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VI. THE COMMISSIONER'S SHELL EXPLODES.

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when the party assembled for dinner on the day of mr. churchill's hurried departure from the grange, they found they had an addition in the person of mr. commissioner beresford, who arrived late in the afternoon, and did not make his appearance until dinner-time. a man of middle height and dapper figure, always faultlessly dressed; slightly bald, but with his light-coloured hair well arranged over his large forehead; with deep-sunk, small, stony-gray eyes, a nose with the nostrils scarcely sufficiently covered, and a large mouth, with long white teeth. he had small white--dead-white--hands, with filbert nails, and very small feet. there was in the normal and ordinary expression of his face something sour and mordant, which, so far as his eyes were concerned, occasionally faded out in conversation, giving place to a quaint, comic look; but the mouth never changed; it was always fox-like, cruel, and bad. there was no better-known man in london; high and low, rich and poor, gentle and simple, all had heard of charley beresford. citizen of the world, where was he out of place? when there was a tight wedge on the staircase of protocol house on the saturday nights when lady helmsman received; when at a foot-pace the fashionable world endured hours of martyrdom in procession to the shrine which, once reached, was passed in an instant, according as sole trophy the reminiscence of a bow,--mr. beresford was to be seen leaning over the stoutest of dowagers, and looking fresh and undrooping even when pressed upon by the pursiest of diplomatists. when the noble souls of the body guards were dismayed within the huge carcasses which contained them because it was whispered that the 180th hussars intended to wear white hats on their drag to the derby, and to deck their persons and their horses with blue rosettes--both which insignia had hitherto been distinctive of the body guards--it was charley beresford who was applied to on the emergency; and who, on the derby morning, turned the tables completely by bringing the body guards from limmer's straw-thatched and amber-rosetted to a man. the 180th and their blue were nowhere; and "go it, yaller!" and "brayvo, dunstable!" were the cries all down the road. when mr. peter plethoric, the humorous comedian of the nonpareil theatre, wanted some special patronage for his benefit, "charley, dear boy!" was his connecting link with that aristocracy whose suffrages he sought. he went into every phase of society: he had an aunt the widow of a cabinet minister, who lived in eaton square; and an uncle a bishop, who lived in seamore place; and he dined with them regularly two or three times in the season, lighting his cigar within a few yards of the house, and quietly strolling down to the argyll rooms, or to the green-room of the theatre, or to the parlour of a sporting-public to get the latest odds on a forthcoming fight. he turned up his coat-collar of late when he visited these last-named places, and the pugilistic landlords had orders never to pronounce his name, but to call him "guv'nor;" it would not do for an official high in her majesty's service to be recognised in such quarters. before his aristocratic friends obtained for him his commissionership, his name was one of the most common current amongst the fancy; but since then he had eschewed actual presence at the ring, as he had blue bird's-eye handkerchiefs, cigars in the daylight, and nodding acquaintance with broughams in the park. "il faut se ranger," he used to say; "it would never do for those young fellows down at the office to think that i was or ever had been a fast lot; and those confounded radical papers, they made row enough about the appointment, and they'll always be on the look-out to catch me tripping." he little knew that his fame had preceded him to the tin-tax office; that all the old clerks were prepared to receive him with something between fear and disgust, all the young ones with unmingled admiration; that daily bulletins of his dress and manners were circulated amongst the juniors, and that those who could afford it dressed at him to a man.

he was four-and-thirty when he got his appointment, and he had held it about two years. there was even betting that the promotion would "go in the office;" that mr. simnel, the secretary, a very clever man, would get it; that the vacancy would not be filled up; and various other rumours. but the chancellor of the exchequer felt that mr. simnel had been going a little too much ahead lately, acting on his own responsibility; and as the widow of the cabinet minister (who owned a borough in devonshire) and the bishop concurrently attacked the premier, that nobleman gave way, and charles beresford exchanged the dreariness of bruges, in which dull belgian city of refuge he had been for some months located, for a seat in the board-room at rutland house. his uncle and aunt, through their respective solicitors, bought up his outstanding debts, and settled them at a comparatively low rate (his oxford ticks had been settled years ago out of his mother's income); and he came into a thousand a year, paid quarterly, free and unencumbered. a thousand a year, in four cheques on the bank of england in january, april, july, and october, ought to be a sufficiency for an unmarried man; but with charles beresford, as with a good many of us, the mere fact of the possession of money gave rise to a wild desire for rushing into unlimited expense. to belong to three clubs--the beauclerk in pall mall, aristocratic and exclusive; the minerva (proposed thereat by the bishop), literary and solemn; the haresfoot, late and theatrical;--to have capital rooms in south audley street; to keep a mail-phaeton and pair, with a saddle-horse and a hunter during the season; to give and join in greenwich and richmond dinners; to be generous in the matter of kid-gloves and jewelry; to have a taste (and to gratify it) in choice wines; to make a yearly excursion to baden, and when there to worship extensively at the shrine of m. benazet; to be a connoisseur in art, and a buyer of proofs before letters, and statuary, and tapestry, and antiques; to be miserable without the possession of an opera-stall; all these vagaries, though pleasant, are undeniably expensive; and at the end of his second year of office charles beresford found that he had spent every farthing of his income, and owed, in addition, between three and four thousand pounds.

