speak anything but italian the countess had to play the part of a mute at table, except where an english officer named walpole was concerned, who, finding her to his taste, set himself to amuse her. i felt friendly disposed towards this englishman, though my feelings were certainly not the result of sympathy. if i had been blind or deaf sir james walpole would have been totally indifferent to me, as what i felt for him was the result of my observation.

although i did not care for the countess, for all that i went up to her room after dinner with the greater part of the guests. the count arranged a game of whist, and walpole played at primero with the countess, who cheated him in a masterly manner; but though he saw it he laughed and paid, because it suited his purpose to do so. when he had lost fifty louis he called quarter, and the countess asked him to take her to the theatre. this was what the good-natured englishman wanted; and he and the countess went off, leaving the husband playing whist.

i, too, went to the play, and as chance would have it my neighbour in the pit was count tot, brother to the count famous for his stay in constantinople.

we had some conversation together, and he told me he had been obliged to leave france on account of a duel which he had had with a man who had jested with him for not being present at the battle of minden, saying that he had absented himself in view of the battle. the count had proved his courage with the sword on the other’s body — a rough kind of argument which was fashionable then as now. he told me he had no money, and i immediately put my purse at his service; but, as the saying goes, a kindness is never thrown away, and five years later he did the same by me at st. petersburg. between the acts he happened to notice the countess piccolomini, and asked me if i knew her husband. “i know him very slightly,” i answered, “but we happen to be staying at the same hotel.”

“he’s a regular black sheep,” said the count, “and his wife’s no better than he.”

it seemed that they had already won a reputation in the town.

after the play i went back to the hotel by myself, and the head- waiter told me that piccolomini had set out hot-foot with his servant, his only luggage being a light portmanteau. he did not know the reason of this sudden departure, but a minute afterwards the countess came in, and her maid having whispered something to her she told me that the count had gone away because he had fought a duel but that often happened. she asked me to sup with her and walpole, and her appetite did not seem to suffer from the absence of her spouse.

just as we were finishing supper, an englishman, who had been of the whist party, came up and told walpole that the italian had been caught cheating and had given the lie to their fellow englishman, who had detected him, and that they had gone out together. an hour afterwards the englishman returned with two wounds, one on the fore- arm and one on the shoulder. it was a trifling affair altogether.

next day, after i had had dinner with the comte d’afri, i found a letter from piccolomini, with an enclosure addressed to the countess, waiting for me at the inn. he begged me to give his wife the letter, which would inform her of his plans, and then to bring her to the ville de lyon at amsterdam, where he was staying. he wanted to know how the englishman whom he had wounded was getting on.

the duty struck me as an amusing one, and i should have laughed with all my heart if i had felt the least desire to profit by the confidence he was pleased to place in me. nevertheless i went up to the countess, whom i found sitting up in bed playing with walpole. she read the letter, told me that she could not start till the day following, and informed me what time she would go, as if it had been all settled; but i smiled sardonically, and told her that my business kept me at the hague, and that i could not possibly escort her. when walpole heard me say this he offered to be my substitute, to which she agreed. they set out the day following, intending to lie at leyden.

two days after their departure, i was sitting down to dinner with the usual company, increased by two frenchmen who had just come. after the soup one of them said, coolly,

“the famous casanova is now in holland.”

“is he?” said the other, “i shall be glad to see him, and ask for an explanation which he will not like.”

i looked at the man, and feeling certain that i had never seen him before i began to get enraged; but i merely asked the fellow if he knew casanova.

i’ll ought too know him,” said he, in that self-satisfied tone which is always so unpleasant.

“nay, sir, you are mistaken; i am casanova.”

without losing his self-possession, he replied, insolently,

“you are really very much mistaken if you think you are the only casanova in the world.”

it was a sharp answer, and put me in the wrong. i bit my lips and held my tongue, but i was grievously offended, and determined to make him find the casanova who was in holland, and from whom he was going to extract an unpleasant explanation, in myself. in the meanwhile i bore as well as i could the poor figure he must be cutting before the officers at table, who, after hearing the insolence of this young blockhead, might take me for a coward. he, the insolent fellow, had no scruple in abusing the triumph his answer had given him, and talked away in the random fashion. at last he forgot himself so far as to ask from what country i came.

“i am a venetian, sir,” i replied.

“ah! then you are a good friend to france, as your republic is under french protection.”

at these words my ill-temper boiled aver, and, in the tone of voice one uses to put down a puppy, i replied that the republic of venice was strong enough to do without the protection of france or of any other power, and that during the thirteen centuries of its existence it had had many friends and allies but no protectors. “perhaps,” i ended, “you will reply by begging my pardon for not knowing that these was only one venice in the world.”

i had no sooner said this than a burst of laughter from the whole table set me right again. the young blockhead seemed taken aback and in his turn bit his lips, but his evil genius made him, strike in again at dessert. as usual the conversation went from one subject to another, and we began to talk about the duke of albermarle. the englishmen spoke in his favour, and said that if he had been alive there would have been no war between england and france; they were probably right, but even if the duke had lived war might have broken out, as the two nations in question have never yet succeeded in understanding that it is for both their interests to live at peace together. another englishman praised lolotte, his mistress. i said i had seen that charming woman at the duchess of fulvi’s, and that no one deserved better to become the countess of eronville. the count of eronville, a lieutenant-general and a man of letters, had just married her.

i had scarcely finished what i had to say when master blockhead said, with a laugh, that he knew lolotte to be a good sort of girl, as he had slept with her at paris. i could restrain myself no longer; my indignation and rage consumed me. i took up my plate, and made as if i would throw it at his head, saying at the same time, “you infernal liar!” he got up, and stood with his back to the fire, but i could see by his sword-knot that he was a soldier.

everybody pretended not to hear anything of this, and the conversation went on for some time on indifferent subjects; and at last they all rose from their seats and left the room.

my enemy said to his companion that they would see one another again after the play, and remained by the fire, with his elbow resting on the chimney-piece. i remained at table till the company had all left the room, and when we were alone together i got up and looked him straight in the face, and went out, walking towards sheveningue, sure that he would follow me if he were a man of any mettle. when i had got to some distance from the hotel i looked round, and saw that he was following me at a distance of fifty paces.

when i got to the wood i stopped at a suitable place, and stood awaiting my antagonist. he was ten paces off when he drew his sword, and i had plenty of time to draw mine though he came on fast. the fight did not last long, for as soon as he was near enough i gave him a thrust which has never failed me, and sent him back quicker than he came. he was wounded in the chest above the right breast, but as my sword was flat and the opening large enough the wound bled easily. i lowered my sword and ran up to him, but i could do nothing; he said that we should meet again at amsterdam, if i was going there, and that he would have his revenge. i saw him again five or six years afterwards at warsaw, and then i did him a kindness. i heard afterwards that his name was varnier, but i do not know whether he was identical with the president of the national convention under the infamous robespierre.

i did not return to the hotel till after the play, and i then heard that the frenchman, after having the surgeon with him for an hour, had set out for rotterdam with his friend. we had a pleasant supper and talked cheerfully together without a word being said about the duel, with the exception that an english lady said, i forget in what connection, that a man of honour should never risk sitting down to dinner at an hotel unless he felt inclined, if necessary, to fight. the remark was very true at that time, when one had to draw the sword for an idle word, and to expose one’s self to the consequences of a duel, or else be pointed at, even by the ladies, with the finger of scorn.

i had nothing more to keep me at the hague, and i set out next morning before day-break for amsterdam. on the way i stopped for dinner and recognized sir james walpole, who told me that he had started from amsterdam the evening before, an hour after giving the countess into her husband’s charge. he said that he had got very tired of her, as he had nothing more to get from a woman who gave more than one asked, if one’s purse-strings were opened wide enough. i got to amsterdam about midnight and took up my abode at “the old bible.” the neighbourhood of esther had awakened my love for that charming girl, and i was so impatient to see her that i could not sleep.

i went out about ten o’clock and called on m. d’o, who welcomed me in the friendliest manner and reproached me for not having alighted at his house. when he heard that i had given up business he congratulated me on not having removed it into holland, as i should have been ruined. i did not tell him that i had nearly come to that in france, as i considered such a piece of information would not assist my designs. he complained bitterly of the bad faith of the french government, which had involved him in considerable losses; and then he asked me to come and see esther.

i was too impatient to embrace her to stay to be asked twice; i ran to greet her. as soon as she saw me she gave a cry of surprise and delight, and threw herself in my arms, where i received her with fondness equal to her own. i found her grown and improved; she looked lovely. we had scarcely sat down when she told me that she had become as skilled in the cabala as myself.

