jake was in his office: it was eleven thirty-five and julia and i stood in the darkened doorway of the morse building directly across nassau street from the potter building entrance, and i counted floors and then windows; on the third floor up from the nassau street entranceway the second window to the right was a tall rectangle of yellow light. it was jake's office, the only room lighted in the entire dark face of the old building. ten minutes later it lowered, flickered redly for a moment, then was out. julia's arm was under mine, and i felt it tighten. to herself she murmured, "he's leaving," and i nodded in the darkness. there was a three-quarter moon out, very high in the sky, but we stood far back, deep in the complete darkness of the doorway. i pictured jake ... locking his office door now ... walking down the short hall in the faint light from outside, perhaps using a match, though i could see no light. down the stairs then, a hand on the banister. and now, just about now, he'd be turning to walk through the long hall the length of the building toward park row and city hall park. crossing the street toward it, he'd glance up at the city hall clock; it would say ten or eleven minutes to twelve. perhaps far across the park in the moonlight carmody, too, would be entering it, a heavy satchel at the end of one arm. i pressed julia's arm to step forward, and—you can never entirely anticipate what anyone else will do—jake stepped out of the entrance directly across the street onto the sidewalk, and stood looking carefully around in every direction. was he listening, too? we'd instantly frozen motionless, not breathing. could my pounding heartbeat actually be audible in the complete silence? had our feet shuffled and made a sound? across the street, jake walked on past our doorway to beekman street and then across beekman, on down toward ann street, his footsteps loud and echoing between building walls. of course he hadn't left by the park row entrance to be seen by carmody and whoever else might have been waiting and watching just across the street in the park. instead, he would come toward city hall park now, walking north on broadway and entering it from the west, keeping the location of his office a secret till he was ready to lead carmody toward it himself. we waited, listening, watching from our doorway. i saw jake reach ann street and turn west out of sight, the sound of his steps instantly cut off. then we hurried across nassau street—we had minutes at most—and up the moonlit stairs, and down the short hall to jake's doorway. i had mykey out, found the lock, turned the key, and the door opened. i struck a match and walked, shielding it with my hand, to the jet over the desk, turned it up, touched the match to the tip, and it popped redly into flame. i lowered it to steadiness, then actually ran across the room to reach under the bottom board of the covered-over doorway, and find my hammer. there was nothing to do but accept a certain amount of squealing protest from the nails as i pulled them. but i drew slowly with an even pressure, keeping the noise down; and as soon as they were loosened, i pried the board off silently with the hammer claws. two boards off, then a third, leaving a foot-and-a-half opening a couple of feet above the floor; i helped julia as she ducked, her hands on the board just below the opening. she got one leg through, then lowered her shoulders, ducked her head under, and cried out in fright. i looked through the opening: the room was lighted dimly by moonlight through its single tall window, and most of its floor was gone, nothing but black space below. they'd worked, the carpenters, since i'd seen them last; finishing the second floor below, then moving up to this one, and sawing out the floor boards up here, exposing the long joists. they'd worked—possibly this afternoon—from the far wall, back toward the doorways, and now there was left only a corner of the floor, an approximate triangle from this boarded-over doorway to the door to the hall. there was enough left to stand on, perhaps to sit, and after a moment longer and keeping a tight grip, julia crawled on through. i followed as fast as i could move. we'd lost a few moments we might need if carmody had been waiting in the park and they'd started right back. they could be in the entranceway now, starting to climb the stairs. i had to take the risk, accepting the noise and hoping. holding the last of the three boards i'd pried off back in its place, nail points fitted into their original holes, i was able to hammer it back precisely in place, plenty of room for my arm to swing, easily able to see. i had the second board in place, feeling a little cramped now, but my projecting arm still able to swing the hammer. my arm was actually raised, ready to come down, when i remembered. i dropped board and hammer clattering onto the floor of jake's office, and then—squeezing, forcings not worrying about a ripped-off coat button so long as it fell on our side, scratching my face from cheekbone to ear—i fought through the two-board opening, stumbled into jake's office, nearly falling down, then ran the two steps toward his desk, my arm reaching out before me. then my fingers were on the gas-jet key, twisting, the light popped out as jake had left it, and in the new darkness i scrambled back, forcing my way into the empty, nearly floorless room. julia had my hammer and the dropped board ready for me, and blinking my eyes, trying to speed up their adjustment to the dim moonlight, i fitted the nails into their original holes, and pounded them in to their original depth. i remembered to lay my hammer on our side of the doorway, and as i picked up the third board we heard the city hall clock, very faintly, the bulk of the, building between us and it, begin to slowly bong out the hour. we didn't wait to count; it leisurely sounded twelve times while julia and i, each with our fingers curved around top and bottom of an end of the board, pulled it into the last opening, and—by trial and error, sliding it around—we found the nail holes,finally, the points dropping into place. each with our hands at first one end of the board, then the other, we pulled it in toward us with all our strength while i prayed silently to somebody or something not to let us slip and shoot backward into the dark emptiness behind and below us. the final slow bong sounded, the board was as secure as we could get it, and with my fingers through the cracks above and below the board, i felt for the nailheads. they projected a good half inch, and when i tried the board it wobbled. but it was firm enough, i told myself, and would look all right from the other side. we had a minute or two, it turned out, and it may have been as long as three, to get settled. as comfortably as we could, our outer coats folded as cushions, we sat in the nearly dark room facing the boarded-up doorway. we sat, knees drawn up, arms around our ankles, as close as we could bring our eyes to the cracks without showing the tips of our shoes at the opening below the bottom board. i reached out to touch julia's knee and patted it reassuringly; at least that was the intention. we heard nothing of them out in the hall, no footstep, voice, or even the creak of a floorboard. a key rattling suddenly into the lock of jake pickering's office was the first sound of them, and julia's hand shot out and gripped my forearm. then they were in, a confusion of footsteps on the wooden floor, and, sounding terrifyingly inside the room with us, carmody's voice said, "what's this!" its sound hollow in the empty space we sat in, and julia's hand on my arm squeezed down hard. the gaslight in the next office rose high, projecting in knotholes and slits of light onto the far wall of our room the wavering shape of the boarded-up doorway, and down its center was the shape of a man peering in. in the open few inches at the bottom of the doorway the tips of a pair of boots almost touched mine, and beside them on the floor was the silver tip of an ebony cane. "it's nothing; an elevator shaft," pickering's voice answered impatiently. we couldn't see past carmody standing less than six inches from our eyes. "let's have the suitcase." for a moment or so carmody, suitcase in hand, staring into the room over our motionless heads, didn't move. "floor's gone," he murmured to himself then, and turned away. except for the narrow fuzzy-edged bars and small circles of projected light on the wall behind us, and a yellow parallelogram of light at our feet, our room was shadows and blackness, the high moonlight slanting down through the narrow window only a pale wash of light disappearing into the darkness below. on the other side of our barricade i could see almost the entire office except for the near wall, a strip of floor, and a strip of ceiling just outside and above our doorway. my shoulders moved in a shudder of guilty excitement and apprehension at watching people in secret that i hadn't felt since childhood. "up here," pickering was saying. he stood beside his desk, facing us, pointing at its top. suitcase in hand, carmody stopped before the desk, and we heard him grunt as he swung the case up onto the desk top. both men had their hats off, hung on nails by the door, but wore their outer coats. we watched carmody's busy hands, heard the creak of straps unfastened, the metallic clicks of fasteners snapping open. waiting beside his desk, facing us, pickering stared, eyes wide.

then carmody opened the suitcase flat on the desk top and it was filled with paper money, greenbacks and yellowbacks bound into thin stacks by brown-paper ribbons. we heard jake pickering exhale, saw him lean forward to stare down. then, grinning slowly, he lifted his eyes to carmody, and they were friendly, happy, as though both of them shared the pleasure of the sight on the desk top. "it's all here?" he said slowly; his voice was awed. carmody nodded, and jake grinned again, very fond of carmody now, everything forgiven. still nodding—i watched the gleam of his dark hair as his head moved—carmody said, "yes: it's all there. all you're going to get: ten thousand dollars." i was holding my breath, and i had to give jake credit; he hung onto his grin. but his eyes narrowed and in the slight flicker of the gaslight they glittered at carmody, hard and menacing. he didn't say anything; he placed the knuckles of his fists on the edge of his desk and leaned forward on his stiffened arms over the suitcase toward carmody, and waited, staring at him till carmody had to speak. "the public is tired of tweed ring scandals!" he said angrily, but his voice was defensive. "as a minor nuisance you and your information"—he nodded at the suitcase before them—"are worth that much but no more. the ring is dissolved and tweed is dead, like most of the witnesses." with the silver head of his cane—it was molded in the shape of a lion's head—he gestured at the filing cabinets around the walls. "and all your papers can't send me to prison." "oh, i know that." jake didn't alter his position. "your money will keep you out of jail; i always understood that. but i'll destroy your reputation, and your money won't ever bring that back." carmody laughed, a snort through the nostrils, and began pacing the room. gripping his cane at the middle, he waggled the head, gesturing as he spoke. "reputation," he said scornfully. "you're a clerk. with a clerk's mentality. did you believe that anyone who matters would think the less of me because of your information? hardly a rich man in the city who hasn't done all that i have, and most of them worse!" he stopped at pickering's desk and with the head of his cane contemptuously touched the suitcase full of money. "take this, and think yourself lucky." but once more jake was grinning. "you're rights; carnegie wouldn't care. he'd merely think you a fool for getting caught. and gould wouldn't care. of michaels or morgan, seligman or sage, or any of the rest of them. the men wouldn't care at all." he reached across the stacks of money into a pigeonhole of his desk, and brought out a long newspaper column torn carefully down both sides. it was folded in half, and he opened it, turning so the light would catch it; i could see that it was a long printed listing, apparently printed in a double column. " 'mrs. astor,' " he read from the top of the list, his voice supplying the quotation marks. "that is all it says, because we all know which mrs. astor, don't we? and she would care, mr. carmody. 'mrs. august belmont' would care. 'mrs. frederic h. betts, mrs. h.w. brevoort, mrs. john h. cheever, mrs. clarence e. day'—they would all care. and 'mrs. stuyvesant fish, mrs. robert goelet, mrs. ulysses s.—' " "what are you reading?" carmody said harshly.