he could not compound with his creditors; he dared not go through the court, for "those rascally papers" would then have been down on him at once, and his official appointment might have been sacrificed. the government just then had two or three black sheep, about whom people had talked, among their subordinates; and beresford might have been the jonah, sacrificed to allay the storm of virtuous public indignation. besides, though his great soul might have been won over to include in his schedule messrs. sams and mitchell, mr. stecknadel, the tailor of conduit street, and hocks, with whom his horses stood at livery, he could not inscribe the names of the irrevocable insurance company, to whom for the money borrowed he had given the names of two substantial friends as sureties; or of mr. parkinson, solicitor, of thavies inn, who "did his paper," but required another signature on the back. so mr. charles beresford was forced to confess himself "done up," "cornered," and "tree'd;" and only saw one way out of his difficulties--a good marriage. there was no reason why his final chance should not succeed, for he was a very pleasant, agreeable fellow when he chose; had a capital tenor voice, and sang french and german songs with sparkling effect and irreproachable accent; acted well in charade; talked all sorts of styles,--could be earnest, profound, sentimental, flippant, literary, or ribald, as occasion presented; waltzed with a gliding, long, swinging step, which was the envy of all the men who saw him; was sufficiently good-looking, and had something like a position to offer.

behold him, then, seated at sir marmaduke's table next to miss townshend, and with barbara lexden immediately opposite to him. he has been rattling on pleasantly enough during dinner, but has never forgotten the object of his life; he is aware that barbara for him is not an available parti, with position certainly, but without money, and with extravagant notions; but he has some recollection of having heard that mr. townshend was something approaching to a millionnaire, and he determined to satisfy himself upon the point without delay.

"not at all," he says, referring to something that has gone before; "not at all. it's all very well for you, sir marmaduke, whose lines have been cast in pleasant places, to talk so; but for us poor fellows who have to work for our living, this rest is something delightful."

"work for your living!" growls out the old gentleman. "a pack of lazy placemen. egad! the fellow talks as though stone-breaking were his occupation, and he'd just straightened his back for five minutes. work for your living! do you call sticking your initial to the corner of a lot of figures that you've never read, work? do you call scrawling your signature at the bottom of some nonsensical document, to prove that you're the 'obedient, humble servant,' of some idiot whom you've never seen, work? do you call reading the--"

"now stop, sir marmaduke," said beresford, laughing; "i bar you there. you mustn't repeat that rococo old rubbish about reading the newspaper and poking the fire as the sole work in a government office. that is slander."

"i am bound to say," said mr. townshend pompously, "that when, in my capacity either as one of the directors of the east-india company, or prime warden of the bottle blowers' company, i have ever had occasion to transact business with any of the government establishments, i have always found myself well treated."

"i am delighted to hear such testimony from you, sir," said beresford, with some apparent deference, and inwardly thinking that the two positions named looked healthy as regards money.

"god bless my soul!" bawled sir marmaduke. "here's a man drives up in a big carriage, with a powdered-headed jackass to let down the steps, and then he 'testifies' that he gets a messenger to take in his name and that he isn't insulted by the clerks. i wish with all my heart, townshend, that you were a poor man with a patent to bring out, or a grievance to complain of, or an inquiry to make, and you'd devilish soon see the reception you'd get."

"i hear," said mr. vincent, with a mind to turn the conversation "that a new system of refreshment-supply has recently been introduced into some of our public departments. i have a nephew in the draft-and-docket office, whom i called upon about one o'clock the other day, and i found him engaged upon some very excellent cotelettes à la soubise, which he told me were prepared in the establishment. that appears to me a most admirable arrangement."