“it makes my life happy,” said she, “for it gives me a power over my father, and assures me that he will never marry me to anyone but the man of my choice.”

“i am delighted that you extract the only good that can proceed from this idle science, namely, the power to guide persons devoid of strength of will. but your father must think that i taught you the secret?”

“yes, he does; and he said, one day, that he would forgive me any sacrifices i might have made to obtain this precious secret from you.”

“he goes a little further than we did, my dearest esther.”

“yes, and i told him that i had gained it from you without any sacrifice, and that now i was a true pythoness without having to endure the torments of the tripod; and i am sure that the replies you gave were invented by yourself.”

“but if that were so how could i have known where the pocket-book was, or whether the ship was safe?”

“you saw the portfolio yourself and threw it where it was discovered, and as for the vessel you spoke at random; but as you are an honest man, confess that you were afraid of the results. i am never so bold as that, and when my father asks me questions of that kind, my replies are more obscure than a sibyl’s. i don’t wish him to lose confidence in my oracle, nor do i wish him to be able to reproach me with a loss that would injure my own interests.”

“if your mistake makes you happy i shall leave you in it. you are really a woman of extraordinary talents — you are quite unique.”

“i don’t want your compliments,” said she, in a rather vexed manner, “i want a sincere avowal of the truth.”

“i don’t think i can go as far as that.”

at these words, which i pronounced in a serious way, esther went into a reverie, but i was not going to lose the superiority i had over her, and racked my brains to find some convincing prediction the oracle might make to her, and while i was doing so dinner was announced.

there were four of us at table, and i concluded that the fourth of the party must be in love with esther, as he kept his eyes on her the whole time. he was her father’s favourite clerk, and no doubt her father would have been glad if she had fallen in love with him, but i soon saw that she was not likely to do so. esther was silent all through dinner, and we did not mention the cabala till the clerk was gone.

“is it possible,” said m. d’o, “for my daughter to obtain the answers of the oracle without your having taught her?”

“i always thought such a thing impossible till to-day,” i answered, “but esther has convinced me that i was mistaken. i can teach the secret to no one without losing it myself, for the oath i swore to the sage who taught me forbids me to impart it to another under pain of forfeiture. but as your daughter has taken no such oath, having acquired it herself, she may be for all i know at perfect liberty to communicate the secret to anyone.”

esther, who was as keen as a razor, took care to say that the same oath that i had taken had been imposed on her by the oracle, and that she could not communicate the cabalistic secret to anyone without the permission of her genius, under pain of losing it herself.

i read her inmost thoughts, and was rejoiced to see that her mind was calmed. she had reason to be grateful to me, whether i had lied or not, for i had given her a power over her father which a father’s kindness could not have assured; but she perceived that what i had said about her oracular abilities had been dictated merely by politeness, and she waited till we were alone to make me confess as much.

her worthy father, who believed entirely in the infallibility of our oracles, had the curiosity to put the same question to both of us, to see if we should agree in the answer. esther was delighted with the idea, as she suspected that the one answer would flatly contradict the other, and m. d’o having written his question on two sheets of paper gave them to us. esther went up to her own room for the operation, and i questioned the oracle on the table at which we had had dinner, in the presence of the father. esther was quick, as she came down before i had extracted from the pyramid the letters which were to compose my reply, but as i knew what to say as soon as i saw her father read the answer she gave him i was not long in finishing what i had to do.

m. d’o—— asked if he should try to get rid of the french securities he held in spite of the loss he would incur by selling out.

esther’s oracle replied,

“you must sow plentifully before you reap. pluck not up the vine before the season of the vintage, for your vine is planted in a fruitful soil.”

mine ran as follows:—

“if you sell out you will repent, for there will be a new comptroller-general, who will pay all claims before another year has elapsed.”

esther’s answer was conceived in the sibylline style, and i admired the readiness of her wit; but mine went right to the point, and the worthy man embraced us joyfully, and, taking his hat and stick, said that since our replies agreed he would run the risk of losing three million francs and make a profit of five or six hundred thousand in the course of the year. his daughter began to recant, and would have warned him against the danger, but he, who was as firm as a mussulman, kissed her again, saying,

“the oracle is not wont to lie, and even if it does deceive me this time it will only be a fourth part of my fortune that i shall lose.”

when esther and i were alone i began to compliment her, much to her delight, on the cleverness of her answer, the elegance of her style, and her boldness, for she could not be as well acquainted with french affairs as i was.

“i am much obliged to you,” said she, “for having confirmed my reply, but confess that you lied to please me.”

“i confess, since that will please you, and i will even tell you that you have nothing more to learn.”

“you are a cruel man! but how could you reply that there would be another comptroller-general in a year’s time, and run the risk of compromising the oracle? i never dare to say things like that; i love the oracle too well to expose it to shame and confusion.”

“that shews that i do not invent the answers; but since the oracle has pronounced it i am willing to bet that silhouette will be dismissed.”

“your obstinacy drives me to despair, for i shall not rest till i know that i am as much a master of the cabala as you are, and yet you will not confess that you invent the answers yourself. for charity’s sake do something to convince me of the contrary.”

“i will think it over.”

i passed the whole day with this delightful girl, whose amiable disposition and great wealth would have made me a happy man if it were not for my master-passion, the love of independence, and my aversion to make up my mind to live for the rest of my days in holland.

in the course of my life i have often observed that the happiest hours are often the heralds of misfortune. the very next day my evil genius took me to the ville de lyon. this was the inn where piccolomini and his wife were staying, and i found them there in the midst of a horde of cheats and sharpers, like themselves. as soon as the good people heard my name they rushed forward, some to greet me, and others to have a closer look at me, as if i were some strange wild beast. amongst those present were a chevalier de sabi, who wore the uniform of a polish major, and protested he had known me at dresden; a baron de wiedan, claiming bohemia as his fatherland, who greeted me by saying that his friend the comte st. germain had arrived at the etoile d’orient, and had been enquiring after me; an attenuated-looking bravo who was introduced to me as the chevalier de la perine, whom i recognized at the first glance as the fellow called talvis, who had robbed the prince-bishop of presburg, who had lent me a hundred louis the same day, and with whom i had fought a duel at paris. finally, there was an italian named neri, who looked like a blacksmith minus his honesty, and said that he remembered seeing me one evening at the casino. i recollected having seen him at the place where i met the wretched lucie.

in the midst of this band of cut-purses i saw the so-called wife of the pretended chevalier de sabi, a pretty woman from saxony, who, speaking italian indifferently well, was paying her addresses to the countess piccolomini.

i bit my lips with anger to find myself in such honourable company, but putting a good face on a bad game i greeted everybody politely, and then drawing a roll of a hundred louis from my pocket i presented them to master perine talvis, telling him i was glad to be able to return them to him with my best thanks.

my politeness did not meet with much of a reception, for the impudent scoundrel answered me, as he pocketed the money, that he remembered having lent it me at presburg, but he also remembered a more important matter.

“and pray what is that?” said i, in a dry and half-disdainful tone.

“you owe me a revenge at the sword’s point, as you know right well. here is the mark of the gash you gave me seven years ago.”

so saying, the wretched little man opened his shirt and shewed the small round scar. this scene, which belonged more to farce than comedy, seemed to have struck all tongues with paralysis.