"a few names at random. from the list of managers of the charity ball at the academy of music tonight. 'mrs. oliver harriman, mrs. j.d. jones, mrs. pierre lorillard, mrs. thomas b. musgrave, mrs. peter r. olney, mrs. john e. roosevelt, mrs. a.t. stewart'; they'd all care! and 'mrs. w.e. strong, mrs. henry a. taber, mrs. cornelius van—' " "that's enough." "not quite." pickering looked up from his list. "there is one name i passed by: the most important of all. she would care the most of any on this list, because never again would her name be included in such illustrious company." pickering's forefinger moved to the top of the list, began to slowly slide down it, and stopped almost immediately. " 'mrs. andrew w. carmody,' " he read, and the silver lion on carmody's cane smashed down onto his head, and he dropped like a stringless puppet, striking the desk chair, sending it squealing across the office. julia had gasped; more than a gasp, it was a choked cry, but the shrill of the chair covered the sound, and as she tried to rise i grabbed her shoulders, holding her down, my lips at her ears whispering, "no! no! he's not really hurt!" though i didn't know that. carmody stood staring at pickering crumpled on the floor; then he looked at the blood-reddened head of the cane in his hand. he looked at the open suitcase full of money, then down— not at pickering now but at the newspaper fragment in pickering's hand, because he suddenly stooped and snatched it from pickering's fingers. he stood reading it then, scanning it, rather, rapidly searching for a name. he found it, and murmured aloud, " 'mrs. andrew w. carmody.' " for a moment longer he stared at the printed list, then again looked down at pickering motionless on the floor. suddenly he crumpled the clipping in his hand to a ball, and threw it hard at pickering. he threw his cane to the floor, and actually ran the two steps necessary to reach the desk chair. he pulled it to pickering's side, stooped, gripped him under the arms, and dragged him limply up into the seat of the chair. there, head lolling, pickering would have slid off the seat, but carmody shoved down the back of the chair, tilting it so far that only pickering's toes touched the floor. carmody reached down, unfastened pickering's belt, and yanked it from its loops. then he threaded it through the slats of the chair back and brought the ends together across pickering's chest and upper arms. they wouldn't meet, and with one upraised knee carmody held the chair tilted, removed his own belt, and fastened an end to the buckle of pickering's. then he looped the double belt around pickering's chest and upper arms just above the elbows. with the buckle at the back, he cinched it so tightly we heard leather and wood creak, and i wondered if pickering could breathe. but he could: he was stirring as carmody finished, mumbling, a long thread of saliva swaying at his mouth corner as, eyes still closed, he struggled to lift his head. carmody stepped back, picked up his cane, and walked swiftly around to the back of pickering's chair. jake's head lifted, i saw his eyes open, focus, then squeeze tight shut as the pain of the concussion struck him. his head must have throbbed agonizingly because i saw his face go dead-white; then his cheeks puffed and his shoulders hunched as he fought against nausea. for a few seconds he didn't move. then he very slowly lifted his head again, and opened his eyes a little at a time, accustoming them to thelight. his shoulders convulsed once again, then he was able—blinking a lot—to keep his eyes open, and the color began to return to his face. he stared down at himself for a few seconds. then his hands moved up to the belt. but the most they could do, bent as far as they'd go at the wrists, was brush the leather with the tips of his fingers. carmody walked around the chair to face him. they looked at each other: a narrow almost perfectly straight ribbon of drying blood ran down pickering's temple, and another down his forehead to the corner of one thick, black eyebrow. carmody said, "you've created an impossible situation. you found the key." with the tip of his cane he touched the little crumpled ball of newsprint, then flicked it toward the boarded-up doorway where it shot under the bottom board, rolling past me, and i saw it drop down the shaft. "this season is the first in which my family has taken its place among new york's society. it won't be the last; i'll see to that." he closed and strapped the suitcase, then swung it to the floor, setting it beside the door. "you should have taken this much when you had the chance. now it will be nothing." carmody took off his coat, tossed it to the desk top, unfastened his tie and collar, unbuttoned his vest, then took a cigar from a vest pocket, and lighted it carefully. when it was going good, he shook out the match, dropped it to the floor, and stepped on it. then he walked to a filing cabinet and pulled open the top drawer. for a few moments he said nothing, just stood there, cigar in his teeth, staring down at the coded file-markings. jake pickering could revolve his chair, and had turned to watch him. carmody glanced at him over his shoulder, apparently about to speak, but did not. he turned back to the file, and beginning at the front of the cabinet he began to look at every paper in it, flicking through them with a steadily moving forefinger. he glanced at perhaps a paper every second, his hand seldom pausing in its steady motion, though occasionally he touched the extended forefinger to his tongue and occasionally he removed the cigar from his mouth to tap the ashes to the floor. he rarely removed a paper, merely glancing at each as he flicked past it. but occasionally he stopped to read at greater length, taking the paper from the files. twice he set such a paper aside, on top of the cabinet. the others he didn't trouble to replace, crumpling and dropping them to the floor. but i suppose there were three or four thousand, maybe as many as five thousand sheets in the two-foot depth of that wooden file-cabinet drawer. the city hall clock bonged once; it was one o'clock. carmody was less than halfway through the drawer, and on top of the cabinet he had set aside only two papers. pickering said, "i've waited so that you could see for yourself; it will take you hours to search through that one cabinet alone, and there are thirteen of them all together, an unlucky number for you." carmody walked to jake's desk and dropped his cigar stub into the cuspidor on the floor beside it. he walked back to the open drawer, placed his hands in position to resume his search, and smiled at jake over one shoulder. "i have all night," he said pleasantly. "and if that isn't enough, all the next day. and as much more time beyond that as may be required." his forefinger resumed its steady motion, the continuous small sound of the flicked corners becoming almost a part of the silence.

i leaned very close to julia, and when my lips touched her ear i whispered on the exhalation, almost soundlessly. i said, "lie down; rest. we're going to be here a long long time." i could see her face clearly; as she nodded, a stripe of yellow light from the other room moved up and down her forehead. she nodded, and so slowly it was soundless, she lay back on the floor along the wall. in the doorway i carefully leaned a shoulder and the side of my head against the jamb, and with one eye watched carmody through a crack. nearly motionless, he stood before the open file drawer, head bowed, only his arm and hand in steady monotonous motion. when the clock outside bonged twice, carmody was about a third of the way through the middle drawer, and now pickering spoke again. "by now you will have observed that no complete filing is to be found in one place. to assemble all of yours—scores of documents scattered through every drawer of every case—would take me twenty minutes, perhaps. the system for discovering them lies in my head. but you've found only two in two hours! isn't it time you understood that you must deal with me?" carmody didn't pause or even glance up. he said, "all night and even all the next day for a million dollars is satisfactory wages to me," and the steady, endless riffling past sheet after sheet continued. i watched, dreamily; there was no way to measure passing time till the clock struck again. presently, without pausing in his work, carmody slowly lifted one foot and moved his leg up and down, flexing the muscles, revolving his foot at the ankle. he did the same thing with the other leg, then stood, feet a little wider apart than earlier, riffling past paper after paper. i continued to stare out at him, neither awake nor asleep. after a time carmody paused for a moment, thinking, then slid the entire drawer out of the cabinet, and, his feet shuffling under the weight of it, carried it to the desk top. sitting on the edge of the desk facing the drawer, he resumed his search, and pickering laughed at him. "i wondered when you'd think of that," he said. "if you're tiring, let me offer you my chair." but carmody didn't even move his head in acknowledgment, and his fingers never stopped. i lay back beside julia. we were in darkness here, and i couldn't tell if she were awake, and was afraid to whisper unnecessarily. i wished i had a cup of coffee, and in the moment of thinking of it i wanted it so badly it seemed impossible that i couldn't have it. something to eat, i thought then, and was instantly famished. i forced a smile but i wondered how long we could possibly stay here; i'd anticipated nothing like this. could carmody possibly mean that he might stay here all of tomorrow? it was impossible; he'd have to go out for food, he'd have to rest. and so would jake; if only both of them were to sleep, julia and i might ease our way out of here. i was drifting to sleep, and made myself pop my eyes open in the dark. i didn't dare sleep; a few feet to my right the floorboards ended; i could roll off and fall three floors to the basement. i sat up; julia was sleeping, i knew; i could just barely hear her slow regular breathing. i couldn't move back to the doorway, i realized; she might roll to the right, too, to fall or to be heard in the other room. i had to stay here beside her, ready, if she began to stir, to ease her quietly awake.

