saturday morning katie and i drove up into connecticut for the day. the clear sunny weather still held, as long a fall as i could remember. it was weather that couldn't last, we didn't want to waste it, and we drove up in katie's mg. it was the old-style model with running boards and exposed radiator-front, and although new york is really no place to own a car, kate had this because it just exactly fitted into a narrow area way beside her shop if she illegally drove up over the curb. when it was parked you had to climb in and out over the back end, but it saved garage rent, making it possible for kate to have it. katie had a tiny antique shop on third avenue in the forties. her foster parents—she'd been adopted when she was two—had died two years ago within six months of each other; they were elderly, older than her own parents would have been. she'd moved to new york then, from westchester, worked as a stenographer, didn't like it, and opened the shop a year later with the few thousand dollars she'd inherited. it was failing. she'd added greeting cards and a little rental library which hadn't helped, and we both knew she'd have to give up the shop when the lease expired in the spring. i was sorry, both for kate and because i liked the place. i liked poking around it, discovering something i hadn't seen before: a box of old political-campaign buttons under a counter, maybe, or something new she'd just bought such as an admiral's hat i could try on. and whenever there's been time or when i've had to wait for kate as i did this morning, i'd usually sit down with one of the stereoscopes—the viewers—she had, and one of several big boxes loaded with old stereoscopic views, mostly of new york city. because i've always felt a wonder at old photographs not easy to explain. maybe i don't need to explain; maybe you'll recognize what i mean. i mean the sense of wonder, staring at the strange clothes and vanished backgrounds, at knowing that what you're seeing was once real. that light really did reflect into a lens from these lost faces and objects. that these people were really there once, smiling into a camera. you could have walked into the scene then, touched those people, and spoken to them. you could actually have gone into that strange outmoded old building and seen what now you never can—what was just inside the door. the wonder is even stronger with old stereoscopic views—the almost, but not quite, identical pair of photographs mounted side by side on stiff cardboard, that, looked at through the viewer, give a miraculous effect of depth. it's never been a mystery to me why the whole country was oncecrazy about them. because the good ones, the really clear sharp photographs, are so real: insert a view, slide it into focus, and the old scene leaps out at you, astonishingly three-dimensional. and then, for me, the awe becomes intense. because now you really see the arrested moment, so actual it seems that if you watch intently, the life caught here must continue. that the raised horse's hoof so startlingly distinct in the foreground must move down to the solidness of pavement below it again; those carriage wheels revolve, the girl walk closer, the man move on out of the scene. the feeling that the tantalizing reality of the vanished moment might somehow be seized—that if you watch long enough you might detect that first nearly imperceptible movement—is the answer to the question kate has asked me more than once: "how can you sit there so long—you hardly move!—staring endlessly at the very same picture?" so i liked the shop; it had things like stereoscopic views to stare at. and i liked it because i'd met katie through it; it's the only time in my life i ever worked up the nerve to do what i did. i'd needed a certain kind of antique table lamp to sketch into an ad i was working on, and i came to katie's shop and stopped to look into the window just as she was taking something out of it. i looked at her; she's a nice-looking girl with that kind of thick dark-brown coppery hair that just misses being red, and the lightly freckled skin and the brown eyes that so often go with it. but it was her face that hooked me; i mean the look of it, the expression. it's the face, you know at first sight, of an extremely nice person, that's all. i liked her instantly, the person as much as the nice-looking girl. and i'm sure that's why, when she glanced up at me, i had the nerve—before i could remember that i didn't have the nerve—to touch my lips with my bunched fingers and toss her a kiss through the glass, at the same time crossing my eyes. she smiled, and before i could lose this new untypical courage i walked right on into the shop, trusting that i'd think of something to say, which i did. i said i was looking for another napoleon hat, that they'd taken my old one away. she smiled again, which shows how kind she was, and we talked. and while she couldn't come out for a cup of coffee with me then, i was back next day, and we went out to dinner. katie came down now—her apartment is over the shop—in a short brown-canvas car coat, a yellow scarf over her hair, which was a great combination, and she gave me the car keys, asking if i'd mind driving; she knew i liked to drive the mg. we had a good time, a nice day, and in the late afternoon i was driving along a little country road i'd found—a dirt road, farmland on each side, occasional stone fences, and a lot of trees, some still with fall foliage. i was going no more than twenty, just lazing along, one hand on the wheel, not thinking of anything much. off and on during the