susy had decided to wait for strefford in london.
the new lord altringham was with his family in the north, andthough she found a telegram on arriving, saying that he wouldjoin her in town the following week, she had still an intervalof several days to fill.
london was a desert; the rain fell without ceasing, and alone inthe shabby family hotel which, even out of season, was the bestshe could afford, she sat at last face to face with herself.
>from the moment when violet melrose had failed to carry out herplan for the fulmer children her interest in susy had visiblywaned. often before, in the old days, susy branch had felt thesame abrupt change of temperature in the manner of the hostessof the moment; and often--how often--had yielded, and performedthe required service, rather than risk the consequences ofestrangement. to that, at least, thank heaven, she need neverstoop again.
but as she hurriedly packed her trunks at versailles, scrapedtogether an adequate tip for mrs. match, and bade good-bye toviolet (grown suddenly fond and demonstrative as she saw hervisitor safely headed for the station)--as susy went through theold familiar mummery of the enforced leave-taking, there rose inher so deep a disgust for the life of makeshifts andaccommodations, that if at that moment nick had reappeared andheld out his arms to her, she was not sure she would have hadthe courage to return to them.
in her london solitude the thirst for independence grew fiercer.
independence with ease, of course. oh, her hateful useless loveof beauty ... the curse it had always been to her, the blessingit might have been if only she had had the material means togratify and to express it! and instead, it only gave her amorbid loathing of that hideous hotel bedroom drowned in yellowrain-light, of the smell of soot and cabbage through the window,the blistered wall-paper, the dusty wax bouquets under glassglobes, and the electric lighting so contrived that as youturned on the feeble globe hanging from the middle of theceiling the feebler one beside the bed went out!
what a sham world she and nick had lived in during their fewmonths together! what right had either of them to thoseexquisite settings of the life of leisure: the long white househidden in camellias and cypresses above the lake, or the greatrooms on the giudecca with the shimmer of the canal alwaysplaying over their frescoed ceilings! yet she had come toimagine that these places really belonged to them, that theywould always go on living, fondly and irreproachably, in theframe of other people's wealth .... that, again, was the curseof her love of beauty, the way she always took to it as if itbelonged to her!
well, the awakening was bound to come, and it was perhaps betterthat it should have come so soon. at any rate there was no usein letting her thoughts wander back to that shattered fool'sparadise of theirs. only, as she sat there and reckoned up thedays till strefford arrived, what else in the world was there tothink of?
her future and his?
but she knew that future by heart already! she had not spenther life among the rich and fashionable without having learnedevery detail of the trappings of a rich and fashionablemarriage. she had calculated long ago just how many dinner-dresses, how many tea-gowns and how much lacy lingerie would goto make up the outfit of the future countess of altringham. shehad even decided to which dressmaker she would go for herchinchilla cloak-for she meant to have one, and down to herfeet, and softer and more voluminous and more extravagantlysumptuous than violet's or ursula's ... not to speak of silverfoxes and sables ... nor yet of the altringham jewels.
she knew all this by heart; had always known it. it allbelonged to the make-up of the life of elegance: there wasnothing new about it. what had been new to her was just thatshort interval with nick--a life unreal indeed in its setting,but so real in its essentials: the one reality she had everknown. as she looked back on it she saw how much it had givenher besides the golden flush of her happiness, the suddenflowering of sensuous joy in heart and body. yes--there hadbeen the flowering too, in pain like birth-pangs, of somethinggraver, stronger, fuller of future power, something she hadhardly heeded in her first light rapture, but that always cameback and possessed her stilled soul when the rapture sank: thedeep disquieting sense of something that nick and love hadtaught her, but that reached out even beyond love and beyondnick.
her nerves were racked by the ceaseless swish, swish of the rainon the dirty panes and the smell of cabbage and coal that camein under the door when she shut the window. this nauseatingforetaste of the luncheon she must presently go down to was morethan she could bear. it brought with it a vision of the dankcoffee-room below, the sooty smyrna rug, the rain on the sky-light, the listless waitresses handing about food that tasted asif it had been rained on too. there was really no reason whyshe should let such material miseries add to her depression ....
she sprang up, put on her hat and jacket, and calling for a taxidrove to the london branch of the nouveau luxe hotel. it wasjust one o'clock and she was sure to pick up a luncheon, forthough london was empty that great establishment was not. itnever was. along those sultry velvet-carpeted halls, in thatgreat flowered and scented dining-room, there was always a come-and-go of rich aimless people, the busy people who, havingnothing to do, perpetually pursue their inexorable task from oneend of the earth to the other.
oh, the monotony of those faces--the faces one always knew,whether one knew the people they belonged to or not! a freshdisgust seized her at the sight of them: she wavered, and thenturned and fled. but on the threshold a still more familiarfigure met her: that of a lady in exaggerated pearls andsables, descending from an exaggerated motor, like the motors inmagazine advertisements, the huge arks in which jewelledbeauties and slender youths pause to gaze at snowpeaks from analpine summit.