for two hours i sat not daring to even lean a shoulder or the side of my head against a wall. my head endlessly drooping and jerking upright again, i kept awake and heard the clock outside strike three; in the next room the tiny flickering sound seemed never to stop. an unbelievably long time later the clock again began to strike and as it started i stood up under the cover of its bonging. my legs were terribly stiff, and i had to reach quickly across julia to the wall beside her and steady myself. then, very slowly and completely silently, i stretched every muscle—arms, legs, back, neck—counting the slow bongs; it was four o'clock. i stepped to the doorway, and found a crack to peek through. jake was asleep, head on his chest, snoring very faintly. carmody still sat on the edge of the desk, but now his upper body lay along the length of the file drawer on the desk top before him: the top drawer, i saw, of the second cabinet. he slept silently; i had to watch closely to see the tiny motion of the back of his vest. i assume most people are tempted—at least the impulse stirs—to occasionally commit the outlandishly impossible: to whistle in church, to say something wildly inappropriate to a situation. it popped up in my mind to yell "boo!" as loudly as i could, and then watch the wild scramble in the next room. i smiled, and sat down beside julia, and knew she was awake, i'm not sure how. i lay down beside her to bring my mouth to her ear. i had to put an arm around her in order to get closer and to get oriented; i didn't mind. "you awake?" her hair brushed across my nose as she nodded. i whispered the situation then, and told her the time. she asked whether i'd slept, then made me change places, and she sat doing guard duty while i fell almost instantly to sleep. the first daylight on my face and the slow bong of the city hall clock awakened me. i opened my eyes; julia's hand was hovering an inch from my mouth, ready to close over it if i started to speak. i lifted my head and kissed her palm, and she yanked her hand away, startled, then smiled. she made a pointing gesture toward the next room, then placed her finger across her lips, and i nodded. i'd been counting with the clock; it was seven, and when it stopped i heard once again what i seemed now to have been hearing forever—the steady flick-flick of paper in the room beside us. we moved silently to the boarded-over doorway and sat down as before. except that the room was now gray and shabby with daylight—a powdering of new snow had appeared on the outside windowsills—nothing had changed. carmody sat on the desk top flicking steadily through the inches of paper in, i saw, the bottom drawer of the third cabinet. jake had turned in his chair to watch; there was a huge swollen lump on his head nearly the size of a fist, and his face was haggard, his eyes red, the skin below them drooping into wrinkles, and his mouth hung open a little. he was in pain, i thought—from the blow on his head, perhaps, or the inability to alter his position. but carmody's face looked almost as tired, his eyes dulled and staring, and i wondered if he were still able to fully comprehend the blur of paper passing endlessly before them. there were five sheets now, lying on top of the second filing cabinet. something had to change soon; that was obvious. in the new daylight, very white from the fresh snow, i glanced at julia beside me, and she looked rested, and she smiled at me. but just the same i knew that neither she nor i could stay here much longer. and neither could carmody. hemight be willing to leave jake pickering just as he was, but he himself would have to leave soon if only to get some food, and return. if he left, he'd have to gag jake, i supposed. jake didn't dare shout now and take another blow on the head, but he'd surely shout if carmody left, until someone heard and investigated—which wouldn't take long. the city was fully awake, julia and i could hear the steady roar of it outside our windows. the building was awakening, too; twice i'd heard the sound, coming up the shaft, of footsteps on the building staircase. what should we do, i wondered, if carmody left? we couldn't push our loosened boards aside and walk out through jake's office without his seeing us. i leaned back out of the doorway to look down. beside and behind me the floorboards were gone and i could see far below into the shaft, lighted at each floor by the windows facing east on nassau street. the joists of the floors below us had been removed, i saw; there was no way at all for us to get out of here by way of the elevator shaft. and i was tired. i ached from hours of sitting or lying on wooden floorboards. i was thirsty and hungry, and julia must be the same. but if there was anything to do but continue to sit here, staring into the next room, i couldn't think of it. i simply repeated to myself that something had to change soon, something had to give; and when julia glanced at me i smiled reassuringly. after half an hour or so carmody stopped. he got to his feet, revolving his shoulders, rotating his head as he bent his neck, working the stiffness loose. he stood looking speculatively at jake, and i thought i could read his mind; he was wondering if he dared leave him for a time, and how best to do it. but then he thought of something i hadn't; he turned, and began opening the drawers of jake's desk one after another. i'd once searched these drawers, too, and i remembered what he was going to find. he reached the bottom, left-hand drawer, opened it, lifted out the paper sack, looked into it, then looked over at jake, and smiled. he sat down on the desk top and ate the four or five big white crackers, holding his cupped hand under his mouth to catch the crumbs, which he tossed into his mouth last. there were soft brown spots on the apple, but he ate it all, including the core. he wasn't deliberately taunting jake, but jake sat watching him, and when carmody stood up again, dusting the last crumbs from his hands, he was grinning. he opened a file drawer, brought out the half-full bottle of whiskey, pulled the cork, and tossed down a good belt. the cork still in hand, he looked consideringly at jake for a moment. "want an eye-opener?" he said, and jake hesitated, then shrugged a shoulder, unwilling to say yes, unable to refuse, and carmody walked over and, a little contemptuously, held the bottle to jake's lips, watched him swallow twice, then took it away. then—i clutched my head in both hands, and rocked back and forth helplessly—carmody went back to work. for over two more hours we sat in a semi-stupor; the snowstorm was heavier now, snow piling up on the window ledge, lying flat against the glass. we'd been here sitting or lying on a hard floor too long, and i knew we couldn't take it much longer. most of the time julia sat simply staring at the floor and so did i; after a while i put my arm around her shoulders and made her rest against me, her head on my shoulder. it occurred to me that jake pickering looked to be in pretty good shape; his color was better now, probably from the whiskey. but he'd also had more sleep than any of us; and his arms, while bound, were protected by a considerable thickness of cloth, andthe leather binding was broad and flat; they wouldn't be numbed. still, he hadn't been able to stand or move about for over nine hours; i thought he must be in pretty severe discomfort, and i had to admire the calmness of his voice when presently he spoke. we'd heard the clock strike nine half an hour or so before, and now jake—voice a little dogged, an edge of doubt sounding—said, "a financier is bound to be skilled at figures: here is a problem to test you. if a man can search through two and a half file cabinets in nine and a half hours, how long will it take him to hunt through thirteen?" without turning to look at pickering carmody had stopped to listen, hands lying motionless on the compressed paper in the drawer before him. it seemed a mild enough taunt; i expected carmody to smile or shrug, reply in kind, and resume work. but i'd found myself automatically responding to pickering's "problem" by trying to work out the arithmetic of it in my head, and i think maybe carmody did the same. he sat for a few moments apparently thinking; and i believe that something about the inescapable answer to the question—the forced realization of the immensity of what still lay ahead, the long sickening blur of concentration he'd already gone through being only the beginning—got through to him. because he suddenly broke. he whirled to stare at jake, who grinned at him, and carmody spun back to the drawer and plunged his clawed hands into it to snatch up an immense thickness of paper. arms rising high, he whirled back to jake and slammed the whole sliding mass of paper down into jake's face. the force of it rocked jake back in his chair, the metal springs creaking, the paper cascading down his chest and off his shoulders, separating into sheaves and sheets, fluttering to the floor, sliding down off his lap. but when jake rocked forward again he was still laughing, and carmody gathered up the rest of the file, an immense wad, stood, and smashed it down onto jake's swollen head. but jake never stopped laughing, and then carmody went wild. he yanked a top drawer straight out of a file cabinet, it fell, cracked open, and spilled half its contents, and carmody booted the smashed drawer to spill out the rest. he yanked out half a dozen more drawers as fast as he could grab their handles, and every one crashed, shaking the entire floor, and burst. then carmody waded through the sea of paper kicking, and the paper flew in a waist-high storm. he stood panting for a moment or two, looking wildly around the office—for a way to get rid of the spilled paper, i think, because he suddenly began shoving it with the side of his foot straight toward our doorway. then he booted a heap of it through under the bottom board past julia and me, and we heard the flutter of loose sheets, then the distant plop of most of the mass of it landing at the bottom. he shoved out half the paper on the floor like that, under the boarding and down the shaft, before he had to stop for breath, facing jake and glaring at him, his shoulders heaving, his breath sighing; and jake never stopped grinning. the wild spontaneous action did carmody good, i think, because as he got his breath back he began to grin, too. and then for a few moments, strangely, there was almost a companionship between the two men. carmody reached into the inside pocket of his coat lying on the desk beside a file drawer, and brought out a cigar, raising it toward his mouth. but instead he looked at jake for a moment, then extended the cigar to him, and jake leaned forward, nipped off the end between hisfront teeth, and spat it to the floor. still grinning, carmody put the other end of the cigar into jake's mouth, saying mildly, "what the hell are you laughing at?" he turned to get a second cigar—they were in a protective leather case—and as jake replied, carmody bit off the end of his cigar, listening, nodding. "because you can kick my files all over the building," jake said. "you can cause me a hell of a lot of work getting them together again. but you can't eat them, carmody. somewhere in this mess, up here or down the shaft or both, are a little handful of papers that are still going to cost you—one million dollars." the cigar in a corner of his mouth, jake grinned lopsidedly at carmody who nodded, brought out a big wooden kitchen match, and expertly snapped it to light with his thumb nail. he held the flame for jake, who puffed the cigar end to a red circle; it made my stomach queasy to watch, before breakfast. then carmody lighted his own cigar, leisurely, enjoying the process, the way a cigar smoker does. he breathed out a round puff of blue smoke, then took the cigar from his mouth, and holding it between the tips of his four fingers and thumb, inspected the glowing end satisfiedly. for a moment he watched the glowing end film over with ash. then he bent his wrist to flick out the match, but he didn't. wrist still bent, his eyes moved to the flame which was halfway down the wooden length of the match now, the blackened curling head protruding beyond it. he stood staring at the steady orange flame, his thumb and forefinger crawling to the end of the match to avoid being burned. then he opened them, thumb and forefinger, and simply allowed the match to fall to the floor, the flame fluttering. it might have gone out before it reached the floor. or it might have dropped onto bare wood and burned itself out. but the match end fell, the charred end breaking off, onto the edge of a sheet of flimsy. the room was utterly silent, motionless, except for the tiny wedge of flame; carmody standing, jake leaning forward in his chair as far as he could go, cigar gripped in his teeth, both staring at that match. it seemed to go out, a thread of blue smoke suddenly rising, but no. a tiny pale flick of flame showed, held motionless, then suddenly there was a yellow-edged ring on the face of the paper, turning immediately brown. it grew, a ragged hole in the paper, a circle of expanding char ringed by flame. then it was audible, a tiny crackling, the flame reddening and jumping, the paper brightly afire. the enlarging ring of fire crawled toward the edge of the sheet, touched an overlapping sheet, and now it was afire, too. i didn't remember standing up but of course we were on our feet, julia and i, her hand clenched on my wrist, her eyes burning a question. i hesitated, standing there at the boarding, my eyes pressed to a crack. if either jake or carmody, now, had glanced at the bottom of the doorway, he'd have seen our stockinged feet and ankles, but of course neither did. the flame grew slowly, sliding across the sheets, and i knew that it could still be stamped out, that i could shove a shoulder to the loosened boards and have the fire out in seconds. i put on my shoes to be ready, and julia put on hers. then i picked up our coats and hats, and we put them on, our eyes at the cracks. i felt alert, ready to move the moment the fire got out of hand, and i smiled at julia; i was apprehensive but not frightened, and neither was she. but jake was tied, helpless. i think he tried to hold in the words, his teeth clenched down on the cigar in his mouth, but he couldn't. "jesus," he said, "no!" then he looked at carmody, and now his eyes were pleading; hating it, but pleading.