“anywhere else than in holland, where important and delicate business debars me from fighting, i shall be glad to meet you and mark you again, if you still desire to cross swords with me; but while i am here i must beg you not to disturb me. all the same, you may as well know that i never go out without a couple of friends in my pockets, and that if you attack me i shall blow your brains out in self- defence”

“my revenge must be with crossed swords,” said he. “however, i will let you finish your business.”

“you will do wisely.”

piccolomini, who had been casting a hungry eye upon my hundred louis, proposed immediately afterwards a bank at faro, and began to deal. prudence would have restrained me from playing in such company, but the dictates of prudence were overcome by my desire to get back the hundred louis which i had given talvis, so i cut in. i had a run of bad luck and lost a hundred ducats, but, as usual, my loss only excited me. i wished to regain what i had lost, so i stayed to supper, and afterwards, with better luck, won back my money. i was content to stop at this, and to let the money i had paid to talvis go, so i asked piccolomini to pay me, which he did with a bill of exchange on an amsterdam bank drawn by a firm in middlesburg. at first i made some difficulty in taking it, on the pretext that it would be difficult to negotiate, but he promised to let me have the money next day, and i had to give in.

i made haste to leave this cut-throat place, after refusing to lend talvis a hundred louis, which he wanted to borrow of me on the strength of the revenge i owed him. he was in a bad humour, both on this account and because he had lost the hundred louis i had paid him, and he allowed himself to use abusive language, which i treated with contempt. i went to bed, promising myself never to set foot in such a place again.

the next morning, however, i went out with the intention of calling on piccolomini to get the bill of exchange cashed, but on my way i happened to go into a coffee-house and to meet rigerboos, therese’s friend, whose acquaintance the reader has already made. after greeting each other, and talking about therese, who was now in london and doing well, i skewed him my bill, telling him the circumstances under which i had it. he looked at it closely, and said,

“it’s a forgery, and the original from which it was copied was honoured yesterday.”

he saw that i could scarcely believe it, and told me to come with him to be convinced of the truth of what he said.

he took me to a merchant of his acquaintance, who skewed me the genuine bill, which he had cashed the day before for an individual who was unknown to him. in my indignation i begged rigerboos to come with me to piccolomini, telling him that he might cash it without remark, and that otherwise he would witness what happened.

we arrived at the count’s and were politely received, the count asking me to give him the bill and he would send it to the bank to be cashed, but rigerboos broke in by saying that it would be dishonoured, as it was a mere copy of a bill which had been cashed the evening before.

piccolomini pretended to be greatly astonished, and said that, “though he could not believe it, he would look into the matter.”

“you may look into it when you please,” said i, “but in the mean time i should be obliged by your giving me five hundred florins.”

“you know me, sir,” said he, raising his voice, “i guarantee to pay you, and that ought to be enough.”

“no doubt it would be enough, if i chose; but i want my money.”

at this his wife came in and began to take her part in the dispute, and on the arrival of the count’s man, a very cut-threat, rigerboos took hold of me by the arm and drew me forcibly away. “follow me,” said he, when we were outside, “and let me see to this business myself.” he took me to a fine-looking man, who turned out to be the lieutenant of police, and after he had heard the case he told me to give him the bill of exchange and to say where i was going to dine. i told him i should be at m. d’o ‘s, and saying that would do he went off. i thanked rigerboos, and went to esther, who reproached me tenderly for not having been to see her the evening before. that flattered me, and i thought her a really charming girl.

“i must take care,” said i, “not to see you every day, for your eyes have a sway over me that i shall not be able to resist much longer.”

“i shall believe as much of that as i choose, but, by-the-by, have you thought of any way of convincing me?”

“what do you want to be convinced about?”

“if it be true that there is in your cabala an intelligence distinct from your own you ought to be able to find some way of proving it to me.”

“that is a happy thought; i will think it over.”

at that moment her father came in from the exchange, and we sat dawn to dinner.

we were at dessert when a police official brought me five hundred florins, for which i gave him a receipt.

when he had gone i told my entertainers what had happened the evening before and in the morning, and the fair esther reproached me for preferring such bad company to her. “by way of punishment,” said she, “i hope you will come with me to the theatre this evening, though they are going to give a dutch play, of which you will not understand a word.”

“i shall be near you, and that is enough for me:”

in fact, i did not comprehend a word of the actors’ gibberish, and was terribly bored, as esther preserved a solemn and serious silence the whole time.

as we were coming from the theatre she told me all about the piece with charming grace and wonderful memory; she seemed to wish to give me some pleasure in return for the tedium to which she had condemned me. when we got home we had supper, and that evening, heaven be thanked! i heard nothing more about the cabala. before we parted, esther and her father made me promise to dine with them every day, and to let them know if anything prevented my coming.

next morning, about eight o’clock, while i was still dressing, i suddenly saw piccolomini standing before me, and as he had not sent in his name i began to feel suspicious. i rang the bell for my faithful spaniard, who came in directly.

“i want to speak to you privately,” said he, “tell that fellow to go out.”

“he can stay,” i answered, “he does not know a word of italian.” le duc, of course, knew italian perfectly well.

“yesterday, about noon,” he began, “two men came into my room. they were accompanied by the innkeeper, who served as interpreter. one of the men asked me if i felt inclined to cash there and then a forged bill of exchange, which i had given the night before, and which he held in his hands. as i gave no reply, he told me that there was no time for consideration or argument; i must say yes or no there and then, for such were their instructions from the chief of police. i had no choice in the matter, so i paid the five hundred florins, but i did not get back the bill, and the man told me i could not have it unless i told the police the name of the person from whom i got it, as, in the interests of commerce, the forger must be prosecuted. my reply was that i could not possibly tell them what they wanted, as i had got it of a stranger who had come into my room while i was holding a small bank of faro, to pass the time.

“i told him that after this person (who i had thought introduced by someone in the company) had gone, i found to my surprise that nobody knew him; and i added that if i had been aware of this i would not only have refused the bill but would not have allowed him to play. thereupon the second policeman said that i had better find out who this person was, or else i should be considered as the forger and prosecuted accordingly; after this threat they went out.

“in the afternoon my wife called on the chief of police and was politely received, but after hearing what she had to say he informed her that she must find out the forger, since m. casanova’s honour might be endangered by the banker taking proceedings against him, in which case he would have to prosecute me.

“you see in what a difficult position we are placed, and i think you ought to try to help us. you have got your money and you are not without friends. get their influence exerted in the matter, and we shall hear no more about it. your interests as well as mine are concerned.”

“except as a witness of the fact,” i answered, “i can have nothing to do with this affair. you agree that i received the bill from you, since you cashed it; that is enough for me. i should be glad to be of service to you, but i really don’t see what i can do. the best advice i can give you is to make a sacrifice of the rascally sharper who gave you the forged bill, and if you can’t do that i would counsel you to disappear, and the sooner the better, or else you may come to the galleys, or worse.”

he got into a rage at this, and turning his back on me went out, saying i should be sorry for what i had said.

my spaniard followed him down the stair and came back to tell me that the signor had gone off threatening vengeance, and that, in his opinion, i would do well to be on my guard.

“all right,” said i, “say no more about it.”

all the same i was really very grateful for his advice, and i gave the matter a good deal of thought.

i dressed myself and went to see esther, whom i had to convince of the divinity of my oracle, a different task with one whose own wits had told her so much concerning my methods. this was the problem she gave me to solve,

“your oracle must tell me something which i, and only i, know.”

feeling that it would be impossible to fulfil these conditions, i told her that the oracle might reveal some secret she might not care to have disclosed.

“that is impossible,” she answered, “as the secret will be known only to myself.”

“but, if the oracle replies i shall know the answer as well as you, and it may be something you would not like me to know.”