day i'd thought of rube prien, wishing i could talk to katie about it; i couldn't quite remember whether or not i'd promised i wouldn't mention even the conversation with prien, so i didn't say anything. it was still fairly warm, lots of late-afternoon sun, and katie untied her scarf, pulled it off, then tossed her head to shake out that thick handsome hair, very coppery now in the slanted sunlight, then fluffing it up at the back with one hand—a great combination of feminine gestures—and i glanced at her and smiled. she smiled back, sitting there smoothing her scarf flat on her lap; she was wearing a green tweed skirt. then she looked at me and slid closer, which was pleasant and flattering. she was holding the scarf by the front two corners now, stretching it out tight betweenher hands. she lifted it to just above windshield level and the air took it, fluttering it tautly back from the corners she held. she moved it directly over my head, and then very quickly—a scurry of motion—she drew the two corners down past my face to below my chin and let go the scarf. the wind instantly plastered it tight to my face like a pale-yellow skin, and i was absolutely blind. i couldn't even breathe very well, or thought i couldn't, and i let out a strangled yelp and was in a panic for a second or so, unable to think. just try it some time: driving along a road with a damn scarf plastered over your eyes. you don't know what to do; whether to hang onto the wheel trying to steer from memory, braking as fast as you can without skidding off the road; or whether to let go and try to snatch off the scarf before piling up. i tried both. one hand still on the wheel, and trying to remember exactly what there'd been along the sides of the road here, i grabbed at the scarf with my other hand but got a handful of hair along with it, and the scarf wouldn't budge. i was braking too hard and felt the rear end swing into a slide and knew that if the ditches were at all deep along here, the car couldn't help but go into one. i was trying to scoop the scarf off my face but my fingers only scrabbled over glossy nylon. then we were stopped, the motor killed, car slewed halfway around in the road, the rear end off it, and when i finally plucked and dragged that scarf from my face, kate was leaning back against her door, an arm raised limply to point a finger at me, almost helpless with laughter. the instant i could see, i checked the road ahead and behind as fast as i could swivel my head, and of course nothing was in sight in either direction or katie wouldn't have done it; and the ditches beside so shallow they were almost nonexistent and entirely dry. i said, "marvelous. absol(us) utely g(were) reat. let's do it again! on the parkway coming home tonight." "oh, god, you were funny," she said, hardly able to get out the words. "you looked so funny!" i grinned at her, very pleased with this nutty girl, and at that moment and for all that weekend rube prien's mystery project had no chance at all with me. i'm not going to say everything there is to say about kate and me. i've read such accounts, completely explicit and detailed, nothing omitted; and when they've been good i've liked them. sometimes i've even learned something about people from them, almost like an actual experience, and that's very good indeed. but my nature is different, that's all. i don't like to and i could not reveal everything about myself. i like to read them, but i wouldn't like to write one. i'm not holding back anything all that unique, in any case. so if now and then you think you can read between the lines, you may be right; or may not. anyway, everything i might possibly find to say about kate and me isn't what i'm trying to get down. during that weekend i didn't believe i was even thinking very much about rube and his proposal. yet at two-thirty monday afternoon i finished the last of my "lovelier you" soap sketches, walked into frank dapp's office, laid them on his desk, started to turn and leave, and instead my mouth opened, and i stood listening to myself give notice. i'd saved some money, i told frank; now, before it was too late, i was going to take some time and see if i could make it as aserious artist. it was a lie, and yet something i'd often thought of. "you want to paint?" frank said, leaning back in his chair. "no. painting's pretty much all abstract and non-representational these days.'' "you anti-abstract or something?" "no. actually i'm kind of a mondrian fan, though i think he painted himself into a corner. but my talent, if any, is all representational; so i'm going to draw." frank nodded, looking wistful. it's what he wanted to do, but he had two kids in high school who'd be expecting to go to college. he said if i was in a hurry i could leave as soon as i got rid of my current work, that he wanted to buy me a good-luck drink before i left, and i thanked him, feeling lousy about the lie, and took the elevator to the building lobby and the public phone booths. there i dialed the number rube had given me. it took a long time to get him on the line. i had to speak to two people, first a woman, then a man, and then wait for what must have been two full minutes; the operator came on for more money. finally rube spoke, and i said, "i phoned to say that if i do this i'll have to tell katherine what's going on." there was a longish pause. then he said, "well, you won't have much of anything to tell until we're sure you're a candidate. if it turns out you aren't, we'll thank you for your trouble, and in that case i don't think you'll have to tell her