carmody glanced at him. then, fascinated, his eyes were drawn back to the plate-size ring of very slightly crackling, slowly crawling flame. "it's the answer, isn't it?" he said softly. "burn your goddam files! and that's an end to it; i simply never thought of it." "carmody. for christ's sake." jake's voice was level, then it burst out. "undo me!" "why?" he wasn't taunting him; it was a serious question. "carmody, you can't. what about other people in the building? strangers who never did anything to you!" "they'll escape; there are plenty of stairs. and the building's past its usefulness; potter will be glad to have the site cleared." he grinned at jake, picked up his coat from the desk, and put it on. the flames, i saw, could still easily be stamped out, there was no question of that, and i waited. if carmody left, i'd have to shove through the doorway, stomp out the flame, and we'd unfasten jake. i still hoped carmody didn't mean to leave jake—and he didn't. he gave him a very bad few moments while he got into his coat. then he grinned. "i'll let you loose. in a minute. we'll walk out yelling 'fire!' and clear the building. no one will be harmed." then he stood, waiting. but paper lying flat—and this was a thick carpet of overlapping sheets—doesn't burn too easily; to flare up fast it needs air from underneath. for a time the ring of flame expanded in almost a perfect circle. then we watched it turn into a charred-edged distorted oval. my restraining hand still on julia's arm and shoulder, we stood motionless, silent, watching. the importance of not interfering was strong in my mind; so long as they left soon, julia and i could leave the building at a walk. i wasn't here to alter events, least of all to save a decrepit old building. but carmody was frowning and impatient now; he stooped, picked up a double handful of paper, and began crushing and twisting it into spills, tossing them onto the flames one at a time, heaping them, and the flame and smoke suddenly flared, crackling like a bonfire, and carmody swung to jake,(now) his hands busy at the buckle at the back of the chair. it was all i could do to stand still, and while julia obeyed my hand on her shoulder, her eyes were growing frantic. then the buckle was undone, jake springing from the chair, staggering after the cramped hours of sitting—and he actually fell forward into the flames! but he hadn't fallen; he'd thrown himself onto the fire and was rolling like a madman, and the smell of singed cloth and hair filled the office! he was putting it out, he was going to succeed! then carmody had him by the foot and ankle, dragging him from the fire on his back, jake's arms and hands flailing for something to hang onto. he yanked his leg loose, rolling onto his hands and knees, scuttling back toward the flames, but carmody ran past him. he thrust the side of his foot and ankle directly into a still-burning wad, and with a sudden thrust of his leg he kicked the flaming mass under the bottom board of our doorway, julia and i instinctively stepping aside, and it slid across the floor between us and dropped. instantly we heard it roar with new life as it fell through the air, and i turned in time to look down the shaft and see it hit in a ball of flame, shatter, subside for an instant; and then the mass of paper at the bottom of the shaft burst into fire like an explosion. it was no crackle now; thesound of the fire was the roar of a waterfall, and tongues of flame leaped a third of the way up the shaft—we could feel the beginning heat of it! there was no stopping this, there could be no more waiting; i turned the point of my left shoulder to the boarded-over doorway, shoved hard with my right leg, and crashed through, sending the loosened boards flying into the office. i grabbed julia's hand, and we stepped over the last two boards, still in place. jake, on hands and knees, had carmody's foot and ankle in both hands, carmody hopping frantically on the other fighting for balance. their faces turned, staring at us in absolute astonishment. for a frozen moment they were motionless, a tableau, carmody on one leg, jake on his knees holding the other leg at the ankle. "leave!" i yelled. "you've got to leave! look, for christ's sake!" i pointed through the doorway to the shaft; there were no flames visible but you could hear the roar and see the shiny heated air tremble and swirl. then jake yanked carmody's leg with all his strength, and the other foot on a layered mass of slippery paper shot out from under him, paper flying, and he crashed to the floor, shaking it. from his knees jake leaped forward like an animal onto carmody, and they began rolling over the floor. i don't know whether jake didn't understand that the fire had gone down the shaft and that it was far beyond putting out, or whether he'd lost all ability to think at the sight of everything he'd put his hopes in about to be lost. but out in the hall i heard running steps and somewhere else a man yelled "fire!" a frantic rush of steps pounded down the staircase from the floor above, and a woman screamed chillingly. more shouts of "fire!" and now it was julia who counted. the rolling wrestling pair on the floor had been warned, they were free to leave, too, and i turned to the door, julia's hand in mine, but she was yanking her arm trying to break free. she yelled, "jake! jake, for god's sake, leave!" i was hanging onto her hand so hard i was afraid i would splinter a bone, and now i dragged her to the door and opened it. i ducked behind her, grabbing her other wrist to keep her from hanging onto the door frame, and shoved her through; then i forced her down the short hall toward the stairs. all over the building we heard screams, and yells of "fire!," pounding footsteps, shouted names. my left hand on julia's right wrist now, i was half a step ahead of her, pulling her along, and i swung us onto the stairs, running hard, feet flying, alert not to trip—then suddenly i grabbed the banister, braking us to a stop. these stairs were all right, and—we could see over the railing down the stairwell—so was the landing and the next flight of stairs to the second floor. but from the second floor to street level, the stairs directly beside the elevator shaft were completely gone from sight, a mass of solid orange flame and thick rolling black smoke writhing up toward us. a man in shirt-sleeves, a pen still in his hand, and two girls, their skirts lifted to midcalf, were slowly backing up the staircase toward us, staring fascinated at the roaring black-and-orange mass below. suddenly they whirled and ran up toward us. we ran back up the stairs ahead of them, and then as fast as we could go, all out, down the long hall that ran the length of the building toward the park row staircase. julia tried to slow at the short hallway branching off to jake's office but i had her wrist, and i yelled that they were probably out and gone. then we were past, our feet pounding the wooden floor toward the other staircase ahead. but fast as we'd moved we were still too late.

at the stairwell we looked over the rail, and the park row stairs were ablaze from first floor to second, the flames climbing the steps as we stared. obviously the fire had flashed through the entire lower floors; the whole lower part of the building must be ablaze. the man and the two girls running behind us had come up, and just as we all turned to look back the way we'd come, the flames appeared at the head of the stairs far behind us. they shot higher, touched the underside of the next flight up, and then those stairs, too, were afire, and now i realized that the floor under our feet was hot. i grabbed at the knob of a door beside us leading into one of the offices on the park row side; it was locked, and i turned—julia's hand still in mine—and we ran down this hall along the row of doors to one i saw standing ajar at the very end. the new-york observer, it said on the door when we raced up to it, and we ran into a large room of rolltop desks, wooden tables, file cabinets. a window stood open, its green shade flapping, and with julia i ran directly to it. if there was to be any exit from this building for us it had to be through this window, and i was inwardly chilled with fright. because i remembered the building's exterior. there were no ledges running around it, only windowsills, and we were three stories up, three very tall-ceilinged stories; we couldn't jump. there were footprints in the new snow on the windowsill: had someone climbed out and jumped? i looked out; no one lay sprawled on the walk below. but i saw that a crowd was already gathering along the east wall of the post office building catercorner across the street, and in city hall park directly across. the crowd grew as we stared; i could see people running to join it along all the park paths. directly below us in the street the first fire engine had stopped, two firemen running with a hose toward a hydrant, another uncoupling the horses. bells were clanging, and down park row came another engine, white steam jetting from the tall brass cylinder behind the driver, its pair of white horses running all out, manes flying, hoofs striking sparks. and far across the park on broadway a hook-and-ladder truck pulled by four gray horses made the obtuse-angled turn into mail street toward us. all this i saw in a split-second glance; then i looked back to the window ledge, and saw the sign i'd once read from the street, the new-york observer sign directly under the ledge. it was fastened to the wall at its lower edge, but the upper edge hung out a foot or so, held by rusty wires. i had no idea whether it would take our weight; i knew it wasn't meant to. it might take julia's weight; she had to go first before my weight weakened the sign or tore it loose. i said, "out, julia! onto the sign! crawl to the times building!" but she shook her head, closing her eyes, and her face went white. eyes still closed, she stood shaking her head, and i understood that it was impossible—there are people who simply can't take the fear of falling—for her to make herself crawl out onto that sign alone. i'd slammed the office door behind us to keep out the fire when it came. i turned to look at the door and black smoke was curling underneath it. there no other decision left to make now, and i stepped up onto the windowsill, crouching.ipu(was) t my left foot down and out onto the top edge of the slanting sign, and slowly transferred weight to it. it held, and holding to the sill with both hands, i lowered my right foot into the trough between sign and building. then i slowly stood, letting go the sill, easing my fullweight onto the sign, the wind flicking hard-edged snow-flakes into my face and eyes, and ridiculously, in spite of an agony of fear that the sign would tear loose and drop me, i was glad of my fur cap and overcoat. the sign groaned but it held, and i turned to the open window beside me. in her dark coat and bonnet, julia stood petrified, staring at me, and before she could back away i shot out my right hand, grabbed her wrist, and pulled so hard and quickly that she had to get a knee up onto the sill or be dragged right across it. i kept up the pressure, pulling her forward, and now to keep from actually falling out she had to bring up the other knee and i kept tugging—sharp little yanks now—and with no volition of her own, but to keep from pitching out headfirst, she had to swing her legs over the sill, and then she was out, just ahead of me, half standing, half crouched on the the new-york observer sign, a hand up before her eyes fending off the whirling snow. i saw a small kink in a wire just ahead of julia straighten under the strain, then i was shouting at her: "don't look down! don't ever look down! just move!" i pushed her, and then, half crouched— each with a left foot on the top edge of the sign, the other in the trough, our right hands moving along the face of the building—we crawled toward the times building ahead to the north, the wind moaning around us, snow and sleet slashing our faces. this building and the times building were constructed wall to wall, touching or almost so, hardly a fraction of an inch between them. the two walls served as a solid, windowless and doorless, double-thickness masonry firewall and it seemed to be working: there was no sign of fire in the building ahead. but from directly below us as we crept along high over the street, a river of heat flowed up past us, partly deflected by the v of the sign, but almost scorching on our hands as they slid along the sign's upper edge. julia moved more slowly than i did, hampered by her many skirts, and i had to stop, and again i became aware of the street and the park. fire bells had been clamoring below us, and now i looked down through the haze of falling snow directly into the spark-belching stack of a fire engine; i saw firemen running with ladders and others standing in pairs holding brass-nozzled hoses playing thick white jets into the burning building, and their black rubber coats were already beginning to whiten with new ice. police with lengths of rope stretched between them were forcing the crowd off the street and up over the curb and walks across park row. the crowd there, edging the park, was much denser now, and from here it seemed almost solid black. strangely, to me, there were a number of raised umbrellas in the crowd against the snow, and for some odd reason the sight of the tops of those black umbrellas made me realize how high up i was. i raised my eyes from the crowd, and far off across the park on chambers street, a single-horse black ambulance, a white cross on its side, raced toward us from the west. i thought i heard its bell and i saw the driver, leaning far forward, whipping the galloping horse on; then it disappeared behind the court house. it took a second or two to see those things, and julia had crawled on no more than a yard. i glanced behind and below, before moving after her: flame shot high, black smoke rolled and coiled from the top of every window i could see on the first floor and from some of the second; and on the ledge of a third-floor window the man and two girls who'd been running behind us stood huddled. he had one arm outstretched across the two girls, keeping them off our sign, knowing it would undoubtedly pull loose and fall from the weight of even one more person. he saw me looking, and gestured wildly, urging me on. i crawled ahead, trying to hurry, my foot snagged a support wire, and i heard it twang and snap behind me, heard the sign groan, felt it shuddering under our weight. a woman screamed inthat instant, very close, and i thought it was julia. but it came from just overhead, i realized, and i glanced up as i crawled on. the toes of a pair of shoes projected from a window ledge directly over me, and i leaned out over the street to look up. a woman was standing on the ledge, her eyes wide and blank with terror; there was no sign under her window. julia stopped suddenly, crouched motionless on the very end of the sign, and i leaned out over the street to look past her and see why she'd stopped. the floors of the times building were slightly higher than these, so the sign under its third-floor windows hung a little above ours. the sign was short, running under only two windows, and i could see the white letters on black reading, j. walter thompson, advertising agent. there was a foot-and-a-half gap between the two signs, and julia crouched at the end of ours, frozen—unable to make herself step up and across that empty space. our sign began vibrating violently, and i looked back: one of the girls on the window ledge, her face wild with panic, had a foot out on our sign, about to step onto it. the moment she did it would rip loose and fall; i knew that. julia had looked back, too, and she saw and understood what i did. suddenly she stood upright, and—i was certain her eyes were squeezed shut—she stepped blindly up and out over the gap with her right foot. it struck the wall of the times building, then slid down into the trough between wall and sign. she lifted her left foot from our sign, and threw her body forward across the gap, her left foot hunting for the top of the other sign. i never want to see such a moment again—watching julia's foot plunge down toward the snow-mounded edge of that sign, knowing that if it missed she'd fall out and over its edge. but it struck, slithered an instant in the slippery snow, then her right hand smacked the wall of the times building beside her, and she stood swaying for balance. she half stooped, half fell forward, and—even in her terror she remembered me behind her—she crawled on, making room for me to step across, too. but i didn't. i crept to the end of the sign i was on, and waited: i couldn't be certain julia's sign would hold us both but now i knew that this would hold two. looking back once more i saw only the one girl on it, making her way toward me. julia reached the first window and before i had time to wonder if it were open, a man's coat-sleeved arms shot out, gripped julia under the arms, and lifted her right off the sign and in through the window, her feet kicking a little as they disappeared. i stood up then, stepped right across the gap, and moved quickly toward the same window. just before i reached it i looked back through the snowstorm, and now the second girl was out on the sign, scuttling along it, but the man still waited on the sill, and now an occasional flick of flame moved out past him; the heat must have been terrible. i made a little saluting gesture and smiled, hoping it would encourage him; he had nerve. then i was at the window, the same man—young and bearded—helping me in, and julia and i were safe. i had an arm around her waist, grinning at her, and both her arms were tight around me, her head pressed to my chest. she kept looking up at me, shaking her head, and making a sound that was partly a laugh and partly a sob of relief, murmuring, "thank god, thank god, thank god." with my free arm i was shaking hands, as he introduced himself, with the man who'd pulled us in. he was mr. thompson, and this was his office. it was a fairly large room with a rolltop desk, twowooden chairs, a wooden file cabinet, a drawing board, and a batch of one-column newspaper ads, all type, thumbtacked to a bulletin board. two men stood smiling, and i recognized one: it was dr. prime of the observer, the man who'd directed me to the janitor of the other building several days ago. he and the man with him, he said, had escaped over the sign as we had. thompson turned to his window again, to help the first girl out on the sign crawl in, and julia and i left. we walked down the hall to the building staircase, and a man in shirt-sleeves came hurrying toward us, struggling into a coat. he called out as we turned onto the stairs. he was a reporter from the times: were we among the people he'd seen escaping into the building from the observer sign? i said we weren't, that they were all back in thompson's office. then julia and i ran down the stairs to the street. we stepped out into wind and slashing snow, and instantly a voice shouted angrily at us. i looked up; a fireman out by his engine stood gesturing violently, waving us on across the street; red coals from the firebox of the great brass cylinder sifted steadily down onto the melting snow between the big red wheels. before we could move, four or five men ran directly past our doorway carrying a long pair of extension ladders from a hook-and-ladder truck just to the north. one of the men, a stocky, angry-faced aged" target="_blank">middle-aged man wearing a dull-silk hat tied on with a blue muffler, shouted straight into my face as he raced past, "help us!" julia and i ran with them, they set the ladder down, and i helped them swing it up against the burning building and raise the extension. as we heaved the extension up with a rope-and-pulley system built into the ladder, i had a chance to raise my head and see what we were doing. three men in vests and shirt-sleeves, one wearing a green eyeshade, stood on the ledges of three adjoining fourth-floor windows, peering down at us through a curtain of snow. the man in the window nearest the times was panicked; his forearms upraised, fists clenched, he was shaking them violently up and down, his mouth wide-open and screaming meaninglessly. our ladder was too short: rising between a pair of windows, it touched the building wall just above the third floor, well below the three men on the fourth. i didn't know what to do, and looked around frantically; half a dozen yards behind me julia stood out in the street staring up at the burning building, and something about her expression made me run out beside her and turn to look, too. and now i saw the entire face of the building. i have, as i always will, i think, a copy of the new york times of the following morning, february 1, 1882. the entire front page and most of the second is filled by an account of that awful fire. i don't want to put down what julia and i saw now; instead i will quote directly from the times.