“there is no such thing, and, even if there were, if the oracle is not your own brain you can always find out anything you want to know.”

“but there is some limit to the powers of the oracle.”

“you are making idle excuses; either prove that i am mistaken in my ideas or acknowledge that my oracle is as good as yours.”

this was pushing me hard, and i was on the point of declaring myself conquered when a bright idea struck me.

in the midst of the dimple which added such a charm to her chin esther had a little dark mole, garnished with three or four extremely fine hairs. these moles, which we call in italian ‘neo, nei’, and which are usually an improvement to the prettiest face, when they occur on the face, the neck, the arms, or the hands, are duplicated on the corresponding parts of the body. i concluded, therefore, that esther had a mole like that on her chin in a certain place which a virtuous girl does not shew; and innocent as she was i suspected that she herself did not know of this second mole’s existence. “i shall astonish her,” i said to myself, “and establish my superiority in a manner which will put the idea of having equal skill to mine out of her head for good.” then with the solemn and far-away look of a seer i made my pyramid and extracted these words from it,

“fair and discreet esther, no one knows that at the entrance of the temple of love you have a mole precisely like that which appears on your chin.”

while i was working at my calculations, esther was leaning over me and following every movement. as she really knew as much about the cabala as i did she did not want it to be explained to her, but translated the numbers into letters as i wrote them down. as soon as i had extracted all the combinations of numbers from the pyramid she said, quietly, that as i did not want to know the answer, she would be much obliged if i would let her translate the cypher.

“with pleasure,” i replied. “and i shall do so all the more willingly as i shall thereby save your delicacy from sharing with me a secret which may or may not be agreeable. i promise you not to try to find it out. it is enough for me to see you convinced.”

“i shall be convinced when i have verified the truth of the reply.”

“are you persuaded, dearest esther, that i have had nothing to do with framing this answer?”

“i shall he quite sure of it if it has spoken the truth, and if so the oracle will have conquered, for the matter is so secret a one that even i do not know of it. you need not know yourself, as it is only a trifle which would not interest you; but it will be enough to convince me that the answers of your oracle are dictated by an intelligence which has nothing in common with yours.”

there was so much candour and frankness in what she said that a feeling of shame replaced the desire of deceiving her, and i shed some tears, which esther could only interpret favourably to me. nevertheless, they were tears of remorse, and now, as i write after such a lapse of years, i still regret having deceived one so worthy of my esteem and love. even then i reproached myself, but a pitiable feeling of shame would not let me tell the truth; but i hated myself for thus leading astray one whose esteem i desired to gain.

in the mean time i was not absolutely sure that i had hit the mark, for in nature, like everything else, every law has its exceptions, and i might possibly have dug a pitfall for myself. on the other hand, if i were right, esther would no doubt be convinced for the moment, but her belief would speedily disappear if she chanced to discover that the correspondence of moles on the human body was a necessary law of nature. in that case i could only anticipate her scorn. but however i might tremble i had carried the deception too far, and could not draw back.

i left esther to call on rigerboos, whom i thanked for his offices on my behalf with the chief of the police. he told me that i had nothing to fear from piccolomini in holland, but all the same he advised me not to go about without pistols. “i am on the eve of embarking for batavia,” said he, “in a vessel which i have laden with the ruins of my fortune. in the state my affairs are in i thought this the best plan. i have not insured the cargo, so as not diminish my profits, which will be considerable if i succeed. if the ship is taken or wrecked i shall take care not to survive its loss; and after all i shall not lose much.”

poor riberboos said all this as if he were jesting, but despair had no doubt a good deal to do with his resolve, since it is only in great misery that we despise both life and fortune. the charming therese trenti, whom rigerboos always spoke of as our lady, had contributed to his ruin in no small degree. she was then in london, where, by her own account, she was doing well. she had exchanged the name of trenti for that of cornelis, or cornely, which, as i found out afterwards, was rigerboo’s real name. we spent an hour in writing to this curious woman, as we desired to take advantage of the circumstance that a man whom rigerboos desired to commend to her was shortly going to england. when we had finished we went sleighing on the amstel, which had been frozen over for several days. this diversion, of which the dutch are very fond, is, to my thinking, the dullest imaginable, for an objectless journey is no pleasure to me. after we were well frozen we went to eat oysters, with sillery, to warm ourselves again, and after that we went from one casino to another, not intending to commit any debauchery, but for want of something better to do; but it seemed decreed that whenever i preferred any amusement of this kind to the charms of esther’s society i should come to grief.

i do not know how it happened, but as we were going into one of these casinos rigerboos called me loudly by my name, and at that instant a woman, such as one usually finds in these places, came forward and began to gaze at me. although the room was ill enough lighted i saw it was the wretched lucie, whom i had met a year before without her recognizing me. i turned away, pretending not to know her, for the sight of her was disagreeable to me, but in a sad voice she called me by my name, congratulating me on my prosperity and bewailing her own wretchedness. i saw that i could neither avoid her nor repulse her without inhumanity, so i called to rigerboos to come upstairs and the girl would divert us by recounting the history of her life.

strictly speaking, lucie had not become ugly; one could still see that she had been a beautiful woman; but for all that her appearance inspired me with terror and disgust. since the days when i had known her at pasean, nineteen years of misery, profligacy, and shame had made her the most debased, the vilest creature that can be imagined. she told us her story at great length; the pith of it might be expressed in six lines.

the footman who had seduced her had taken her to trieste to lie in, and the scoundrel lived on the sale of her charms for five or six months, and then a sea captain, who had taken a fancy to her, took her to zante with the footman, who passed for her husband.

at zante the footman turned soldier, and deserted the army four years after. she was left alone and continued living on the wages of prostitution for six years; but the goods she had to offer lowering in value, and her customers being of the inferior kind, she set out for england with a young greek girl, whom an english officer of marines treated as his wife, and whom he abandoned in the streets of london when he got tired of her. after living for two or three years in the vilest haunts in london, lucie came to holland, where, not being able to sell her own person any longer, she became a procuress — a natural ending to her career. lucie was only thirty-three, but she was the wreck of a woman, and women are always as old as they look.

while she told her history she emptied two bottles of burgundy i had ordered, and which neither i nor my friend touched. finally, she told us she was now supported by two pretty girls whom she kept, and who had to give her the half of what they got.

rigerboos asked her, jokingly, if the girls were at the casino.

“no,” said she, “they are not here, and shall never come here, for they are ladies of high birth, and their uncle, who looks after their interests, is a venetian gentleman.”

at this i could not keep back my laughter, but lucie, without losing countenance, told me that she could only repeat the account they had given of themselves, that if we wanted to be convinced we had only to go and see them at a house she rented fifty paces off, and that we need not be afraid of being disturbed if we went, as their uncle lived in a different part of the town.

“oh, indeed!” said i, “he does not live with his highborn nieces, then?”

“no, he only comes to dinner to hear how business has been going, and to take all the money from them.”

“come along,” said rigerboos, “we will go and see them.”

as i was desirous of seeing and addressing the noble venetian ladies of so honourable a profession, i told lucie to take us to the house. i knew very well that the girls were impostors, and their gentleman- uncle a blackguard; but the die was cast.

we found them to be young and pretty. lucie introduced me as a venetian, and they were beside themselves with joy to have someone to whom they could talk. i found out directly that they came from padua, not venice, as they spoke the paduan dialect, which i knew very well. i told them so, and they confessed it was the truth. i asked the name of their uncle, but they said they could not tell me.

