rising full of anxious thoughts of the excitement which must have taken possession of ben from the revelations of the night, mary was much taken aback to meet her cousin, in, to all appearance, an extremely cheerful state of mind, next morning. he had been up early, and had taken a long walk, and renewed,—he told her,—his acquaintance with the country. ‘if one had it in one’s own hands one could do a great deal more with it than has been done yet,’ he said, looking more like the portraits of the old rentons than mary liked to see.
‘i am sure i hope nobody will ever try to improve it as long as i am here,’ she said, with a little heat,—for renton as a parish, and berks as a county, were to mary the perfection of the earth.
‘you don’t like stagnant ponds, i hope,’ said ben, laughing at her vehemence,—‘nor cottages falling to pieces,—nor fields that are flooded with every heavy rain.’
‘but i like the broad turf on the roadsides, and{155} the old hedges, and the old trees,’ said mary, ‘and everything one has been used to all one’s life. ah, ben, whatever you do, don’t spoil renton! i should break my heart——’
‘probably i shall never have it in my power to spoil renton,’ he said, with a short sigh of impatience. ‘i wish i had not come home until the very day fixed for this reading of the will. it is hard work hanging about here and kicking one’s heels and waiting. my father was very hard upon us, mary. it was too much to ask from any set of men.’
‘i don’t think it has done you much harm,’ said mary, whose natural impulse was to defend the ancient authorities, however much she might sympathise with the sufferers in her heart.
‘don’t you?’ said ben, walking away from the breakfast-table to the window, where he stood drawing up and down the blind with preoccupied looks. after a few minutes she, too, moved and went up to him. her mind was full of anxiety to say something,—to give him to understand that she could enter into his feelings; but it was so difficult to enter upon such a subject with a man, and especially with such a man as ben.
‘ben, i think i know,—a little,—what you mean,’ she said, faltering; ‘and i can see how, in some things, it must have been very hard,—preventing you from,—often,—doing what you wished; but {156}now that is over. you need not wait now——’
he turned round and looked at her with some surprise in his eyes. ‘you don’t know what you are saying, mary,’ he said. ‘i am like most men, very glad now to have been prevented doing things which at one time i would fain have done. and you are right, too,—i am my own master now,—not because the will is to be read this day week, but because i have found a trade and can work at it;—but that was not what i meant.’
mary sat down patiently and raised her eyes to him that he might tell her what he did mean. she was in the way of listening to a great many explanations, and thought them natural. ben, for his part, stood and looked at her for a minute, and then turned away with a laugh.
‘poor mary!’ he said. ‘what wearisome talk you must have listened to all these years,—going into everything! you must have a special faculty for that sort of thing, you women; how have you managed to live through it all and keep your youth and your bloom?’
‘there has been nothing dreadful to live through,’ said mary; ‘but as for the youth, i don’t pretend to that any longer. it is gone, like so many other pretty things; and i am not thinking of myself.’
‘not now, nor ever,’ said her cousin; ‘but i don’t feel disposed to give up the matter as you do. i don’t feel very aged——’
‘but you are a man,’ said mary, interrupting{157} him, ‘which makes all the difference; and, besides, this sort of talk is quite nonsense. i must go and read the paper with godmamma. have you done with it?’ and she took the “times” from the table, and was about to leave the room.
‘i have not done with it,’ said ben, ‘i have not begun it even. i am going to read it to my mother, and you shall come and listen, if you like. you have done our duty long enough. it is but fair i should take my spell now.’
mary made a little protestation, but ben was not disposed to give in. he was ennuyé for one thing, and did not want to be alone and give himself up to troublesome thoughts. there are times when it is better to do even the most humble of domestic duties than to be left to yourself. mary thought, as she took her work and sat down near the window of her godmother’s room, at some distance from the reader and listener, that affairs were wonderfully changed indeed, and that ben’s dutifulness was beyond all the traditions of good behaviour she had ever known. mrs. renton herself was a little overpowered by so sublime an act. ben did not read steadily through as mary did. he read not the bits of news which were her favourite study, but leading articles and speeches, which were not in her way. and then he would pause and talk in the middle of them, often turning his chair round towards mary, and defrauding his mother both of the paper and his attention.{158} it was pleasant, no doubt, to have a man in the house, and still more pleasant to have ben at home; but the great and unexpected condescension of his morning visit to read the papers was not by any means so great a pleasure as it looked. but for the name of the thing she would really have preferred davison; and mary’s reading was infinitely more satisfactory. when ben wound up by saying, as it is the proper formula to say, that there was nothing in it, mrs. renton could not but echo the words with a little querulousness in her tone. he threw the paper carelessly on to the bed, and the poor lady drew it towards her, and made a feeble search after her spectacles.
