"w ell, jack, so you're back again," nelly hardy said as she met jack simpson on his way home from work on the first day after his return.
"ay, nelly, and glad to see you. how have things gone on?" and he nodded towards her home.
"better than i ever knew them," the girl said. "when father could not afford to buy drink we had better times than i have ever known. it was a thousand times better to starve than as 'twas before. he's laid up still; you nigh scalded him to death, jack, and i doubt he'll never be fit for work again."
"i," jack exclaimed, astounded, for he believed that the secret was known only to his mother, harry, john ratcliffe, mr. merton and perhaps the schoolmaster's daughter.
"has harry—"
"no, harry has not said a word. oh, jack, i didn't think it of you. you call me a friend and keep this a secret, you let harry know it and say nowt to me. [pg 118]i did not think it of you," and the dark eyes filled with tears.
"but if harry did not tell you, how—"
"as if i wanted telling," she said indignantly. "who would have dared do it but you? didn't i know you were here an hour or two before, and you think i needed telling who it was as faced all the pitmen? and to think you hid it from me! didn't you think i could be trusted? couldn't i have gone to fetch the redcoats for you? couldn't i have sat by you in the engine-house, and waited and held your hand when you stood against them all? oh, jack!" and for the first time since their friendship had been pledged, nearly four years before, jack saw nelly burst into tears.
"i didn't mean unkind, nell, i didn't, indeed, and if i had wanted another messenger i would have come to you. don't i know you are as true as steel? come, lass, don't take on. i would have sent thee instead o' harry only i thought he could run fastest. girls' wind ain't as good as lads'."
"and you didn't doubt i'd do it, jack?"
"not for a moment," jack said. "i would have trusted thee as much as harry."
"well then, i forgive you, jack, but if ever you get in danger again, and doant let me know, i'll never speak a word to you again."
in the years which had passed since this friendship began nelly hardy had greatly changed. the com[pg 119]panionship of two quiet lads like jack and harry had tamed her down, and her love of reading and her study of all the books on history and travel on jack's book-shelves had softened her speech. when alone the three spoke with but little of the dialect of the place, jack having insisted on improvement in this respect. with nelly his task had been easy, for she was an apt pupil, but harry still retained some of his roughness of speech.
nelly was fifteen now, and was nearly as tall as jack, who was square and somewhat stout for his age. with these two friends jack would talk sometimes of his hopes of rising and making a way for himself. harry, who believed devoutly in his friend, entered most warmly into his hopes, but nelly on this subject alone was not sympathetic.
"you don't say anything," jack remarked one day; "do you think my castles in the air will never come true?"
"i know they will come true, jack," she said earnestly; "but don't ask me to be glad. i can't; i try to but i can't. it's selfish, but, but—" and her voice quivered. "every step thou takest will carry you farther up from me, and i can't be glad on it, jack!"
"nonsense, nelly," jack said angrily, "dos't think so little of me as to think that i shall not be as true to my two friends, harry and you, as i am now?"
the girl shook her head.
[pg 120]
"you will try, jack, you will try. don't think i doubt you, but—" and turning round she fled away at full speed.
"i believe she ran away because she was going to cry," harry said. "lasses are strange things, and though in some things nell's half a lad, yet she's soft you see on some points. curious, isn't it, jack?"
"very curious," jack said; "i thought i understood nell as well as i did you or myself, but i begin to think i doant understand her as much as i thought. it comes of her being a lass, of course, but it's queer too," and jack shook his head over the mysterious nature of lasses. "you can't understand 'em," he went on again, thoughtfully. "now, if you wanted some clothes, harry, and you were out of work, i should just buy you a set as a matter of course, and you'd take 'em the same. it would be only natural like friends, wouldn't it?"
harry assented.
"now, i've been wanting to give nelly a gown, and a jacket, and hat for the last two years. i want her to look nice, and hold her own with the other lasses of the place—she's as good looking as any—but i daren't do it. no, i daren't, downright. i know, as well as if i see it, how she'd flash up, and how angry she'd be."
"why should she?" harry asked.
"that's what i doan't know, lad, but i know she would be. i suppose it comes of her being a lass, but [pg 121]it beats me altogether. why shouldn't she take it? other lasses take presents from their lads, why shouldn't nell take one from her friend? but she wouldn't, i'd bet my life she wouldn't, and she wouldn't say, 'no, and thank you,' but she'd treat it as if i'd insulted her. no, it can't be done, lad; but it's a pity, for i should ha' liked to see her look nice for once."
not satisfied with his inability to solve the question jack took his mother into his confidence.
jane haden smiled.
"noa, jack, i don't think as how thou canst give nell hardy a dress. she is a good quiet girl and keeps herself respectable, which, taking into account them she comes from, is a credit to her, but i don't think thou could'st gi' her a gown."
"but why not, mother?" jack persisted. "i might gi' her a pair o' earrings or a brooch, i suppose, which would cost as much as the gown."
"yes, thou might'st do that, jack."
"then if she could take the thing which would be no manner o' use to her, why couldn't she take the thing that would?"
"i doant know as i can rightly tell you, jack, but there's a difference."
"but can't you tell me what is the difference?" jack insisted.
"noa, jack, i can't, but there be a difference."
jack seized his candle with a cry of despair, and ran [pg 122]upstairs. he had solved many a tough problem, but this was beyond him altogether. he was not, however, accustomed to be baffled, and the next day he renewed the subject, this time to nelly herself.
"look here, nell," he said, "i want to ask you a question. it is a supposition, you know, only a supposition, but it bothers me."
"what is it, jack?" she said, looking up from the ground, upon which as was her custom she was sitting with a book while jack sat on a gate.
"if i was to offer you a pair of gold earrings."
"i wouldn't take 'em," the girl said rising, "you know i wouldn't, jack; you know i never take presents from you."
"i know, lass, i know. we'll suppose you wouldn't take it, but you wouldn't be angered, would you?"
"i should be angered that you had spent money foolishly," the girl said after a pause, "when you knew i shouldn't take it, but i couldn't be angered any other way."
"well, but if i were to buy you a hat and a jacket and a gown."
"you dare not," the girl said passionately, her face flushed scarlet; "you dare not, jack."
"no," jack said consciously, "i know i dare not, though i should like to; but why don't i dare?"
"because it would be an insult, a gross insult, jack, and you dare not insult me."
"no lass, i darena; but why should it be an insult? [pg 123]that's what i canna make out; why wouldn't it be an insult to offer you a gold brooch worth three or four pounds, and yet be an insult to offer you the other things? what's the difference?"
nelly had calmed down now when she saw that the question was a hypothetical one, and that jack had not, as she at first supposed, bought clothes for her.
she thought for some time. "i suppose, jack, the difference is this. it's the duty of a girl's father and mother to buy fit clothes for her, and if they don't it's either their fault, or it's because they are too poor. so to give clothes is an interference and a sort of reproach. a brooch is not necessary; it's a pretty ornament, and so a lad may give it to his lass wi'out shame."
"yes, i suppose it must be that," jack said thoughtfully. "i'm glad i've got some sort of answer."