“we can get on without knowing,” said rigerboos, catching hold of the one he liked best. lucie brought in some ham, oysters, a pie, and a good many bottles of wine, and then left us.

i was not in the humour for wantonness, but rigerboos was disposed to be merry; his sweetheart was at first inclined to be prudish on his taking liberties with her, but as i began to follow his example the ladies relaxed their severity; we went first to one and then the other, and before long they were both in the state of eve before she used the fig-leaf.

after passing an hour in these lascivious combats we gave each of the girls four ducats, paid for the provisions we had consumed, and sent six louis to lucie. we then left them, i going to bed cross with myself for having engaged in such brutal pleasures.

next morning i awoke late and in a bad humour, partly from the debauch of the night before (for profligacy depresses as well as degrades the mind) and partly from the thought that i had neglected esther, who had unquestionably been grieved by my absence. i felt that i must hasten to reassure her, feeling certain that i should find some excuses to make, and that they would be well received. i rang for le duc, put on my dressing-gown, and sent him for my coffee. he had scarcely left the room when the door opened and i saw perine and the fellow named wiedan, whom i had seen at piccolomini’s, and who styled himself a friend of st. germain. i was sitting on my bed, putting on my stockings. my apartments consisted of three fine rooms, but they were at the back of the house, and all the noise i could have made would not have been heard. the bell was on the other side of the room; le duc would be gone fully ten minutes, and i was in imminent danger of being assassinated without the possibility of self-defence.

the above thoughts flashed through my head with lightning speed, and all that i could do was to keep calm and say,

“well, gentlemen, what can i do for you?” wiedan took upon himself to answer me.

“count piccolomini has found himself forced to declare that he received the forged bill from us, in order that he may escape from the difficult position in which your denunciation placed him. he has warned us that he is going to do so, and we must escape forthwith if we want to avoid prosecution. we have not a penny; we are desperate men.”

“well, gentlemen, what have i to do with that?”

“give us four hundred florins immediately; we do not want more, but we must have that much, and now. if you refuse we will take to flight with everything of yours that we can lay our hands on; and our arguments are these.”

with this, each man drew a pistol from his pocket and aimed it at my head.

“you need not have recourse to violence,” said i, “it can only be fatal to you. stay, here are a hundred ducats more than you asked. begone, and i wish you a pleasant journey, but i would not be here when my servant comes back if i were you.”

wiedan took the roll of money with a trembling hand and put it in his pocket without examining it; but perine came up, and praising my noble generosity, would have put his arms around my neck and kissed me. i repulsed him, but without rudeness, and they went their ways, leaving me very glad to have rid myself of them at so cheap a rate.

as soon as i was out of this snare i rang my bell, not to have them followed but that i might get dressed as quickly as possible. i did not say a word to le duc about what had happened, i was silent even to my landlord; and, after i had sent my spaniard to m. d’o to excuse my dining there that day, i went to the chief of police, but had to wait two hours before i could see him. as soon as the worthy man had heard my account of my misfortune he said he would do his best to catch the two rascals, but he did not conceal from me his fears that it was already too late.

i took the opportunity of telling him of piccolomini’s visit to me, his claims and threats. he thanked me for doing so, and promised to see to it; but he advised me for the future to be on my guard and ready to defend myself in case i was attacked before he could place my enemies in a place where they could do me no harm.

i hastened home again, as i felt ill. an acid taste in my mouth skewed me how all these shocks had upset me; but i knew what to do. i took a strong glass of lemonade, which made me bring up a good deal of bile, and i then felt much better.

towards evening i went to see esther, and found her looking serious and rather vexed; but as soon as she saw how pale i was her face lighted up, and she asked me, in a voice of tenderest interest, if i had been ill. i told her i had been out of sorts, that i had taken some medicine, and that i now felt better.

“you will see my appetite at supper,” added i, to calm her fears, “i have had nothing to eat since dinner yesterday.”

this was really the truth, as i had only eaten a few oysters with the paduan girls.

she could scarcely contain her joy at my recovery, and bade me kiss her, with which request i complied gladly, all unworthy though i felt of so great a favour.

“i am going to tell you an important piece of news,” said she, “and that is that i am sure that you do not invent the answers to your oracle, or at least that you only do so when you choose. the reply you procured me was wonderful-nay, divine, for it told me of a secret unknown to all, even to myself. you may imagine my surprise when i convinced myself, with no little trouble of the truth of the answer.

“you possess a treasure, your oracle is infallible; but surely it can never lie, and my oracle tells me that you love me. it makes me glad to know that, for you are the man of my heart. but i want you to give me an exemplary proof of your love, and if you do love me you will not hesitate to do so. stay, read the reply you got me; i am sure you do not know what it says; then i will tell you how you can make me quite happy.”

i pretended to read, and kissed the words which declared i loved her. “i am delighted,” said i, “that the oracle has convinced you so easily, but i must be excused if i say that i believe you knew as much long ago.” she replied, blushing, that if it were possible to chew me the object in question i should not wonder at her ignorance. then, coming to the proof of my love, she told me that she wanted me to communicate the secret to her. “you love me,” said she, “and you ought to make no difficulty in assuring the bliss of a girl who will be your wife, and in your power. my father will agree to our marriage, and when i become your wife i will do whatever you please. we will even go and live in another country if that would add to your happiness. but you must teach me how to obtain the answer to any question without inventing it myself.”

i took esther’s hands in mine; she inspired me with the tenderest feelings, and i kissed her hands with respectful fervour, saying, “you know, esther, dear, that my word is passed at paris. certainly, manon is not to be compared to you; but for all that i gave my promise to her poor mother, and i must keep it.”

a sigh escaped from esther, and her head fell upon her breast: but what could i do? i could not teach her any other way of consulting the oracle than the method she understood as well as i: my superiority over her only consisting in my greater craft and more extensive experience.

early one morning, two or three days later, a man was announced as wanting to see me. he called himself an officer, but his name was perfectly unknown to me. i sent down to say that i could not see him, and as soon as my spaniard went out i locked my door. what had happened already had made me suspicious, and i did not care to see any more gentlemen alone. the two scoundrels who had robbed me had eluded all the snares of the police, and piccolomini was not to be found; but i knew a good many of the gang were still in amsterdam, and i thought it well to be on my guard.

some time after, le duc came in with a letter written in bad italian, saying that it had been given him by an officer who was waiting for an answer. i opened it, and recognized the name i had heard a short while ago. the writer said we knew each other, but that he could only give his true name with his own lips, and that he had important information to give me.

i told le duc to shew him in, and to stay by the door. i saw enter a well-made man of about forty, dressed in the uniform of an officer of i do not know what army, and bearing on his countenance all the marks of an escaped gallows’-bird.

“what can i do for you, sir?” said i, as soon as he entered.

“sir, we knew each other at cerigo, sixteen or seventeen years ago, and i am delighted to have an opportunity of renewing the acquaintance.”

i knew that i had spent but a few minutes at cerigo, on my way to constantinople, and concluded that my visitor must be one of the unfortunate wretches to whom i gave alms.

“are you the man,” i said, “who told me that you were the son of a count peccini, of padua, although there is no such count in padua at all?”

“i congratulate you on your excellent memory,” said he, coolly, “i am that very individual.”

“well, what do you want with me now?”

“i can’t divulge my business in the presence of your servant.”

“my servant does not understand italian, so you can speak out; however, if you like, i will send him away.”

i ordered le duc to stay in the ante-chamber, and when he had left the room my paduan count told me that i had been with his nieces, and had treated them as if they were courtezans, and that he was come to demand satisfaction.

i was tired of being cheated, and i took hold of my pistols and pointed them at him, bidding him be gone instantly. le duc came in and the third robber took himself off, muttering that “a time would come.”

i was placed in a disagreeable position; if i wanted to prosecute, i should have to tell the whole story to the police. i thought of my honour and determined to be silent, and the only person to whom i mentioned the matter was rigerboos, who not being in the same position as myself took his measures, the result of which was that lucie had to send her high-born dames about their business. but the wretched woman came to me to say that this misfortune had plunged her into the deepest distress, so i made her a present of a few ducats, and she went away somewhat consoled. i begged her not to call on me again.

everything i did when i was away from esther seemed to turn out ill, and i felt that if i wanted to be happy i should do well to keep near her; but my destiny, or rather my inconstancy, drew me away.

three days afterwards, the villainous major sabi called on me to warn me to be on my guard, as, according to his account, a venetian officer i had insulted and refused to give satisfaction to had vowed vengeance against me.