anything about it. can we agree on that?" "yeah." "if you reach the point of joining the project, knowing what we're doing"—he hesitated —"well, damn it, if you have to tell her, i guess you have to. we have two guys who are married, and their wives know. we swear them to secrecy, and hope, that's all." "okay. what would happen if she blabbed, rube? or if i did? just out of curiosity." "a man in a skintight black suit and a mask will come down your chimney and shoot you with a soundless blow dart, paralyzing you. then we seal you in a big block of clear plastic till the year 2001. nothing would happen, for crysake! you think the cia murders you or something? all we can do is pick people we think we can trust. and we've seen katherine, you know; inquired about her, very discreetly and all that. of the two of you, i trust her the most. i take it you're joining us?" i felt an impulse to hesitate, but didn't bother. "yeah." "okay, the first day you can make it come around about nine in the morning; here's the address."and so, three days later, on thursday morning a little after nine, too tense to sit in a cab, i was walking through the rain, the good weather finally over apparently, looking for the address rube had given me. i was feeling more and more puzzled; this was the upper west side, an area of small factories, machine shops, wholesalers, binderies. cars were solidly parked on both sides of every street, their off wheels up over the curbs. the walks were littered with wet paper, crushed orange-drink cartons, broken glass, and there were no other pedestrians. checking addresses, i walked west, coming nearer and nearer the river. i passed buzz bannister, neon-sign manufacturer, in a dirty white-stucco building, the windows piled with cardboard cartons. next door was fiore bros., wholesale novelties, a padlock on the door and a smashed wine bottle in the doorway. across the street, silent and deserted in the rain, hundreds of rusting car bodies compacted into cubes were stacked behind a steel-mesh fence. i was beginning to wonder if i'd been hoaxed, and rube prien were ... what? an actor, possibly, hired to trick me in some elaborate practical joke? it didn't seem likely, yet the number he'd given me, if it existed at all, had to be in the block just ahead but i could see that the entire block was occupied by just one great building, six stories high, of soot-darkened brick, surmounted by a weathered wooden water tower, and in a wide band of faded white paint just below the roof line i read beekey brothers, moving storage, 555-8811, and i could tell by looking at it that that sign had been there for years. the walls were windowless except at the corner just ahead and across the street from me. there, at street level, two plate-glass windows were lettered beekey brothers in chipped gold-leaf. in the tiny office behind the windows a girl sat at a desk back of a counter operating a billing machine. high up on the wall facing me, a rectangular panel painted on the bricks read local and long distance; storage our specialty; agents for associated van lines. on the street several stories below this, a green van lettered beekey brothers, moving and storage stood before a metal-slat truck door in the side of the building. two men in white coveralls stood tossing stacks of protective blankets into the back of the van. there was nothing to do except walk on toward the building, but i knew the number on its office door wouldn't be the one rube had given me, and it wasn't. i kept walking. for a full block i walked through the rain beside the weathered brick wall. between it and the sidewalk in a narrow strip of hard-packed dirt grew a scraggly, uncared-for, foot-high hedge. cellophane fragments were trapped in its stiff little branches, dirty words were spray-painted on the walls, and i wondered if i'd have the nerve to ask frank for my job back. set in the building wall at the end of the block was an ordinary wood door with a weathered brass knob and key circle. the gray paint was cracked and peeled to the bare wood in places, and the door looked locked. but stenciled on the wet bricks above it in white paint so faded you could barely make it out was the number rube had given me. i rapped on the door panel, and there was a silence except for the sky-high roar of the thursday-morning city and the sound of the rain on the hoods and tops of the parked cars behind me. i had no belief that my knock would be answered, or that there was anyone on the other side to hear it.

but there was. the knob rattled, turned, the door opened, and a black-haired young man in white coveralls looked out; in red stitching over a breast pocket it said don, and he had a copy of sports illustrated in one hand. he said, "hi; come on in. boy, what a lousy day," and i walked in past him. as he closed the door i read, beekey brothers, movers, in red block-letters across his back. we were in a windowless fluorescent-lighted office no more than ten feet square, furnished with a desk, swivel chair, and a couple of yellow-oak straight chairs with most of the varnish worn off. on the wall hung a beekey brothers calendar and a lot of framed photographs of smiling crews posed alongside beekey vans. "yeah?" said the man in coveralls, sitting down behind his desk. "what can we do for you? moving? storage?" i said i'd come to see rube prien, half expecting him to look blank, but he asked my name, then dialed a phone, gesturing with his chin toward a couple of hooks on the wall. "hang up your hat and coat," he said to me, then into the phone, "mr. morley to