it was ursula gillow--dear old ursula, on her way to scotland--and she and susy fell on each other's necks. it appeared thatursula, detained till the next evening by a dress-maker's delay,was also out of a job and killing time, and the two were soonsmiling at each other over the exquisite preliminaries of aluncheon which the head-waiter had authoritatively asked mrs.
gillow to "leave to him, as usual."ursula was in a good humour. it did not often happen; but whenit did her benevolence knew no bounds.
like mrs. melrose, like all her tribe in fact, she was too muchabsorbed in her own affairs to give more than a passing thoughtto any one else's; but she was delighted at the meeting withsusy, as her wandering kind always were when they ran acrossfellow-wanderers, unless the meeting happened to interfere withchoicer pleasures. not to be alone was the urgent thing; andursula, who had been forty-eight hours alone in london, at onceexacted from her friend a promise that they should spend therest of the day together. but once the bargain struck her mindturned again to her own affairs, and she poured out herconfidences to susy over a succession of dishes that manifestedthe head-waiter's understanding of the case.
ursula's confidences were always the same, though they wereusually about a different person. she demolished and rebuilther sentimental life with the same frequency and impetuosity asthat with which she changed her dress-makers, did over herdrawing-rooms, ordered new motors, altered the mounting of herjewels, and generally renewed the setting of her life. susyknew in advance what the tale would be; but to listen to it overperfect coffee, an amber-scented cigarette at her lips, waspleasanter than consuming cold mutton alone in a mouldy coffee-room. the contrast was so soothing that she even began to takea languid interest in her friend's narrative.
after luncheon they got into the motor together and began asystematic round of the west end shops: furriers, jewellers anddealers in old furniture. nothing could be more unlike violetmelrose's long hesitating sessions before the things she thoughtshe wanted till the moment came to decide. ursula pounced onsilver foxes and old lacquer as promptly and decisively as onthe objects of her surplus sentimentality: she knew at oncewhat she wanted, and valued it more after it was hers.
"and now--i wonder if you couldn't help me choose a grandpiano?" she suggested, as the last antiquarian bowed them out.
"a piano?""yes: for ruan. i'm sending one down for grace fulmer. she'scoming to stay ... did i tell you? i want people to hear her.
i want her to get engagements in london. my dear, she's agenius.""a genius--grace!" susy gasped. "i thought it was nat ....""nat--nat fulmer? ursula laughed derisively. "ah, of course--you've been staying with that silly violet! the poor thing isoff her head about nat--it's really pitiful. of course he hastalent: i saw that long before violet had ever heard of him.
why, on the opening day of the american artists' exhibition,last winter, i stopped short before his 'spring snow-storm'
(which nobody else had noticed till that moment), and said tothe prince, who was with me: 'the man has talent.' butgenius--why, it's his wife who has genius! have you never heardgrace play the violin? poor violet, as usual, is off on thewrong tack. i've given fulmer my garden-house to do--no doubtviolet told you--because i wanted to help him. but grace is mydiscovery, and i'm determined to make her known, and to haveevery one understand that she is the genius of the two. i'vetold her she simply must come to ruan, and bring the bestaccompanyist she can find. you know poor nerone is dreadfullybored by sport, though of course he goes out with the guns. andif one didn't have a little art in the evening .... oh, susy,do you mean to tell me you don't know how to choose a piano? ithought you were so fond of music!""i am fond of it; but without knowing anything about it--in theway we're all of us fond of the worthwhile things in our stupidset," she added to herself--since it was obviously useless toimpart such reflections to ursula.
"but are you sure grace is coming?" she questioned aloud.
"quite sure. why shouldn't she? i wired to her yesterday. i'mgiving her a thousand dollars and all her expenses."it was not till they were having tea in a piccadilly tea-roomthat mrs. gillow began to manifest some interest in hercompanion's plans. the thought of losing susy became suddenlyintolerable to her. the prince, who did not see why he shouldbe expected to linger in london out of season, was already atruan, and ursula could not face the evening and the whole of thenext day by herself.
"but what are you doing in town, darling, i don't remember ifi've asked you," she said, resting her firm elbows on the tea-table while she took a light from susy's cigarette.
susy hesitated. she had foreseen that the time must soon comewhen she should have to give some account of herself; and whyshould she not begin by telling ursula?
but telling her what?
her silence appeared to strike mrs. gillow as a reproach, andshe continued with compunction: "and nick? nick's with you?