‘indeed there seems very little,’ she said, ‘much less than on most days; but it was very kind of you to think of coming and reading to me, ben.’
‘i mean to come ever morning, mother,’ he replied,—at which mrs. renton shivered,—‘and relieve mary a little. by-the-bye, i want to know whether you will mind if i have hillyard here. i told him he was to come on saturday, if he did not hear from me to the contrary. he is not quite in your way, but he is a very good fellow. i thought you would not mind if i had him here.’
‘my dear boy, the house is yours,—or at least it will soon be yours,’ said mrs. renton. ‘it is very nice of you to consult me, and you know i am not very able to receive strangers; but still mary is{159} there to do all that is necessary, and of course you must have your friends.’
‘mother, i should like you to understand that it is not at all of course,’ said ben. ‘the house is not mine,—i am not calculating that it will ever be mine. i want hillyard, not so much because he is my friend, as because he is with me in business. he is my right-hand man——’
‘it was mr. hillyard you went to america with at first?’ said mary, from her distant seat.
and ben, relieved, walked across the room, finding she was easier to talk to than his mother. ‘eh? yes, it is the same hillyard,’ he said, with a laugh which had some pleasure in it. ‘i was his right-hand man then, and now he is mine. that is all the difference; but we have always hung together all the same.’
‘then you have done better than he has,’ said mary, looking up at him with a smile.
and ben came and stood by the side of the table she was working at, and looked down upon her as he spoke. ‘he’s a very good fellow,’ he said, ‘but he does not stick to his work. there are some people who do best to be masters, and some who do best to be subordinate. and when he is not master, poor fellow, he is worth a dozen ordinary men.’
‘when some one else is master?’ said mary, with natural female gratification.
‘no compliments,’ said ben. ‘a man needs to{160} be as hard as iron, and as bold as brass;—though why brass should be the emblem of unpleasant boldness, by the way, i don’t know.’
when there had been as much of it as this, mrs. renton began to stir uneasily. ‘i cannot hear what you two are saying,’ she said. ‘you have light enough for your work generally at this window, mary. why should you go away so far to-day? and, ben, i can see there are two or three things here you did not read to me. there is a dreadful burglary somewhere, in a country-house like this. it is dreadful to think we might be killed in our beds any nights,—and gives it such an interest;—and there is a great deal out of “galignani” in the french article. “galignani” is always amusing. but mary will read it to me when you go out.’
‘i was not thinking of going out,—at present, mother. when is laurie coming? he ought to be here,’ said ben. ‘i don’t understand how a man can choose to shut himself up in london at this time of the year.’
‘but he is working at something,’ said mary.
‘he is always working at something, and i don’t know what it is ever to come to. laurie ought to be the eldest son,—if there is to be an eldest son among us,’ said ben. ‘i think that would be the best solution. he could muse about his fields, and paint the trees, and make a very good country gentleman,—don’t you think so, mary?—and marry{161} and make everybody comfortable;—that is how it ought to be.’
‘ben,’ said his mother, solemnly, ‘i hope you have not been led astray into radical principles since you have been away. how could laurie be the eldest son? your poor dear papa did everything for the best. he thought it was good for you to wait, and no doubt it must have been good for you. but to speak as if he did not care for your rights! why, you were called benedict because you were the eldest son. i said to mr. renton, “i hate the name,—it is the ugliest name i know.” but he always said, “my dear, we can’t help ourselves; the rentons have been laurence and benedict for hundreds of years,—and laurence and benedict they must continue to be; but you can call him ben, you know,—or dick, for that matter.” i had a good cry over it,’ mrs. renton said, dropping back fatigued upon her pillows; ‘for, if there is anything i hate, it is those short names like ben and dick; but he had his way. and now to think you should talk as if it had been all in vain!’