see mr. prien." he listened, said, "right," and hung up. "be down in a minute; make yourself at home." he lay back in his swivel chair and began reading his magazine. i sat there trying to wonder what was going to happen now, but there was nothing for my mind to work on, and i found myself examining the framed photographs: one of them, inscribed "the gang," 1921, in white ink, showed a beekey van, an old mack truck with metal-spoke wheels and solid rubber tires; half the crew wore big mustaches. there was a click from a door set flush in the wall at my right. i looked up as it swung open, noticing that there was no knob on this side. rube stood holding the door open behind him with a foot. he was wearing clean wash pants and a short-sleeved white shirt open at the neck; his forearms were fuzzy with red hair and were as large as my biceps and more muscular. "well, i see you found us." he put out his hand. "welcome, si. glad to see you." "thanks. yeah, i found it. in spite of the disguise." "oh, we're not really disguised." he beckoned me in, then let the door swing closed behind us; it made a quiet heavy thunk, and i realized it was painted metal. we were standing in a little concrete-floored hallway badly lighted by a bare bulb in a wire cage in the ceiling. a pair of green-enameled elevator doors faced us, and rube reached past me to poke the button. "actually the building is the way it's been for years. on the outside. up to ten months ago this was a genuine moving-and-storage business, a family corporation. we bought it, and we still do some moving and a little storage in a walled-off section of the building; enough to maintain the pose." the elevator doors slid open, we stepped in, and rube pressed 6. the only other visible button said 1; the other buttons were taped over with dirty adhesive. "the older employees were pensioned off, the others gradually replaced by our people; i was 'hired' and actually worked as a moving man for a month. damn near killed me." rube smiled; that nice genuine smile you couldn't help responding to. "now our estimates tend to be a little high; notmuch, just a little. and the business generally goes to a competitor. we look busy as ever, though. in fact, we are. we've even added two new vans. one hell of a lot of stuff has been moved out of here in our own closed vans; the entire interior of the building, in fact. and i guess we've brought even more stuff in." the green doors slid open, and we stepped out onto a floor of offices. you could smell the newness, and it looked like a floor in any modern office building: polished vinyl-tiled corridors under a string of skylights; beige-painted walls with stenciled black arrows indicating groups of office numbers; looped fire hoses behind glass; occasional drinking fountains; numbered flush doors each with a black-and-white plastic name-plate fastened to the wall beside it. far ahead, as we turned toward her, a girl in a white blouse and dark skirt, her face indistinguishable, walked toward us carrying a stack of papers in one arm; she turned into an office before reaching us. as we passed them i glanced at the plastic nameplates for some sort of clue, but they were only meaningless names: w.w. o'neil; v. zahlian; miss k. veach.... rube gestured at a door just ahead; the plastic wall sign beside it said personnel. "we have to get this over first; withholding forms, blue cross, insurance, the works. even we don't escape this stuff." he opened the door, gesturing me in first, and we stepped into a little anteroom half filled by a desk at which a girl sat typing. "rose, this is simon morley, a new hand. si, rose macabee." we said how-do-you-do, and rube said, "how long will you need, rose? half hour?" she said about twenty-five minutes, and rube said he'd be back for me then, and left. "in here, please, mr. morley." the girl opened the door and led the way into an ordinary office, window-less and bare-looking, lighted by a large skylight. "will you sit down, please?" i walked to the flat-topped desk and sat down in a swivel desk-chair. "the forms should be in here." she opened a drawer of the desk and brought out a little sheaf of six or eight printed forms of different colors and sizes clipped together. she pulled off the clip and spread them under my desk lamp, turning on the lamp with the other hand. "they're all here. just fill in the blanks, mr. morley; do this long one first. here's a pen." she handed me a ball-point pen. "it shouldn't take long. call me if you have any questions." she nodded at a small table beside my chair; the top was an intricate pattern of inlaid wood about a foot square, just large enough for the white phone it held. she smiled and walked out, closing the door. pen in hand, i sat looking around the room for a moment or so. a green filing cabinet stood on the wall opposite me; a mirror hung on the wall behind me; on the wall to my right beside the door was a small framed picture, a watercolor of a covered bridge, not bad work but pretty standard. that was all there was to see, and i looked down at the papers spread out under the desk lamp; they were withholding-tax forms, hospitalization, and the like. i pulled the long one to me—it was headed "personnel fact sheet"—and began filling it out. in the first blanks i wrote my name; place of birth, gary, indiana; date of birth, march 11, 1942; wondering if anyone ever looked at these things. the phone on the little table at my elbow rang, and i swung around in my chair, picked it up, and an actual physical sensation of coldness moved up my spine because the