how is he, i thought you and he still were in venice with ellievanderlyn.""we were, for a few weeks." she steadied her voice. "it wasdelightful. but now we're both on our own again--for a while."mrs. gillow scrutinized her more searchingly. "oh, you're alonehere, then; quite alone?""yes: nick's cruising with some friends in the mediterranean."ursula's shallow gaze deepened singularly. "but, susy darling,then if you're alone--and out of a job, just for the moment?"susy smiled. "well, i'm not sure.""oh, but if you are, darling, and you would come to ruan! iknow fred asked you didn't he? and he told me that both you andnick had refused. he was awfully huffed at your not coming; buti suppose that was because nick had other plans. we couldn'thave him now, because there's no room for another gun; but sincehe's not here, and you're free, why you know, dearest, don'tyou, how we'd love to have you? fred would be too glad--toooutrageously glad--but you don't much mind fred's love-making,do you? and you'd be such a help to me--if that's any argument!
with that big house full of men, and people flocking over everynight to dine, and fred caring only for sport, and nerone simplyloathing it and ridiculing it, and not a minute to myself to tryto keep him in a good humour .... oh, susy darling, don't sayno, but let me telephone at once for a place in the train tomorrow night!"susy leaned back, letting the ash lengthen on her cigarette.
how familiar, how hatefully familiar, was that old appeal!
ursula felt the pressing need of someone to flirt with fred fora few weeks ... and here was the very person she needed. susyshivered at the thought. she had never really meant to go toruan. she had simply used the moor as a pretext when violetmelrose had gently put her out of doors. rather than do whatursula asked she would borrow a few hundred pounds of strefford,as he had suggested, and then look about for some temporaryoccupation until--until she became lady altringham? well, perhaps. at any rate,she was not going back to slave for ursula.
she shook her head with a faint smile. "i'm so sorry, ursula:
of course i want awfully to oblige you--"mrs. gillow's gaze grew reproachful. "i should have supposedyou would," she murmured. susy, meeting her eyes, looked intothem down a long vista of favours bestowed, and perceived thatursula was not the woman to forget on which side the obligationlay between them.
susy hesitated: she remembered the weeks of ecstasy she hadowed to the gillows' wedding cheque, and it hurt her to appearungrateful.
"if i could, ursula ... but really ... i'm not free at themoment." she paused, and then took an abrupt decision. "thefact is, i'm waiting here to see strefford.""strefford' lord altringham?" ursula stared. "ah, yes-iremember. you and he used to be great friends, didn't you?"her roving attention deepened .... but if susy were waiting tosee lord altringham--one of the richest men in england!
suddenly ursula opened her gold-meshed bag and snatched aminiature diary from it.
"but wait a moment--yes, it is next week! i knew it was nextweek he's coming to ruan! but, you darling, that makeseverything all right. you'll send him a wire at once, and comewith me tomorrow, and meet him there instead of in this nastysloppy desert .... oh, susy, if you knew how hard life is forme in scotland between the prince and fred you couldn't possiblysay no!"susy still wavered; but, after all, if strefford were reallybound for ruan, why not see him there, agreeably and at leisure,instead of spending a dreary day with him in roaming the wetlondon streets, or screaming at him through the rattle of arestaurant orchestra? she knew he would not be likely topostpone his visit to ruan in order to linger in london withher: such concessions had never been his way, and were lessthan ever likely to be, now that he could do so thoroughly andcompletely as he pleased.
for the first time she fully understood how different hisdestiny had become. now of course all his days and hours weremapped out in advance: invitations assailed him, opportunitiespressed on him, he had only to choose .... and the women! shehad never before thought of the women. all the girls in englandwould be wanting to marry him, not to mention her ownenterprising compatriots. and there were the married women, whowere even more to be feared. streff might, for the time, escapemarriage; though she could guess the power of persuasion, familypressure, all the converging traditional influences he had sooften ridiculed, yet, as she knew, had never completely thrownoff .... yes, those quiet invisible women at altringham-hisuncle's widow, his mother, the spinster sisters--it was notimpossible that, with tact and patience--and the stupidest womencould be tactful and patient on such occasions--they mighteventually persuade him that it was his duty, they might putjust the right young loveliness in his way .... but meanwhile,now, at once, there were the married women. ah, they wouldn'twait, they were doubtless laying their traps already! susyshivered at the thought. she knew too much about the way thetrick was done, had followed, too often, all the sinuosities ofsuch approaches. not that they were very sinuous nowadays:
more often there was just a swoop and a pounce when the timecame; but she knew all the arts and the wiles that led up to it.
she knew them, oh, how she knew them--though with streff, thankheaven, she had never been called upon to exercise them! hislove was there for the asking: would she not be a fool torefuse it?
perhaps; though on that point her mind still wavered. but atany rate she saw that, decidedly, it would be better to yield toursula's pressure; better to meet him at ruan, in a congenialsetting, where she would have time to get her bearings, observewhat dangers threatened him, and make up her mind whether, afterall, it was to be her mission to save him from the other women.
"well, if you like, then, ursula ....""oh, you angel, you! i'm so glad! we'll go to the nearest postoffice, and send off the wire ourselves."as they got into the motor mrs. gillow seized susy's arm with apleading pressure. "and you will let fred make love to you alittle, won't you, darling?"