‘miss mary,’ said davison with decision, ‘my missis has talked a deal more than she ought, and i don’t hold with excitement. if you and mr. ben was to go out for a walk now,—or something as would take him off his poor dear mamma,’ said the careful nurse, lowering her voice. ben was too much for his mother. after seven years of soft,{162} feminine glidings about her room, softened voices, perpetual consideration of her ailments, this ‘man in the house,’ thought pleasant at first, was too much for her powers. ‘and i don’t know how we’ll ever do when they’re all here,’ the faithful davison murmured to herself, as she sprinkled eau-de-cologne about the pillows, and mixed some port with the arrowroot. and ben was banished forthwith from the room. ‘he is very nice at dinner, my dear,’ mrs. renton herself said, ‘but men never understand. and they should always have something to do, mary. they are never happy without something to do.’
‘but poor ben, this is his first day at home!’ said mary, when she had read all about the burglary, and calmed the patient down.
‘but, my dear, they are always wretched themselves,’ said mrs. renton, ‘when they are quite unoccupied. you must find him something to do.’
thus it will be seen that mary’s labours were not much lightened by the arrival of the eldest son. when she went down-stairs after her newspaper-reading, she found him in the library yawning somewhat over a book. ‘come and talk,’ he said, setting a chair for her; and then laughed a little over his unsuitableness in the hushed and soft-toned house.
‘it is because you have been so long away,{163}’ said mary. ‘you have gone off on one current, and we on another. i suppose it is always so when people are long parted. is it not sad?’
‘i don’t think that it ought to be so,’ said ben.
‘and laurie has his current, too,—quite different. i should like to find out about laurie. it is he i know least about,’ said mary, with a little sigh.
and then ben smiled. ‘i should like to hear,’ he said, ‘what you know about me?’
what did she know about him? nothing,—and yet everything, mary thought.
‘sometimes one divines,’ she said.
‘and sometimes one divines all wrong,’ said ben.
then there followed a pause. it was a very exciting game of fence so far as she was concerned. but she felt instinctively it was not safe to keep it up.
‘godmamma will not come down to luncheon,’ she said, ‘but in the evening i hope she will be all right again. and when alice is here and the children they will be a great help. alice is not clever, you know, but she harmonises things somehow. i wonder if it is because she is musical.’
‘you harmonise things, too, and you are not particularly musical,’ said ben.
‘oh, me!’ mary turned away, not caring to{164} discuss that subject. he was always so nice to her,—so frank and affectionate. ‘if he were to marry ruth escott now, or helen cookesley, how nice it would be to be a sister to her!’ mary thought! but millicent! could he be thinking of millicent now? he had got up from his chair, and was looking out with a certain wistfulness—or at least what would have been wistfulness in a woman, who has always to wait for any one she particularly wishes to see. a man can go forth and seek, and has no call to be wistful; but then it was only according to feminine rules that mary, so long unaccustomed to anything else, could form her thoughts.
‘i have ordered up a boat from cookesley,’ he said; ‘and remember, i mean to row you to the swan’s nest this afternoon. it is clearing up—— ’ for it had become cloudy, and rain had fallen during that period of newspaper-reading in mrs. renton’s room. and then ben went out abruptly and left her. he stood upon no sort of ceremony, as if she were anything but his natural sister, but went away without any explanation. going to the swan’s nest it would be necessary to pass the willows; and at this moment he was taking the path to the river. could he be going the very first morning to lay himself again at the syren’s feet? could it be the mere pleasure of passing her house, being in the neighbourhood, that moved him? mary, without pausing to think, flew up-stairs,—up beyond the{165} servants’ floor to a little turret-room which commanded a view of the river. and when she had waited long enough to recover her breath, there, sure enough, was a boat shooting out from the green bank at renton with one figure in it, which must be ben. and the course he took was up the river. she covered her face for a moment when she saw it, and a hot, sudden tear brimmed just over, wetting her eyelashes. mo more. was it her business that she should weep over ben’s folly? no man can redeem his brother, much less any woman, alas! however dreadful it might be, the man must go his own way.