phone was green. it had been white, i was certain of that, but now it was green. i said, "hello?" "mr. prien is back for you, mr. morley. are you nearly finished?""finished? i just started." there was a moment's pause. "just started? mr. morley, you've been at it"—there was a pause as though she might be consulting a watch—"over twenty minutes.'' i didn't know what to say to her. "you've made a mistake, miss macabee; i've barely begun." i could detect the repressed annoyance in her voice. "well, please finish up as quickly as you can, mr. morley. mr. prien has made an appointment with the director." she clicked off, and i slowly hung up the phone; could i possibly have drifted off into a daydream twenty minutes long? i turned back to the form i'd been filling out, then actually jumped to my feet in panic, my chair skidding back and banging the wall. there in the blanks under my name, birthplace, and date of birth were written my father's name, earl gavin morley; his birthplace and date of birth, muncie, indiana, 1908; my mother's maiden name, strong; my hobbies, sketching and photography; and my entire history of employment beginning with neff carter in buffalo. all the other forms were filled out, too: every one of them, just like this, in my own unmistakable handwriting. it was impossible for me to have done this without knowing it, but there it was. it wasn't possible that twenty minutes had passed, but they must have. and the white phone—i glanced at it again—was still green. the hair on the back of my neck was prickling, trying to stand erect, and the fear in my stomach was like a clenching fist. then it stopped. i had not filled out these forms, and i knew it. i'd been in this room no more than three or four minutes at most, and i knew that, too. my eyes were narrowed, i stood staring out across the desk top thinking, then i saw the watercolor on the wall. the covered bridge was gone; now it was a pine-covered snow-capped mountain, and i laughed aloud, the fear instantly shrinking to nothing. the door opened, and rube prien walked in. "all finished? what's the matter?" "rube, what in the hell do you think you're doing?" i stood grinning at him as he walked toward the desk. "why am i supposed to think i've been here twenty minutes?" "but you have." "and that the picture on the wall"—i nodded at it—"changed from a bridge to a mountain?" "the picture?" rube was standing before my desk, and he turned to look back at the watercolor, puzzled. "it's always been a mountain." "and was the phone always green, rube?" he glanced at it. "yeah, i guess so; far as i can remember." i was slowly shaking my head, still smiling. "it's no use, rube; i've been here five minutes at the most." i gestured at the papers on the desk top. "and i never filled those out, no matter how much it looks like my writing."through a moment or so rube stood looking across the desk at me, his eyes concerned. then he said, "suppose i swear to you, si, that you did? and that you've been here"—he looked at his watch—"just under twenty-five minutes?" "you'd be lying." "and suppose rose swears it, too?" i just shook my head. suddenly i squatted down beside the little telephone table and looked underneath it. there hung the white phone, held in place and the receiver prevented from falling by a wide u-shaped copper band fastened between two sides of the underpart of the table; near it was fastened a small metal box from which a pair of thin wires ran down the inside of the table leg. i pressed the table top near the edge, and a panel within the intricate design revolved, the white phone rolling up into sight, the green phone sliding down onto the copper holding strip. when i looked up at him rube was smiling, and he beckoned over his shoulder at the office doorway behind him. a man in shirt-sleeves walked in. he was young, dark-haired, with a thin trimmed mustache, and he was looking at me in a pleased way. as he walked toward us rube said, "dr. oscar rossoff, simon morley." we each said how-do-you-do, and he reached across the desk top while my hand rose to shake his, but instead of taking my hand he took my wrist between thumb and fingers. after a moment he said, "pulse almost normal, and slowing rapidly. good." he let go my wrist, stood smiling at me happily, and said, "how did you know? what tipped you off?" in the doorway rose stood watching us, smiling. "nothing tipped me off except that it's impossible. i just knew i hadn't filled out those forms. that i hadn't been here twenty minutes." i had to smile again as i nodded toward the picture. "and that a few minutes ago that crazy mountain was a bridge." "inner-directed," rossoff was murmuring before i finished. "this is fine," he said to rube, "a very good reaction." he turned to me again. "to you it may seem unremarkable but i assure you many people act differently. one man jumped up and ran out through the door; we had to grab him in the hall and explain." "well, fine; glad i passed." i tried not to look it, but i felt pleased as a kid who'd just won the spelldown. "but what's the idea? and how'd you work it?" rube said, "we already knew the facts. it took an expert forger four hours to do those forms in a chemical ink. all but the first three blanks of the long form; those we left for you. there's a small infrared tube in the desk lamp; it makes the ink visible a few seconds after it's turned on. rose watches through the mirror behind you; there's a corridor from her desk. as soon as you fill in thefirst three blanks, she phones you from an extension there and turns on the infrared tube. time you're off the phone, and look back at the papers—hey, presto!