"very admirable," growled sir marmaduke "for the public, who are paying the young ruffians for eating their frenchified rubbish. by heavens! a clerk at ninety pounds a year, and a made-dish for lunch!"

"quite right, mr. townshend," said stone; "they feed stunningly now, and don't drink badly either. by the way, beresford, i'm agent for goupil's house at bordeaux, and i could put in a capital cheap claret into your place, just the thing for your fellows in the hot weather. the tenders are out now, and a word from you would serve me."

"but, surely," said barbara, laughing, "if, as sir marmaduke says, you don't work now, mr. beresford, you'll be less inclined than ever after m. goupil's claret."

"sir marmaduke is an infidel, miss lexden," said charley. "send in your tender, stone, and goupil's medoc shall be a fresh incentive to the virtuous civil servants!"

"let him rave, my dear!" said sir marmaduke; "let him rave, as your idol mr. tennyson says. what he calls work, i call make-believe humbug. what i call work, is what my godson--what's his name---churchill (what the deuce has he gone away for?) does, night after night, grinding his headpiece--that sort of thing."

"what churchill is that, sir?" asked charley.

"mr. churchill is a literary man, i believe," said miss townshend; "wonderfully clever--writes, you know, and all that."

"oh, frank churchill! i know him," replied beresford. "has he been down here?"

"yes; he only left this morning."

"he seems a very good sort of fellow," said lyster generously, for he didn't quite like the tone of beresford's voice, and did not at all like the manner in which the commissioner was paying quiet attention to miss townshend. "he's made himself a general favourite in a very short time."

"yes, that he has," said miss townshend; "he's very clever, and not at all conceited, and--oh! he's so nice."

barbara said nothing.

"i had a few words with him about the money-article yesterday," said mr. townshend; "but i must say his views were scarcely so defined as i could have wished."

beresford had listened attentively to these remarks. he thought he perceived a certain tendresse in miss townshend's manner of speaking of churchill, which did not at all accord with his present views. so he said,

"no, mr. townshend; that's not churchill's peculiar line. he's a poor man, though, as you say, miss townshend, a clever one. and he has some object in working hard, for he's going to be married."

"to be married?" exclaimed miss townshend, looking across at barbara.

"to be married?" exclaimed barbara, flushing scarlet. the next instant she turned deadly cold, and could have bitten her tongue out for having spoken.

"well, well!" said old miss lexden, who up to this time had been engaged in a confidential culinary chat with mrs. vincent; "that's always the way. poor thing: i pity the young woman. these sort of persons always stay out all night, and ill-treat their wives, and all that kind of thing."

"dear, dear!" said mrs. vincent; "leg-of-mutton ménage and batter-pudding, perhaps; no soup or fish. dear, dear! what unwholesome things these love-marriages are!"

"but nobody said that it is a love match," said miss townshend. "perhaps the lady is an heiress, whom mr. churchill has captivated by his talent."

"yes," growled sir marmaduke, with a sardonic grin; "an heiress who has been struck with his articles on the reformatory question, or has become completely dazzled by the lucidity of his views on the maynooth grant. a leader-writer in a daily newspaper is just the romantic youth that heiresses fall in love with."

"now do be quiet, sir marmaduke, with your horrid sarcasm, and let us hear what the lady is like. do tell us, mr. beresford," said miss townshend.

"oh, i have no idea of her personal appearance," replied beresford. "every body says she's very nice, and that the marriage is coming off at once--that's all i know."

"your curiosity will soon be gratified, with a very little trouble," interrupted lyster. "you can ask mr. churchill himself--he's coming back to-morrow."

"coming back!" exclaimed beresford.

"yes, to-morrow," replied lyster, and added, between his teeth, "your little plot will soon be spoilt, my boy."