mrs. renton rallied sufficiently that afternoon to go for her drive, and mary’s services were wanted accordingly. but when she had got through that duty, there was still time for the swan’s nest, to which she had been looking forward with an excitement which was almost feverish. ben was waiting for them at the door. he took his mother up to her room, subduing his big pace as best he could to quietness, and put her into davison’s hands for her rest before dinner. it was an arrangement very grateful to all parties. while mrs. renton was taking her favourite refreshment and being comfortably tucked up on her sofa, the young people were making their way down to the bank with something of the gaiety of former days. ‘i once beat you, ben, running down,’ mary said, for a{166} moment forgetting the willows and all that was involved in it. ‘i defy you to beat me now,’ her cousin said, and mary’s heart for one moment felt so light that she made a woman’s wild dash down one wind of the path, and stopped short breathless, catching at the great beech to support her. but between the branches of the beech mary saw a sight which quickly sobered her. could it be by previous arrangement, or was it by chance? a boat lay at the little steps before the willows, and some one,—there could be no difficulty in guessing whom,—was getting into it. mary’s heart sank away down to the lowest depths,—a sudden sickness of the light, and the brightness, and the river, and the day, came over her. she turned even from ben, feeling sick of him too. a certain contempt of him rose up in her tender soul. yes; there are many pangs in the sensation with which a woman recognises that another less worthy is preferred to herself; but not the least penetrating is that instinctive, involuntary contempt. he had gone and arranged with millicent no doubt, and then he thought to please all parties by taking her, mary, to meet the woman he loved. ben, for his part, with the stupidity of a male creature, saw that some shadow had come over her, and thought she had struck her foot in her rapid descent against the roots of the beech. ‘ah, you should not have gone in for it,’ he said in not triumph, but sympathy;—‘take my arm. i hope you have not twisted your foot.’ i twisted her foot!—when it was he who{167} wrung her heart! but to be sure, mary did not wish him to divine what was her real ailment; and it was so like a man! but the laughter and the fun were over. the two descended soberly to the river-side and got into the boat. and mary gathered the cords of the little rudder into her hands, and ben took up the sculls. they were face to face, and it was difficult for one to hide from the other what emotions might rise or what change come over them. ‘i am afraid you have hurt your foot badly,—you look quite pale,’ ben said, bending forward to her with absolute anxiety. ‘oh, no, i am all right,’ mary replied, saying in her heart, what fools men are! how stupid they must be!—a threadbare sentiment which does not bear expression. and then she cried, ‘remember i am strong,’ with a certain gleam of wicked glee. she could run him into the weeds if he showed too much interest in that other boat. she could keep him out of speaking distance to baulk millicent’s wiles, or she could run into them to give her a fright. mary began to feel herself when she pulled that cord which put some power into her hands, and saw the little skiff turn and dart about at her will from one side to another. ‘take care what you are doing,’ cried ben in dismay, thinking his coxswain had lost her wits; but she was only getting possession of them, and beginning to remember that there was no need to be passive, and that she, too, had arms in her hands.{168}
and for a little they shot silently, vigorously, each attending to his work, up the shining river. mary could not speak, and ben did not, being moved by a thousand associations. the first break in the silence was made by voices not their own, coming from the boat which mary kept her eye on with the fixedness of enmity. distant sounds of conversation and laughter came first, at which ben pricked up his ears. ‘don’t run into any one,’ he said. ‘i hear voices;—there is somebody coming, and i hope you are keeping a look-out ahead——’
‘you need not fear for me,—i see them,’ said mary, with emphasis, and he made no sign as if he knew what she meant, but kept on rowing so quietly that he either did not know who was coming, or thought she was a most accomplished hypocrite. on the contrary, he too began to talk softly like a man absorbed in thoughts and preoccupations of his own.
‘the last time you and i were here together was one of my last days in england,’ he said;—do you remember? i was full of my own affairs, and indifferent to everything; and, good life, what a fool i was!’ he added to himself,—and then paused and sighed. mary, for her part, saw all, noted all, and in her rashness felt anxious to test his meaning.
‘you made me very curious,’ she said; ‘i was{169} so anxious to know what you meant——’ and there was no telling how much further she might have gone had not the other boat suddenly glanced alongside, and some one called her by her name. some one! millicent, looking more lovely than she had ever seen her, she thought, with a scarlet cloak lightly thrown over her black dress, lying back upon the cushions, holding gingerly in her hands the steering cords.
‘mary!’ millicent called, softly,—‘is it you? oh, i am sure one of your cousins must have come home! stop and tell me! what a happy thing for mrs. renton! and are not you all in the seventh heaven?’
the picture was one which neither of the cousins ever forgot. she was in the full bloom of her beauty, increased rather than diminished, by the severity of her mourning dress. the river sparkled like a mirror all round the gay little painted boat in which she reclined. an unusual flush of colour was on her cheek, and the young guardsman who was rowing her gazed with eyes of worship on the lovely creature. no doubt she was excited. it seemed to mary that even the boy who was with her was part of a plan, the mise en scène which she had perfected for ben’s sake; and that her cheek was flushed with the excitement of the meeting and with her unusual anxiety that success might follow. for the first time for seven years{170} ben and she looked each other in the face. the guardsman had run the other boat so close that she was almost as near to him as mary was, confronting him, in a position in which she could watch his face and all its changes. when he looked up her eye was upon him. it was the most curious meeting for those two, who had parted so differently. was it possible she had forgotten how they parted? she looked at him with an unabashed, smiling, gracious countenance, while ben, with some agitation, took off his hat.