—all the blanks are filled." "and the picture?" rube shrugged. "a hole in the wall behind the glass and frame. while the candidate's writing, i just pull out the bridge and shove in the mountain." "well, it beats the katzenjammer kids, but what's the point?" rossoff said, "to see how you react when the impossible is happening: some people can't take it. they rely on things being what they ought to be, and behaving as they always have. when suddenly they aren't, and don't, their senses actually surrender, can't cope. right at that desk, they fail. don, downstairs, was one; we had to give him a pill even after he knew what had happened. but you're guided from within, not from the outside. you know what you know. come on into my office now, and have some coffee. a drink, if you want it; you've earned it." rossoff's office was down the corridor rube and i had come along, around a corner, then in through a door labeled infirmary. as rossoff pushed it open for rube and me, i was reminded of a hospital, and i realized that the door was wider than most. we walked on through a large room, unlighted except for a skylight. it contained a desk, a row of wicker chairs along a wall, a fluoroscope, an eye chart, and what i took to be a portable x-ray machine. rube said, "no more tricks from now on, si, i promise. that was the one and only." "i didn't mind." off to one side as we crossed the big room were the doorways of other, lighted rooms; from one i heard voices in casual conversation; in another i saw a man in a white hospital gown, his foot in a cast, sitting on an examining table reading a reader's digest. we walked into a small reception room; a nurse in white uniform stood at a filing cabinet leafing through folders in the open top drawer. she was holding a pen in her teeth by the barrel, and she smiled as well as she could; rube pretended he was going to swat her in the rear as we passed through, and she pretended to believe him, swinging out of the way. she was a big, good-looking, good-natured woman in her late thirties, with a lot of gray in her hair. in his office rossoff said, "sugar? cream?" walking toward a low magazine table and a glass jug of coffee on a hot plate. "i hope not, because we haven't got any." "i believe i'll take mine black," rube said, sitting down in an upholstered chair. "how about you, si?" "black sounds good to me." i sat down in a green-leather chair, looking around me. it was a large rectangular room, windowless but filled with daylight from two immense skylights. i liked the room and felt comfortable in it. it was carpeted in gray and the walls were papered in a cheerful red-and-green pattern. at one end the doctor's desk was a mess, heaped with stackedbooks and papers. the other end was floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, and rossoff, handing me a cup of coffee, saw me looking at them. "go take a look, if you like," he said, and i got up and walked over, tasting my coffee, which wasn't too good. i'd expected the books to be medical texts, and a lot were. but six or eight feet of shelving was history: college textbooks, reference books, biographies, all kinds of books on every period, country and historical personage you could think of. and there must have been two hundred novels, many very old judging from the bindings, none of their titles familiar to me. on the way back to my chair, sipping the coffee, i took a quick look at the framed diplomas, new york state license, and photographs that nearly covered a wall above the back of a green-leather davenport. rossoff, i saw, was an m.d. and a psychologist, from johns hopkins. he also had a cheerful-looking wife, two grade-school-age daughters, and a basset hound. "all mine, the dog especially," he said, when he saw me glance at the pictures. we had our coffee, talking idly, filling in a five-minute pause. mostly we talked about the san francisco giants, and a plan of rossoff's to force them back to new york by kidnapping willie mays. then rube set his cup on a little table beside him and stood up. he said, "thanks, oscar; the coffee was atrocious. si, i'll be back when the doc's finished with you, and we'll go see the director." he left, rossoff asked if i wanted more coffee, and i said no. "okay; now then," he said, "i have some tests i expect i'll be asking you to take presently. mostly of a kind i'm sure you're familiar with. i may ask you to look at some rorschach blots and tell me what nasty things they make you think of. that sort of thing. if you do all right, then we may want to find out how good a liar you are. i may ask you to pose, with no advance warning, as something you're not; a lawyer, for example. and withstand the questionings of three or four people apparently suspicious of the pose. or you may deny you're artist, that you've ever been to new york, sitting in conversationwithseveralstrangers,a(an) llfromthe(or) project, who will try to trap you. but all that later. there's something else has to be done first. incidentally, has it occurred to you that we may all be nuts, and that you've wandered into an immense booby-hatch?" "that's why i joined up." "good; obviously you're the type we need." i liked rossoff; if he was trying to put me at ease he was succeeding. he said, "have you ever been hypnotized for any reason?" "no, never." "do you have any feelings against it? i hope not," he added quickly. "this is most important; we have to be certain, first of all, that you can be hypnotized. some people can't, as you undoubtedly