...the upper windows... were seen to be full of living forms. terror-stricken faces of men and women peered down through the smoke upon the thousands of their fellow-creatures below, stretching out their hands for aid, and shrieking loudly for rescue. [i'll see that forever; the way they held out their hands.] the mingled smoke and flames gave to the faces an unearthly hue, and the shrieks, mingled with the roar of the fire and the hoarse calling of the firemen, came to the ears of the surging crowd below like voices from the tomb. the firemen were doing all that men could do, risking their lives fearlessly in the effort to save those of the imprisoned sufferers, but their movements, rapid as they were, seemed slow enough to the suffocating creatures in the burning building. to reach them by the stairway was impossible, so quickly had the fire done its work. the firemen raised ladders, but they only reached to the third story, and time was necessarily consumed in raising the shorter ladders to increase their length. meantime those in the building saw death steadily and surely advancing upon them from the rear, and the preparations to save them from the outside seemed endless.... julia screamed, her hand rising to her mouth: the panicked man had jumped, his body slowly turning in a complete somersault as he fell, his legs pumping furiously and instinctively against the air for a foothold that didn't exist. we swung our heads away an instant before he struck the walk. two firemen were running toward us from the times building carrying a wooden table; the angry little man in the top hat was shouting and beckoning at me, and i ran back to the ladder. we all stooped, gripped the legs, heaved up the ladder, and staggered sideways with it, the top sliding and bouncing along the building wall high above till it rested between and below the windows in which the remaining two men were crouched. flickers of flame had begun darting out the tops of their windows, and occasional coils of smoke rolled out and up. the firemen had reached us, they shoved their table under the ladder legs, and we set the ladder down on it, and looked up the face of the building. the ladder top was closer but still well below the two men. but under these two windows ran a sign; i couldn't read it through the snow and the smoke rising from the windows below. now one of the men crept out onto the sign, crawled to a point over the ladder, turned, and hanging from the sign's front edge, lowered himself, his feet feeling for and finding the topmost rung. he let go, knees bending, grabbed the ladder top, then scrambled down fast as he could go. the little man in charge had been shouting at the second man: "you will be safe in a moment! remain calm!" and now the second man reached the ladder like the first. as he clattered down, the little man was beaming, grabbing each of our hands, and giving it a shake. "i am anthony comstock. my heartfelt thanks! god be praised!" he was saying. the two firemen stood waiting, each with his hands on the ladder; the moment the man on it dropped onto the street, they began cranking it down. they yelled a thanks to us, told us to get the hell across the street before we were killed, and we all ran across park row, ducked under the police ropes holding back the crowd lining city hall park, then turned to look back across the street.