“then,” said i, “i shall have him arrested as an escaped galley slave, in which character i have given him alms, and for wearing without the right to do so the uniform of an officer, thereby disgracing the whole army. and pray what outrage can i have committed against girls who live in a brothel, and whom i have paid according to their deserts?”

“if what you say is true you are quite right, but this poor devil is in a desperate situation; he wants to leave the country, and does not possess a single florin. i advise you to give him an alms once more, and you will have done with him. two score florins will not make you any the poorer, and will rid you of a villainous enemy.”

“a most villainous one, i think.” at last i agreed to give him the forty florins, and i handed them to him in a coffee-house where the major told me i should find him. the reader will see how i met this blackguard four months later.

now, when all these troubles have been long over and i can think over them calmly, reflecting on the annoyances i experienced at amsterdam, where i might have been so happy, i am forced to admit that we ourselves are the authors of almost all our woes and griefs, of which we so unreasonably complain. if i could live my life over again, should i be wiser? perhaps; but then i should not be myself.

m. d’o—— asked me to sup with him at the burgomasters’ lodge, and this was a great distinction, for, contrary to the rules of freemasonry, no one but the twenty-four members who compose the lodge is admitted, and these twenty-four masons were the richest men on the exchange.

“i have told them that you are coming,” said m. d’o— — “and to welcome you more honourably the lodge will be opened in french.” in short, these gentlemen gave me the most distinguished reception, and i had the fortune to make myself so agreeable to them that i was unanimously chosen an honorary member during the time i should stay at amsterdam. as we were going away, m. d’o—— told me that i had supped with a company which represented a capital of three hundred millions.

next day the worthy dutchman begged me to oblige him by answering a question to which his daughter’s oracle had replied in a very obscure manner. esther encouraged me, and i asked what the question was. it ran as follows:

“i wish to know whether the individual who desires me and my company to transact a matter of the greatest importance is really a friend of the king of france?”

it was not difficult for me to divine that the comte de st. germain was meant. m. d’o was not aware that i knew him, and i had not forgotten what m. d’afri had told me.

“here’s a fine opportunity,” thought i, “for covering my oracle with glory, and giving my fair esther something to think about.”

i set to work, and after erecting my pyramid and placing above the four keys the letters o, s, a, d, the better to impose on esther, i extracted the reply, beginning with the fourth key, d. the oracle ran as follows:

“the friend disavows. the order is signed. they grant. they refuse. all vanishes. delay.”

i pretended to think the reply a very obscure one, but esther gave a cry of astonishment and declared that it gave a lot of information in an extraordinary style. m. d’o— — in an ecstasy of delight, exclaimed,

“the reply is clear enough for me. the oracle is divine; the word ‘delay’ is addressed to me. you and my daughter are clever enough in making the oracle speak, but i am more skilled than you in the interpretation thereof. i shall prevent the thing going any further. the project is no less a one than to lend a hundred millions, taking in pledge the diamonds of the french crown. the king wishes the loan to be concluded without the interference of his ministers and without their even knowing anything about it. i entreat you not to mention the matter to anyone.”

he then went out.

“now,” said esther, when we were by ourselves, “i am quite sure that that reply came from another intelligence than yours. in the name of all you hold sacred, tell me the meaning of those four letters, and why you usually omit them.”

“i omit them, dearest esther, because experience has taught me that in ordinary cases they are unnecessary; but while i was making the pyramid the command came to me to set them down, and i thought it well to obey.”

“what do they mean?”

“they are the initial letters of the holy names of the cardinal intelligences of the four quarters of the world.”

“i may not tell you, but whoever deals with the oracle should know them.”

“ah! do not deceive me; i trust in you, and it would be worse than murder to abuse so simple a faith as mine.”

“i am not deceiving you, dearest esther.”

“but if you were to teach me the cabala, you would impart to me these holy names?”

“certainly, but i cannot reveal them except to my successor. if i violate this command i should lose my knowledge; and this condition is well calculated to insure secrecy, is it not?”

“it is, indeed. unhappy that i am, your successor will be, of course, manon.”

“no, manon is not fitted intellectually for such knowledge as this.”

“but you should fix on someone, for you are mortal after all. if you like, my father would give you the half of his immense fortune without your marrying me.”

“esther! what is it that you have said? do you think that to possess you would be a disagreeable condition in my eyes?”

after a happy day — i think i may call it the happiest of my life — i left the too charming esther, and went home towards the evening.

three or four days after, m. d’o—— came into esther’s room, where he found us both calculating pyramids. i was teaching her to double, to triple, and to quadruple the cabalistic combinations. m. d’o—— strode into the room in a great hurry, striking his breast in a sort of ecstasy. we were surprised and almost frightened to see him so strangely excited, and rose to meet him, but he running up to us almost forced us to embrace him, which we did willingly.

“but what is the matter, papa dear?” said esther, “you surprise me more than i can say.”

“sit down beside me, my dear children, and listen to your father and your best friend. i have just received a letter from one of the secretaries of their high mightinesses informing me that the french ambassador has demanded, in the name of the king his master, that the comte st. germain should be delivered over, and that the dutch authorities have answered that his most christian majesty’s requests shall be carried out as soon as the person of the count can be secured. in consequence of this the police, knowing that the comte st. germain was staying at the etoile d’orient, sent to arrest him at midnight, but the bird had flown. the landlord declared that the count had posted off at nightfall, taking the way to nimeguen. he has been followed, but there are small hopes of catching him up.

“it is not known how he can have discovered that a warrant existed against him, or how he continued to evade arrest.”

“it is not known;” went an m. d’o— — laughing, “but everyone guesses that m. calcoen, the same that wrote to me, let this friend of the french king’s know that he would be wanted at midnight, and that if he did not get the key of the fields he would be arrested. he is not so foolish as to despise a piece of advice like that. the dutch government has expressed its sorrow to m. d’afri that his excellence did not demand the arrest of st. germain sooner, and the ambassador will not be astonished at this reply, as it is like many others given on similar occasions.

“the wisdom of the oracle has been verified, and i congratulate myself on having seized its meaning, for we were on the point of giving him a hundred thousand florins on account, which he said he must have immediately. he gave us in pledge the finest of the crown diamonds, and this we still retain. but we will return it to him an demand, unless it is claimed by the ambassador. i have never seen a finer stone.

“and now, my children, you see what i owe to the oracle. on the exchange the whole company can do nothing but express their gratitude to me. i am regarded as the most prudent and most farseeing man in holland. to you, my dear children, i owe this honour, but i wear my peacock’s feathers without scruple.

“my dear casanova, you will dine with us, i hope. after dinner i shall beg you to enquire of your inscrutable intelligence whether we ought to declare ourselves in possession of the splendid diamond, or to observe secrecy till it is reclaimed.”

after this discourse papa embraced us once more and left us.

“sweetheart,” said esther, throwing her arms round my neck, “you have an opportunity for giving me a strong proof of your friendship. it will cost you nothing, but it will cover me with honour and happiness.”

“command me, and it shall be done. you cannot think that i would refuse you a favour which is to cost me nothing, when i should deem myself happy to shed my blood for your sake.”

“my father wishes you to tell him after dinner whether it will be better to declare that they have the diamond or to keep silence till it is claimed. when he asks you a second time, tell him to seek the answer of me, and offer to consult the oracle also, in case my answer may be too obscure. then perform the operation, and i will make my father love me all the better, when he sees that my knowledge is equal to yours.”

“dearest one, would i not do for thee a task a thousand times more difficult than this to prove my love and my devotion? let us set to work. do you write the question, set up the pyramids, and inscribe with your own hand the all-powerful initials. good. now begin to extract the answer by means of the divine key. never was a cleverer pupil!”

when all this had been done, i suggested the additions and subtractions i wanted made, and she was quite astonished to read the following reply: “silence necessary. without silence, general derision. diamond valueless; mere paste.”

i thought she would have gone wild with delight. she laughed and laughed again.