know; the only way to find out is to try."i hesitated, then shrugged. "well, i suppose if it's someone competent..." "i'm competent. and i'll do it. if you're willing." "okay. i've come this far; it wouldn't make sense to let that stop me." rossoff stood up, walked to his desk, and picked up a yellow wooden pencil. he sat down again, hitching his chair closer to mine till we sat only a yard apart, facing each other. holding the pencil vertically before me, by the point, he said, "we'll use an object. this or most anything else will do; it doesn't have to be shiny. just stare at it, if you will, please, not particularly intently; and if you want to blink or glance away do so. the only important thing here is that if you tense up and resist, i won't be able to do it. i need your okay in more than words; you have to agree mentally. within yourself. and completely. all the way. don't fight it at all. don't resist. are you perfectly comfortable? just nod, if you are." i nodded. "fine. if you sense any resistance in your mind, let it thaw. just sit and watch it melt, then let it drain away. relax your muscles, incidentally; i want you really quite comfortable. relax even your jaw; let your mouth hang open a little, and let your eyes unfocus. i think you're feeling it a little now; you're intelligent and perceptive, and i believe you're accepting this very well. really very well, and it's rather pleasant, isn't it? and nothing to be concerned about. occasionally i practice auto-hypnosis, which can be done very easily, and which you will learn, too. just four or five minutes of self-hypnosis, which actually means nothing more than opening your mind to suggestion, your own suggestion, can be wonderfully refreshing. i can cure a tension headache with it; i never use aspirin. i think you're feeling how relaxing this can be. isn't it a nice way to rest? better than a drink, better than a cocktail." he lowered the pencil, saying, "i'll tell you how wonderfully relaxed you are, in fact. look at your right arm lying there on the arm of your chair. it's so completely relaxed, more than ever before in your life, even when you've been asleep, that you can't lift it. the muscles are too relaxed, they refuse to move. when i count to three you'll see for yourself. try to lift your arm when i say 'three.' you won't be able to. one. two. three." my arm wouldn't move. i stared at it, leaning closer, my eyes fixed on my coat sleeve, my brain willing it to move. but it lay absolutely motionless; it would no more move at my silent command than the doctor's desk. "all right, don't be in any way concerned; you've willingly put yourself under my hypnotic suggestion, and done it very well, too. i'm going to talk to you for just a few minutes, now. your arm, incidentally, is entirely free to move now." i lifted my arm, flexing it, clenching and unclenching the fingers as though it had been asleep. then i leaned back into the soft leather of the chair, more comfortable and content than i remembered ever having been before. rossoff said, "in a sense the mind is compartmented. various parts of the brain perform various functions; eliminate a certain part of the brain, by accident, for example, and you lose the ability to talk. you have to learn how all over again, training another part of the mind. we canthink of memory in that way, too, if it's convenient. memories can be shut off. closed down as though they had never existed. when it happens extensively we call it amnesia. right now we're going to close off only a small part of your memory. when i tap this pencil against the arm of my chair, you will forget the name of the man who brought you here. for the time being it will be gone from your mind, as impossible to recall as though you never knew it." he tapped the pencil against the leather arm of his chair; it made only the smallest sound but i heard it. "you remember the man, don't you, who first talked to you and induced you to come here? and who just had coffee with us? you can picture his face?" "yes." "how was he dressed, by the way?" "wash pants, white shirt with short sleeves, brown moccasin loafers." "could you draw a sketch of his face?" "sure." "okay, what is his name?" nothing came to mind. i thought. i ran over names in my mind: smith, jones; names of people i knew or had known; names i had read or heard. none of them meant anything; i simply didn't know his name. "you understand why you can't think of it? that you're under hypnotic suggestion?" "yes, i know." "well, see if you can break through it. do your damnedest. you know his name. you've used it and heard it several times today. come on, now; what is his name?" i closed my eyes, straining. i searched my mind, tried to force out that name, but there was no way to find it. it was as though he were asking the name of a stranger in the street. "when i tap this pencil on the arm of the chair again, you will remember it." he tapped the pencil against the leather and said, "what is his name?" "ruben prien." "all right. when i clap my hands together you will come out of hypnosis completely. there will be no lingering remainder, no vestige of it. all hypnotic suggestibility will be gone." he clapped his hands together, not loudly but with a sharp hollow pop. "feel all right?" "yeah, fine.""let me just test to be sure. when i tap this pencil against the arm of my chair, you will forget my name. you will be completely unable to recall it." he tapped the chair arm with the pencil again. "now, what is my name?" "alfred e. neuman." "no, come on now, no kidding around!" "rossoff. dr. oscar