i heard a sound from julia; she was crying, and she slowly turned her head away from the burning building. it was a sight i don't think the modern world ever sees. only the outer walls of that building were stone; the entire interior—floors, window frames, doors—was wood. so was nearly every object of furniture in all its offices and rooms. even the walls and ceilings were wooden lath under plaster. and over the years the building had turned gunpowder-dry. the fire had almost literally exploded through the entire street floor, and swarmed up both flights of stairs to the next. now broad pennants and gouts of flame leaped high, red, and frantic from every window of the lower floors; they actually seemed to be trying to climb higher. with those flames, thick sooty smoke roiled and twisted, flowing hotly up and out from the top of every one of those windows. the wind pushed down park row in bursts, the air thick with flying snow, and for a long moment or two the flames would bend with a gust of the wind, flickering and trembling, fighting to stand erect and reach up the face of the building again. any time i close my eyes and remember, i can see the horrible color of it: the dark grimy face of the old building, the terrible orange-red-and-black of the huge wild flames and rolling smoke, the spidery red lengths of the ladders, the people on the ledges mostly in white-and-black but one girl in a long vivid green dress, all of it seen strangely, nightmarishly dreamlike, through a white curtain of swirling snow. we watched, thousands of us strung along the park edge and the east wall of the post office standing in absolute silence except for the steady pump of the engines, the shouts of the firemen, and the thin cries of the people high on the ledges. those on some of the third-floor ledges were rescued fast, though the windows over the observer sign were solid flame now. the last of the third-floor people were already climbing being carried down; one girl hung limp fireman'sshoulderashebroughtherdown,her(or) armsswayinglooselydownthelengthofhisback(over) .(a) suddenly the entire crowd moaned; a few of the extension ladders were apparently long enough to reach the fourth floor but as the topmost extensions were cranked up past the third floor now, the thicket of telegraph wires strung above the sidewalks pressed against the faces of the extensions. without shifting the ladder bases impossibly close to the face of the buildings, the tops couldn't get past the wires. half a dozen firemen had lifted one ladder and, using it like a vertical battering ram, were trying to jam it past the wires by sheer force. we saw thin black threads of wire tauten, snap, and fall, the ends flying, and the ladder top burst through. two more ladders were forced up this way, and we watched people scurry down, sometimes completely disappearing in black smoke. other ladders couldn't get through, and we saw a man, and then a woman, hang from a ledge, feet dangling, and—at a shout from the fireman on top of the ladder—drop onto it, the fireman balanced, legs wrapped around the rungs, waiting to grab them. two men stood on the ledge of a fifth-floor window. suddenly the glass of the window bulged, a ball of red-smeared black smoke rolled out between them, and i saw the shards of glass fly far out over the street, twisting and falling, splintering the light as they fell through the flying snow. the window gone, the heat was too much and the tail of one man's coat was smoldering and smoking as the men dropped to their knees, turned to face the building, then lowered themselvesby their hands from the ledge, feet thrashing as they felt for and then found a toehold on the raised ornamentation set in the building's face over the fourth-floor windows. but now the flames were roaring up from the fourth-floor windows, too, and i'm certain they'd have died in seconds from the heat and combustion gases if a fireman hadn't seen them, lifted the stream of his hose from the third-floor window into which he'd been pouring it, and doused the two men. he kept it up, alternating the stream between the third-floor windows and the two clinging men until a ladder was forced through the wires to the fourth floor. a fireman swarmed up it, and must have shouted, because one of the two men shifted himself hand over hand a foot or so to one side, then dropped squarely onto the ladder, landing just below the fireman. it must have hurt and may even have sprained or broken something because he came down the ladder very clumsily—but alive. the second man, too, swung himself over the ladder, and dropped onto it. all this in moments, seconds, after we'd ducked under the police lines; then julia was shaking my arm. "jake! jake!" she was yelling in my ear. "maybe he's at a window! on the nassau street side!" i'd actually forgotten jake and carmody; they'd been pushed right out of my mind. but julia turned, and i followed her, struggling straight back through the crowd. we got clear, then ran along the ragged back edge of the crowd through the park and across mail street to the post office. there we worked our way to the front of the crowd again, people muttering, turning to glare as we edged past, a few cursing me. we got to the front, at the very edge of the curb, but the rope police-lines were up, and we couldn't cross. here we saw not only the western park row face of the blazing building, but we looked down beekman street, too, and saw the entire southern face of the building. a fifth-floor window facing park row and near the beekman street corner suddenly broke out, the glass flying. behind it something was moving, then a woman climbed heavily up onto the ledge. her face was black—from the fire, i thought for a moment—then i saw the spot of red above the dark face and realized it was a bandanna around her head. this was ellen bull, the negro cleaning woman who had told me days before where to find the janitor. standing far up there on the ledge now, she began waving her arms wildly about her head; it may have been in panic but i think maybe she was trying to dissipate a terrible heat pouring out from behind her. because in almost the next moment the flames broke out and seemed to be actually touching her long gray dress. she dropped to her knees, turned, slid off the ledge, and now she was hanging by her hands, her body swaying in the air beneath it. there were no flames from the fourth-floor window just below her yet, the glass there unbroken, but there was no foothold here either. off to our left two men had ducked under the rope and were running hard toward a wagon just across mail street. it had been trapped at the curb by the fire apparatus, an elderly woman next to us said, its team led off across the park by the owner. at the wagon the men were untying, and now yanked off, a gray tarpaulin covering, and they ran across park row dragging it with them. under ellen bull's dangling feet five stories above them, they began spreading the tarp, and maybe a dozen men behind the police lines at the corner of beekman ducked under and ran to them. but no one was in charge. we could see though not hear them shouting at each other, gesturing, yanking the tarp. they got it spread, waving each other to positions, but no one was looking up as ellen bull's hands opened, and she dropped.

there was a terrible moan from the crowd, and the men at the tarp looked up, tried to run into position, but she flashed past them and clear over here we heard the awful sound as she struck the pavement. there was a sigh of absolute despair from the crowd, and a woman near us covered her face with her gloved hands, bending double, elbows jamming into the pit of her stomach, and she fainted, toppling sideways but held partly upright by the press of people around her. ellen bull was being lifted onto the tarpaulin by the men who'd tried to save her; then four of them carried her the length of the building, and on into the times building. the times said next morning that she'd been taken to the chambers street hospital, and died half an hour later. on beekman-street an aged man was hanging from a fourth-story window [says my copy of the new york times for wednesday, february 1, 1882—and now julia and i stood in the silent crowd watching him] and the ready hands of the firemen were hoisting a ladder to reach and save him. he clung with a death-like grip, but the flames were stronger than he. they were seen to burst from the window by the lintel of which he was hanging. the firemen were almost within reach of him, when suddenly a deep groan escaped from a thousand throats, the old man's hand was seen to relax, and his body came tumbling to the hard pavement below. the man was richard s. davey, a compositor on the scottish american. the unconscious body was taken to the chambers-street hospital, where death relieved the man from further suffering in a short time. from the corner of my eye i saw julia turn to me, and when i looked at her fully her face was literally the whiteness of paper, and her eyes were enormous. almost thoughtfully she murmured, "we could have stopped it," then she grabbed my arm in both her hands and shook me so violently i stumbled. "we could have!" she cried out at me in a rage. for a moment longer she looked at me, then turned away murmuring, "i can never forgive myself." i had no answer; i wished i were dead. i had to move, had to do something, had to take some action against what was happening. in the line of cops holding the police-line ropes, the one nearest us stood like the others facing the crowd in his knee-length blue coat and tall felt helmet. but also like the others, he turned often to stare back over his shoulder at the fire across the street. this time when he did it i lifted the rope, shoving julia under and ducking after her. then we ran hard through the snow and the freezing streams from hose joints and hydrants. on the other side we were cursed by the cops, but we ducked under the ropes, pushing into the crowd, working our way toward the beekman street corner just ahead. we could smell the smoke here and hear the crackle and roar of the flames, and—during gusts of wind—feel the heat carried across to us. we reached the corner beside the new york evening mail building, then started to work our way along beekman street toward nassau street, a short block to the east; i knew julia hoped to find jake there. and then i had my chance to do something. in the next morning's times account there is a paragraph reading:

while the excitement was at fever heat, charles wright, a young bootblack, who is well-known to people doing business around printing house-square, looked up to the burning building and saw three men wildly gesticulating at the windows of the fifth or upper story. from one of these windows a wire rope was stretched to a telegraph pole on the opposite corner of beekmanstreet. it had held a banner during the last campaign. a means of escape for the three men shot across wright's mind in an instant, and in another instant he was engaged in putting it into execution. the telegraph pole was slippery with snow and ice but a dozen strong arms raised the boy and pushed him up until he reached the slight projections which serve as a foothold for the line-men. the times didn't have it quite right. the boy—a negro, by the way—turned to the pole, shinnied up a couple of feet, but a sheeting of ice stopped him, and he yelled, "help me git up!" all of us around the pole saw what he had in mind, and i stooped way down, my back to the pole, got my shoulders under his feet, then stood, boosting him higher. two men, one on each side of me, each worked a hand between my shoulders and his feet, and shoved him up a yard or so more, and now he could reach the first of the wooden footholds. up the pole the young lad "shinnied," as he expressed it, until he reached the wire rope. it was the work of a moment [it took more than a "moment"; it was a good minute or more] to sever its connection with the pole, and the wire then fell to the side of the burning building. the three men on the fifth story seized this rope and slid down it, one after the other, in safety to the ground, although their hands were seriously injured by friction in the descent. young wright was received with cheers as he reached the ground, and he became the hero of the day. but for his timely action there is little doubt that the men thus saved would have been consumed before other aid could have reached them. that part of the account is entirely right. it was beautiful to see that cable smack the side of the building when the boy let go of it; to see it hanging, then, to within a few feet of the walk; and to see the first man swing out onto it, and to see it hold. each of the next two men kept his head, waiting till the man before him was on the ground. but they all slid too fast, burning their hands. and we did cheer wright when he got down from the pole. i got a ten-dollar yellowback from my wallet, gave it to him, and half a dozen others gave him money; one man gave him a gold piece. the three rescued men came over, found the boy, shook his hand, and led him away with them, and i'm sure they must have done something for him, too, which he damn well deserved.

following is a page, greatly reduced in size, of frank leslie's illustrated newspaper of february 11, 1882, showing charles wright up on the pole unfastening the wire to save the three men. julia and i were working our way through the crowd along beekman street, when all around us heads turned to look east. just ahead, on the other side of a narrow alley, the wooden scaffolding of a big, new, still-unfinished stone building suddenly broke into flame; the fire had jumped clear across the street. the front of the building rose into two towers, higher than anything else around, and now the flames shot up the scaffolding to reach the towers. there it caught the window frames, in which glass hadn't yet been set, and ran up and along the eaves, gabled roof-lines, and the ornate railings of the tower rooftops. it was a sudden weird strange spectacle of burning rings, squares, triangles, and the parallel lines of the railings, like an enormous fourth of july set piece seen high in the air through a snowstorm, and i think the crowd turned to it, as we did, in relief from the things we'd been seeing. view of the scene at the height of the fire.

a fatal leap. escape by means of a telegraph wire. rescue of three men by charles wright.

the ruins after the fire. new york city.—incidents of the great fire on park row, january 31st. but while we were watching, a young woman had crept out onto a fourth-story window ledge of the burning building, and when i turned and saw her i wondered if she'd been inside all this time; maybe running from one side of the building to another till she found this one not yet on fire. just above her, fire roared out of the fifth-story window as though it were fed by forced draft, the tongues and billows of orange flame shooting halfway out over the street like a kind of squirming canopy over her head. she wasn't panicked, though; she closed the window behind her, careful to pull it all the way down. then she stood, raised her arms above her head, and put a hand on the window opening on each side, supporting and steadying herself. it was an astonishingly calm posture. there she stood, not shouting, not screaming, but simply looking down at us, waiting. she must have known there was no going back: that this window was her last chance, and that there wasn't much time before the fire burst through it behind her. and nothing was happening, no fireman coming with a ladder below. i suppose they thought, and they couldn't be blamed, that no one else would appear at a window along here at this stage of the fire. the girl stood waiting, in her long black dress, arms outstretched, hands on the sides of the window opening which framed her; she wore a white scarf tied around her neck. suddenly the glass broke behind her, and a tremendous gout of black smoke filled the entire window, rolling on out and hiding her completely. near us a woman cried out, anguished, and the crowd stirred, muttering. down the line somewhere a man was shouting angrily for a ladder. out on beekman street a cop ran past us fast as he could go. there was no flame in the black smoke pouring out over the ledge up there, and we all—every last soul in that crowd, i'm certain—held our breaths: would she be gone when we saw the ledge again? julia didn't know it but she had both hands on my forearm, squeezing, squeezing.