‘is it mr. ben renton?’ millicent said, softly. and mary, looking on, saw the colour flash all over ben’s face at the sound of her voice. then, in her heart, his cousin acquitted him of having arranged this interruption. on the contrary, he was so moved by it that he did not seem capable of finding his voice.
‘mr. renton, mrs. henry rich,’ mary said, mechanically, attempting an introduction, though she knew how unnecessary that was.
‘ah, we have met before!’ said millicent. ‘did i not tell you, mary? we used to know each other, though your cousin seems to have forgotten me; but, to be sure, i had then a different name.’
‘no, i have not forgotten,’ said ben; ‘that would be difficult under any name.’
and then there was a dead pause. millicent{171} put her arm over the edge of the boat and dipped her pretty hand into the water. she had a certain air of embarrassment, either real or assumed; and ben looked at her with a curious openness and fixedness of gaze. ‘you have just come?’ she said at last, not raising her eyes.
‘just come,’ said ben; ‘and only for a few days.’
then millicent’s eyes rose, and turned to him curiously; and mary, too, bewildered, gave him a frightened, anxious look. there was a whole drama in their glances, and yet the words were very constrained and very few which passed between them. ‘so soon?’ millicent said, with a surprised, half-sorrowful tone.
‘so soon!’ he repeated, with a kind of decision, always looking at her, till mary, hard-hearted as she thought herself, felt that he was uncivil, and was moved to interfere; but millicent bore it bravely enough. her colour grew higher, her composure was a little shaken, but yet she did not betray any symptoms of mortification or fear.
‘my mother would be glad to see you before you go,’ she said, faltering slightly. ‘we cannot forget our obligations to you,—though perhaps you have forgotten;’ and then she tried another half-supplicating, anxious look.
‘i have forgotten nothing,’ said ben. ‘we rentons have extraordinary memories. i will call on mrs. tracy if i can before we go.{172}’
‘then i will not detain you longer,’ millicent said, with a look of relief. ‘what a pleasure it must be to you, mary, to have your cousin to row you about! i am quite grateful to mr. horsman, who is so good as to bring me out. how delicious the river is, to be sure! mr. renton, it was you who used to tell me of it—first.’
‘then i am glad to have added something to your pleasures,’ said ben. he had adjusted his sculls, and did not manifest the least inclination to stay longer. on the contrary, mary felt that he was anxious to go on, to get clear of this interruption. and not less anxious was the young guardsman,—almost a boy,—who had taken his hat off sulkily, and waited his orders with eagerness. millicent was the only one of the four who had any desire to linger. she gave ben another long, searching look, to which he made no response, being busy, or appearing to be busy, with his sculls; and then she gave a little nod to her waterman.
‘i dare say we shall meet again,’ she said, gaily, ‘unless you are going a very long way;—au revoir.’
‘good-bye,’ said mary. and in another moment, with one pull of the steerage and one sweep of the oars, the renton boat had shot wide of the other, darting off to one side with a nervous motion, for which mary alone was responsible. ben made no remark, which was symptom enough of his agita{173}tion too. had he been as calm as he affected to be, mary knew well that her illegitimate energy would not have passed without remark. and they went up the river for some time at a tremendous pace, devoting themselves to their work with the energy of professional people. mary steered beautifully all the way to the swan’s nest. she steered as if her life depended on it, keeping the due course in every turn, avoiding, as she ought, the side where the current was strongest, which a steerswoman seldom remembers to do, and in every way justifying the old training which had been disused so long. and scarcely a word was spoken between them until they reached the end of their expedition. it was a sheltered little elbow of the river, a very bed of water-lilies in the season. and the green leaves still spread all round like a thick carpet upon the water. then ben took breath for the first time. he lay upon his oars and wiped his forehead, and drew a long breath. ‘that was hard work,’ he said, with a sigh. but which it was that was hard work,—whether the encounter with millicent, or their long, breathless sweep against the current, mary could not tell.