rossoff." "okay, fine. just testing; you're clear. well, you did good, a first-rate subject. i have a hunch you'll do. next time i may have you bark like a seal and eat a live fish." i looked at rorschach blots then, and told rossoff what thoughts they started. i looked at pictures, interpreted them, and drew a few myself. i did a short true-or-false test. i filled in words missing from sentences. i talked about myself and answered questions. wearing a blindfold, i picked up objects and described their sizes and shapes, and sometimes their uses. finally rossoff said, "enough. more than enough. i've generally run tests for several days, sometimes a week, but... we're not really so damned sure of what we're doing that i can pretend to pinpoint the requirements for performing what is probably an impossibility. i have the strongest kind of hunch about you, and no test is going to make me change my mind. they all confirm it, anyway. as well as i'll ever be able to figure it out, you're a candidate." he looked over at the closed door of the office, listening. we could hear the murmur of a man's voice, then a woman's laugh, and rossoff yelled, "rube, get your hands off alice, and come on in here!" the door opened, and a very tall, thin elderly man walked in, and rossoff got quickly to his feet. "it's not rube," the man said, "and my hands weren't on alice, i'm sorry to say." "it was the other way around," the nurse said, reaching into the office for the doorknob; she closed the door, smiling. rossoff introduced us. this was dr. e.e. danziger, director of the project, and we shook hands. his hand, big and hairy and with prominent veins, wrapped right around mine, it was so large, and his eyes stared at me, excited, fascinated, wanting to know all about me in one look. the words spilling out, he said, "how does he test?" and while rossoff told him, it was my turn to study him. he was a man you'd know again if you saw him just once. he was sixty-five or -six, i thought, his forehead and cheeks heavily lined; the cheek lines were a series of three curved brackets beginning at the corners of his mouth and extending up to the cheekbones, widening and deepening when he smiled. he was bald and tanned, the top of his head freckled, his side hair still black, or possibly dyed. he must have been six feet five inches tall, maybe more; and he was thin and lanky, wide-shouldered but stooped. he wore a jaunty polka-dotted, blue bow tie; an old-style double-breasted tan suit, the coat hanging open; and a brown button-up sweater under the coat. hewas well into his sixties but he looked strong, he looked masculine and virile; i had a hunch that he might not at all mind getting his hands on alice, and that maybe she wouldn't mind either. to rossoff, speaking slowly, he said, "you say yes?" and when rossoff nodded, he said, "then i do, too. i've gone over all we have on him, and he sounds right." he turned and stood looking at me soberly and searchingly for some seconds; during this rube stepped into the office and very quietly closed the door. i was beginning to feel a little embarrassed by dr. danziger's stare when he suddenly grinned. "all right!" he said. "and now you'd like to know what you've got yourself into. well, first rube will show you, then i'll try to tell you." he gripped his coat lapels in his big freckled fists, his arms hanging loosely, and stood staring at me again, smiling a little, nodding slowly; in approval, i felt, and was more pleased than i'd have thought. "i'm in charge of this establishment," danziger continued then. "i began it, in fact. but just now i envy you. i'm sixty-eight years old, and two years ago when i understood that this project was going to become real, i began taking care of my health for the first time in my life. i quit smoking. i never thought i could and never much wanted to, but i quit"—he snapped his fingers —"like that. i miss it." his hand returned to his lapel. "but i'm not going to start again. i drink moderately; medicinally, actually. and i once drank a lot on occasion. frequent occasion. because i liked it. but no more now, and i follow a diet besides. why all this nonsense?" he raised a hand, forefinger pointing up. "because i want to live and be with this project just as long as i possibly can. i've had an interesting life, i haven't been cheated; i've been in two wars, lived in five countries, had two wives, a great many friends of both sexes, and once for four years i was rich. no children, though; you can't have everything." again dr. danziger stared at me, eyes friendly and envious, hands hung on his lapels. "but if this project should succeed, it will be the most remarkable thing mortal man has ever done, and i'll give up anything, i'd follow a diet of raw turnips and horse manure, just to get an extra year or even an extra month of life for it. no matter how carefully a man lives, though, at sixty-eight his remaining years are numbered, while you— you're what: twenty-eight?" i nodded. "well, you've got forty years on me then, and if i could steal them from you i'd do it, cheerfully and without compunction. i even envy you this day. have you ever given someone a book you enjoyed enormously, with a feeling of envy because they were about to read it for the first time, an experience you could never have again?" "yes, sir; huckleberry finn." "right. well, that's how i feel about the day you're going to have now. take him away, rube. there's lots to show him, and we're in a hurry now." he raised a wrist to look at his watch. "bring him to the cafeteria at noon."