the wind pulled the smoke away fast and she was still there, one hand on the window frame, the other cupped tightly over her mouth; now she struck her chest hard and we could see she was coughing. then again she stood, arms outstretched between the stone sides of the opening, looking down at us and waiting, and the crowd was murmuring at her calmness and bravery. minutes passed; a man near us stood staring up at the girl and cursing steadily; he may not have known he was doing it. then, finally, two firemen came running around the corner from nassau street carrying an extension ladder. but at the building wall they stood, still holding the ladder, and talking, one man shaking his head violently. the cop at the police line had run over to them, and now he ran back: "ladder's too short!" he yelled to us. one fireman began running back the way he'd come, then stopped—i never knew why—and came running back. and now they lifted the ladder up against the building and rattled the extension up fast, the ladder tops bouncing against the wall as it rose. it was too short. there was newspaper criticism, in days that followed, of the shortness of fire-department ladders in a time when many buildings were four, five, and six stories tall, and newer ones ten. this ladder, raised to its highest now, touched the wall a good four feet below the girl's ledge; and now again a great slow billow of soot-black smoke rolled across the window-sill behind the girl, and covered her completely. she'd have died, i'm certain, lost consciousness and fallen back into the building or out and down onto the street, except for the wind. it snatched the slow roll of smoke and sent it flying in thinning fragments along the face of the building, and we could see the white scarf and the black skirt fluttering. i want to explain. since we'd stepped out of the times building doorway onto the street and seen the burning building, i'd been silently talking to myself. i didn't really blame myself for failing to burst through into jake pickering's office and stamping out the tiny new fire when i could have; no one could have anticipated what so suddenly happened. what ate at me now was this: that by our hidden presence at that old event julia and i might have changed its course in just the way dr. danziger had always been afraid of. perhaps we'd made a tiny sound, for example, barely heard and hardly noticed by carmody as he searched through the files. yet even a tiny, hardly noticed sound might very slightly have affected his subsequent actions. so that he'd dropped his burning match an inch to one side, say, landing it on the paper it set alight. otherwise, if we hadn't been there to make even the least sound, who could say but what his match would have fallen onto bare wood? and that he might simply have stood, then, and watched it burn out? i knew julia must be agonizing through her thoughts, too: these were real people we'd just seen die. and now this incredible girl stood high over the street above us, waiting in silent courage to either die or somehow be saved in what now had to be only a matter of seconds. i couldn't take one more death; i couldn't have stood it if she'd fallen back into the building or down onto the street before me. i had to do something, and—it wasn't bravery, it was simple necessity—i was shoving my way forward, then i'd ducked under the lines and was running across the street. i didn't climb, i just sprang up onto the face of that ladder, then i was racing up toward the top. i hate heights; they make me uneasy and i can feel panic stirring inside me. but now there was no room for it. i was in a kind of exaltation, my head tilted back to stare up those rungs, handsand feet flying, the ledge rushing toward me. i didn't know what i was going to do up there, but when my hand closed on the topmost rung i did know, as though i always had known. both hands rose, cupped over the rounded tops of the ladder, my feet continuing to climb until i was crouched in a ball, my left foot on the very top rung, right foot on the rung just below. for a moment i hung motionless, getting the feel of my balance. then in precisely the right moment i lifted my hands free of the ladder and shoved upward with both legs, hard. for an instant i was balanced in the air, then i toppled, forward, and my clawed hands smacked down onto the window ledge, a hand on each side of the toes of the girl's shoes projecting over the ledge; i was looking up, and could see the buttons running down the side of one shoe. i only had to tell her once: she turned quickly, and half climbed and half slid down my back toward the ladder. looking down between my feet, i saw a fireman's head and shoulders appear. his hands rose, gripped her ankles, guided them down, and she slid from my back onto the ladder below me. and then—this wonderful girl had already worked out in her mind what to do about me. the fireman holding her, she reached up and set her hands on my waist, pressing in hard, and with that support steadying me i was able to let go the ledge, stoop quickly, and find the ladder tops again with my hands. we moved fast then, climbing down in a row, and we weren't even halfway to the ground when the black smoke from the window she'd stood in changed instantaneously to roaring orange flame. i stepped down onto the street, the girl threw her arms around my neck and kissed me on the cheek. i asked her name; it was ida small, and i took her hand for just a moment and felt happy and redeemed. i won't forget julia's eyes ever, as i ducked under the line and she stood waiting. hands were clapping me on the back, people congratulating me, someone yelling something right in my ear; an old man in a top hat, wearing his white hair in an antique length down to his coat collar, tried to give me his gold watch. i thanked him, refusing, then took julia's arm, getting us out of there, toward nassau street ahead. i could see that, in these moments at least, julia was in love with me; her eyes were filled with it and all i could do was grin and keep feeling my head, wondering how i'd lost my hat. i felt like a fake because bravery hadn't been involved; i was looking for absolution. and found it: ida small, who really was brave, still had a life ahead of her. the times, next morning, said she was "employed as an amanuensis in the office of d.p. lindsley, author of a work on takigraphy." she was working alone, which was why she hadn't known about the fire till long after most others. in the february 11th frank leslie's illustrated newspaper on the next page, the entire cover was given to a woodcut illustration showing ida small up on the ledge and "her anonymous rescuer" on the ladder. and while i know i shouldn't, i'm including that cover here, although the face of the man doesn't really look too much like me, and i wasn't wearing a vest either.

at the corner we stood watching both the nassau street face of the building and the beekman street side, but there was no one at any of the windows now and even the ladders had been taken down. like the rest of the crowd along both streets we just stood in helpless fascination, staring at the streams of water arching in through the window openings of the burning building, at the fountains of heated air and sparks rising endlessly from the stacks of the steam-powered pumpers, at the slanting, whirling curtain of snow. suddenly the fire ended: the roof fell in, crashed tremendously onto what was left of the next weakened floor, then the entire interior smashed through to the basement and an enormous gust of sparks, smoke, and whirling burning fragments rose fifty feet over the roof with a sighing whooshing sound that must have been heard for blocks. in moments, the building gutted, the fire was over, and you could see through the window openings on up through emptiness to the sky. in the basement the wreckage still burned but almost feebly, the force of it gone, and the snow fell, whirling prettily, down through the emptiness enclosed by the walls. above every gaping window-opening of the burned-out building lay a greatfan-shaped smear of blackened masonry, and already it was becoming hard to picture this great dead hulk as having once been alive and full of people. it seemed impossible that we'd been in it listening to jake pickering and andrew carmody only—i pulled out my watch, and couldn't believe it—an hour ago. the enormous spectacle over, the crowd around us began talking, the sound rising to a steady excited murmur, and i heard a voice say, "it's a blessing the paper moved out." to julia i said, "what paper is he talking about?" "the world" she said dully. "until a few months ago that was the world building, and most people still call it that. they occupied the entire top floor; scores of them would surely have died up there." "the world," i said slowly, trying the sound of it, and then i understood. that the sending of this, the note in the old blue envelope in kate's apartment had said, should cause the destruction by fire of the entire world—"building " was the missing word—seems well-nigh incredible. yet it is so.... and for the rest of his life that was to torture carmody's conscience. i felt the weight lift from my own conscience: now i knew that nothing julia or i had done had caused the fire. i took julia's arm and worked our way out of the crowd, south down nassau street. we heard a shout, a single warning cry, then a vast murmur from the watching crowd, and as we swung around to look, the entire beekman street face of the building leaned inward, very slowly, nearly imperceptibly, then faster, faster, and—still nearly all of a piece—it crashed like a felled tree down onto the burning wreckage in the basement. and now, the entire empty interior opened to view and to the storm, the building was truly gone. we took the el home. julia sat looking blindly out the window, and i spoke to her now and then, trying to comfort her, but couldn't. it was true, and i knew it, that nothing we'd done had contributed to causing the fire. we'd been invisible spectators influencing events in no least way. and while i couldn't explain why i knew that, the certainty of it sounded in my voice, and i think i persuaded julia of that truth. but of course she wished that we had altered subsequent events; i'd literally forced her out of jake's office and now julia had to wonder if we could have helped him by staying. i had to wonder, too, though i wouldn't have changed what i'd done, or most likely we'd be dead too. at the house julia went straight up to her room, exhausted. there was no one downstairs, the place silent. it was past lunchtime, and we'd had no breakfast, but i wasn't hungry so much as empty, and i didn't feel like prowling around the kitchen. i went up to my room, took off my coat, and lay down. after the night and morning we'd spent i was very tired but too full of what had happened, i thought, to be able to sleep. but of course i did, within only minutes after stretching out on top of my bed.

it was dark when i woke up from a hunger so intense it made me dizzy. i had no idea what time it was; it might have been very late. but maud torrence and felix grier were in the parlor reading when i came downstairs. they glanced up and nodded to me casually, and i understood that they didn't know i'd seen the fire. just as casually i asked if jake pickering were home, and felix, already turning back to his book, just shook his head. i walked on through the darkened dining room to the kitchen; i could see a light under the crack of the door. julia sat at the kitchen table with her aunt, eating—cold sliced roast, from dinner probably, bread and butter, hot tea—and as soon as i walked in aunt ada hopped up to get me some, too. from her face i could see that she knew all or at least something about what had happened, and she didn't question me. julia looked up and nodded wanly; there were dark circles under her eyes. i was certain i knew the answer, but had to ask, "he's not back?" julia said no and, squeezing her eyes shut, dropped her chin to her chest, and sat shaking her head as though trying to deny a mental picture or a thought or both, and i didn't know what i could say to her. when i finished my supper julia was still at the table, hands folded in her lap, waiting. i looked at her, and she said, "i want to go back, si," and i just nodded: i didn't know why, but i had to go back, too. outside it was snowing again and there was still a wind. the snow on the walks was too deep for walking now but there were wheel marks in the street, and we walked in those to the el station on twenty-third street. and by ten o'clock we were standing against the east wall of the post office, sheltered from the wind, and: ...the snow in park-row in front of the times office and in front of what remained of the old world building [says the new york times of february 1, 1882] was disturbed only by the feet of the firemen and police officers. lines of hose across the car tracks were buried out of sight in the snow, and the streams of water that played from the nozzles were seemingly wasted. the flames continued as bright as though a great flood could have no effect upon them. the gas supply pipes created much of the glare. men and women and children huddled close to the walls of the post office on the park-row side....the wind increased to a gale, and the snow beat about with such effect that the crowds were driven to seek refuge elsewhere, and by 10 o'clock the streets in the neighborhood were almost deserted. a few staid persons, who appeared like statues of snow, seemed to think they were in duty bound to be on hand. they rubbed their backs against the sides of the post office and kept their eyes fixed upon the ragged park-row wall of the burned building. the winds howled through beekman-street, and park-row, and whipped up spruce-street into nassau and park-row with such fury that those who ventured to turn those corners were fairly lifted from then-feet. the city hall clock appeared as though in a mist.... by 11 o'clock the snow had almost ceased to fall, the shrieks of the winds had died away, and the atmosphere was clear and cheerful, but the crowds did not return.