“what an amazing reply!” said she. “the diamond is false, and it is i who am about to reveal their folly to them. i shall inform my father of this important secret. it is too much, it overwhelms me; i can scarcely contain myself for joy! how much i owe you, you wonderful and delightful man! they will verify the truth of the oracle immediately, and when it is found that the famous diamond is but glittering paste the company will adore my father, for it will feel that but for him it would have been covered with shame, by avowing itself the dupe of a sharper. will you leave the pyramid with me?”

“certainly; but it will not teach you anything you do not know.” the father came in again and we had dinner, and after the dessert, when the worthy d ‘o—— learnt from his daughter’s oracle that the stone was false, the scene became a truly comical one. he burst into exclamations of astonishment, declared the thing impossible, incredible, and at last begged me to ask the same question, as he was quite sure that his daughter was mistaken, or rather that the oracle was deluding her.

i set to work, and was not long in obtaining my answer. when he saw that it was to the same effect as esther’s, though differently expressed, he had no longer any doubts as to his daughter’s skill, and hastened to go and test the pretended diamond, and to advise his associates to say nothing about the matter after they had received proofs of the worthlessness of the stone. this advice was, as it happened, useless; for though the persons concerned said nothing, everybody knew about it, and people said, with their usual malice, that the dupes had been duped most thoroughly, and that st. germain had pocketed the hundred thousand florins; but this was not the case.

esther was very proud of her success, but instead of being satisfied with what she had done, she desired more fervently every day to possess the science in its entirety, as she supposed i possessed it.

it soon became known that st. germain had gone by emden and had embarked for england, where he had arrived in safety. in due time we shall hear some further details concerning this celebrated impostor; and in the meanwhile i must relate a catastrophe of another kind, which was near to have made me die the death of a fool.

it was christmas day. i had got up early in the morning in better spirits than usual. the old women tell you that always presages misfortune, but i was as far then as i am now from making my happiness into an omen of grief. but this time chance made the foolish belief of good effect. i received a letter and a large packet from paris; they came from manon. i opened the letter and i thought i should have died of grief when i read —

“be wise, and receive the news i give you calmly. the packet contains your portrait and all the letters you have written to me. return me my portrait, and if you have kept my letters be kind enough to burn them. i rely on your honour. think of me no more. duty bids me do all i can to forget you, for at this hour to-morrow i shall become the wife of m. blondel of the royal academy, architect to the king. please do not seem as if you knew me if we chance to meet on your return to paris.”

this letter struck me dumb with astonishment, and for more than two hours after i read it i was, as it were, bereft of my senses. i sent word to m. d’o—— that, not feeling well, i was going to keep my room all day. when i felt a little better i opened the packet. the first thing to fall out was my portrait. i looked at it, and such was the perturbation of my mind, that, though the miniature really represented me as of a cheerful and animated expression, i thought i beheld a dreadful and a threatening visage. i went to my desk and wrote and tore up a score of letters in which i overwhelmed the faithless one with threats and reproaches.

i could bear no more; the forces of nature were exhausted, and i was obliged to lie down and take a little broth, and court that sleep which refused to come. a thousand designs came to my disordered imagination. i rejected them one by one, only to devise new ones. i would slay this blondel, who had carried off a woman who was mine and mine only; who was all but my wife. her treachery should be punished by her losing the object for whom she had deserted me. i accused her father, i cursed her brother for having left me in ignorance of the insult which had so traitorously been put upon me.

i spent the day and night in these delirious thoughts, and in the morning, feeling worse than ever, i sent to m. d’o—— to say that i could not possibly leave my room. then i began to read and re-read the letters i had written to manon, calling upon her name in a sort of frenzy; and again set myself to write to her without finishing a single letter. the emptiness of my stomach and the shock i had undergone began to stupefy me, and for a few moments i forgot my anguish only to re-awaken to acuter pains soon after.

about three o’clock, the worthy m. d’o—— came to invite me to go with him to the hague, where the chief masons of holland met on the day following to keep the feast of st. john, but when he saw my condition he did not press me to come.

“what is the matter with you, my dear casanova?” said he.

“i have had a great grief, but let us say no more about it.”

he begged me to come and see esther, and left me looking almost as downcast as i was. however, the next morning esther anticipated my visit, for at nine o’clock she and her governess came into the room. the sight of her did me good. she was astonished to see me so undone and cast down, and asked me what was the grief of which i had spoken to her father, and which had proved too strong for my philosophy.

“sit down beside me, esther dear, and allow me to make a mystery of what has affected me so grievously. time, the mighty healer, and still more your company, will effect a cure which i should in vain seek by appealing to my reason. whilst we talk of other things i shall not feel the misfortune which gnaws at my heart.”

“well, get up, dress yourself, and come and spend the day with me, and i will do my best to make you forget your sorrow.”

“i feel very weak; for the last three days i have only taken a little broth and chocolate.”

at these words her face fell, and she began to weep.

after a moment’s silence she went to my desk, took a pen, and wrote a few lines, which she brought to me. they were —

“dear, if a large sum of money, beyond what my father owes you, can remove or even soothe your grief i can be your doctor, and you ought to know that your accepting my treatment would make me happy.”

i took her hands and kissed them affectionately, saying —

“no, dear esther, generous esther, it is not money i want, for if i did i would ask you and your father as a friend: what i want, and what no one can give me, is a resolute mind, and determination to act for the best.”

“ask advice of your oracle.”

i could not help laughing.

“why do you laugh?” said she, “if i am not mistaken, the oracle must know a remedy for your woes.”

“i laughed, dearest, because i felt inclined to tell you to consult the oracle this time. as for me i will have nothing to do with it, lest the cure be worse than the disease.”

“but you need not follow your advice unless you like it.”

“no, one is free to act as one thinks fit; but not to follow the advice of the oracle would be a contempt of the intelligence which directs it.”

esther could say no more, and stood silent for several minutes, and then said that if i like she would stay with me for the rest of the day. the joy which illumined my countenance was manifest, and i said that if she would stay to dinner i would get up, and no doubt her presence would give me an appetite. “ah!” said she, “i will make you the dish you are so fond of.” she ordered the sedan-chairs to be sent back, and went to my landlady to order an appetising repast, and to procure the chafing-dish and the spirits of wine she required for her own cooking.

esther was an angel, a treasure, who consented to become mine if i would communicate to her a science which did not exist. i felt that i was looking forward to spending a happy day; this shewed me that i could forget manon, and i was delighted with the idea. i got out of bed, and when esther came back and found me on my feet she gave a skip of pleasure. “now,” said she, “you must oblige me by dressing, and doing your hair as if you were going to a ball.”

“that,” i answered, “is a funny idea, but as it pleases you it pleases me.”

i rang for le duc, and told him i wanted to have my hair done, and to be dressed as if i were going to a ball. “choose the dress that suits me best.”

“no,” said esther, “i will choose it myself.”

le duc opened my trunk, and leaving her to rummage in it he came to shave me, and to do my hair. esther, delighted with her task, called in the assistance of her governess. she put on my bed a lace shirt, and the suit she found most to her taste. then coming close, as if to see whether le duc was dressing my hair properly, she said,

“a little broth would do you good; send for a dish, it will give you an appetite for dinner.”

i thought her advice dictated by the tenderest care, and i determined to benefit by it. so great was the influence of this charming girl over me, that, little by little, instead of loving manon, i hated her. that gave me courage, and completed my cure. at the present time i can see that manon was very wise in accepting blondel’s offer, and that my love for self and not my love for her was wounded.

i was in my servant’s hands, my face turned away towards the fire, so that i could not see esther, but only divert myself with the idea that she was inspecting my belongings, when all at once she presented herself with a melancholy air, holding mamon’s fatal letter in her hand.