shortly afterwards, when the ladies left the table, barbara did not accompany the rest, but went straight to her own room. there she seated herself at the open window, which looked out upon the lawn and upon the high downs beyond, over which the yellow-faced moon was rising in solemn beauty. and barbara nestled into the great easy-chair, which she had pulled forward, and rested her chin on her hand, and looked upon the grand picture of varied light and shade with eyes that saw nothing of the beauty, and with a heart that comprehended it not. down in the hollow lay a little farm, gray and cold and stony, as are such buildings in sussex, and containing at that time a sleeping, snoring family; for the farmer, a thrifty man, had to be up betimes, and candlelight might as well be spared, and hard-working folk must rest. he did not think much about the moon, this sussex farmer, nor did his hinds, two of whom were then snoring in the red-tiled barn just on the shoulder of you hill; but the glorious lamp of night was as much in their thoughts as she was in those of barbara lexden, who had copied out "the moon is up, by heaven! a lovely eve," from childe harold, and knew alfred de musset's wild lines on the same subject by heart, and had gone in for the romantic business about it, and done some very effective bits of flirtation, in which the goddess luna was made good use of. but the moon was nothing now to barbara, whose mind was full of a far more worldly object, and whose foot was tapping impatiently on the floor. going to be married? then it was all accounted for--that letter with the feminine griffe, which he had pocketed immediately and read apart, and his hurried departure for town. going to be married! what business had he, then, to come down there, and talk and act as though no engagement fettered him--to talk, indeed, as though no notion of matrimony had ever crossed his mind? could he--? no; that was impossible. he could not have been playing with her--making a fool of her? what was that he had said about difference of class in marriage? ay, that settled the question; the fiancée was probably some dowdy woman, who could make a pie, and mend his clothes, and keep their maid-of-all-work in order. well, the man was nothing to her--but she hoped he might be happy. it was getting very dull at bissett, and she should suggest their departure to her aunt. they had invitations for several nice houses; and general mainwaring's was not far off, and boyce combe was there, and harvey grenville; so that she should be sure of plenty of fun. she had not seen boyce combe since the last woolwich ball, and then he had been so horribly absurd, and had talked such ridiculous nonsense. he was so amusing, major combe; and--and then major combe's handsome, vacuous, simpering countenance, which for a moment had risen in barbara's mind, faded again, and in its place there came a genial, clever, sensible face, with merry eyes and laughing mouth, and major combe's "ridiculous nonsense" seemed wretched balderdash as contrasted with frank churchill's pleasant talk.

a knock at the door, following which promptly little miss townshend glides into the room. a nice little girl, as i have remarked; a charming little being, bright and winning, but not the sort of person for a companion when one is in that state so well described as "out of sorts." who, i wonder, is pleasant company for us in a real or fancied trouble? certainly not the enthusiastic gusher who flings his or herself upon our necks, and insists upon sharing our sorrow,--which is a thorough impossibility. certainly not the pseudo-moralist who tells us that all is for the best, and quotes scripture, and suggests that, though we have had to retire from palace gardens and live in bedford row, there are many outcasts then sleeping on the steps of whitechapel church; and that, though our darling's life may be trembling in the balance, there are fever-courts and pestilence-alleys, in no house of which "there is not one dead." certainly not the lively friend who thinks that "rallying" is the best course for binding the broken heart and setting at rest the perturbed spirit, and who accordingly indulges in one perpetual effervescence of mild sarcasm and feeble teasing. miss townshend belonged to this latter class; and entered the room with a little skip and a long slide, which brought her to barbara's side.

"oh, ho! and so we're annoyed, are we, and won't come among our friends? we sit and sulk by ourselves, do we?"

"i cannot possibly imagine what you mean, alice," said barbara coldly. "take care, please; you're standing on my dress."

"oh, of course not, poor darling, she can't imagine! but, without any joking, barbara, it is too bad."

"what is too bad, alice?" asked barbara, without moving a muscle. she had a tremendous power over her face, and, when she chose, looked as impassible as the sphynx, "staring straight on with calm eternal eyes."

"now, don't be silly, barbara dear," exclaimed miss townshend, who was getting rather annoyed because her friend had not gone off into hysterics. "you know well enough what i mean; and it is a shame, a horrible shame! who would have thought that that learned clever man could have been such an incorrigible flirt? there now," putting up her hands, "you know perfectly well who i mean. and he did carry on with you in the most shameful manner--and going to be married all the time! not that i'm sure you're not rightly served, barbara. it's just the sort of thing you've been doing all your life, you know; but, still, one doesn't expect it in a man, does one, dear? i wonder--"

"i wonder when you'll have common sense, alice. it's time, if what you told me this morning be true."

"o barbara darling! o barbara! don't remind me of it. oh, how miserable you've made me! and you--you don't care one pin, when you know i'm so wretched." and putting her handkerchief to her eyes, little miss townshend hurried out of the room.

and what of the girl who "didn't care one pin"? who had just been rallied upon having been made a fool of by a man--a man, moreover, for whom every hour of her life proved to her that she cared? pride, love, vexation, doubt,--all these had influence on that throbbing heart; and she flung herself on her bed in a flood of tears.

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