we among the last to leave, hypnotized by the black hulk across the street. the streetlampsbe(were) fore it were smashed and unlit, and the face of the wall was dark and without detail. but the lower window openings were sharply defined by the steady glare of the flaming gas pipes on the other side, and we could see the new snow mounded on their sills. the wreckage looked centuries old, an ancient ruin, and the dark shapes of the firemen were motionless, the only movement the play of the water arching through the empty windows. higher up, the walls were touched by the diffused sourceless light that so often accompanies a nighttime snowfall; and we stared up at the smoke-blackened observer sign along which we'd crawled, and just beyond it on the face of the times building the sign of j. walter thompson, advertising agent, onto which we had stepped and saved our lives. finally we left; as we crossed park row into beekman street, the city hall clock said ten to eleven. the beekman street sidewalk had been trampled clear of snow all day and into the evening; now with only an inch of untouched new snow it was easily passable. we looked across the street; here the wall had fallen, and we looked into the emptiness of what had been the inside of the building. the flames of the broken gas pipes roared softly, steadily, white arches of water wetting down everything near them. but the fire itself was over, "the destruction of the world" complete, and it was already passing into—not even history, but oblivion. at this moment a swarm of artists would be hard at work under gaslight, over at leslie's illustrated newspaper a couple of blocks to the west at park and college place, and at harper's, carving out the woodcuts of the fire that would appear in a week or so. the girl beside me, and most of the city, would look at their work for a few moments, recreating the sensation. but i understood as they could not how quickly the men now carving those wooden blocks would be gone, together with the entire population that would look at them, incredibly including this girl. here and there a last few copies would yellow in files, turning into something quaint and faintly amusing; and this vanished building and awful fire would be gone from all human memory. for a few moments, walking along beekman street across from the wreckage already being covered over with snow in places, i was overwhelmed in melancholy; human life was so short it seemed meaningless. it's the kind of thought you have, usually, only in the deep middle of the night waking up alone in the world. but i knew a time when this building and fire were as though they'd never been, and so i had the feeling now. we turned the corner into nassau street and—without speaking, each sensing it in the other— we began to hurry, suddenly anxious to leave this place forever. ahead, just across the street from the nassau street entrance to the times building, the streetlamp was unbroken, and its circle of yellow light lay sparkling and softly beautiful on the snow of our walk. here, too, on this walk, the snow was almost untouched, but not quite; a single line of footsteps marked it, disappearing into the darkness beyond the lamp. they began as though someone peering into a window opening of the destroyed world building had crossed nassau street, stepped up onto the curb, and walked on. we reached the footprints, our own beginning to appear beside them. then, directly under the lamp, i gripped julia's arm, and we stopped. sharply imprinted in the snow, just as i'd seen it once before, lay the tiny shape of a tombstone; within it dozens of dots formed a circle enclosing a nine-pointed star. but this time there were a lot of them. behind each sole print in the line of footstepsahead lay the round-edged straight-bottomed tombstone shape. "they're heel prints," i said; then i crouched beside one, pointing. "the star and circle are the heads of the nails." i looked up at julia, and she nodded, mystified. "yes, of course; men often have that done when their boots are made, a personal design of some sort." she shrugged. "it's just a good-luck sign." i nodded; i understood. this was carmody's sign; he had escaped the fire. and only a few moments ago he was here—to look once more upon what he had done. for a moment longer i stood staring at that strange little print in the new snow. he'd be buried under that sign. years from now his widow would wash and dress his newly dead body, then bury him under this identical sign. why? why? the question still remained. we walked all the way home. the wind gone, the snow stopped, it was no longer cold; and this late and so soon after the storm, the streets were deserted and we had the world to ourselves. at least the streets we walked on were empty; half lost most of the time, we traveled back and forth east and west, but working always to the north along the old old streets of the old old city of lower manhattan. the walks were occasionally shoveled clear but generally not, so we walked in packed-down carriage and wagon ruts. as the storm clouds broke up, a half-moon began to appear and disappear, so that sometimes, a block or more from a streetlamp, we moved through darkness. at others we walked in moonlight that, doubled by reflection from the snow, was like day. often we walked along, or crossed, silent residential streets precisely like those still existing in great areas of twentieth-century san francisco. in san francisco not just isolated relics but entire whole blocks of nineteenth-century houses stand untouched, looking in every way, except for parked cars, like still-existing old photographs of themselves. and now, here in lower manhattan of the nineteenth century—we often think of it wrongly as having been nothing but block after block of brownstones—were whole blocks and streets of tall, wooden, wonderfully ornate houses exactly like their counterpart streets in modern san francisco. occasionally there was a light far back in a house behind a curtained window; someone sick, we supposed. and once in a while, far ahead or down a side street, we saw a moving figure. occasionally, no wagon tracks visible, there were stretches of knee-deep drifts, and taking her hand, i helped julia through them; until presently, after one such stretch, we didn't let go. holding each other's hand, we walked through that silent bright night, and, as i'm certain julia did, too, i could feel the horror of the fire begin to recede into the past and let go of us. at a long, shiny stretch of hard-packed snow surface, icy at this time of night, we ran on impulse, still hand in hand, then slid along that stretch, balancing in a way i'd done last in grade school. it was late and we didn't laugh or call out, but we grinned. and once or twice we scooped up snow, packed it, and arched it high into the air for the fun of it. it was fine, that walk, and at one point we heard—from a stable somewhere back of a house, i suppose— the sudden high whinny of a horse and i was suddenly aware of the enormous mystery of being here, walking the streets of new york city on a winter night of 1882.

we reached fourteenth street and turned east to walk a short block to the foot of irving place, which led, then as now, straight up to gramercy park. just ahead, the building on the southeast corner of fourteenth and irving place was brilliantly lighted, and we heard music: a waltz. "the academy of music," julia said, and when we reached it the side entrances were open, and we stopped at one of them to look inside. what we saw was stunning, dazzling. at least a third of the main floor, the seats removed, was covered by a slightly raised dancing platform, waxed and shining, filled by whirling, dipping, waltzing couples. in the gallery a great orchestra played, violin bows in slanted motion, and every box—level after level of boxes curving in a great horseshoe from one side of the stage clear around to the other—was filled with chatting laughing people overlooking the dancers. still more spectators filled the stage and the entire rest of the main floor. great urns of flowers stood along the edge of the dancing platform, and high above the stage hung huge letters and numerals made of gas pipe. they were lighted, and the yellow-white letters of flame spelled charity—1882. the ball was an island of light, music, and excitement in a white and silent winter night; it seemed magical to have come onto it like this. every man there wore white tie and tails, yet the variety of hair length and style and the even greater variety in beard, mustache, and sideburns kept them individuals, recognizable and interesting to the eye. and the women in their long but off-shoulder and often surprisingly low-cut gowns—well, if the daytime dress of the eighties tended to be drab, these women made up for it tonight. i don't know the terminology of women's clothes or the materials they're made of; i'll quote again directly from next morning's account of the ball in the times: mrs. grace wore cream colored brocaded satin with pearl front. mrs. r.h.l. townsend wore blue satin brocaded with leaves and flowers of gold; mrs. lloyd s. bryce wore white brocaded satin flounced with lace; mrs. stephen h. olin wore white watered silk, with pearl and diamond ornaments. mrs. woolsey wore black tulle with black satin waist and diamond ornaments. mrs. c.g. francklyn wore white silk and diamonds. mrs. commodore vanderbilt wore white silk and diamonds. mrs. crawford wore blue silk. mrs. j.c. barron wore white satin and lace with diamonds. my reason for quoting this is that these women, a hall filled with them, absolutely glittered. standing a few feet from us, a man in white tie and tails but with the look of a cop had been watching us; tolerantly enough, the time for ticket collecting long past. i looked over at him now, and he sauntered over. "i know someone here," i said to him. "is there any way to locate her?" i narrowed my eyes and pantomimed looking out over the hall; for some reason we treat cops as though they were all dumb. he turned to a little gilt chair, picked up a handwritten list of several pages, and handed it to me. "proscenium boxes," it was headed, and under this it listed boxes andthen-occupants by letters beginning with d, and i looked quickly down a long column of names. "artist boxes," said the next column, and these boxes were listed by composers' names, beginning with mozart, meyerbeer, bellini, donizetti. i looked through the names under these, all beautifully written in a woman's hand; i looked under verdi, gounod, weber, wagner, beethoven, auber, halévy, grisi, and then, under piccolomini, i found the names of four women and their husbands, and one of the four was the name i was looking for. the guard, or cop, pointed out the piccolomini box, and it was nearly full; four women and three men sat watching the dancers below. the guard walked off, and i murmured to julia, "there they are: four women. one of them almost certainly knows that today her husband killed half a dozen people. and nearly burned to death himself. so tell me: which of those four women is she?" "there is no question of that, is there?" julia said. "the woman in the yellow gown.'' i nodded; there was no question at all. there she sat, her spine straight, her back not touching the little gilt chair, a strikingly handsome woman in her mid-thirties; and her face was absolutely composed. she'd have been good-looking, very nearly beautiful, except that looking at her face you hardly thought of that; i've seldom seen a face, and never before or since a woman's, of such utter composure, extreme capability, and absolute determination. "do you see what she's looking at?" julia said, and i realized that the woman in yellow wasn't watching the dancers. in the very front of her box, one of the largest and most prominent in the hall, mrs. andrew w. carmody was staring ahead at the great flaming gas letters—charity—1882—that said this was the greatest social event of the year. and i understood why andrew carmody had acted, had had to act, as he did. "what are you thinking?" julia said; i couldn't take my eyes off that fiercely beautiful face. "she scares me. i feel chilled, looking at her. but i'm fascinated, too—sort of illicitly thrilled." "oh? and why?" "because the time will come when that kind of face and person and the kind of high drama she's involved in won't exist anymore; they'll be out of style. evildoers will be tawdry, committing crimes of violence or bookkeeping in which any sense of drama will be nonexistent. and of the two kinds of people and evil, i'll take those with a sense of style." julia was looking at me, her brows raised quizzically. i took a last look at mrs. carmody and that wonderful ball; then we turned and walked away, moving past a long line of carriages waiting at the curb, their sidelights flickering, their horses motionless under blankets, the liveried men waiting, and then up the silent street to home, the sound of the waltz dying behind us.