“am i to blame,” said she, timidly, “for having discovered the cause of your sorrow?”

i felt rather taken aback, but looking kindly at her, i said,

“no, no, my dear esther; pity your friend, and say no more about it.”

“then i may read all the letters?”

“yes, dearest, if it will amuse you.”

all the letters of the faithless manon baletti to me, with mine to her, were together on my table. i pointed them out to esther, who begun to read them quite eagerly.

when i was dressed, as if for some court holiday, le duc went out and left us by ourselves, for the worthy governess, who was working at her lace by the window, looked at her lace, and nothing else. esther said that nothing had ever amused her so much as those letters.

“those cursed epistles, which please you so well, will be the death of me.”

“death? oh, no! i will cure you, i hope.”

“i hope so, too; but after dinner you must help me to burn them all from first to last.”

“burn them! no; make me a present of them. i promise to keep them carefully all my days.”

“they are yours, esther. i will send them to you to-morrow.”

these letters were more than two hundred in number, and the shortest were four pages in length. she was enchanted to find herself the possessor of the letters, and she said she would make them into a parcel and take them away herself.

“shall you send back the portrait to your faithless mistress?” said she.

“i don’t know what to do with it.”

“send it back to her; she is not worthy of your honouring her by keeping it. i am sure that your oracle would give you the same advice. where is the portrait? will you shew it me?”

i had the portrait in the interior of a gold snuff-box, but i had never shewn it to esther for fear she should think manon handsomer than herself, and conclude that i only shewd it her out of vanity; but as she now asked to see it i opened the box where it was and gave it her.

any other woman besides esther would have pronounced manon downright ugly, or have endeavored at the least to find some fault with her, but esther pronounced her to be very beautiful, and only said it was a great pity so fair a body contained so vile a soul.

the sight of manon’s portrait made esther ask to see all the other portraits which madame manzoni had sent me from venice. there were naked figures amongst them, but esther was too pure a spirit to put on the hateful affectations of the prude, to whom everything natural is an abomination. o-murphy pleased her very much, and her history, which i related, struck her as very curious. the portrait of the fair nun, m—— m— — first in the habit of her order and afterwards naked, made her laugh, but i would not tell esther her story, in spite of the lively desire she displayed to hear it.

at dinner-time a delicate repast was brought to us, and we spent two delightful hours in the pleasures of a conversation and the table. i seemed to have passed from death to life, and esther was delighted to have been my physician. before we rose from table i had declared my intention of sending manon’s portrait to her husband on the day following, but her good nature found a way of dissuading me from doing so without much difficulty.

some time after, while we were talking in front of the fire, she took a piece of paper, set up the pyramids, and inscribed the four keys o, s, a, d. she asked if i should send the portrait to the husband, or whether it would not be more generous to return it to the faithless manon. whilst she was calculating she said over and over again, with a smile, “i have not made up the answer.” i pretend to believe her, and we laughed like two augurs meeting each other alone. at last the reply came that i ought to return the portrait, but to the giver, since to send it to the husband would be an act unworthy of a man of honour.

i praised the wisdom of the oracle, and kissed the pythoness a score of times, promising that the cabala should be obeyed implicitly, adding that she had no need of being taught the science since she knew it as well as the inventor.

i spoke the truth, but esther laughed, and, fearing lest i should really think so, took pains to assure me of the contrary.

it is thus that love takes his pleasure, thus his growth increases, and thus that he so soon becomes a giant in strength.

“shall i be impertinent,” said esther, “if i ask you where your portrait is? manon says in her letter that she is sending it back; but i don’t see it anywhere.”

“in my first paroxysm of rage, i threw it down; i don’t know in what direction. what was thus despised by her cannot be of much value to me.”

“let us look for it; i should like to see it.”

we soon found it on my table, in the midst of a of books; esther said it was a speaking likeness.

“i would give it you if such a present were worthy of you.”

“ah! you could not give me anything i would value more.”

“will you deign to accept it, esther, though it has been possessed by another?”

“it will be all the dearer to me.”

at last she had to leave me, after a day which might be called delightful if happiness consists of calm and mutual joys without the tumultuous raptures of passion. she went away at ten, after i had promised to spend the whole of the next day with her.

after an unbroken sleep of nine hours’ duration i got up refreshed and feeling once more in perfect health, and i went to see esther immediately. i found she was still abed and asleep, but her governess went and roused her in spite of my request that her repose should be respected.

she received me with a sweet smile as she sat up in bed, and shewd me my voluminous correspondence with manon on her night-table, saying that she had been reading it till two o’clock in the morning.

her appearance was ravishing. a pretty cambric night-cap, tied with a light-blue ribbon and ornamented with lace, set off the beauties of her face; and a light shawl of indian muslin, which she had hastily thrown on, veiled rather than concealed her snowy breast, which would have shamed the works of praxiteles. she allowed me to take a hundred kisses on her rosy lips — ardent kisses which the sight of such charms made yet more ardent; but her hands forbade my approach to those two spheres i so longed to touch.

i sat down by her and told her that her charms of body and mind would make a man forget all the manons that ever were.

“is your marion fair to see all over?” said she.

“i really can’t say, for, not being her husband, i never had an opportunity of investigating the matter.”

“your discretion is worthy of all praise,” she said, with a smile, “such conduct becomes a man of delicate feeling.”

“i was told by her nurse that she was perfect in all respects, and that no mote or blemish relieved the pure whiteness of her skin.”

“you must have a different notion of me?”

“yes, esther, as the oracle revealed to me the great secret you desired to know. nevertheless, i should find you perfect in all your parts.”

hereupon i was guilty of a stupidity which turned to my confusion. i said,

“if i became your husband, i could easily refrain from touching you there.”

“i suppose you think,” said she, blushing, and evidently a little vexed, “that if you touched it your desires might be lessened?”

this question probed me to the core and covered me with shame. i burst into tears, and begged her pardon in so truly repentant a voice that sympathy made her mingle her tears with mine. the incident only increased our intimacy, for, as i kissed her tears away, the same desires consumed us, and if the voice of prudence had not intervened, doubtless all would have been over. as it was, we had but a foretaste and an earnest of that bliss which it was in our power to procure. three hours seemed to us as many minutes. she begged me to go into her sitting-room while she dressed, and we then went down and dined with the wretched secretary, who adored her, whom she did not love, and who must have borne small love to me, seeing how high i stood in her graces.

we passed the rest of the day together in that confidential talk which is usual when the foundations of the most intimate friendship have been laid between two persons of opposite sex, who believe themselves created for each other. our flames burnt as brightly, but with more restraint, in the dining-room as in the bedroom. in the very air of the bedroom of a woman one loves there is something so balmy and voluptuous that the lover, asked to choose between this garden of delights and paradise, would not for one moment hesitate in his choice.

we parted with hearts full of happiness, saying to each other, “till to-morrow.”

i was truly in love with esther, for my sentiment for her was composed of sweeter, calmer, and more lively feelings than mere sensual love, which is ever stormy and violent. i felt sure i could persuade her to marry me without my first teaching her what could not be taught. i was sorry i had not let her think herself as clever as myself in the cabala, and i feared it would be impossible to undeceive her without exciting her to anger, which would cast out love. nevertheless, esther was the only woman who would make me forget manon, whom i began to think unworthy of all i had proposed doing for her.

m. d’o—— came back and i went to dine with him. he was pleased to hear that his daughter had effected a complete cure by spending a day with me. when we were alone he told me that he had heard at the hague that the comte st. germain had the art of making diamonds which only differed from the real ones in weight, and which, according to him, would make his fortune. m. d’o—— would have been amused if i had told him all i knew about this charlatan.

next day i took esther to the concert, and while we were there she told me that on the day following she would not leave her room, so that we could talk about getting married without fear of interruption. this was the last day of the year 1759.