sunday, september 27, 1942
dearest kitty,
mother and i had a so-called "discussion" today, but the annoying part is that i burst into tears. i can't help it. daddy is always nice to me, and he also understands me much better. at moments like these i can't stand mother. it's obvious that i'm a stranger to her; she doesn't even know what i think about the most ordinary things.
we were talking about maids and the fact that you're supposed to refer to them as "domestic help" these days. she claimed that when the war is over, that's what they'll want to be called. i didn't quite see it that way. then she added that i talk about' 'later" so often and that i act as if i were such a lady, even though i'm not, but i don't think building sand castles in the air is such a terrible thing to do, as long as you don't take it too seriously. at any rate, daddy usually comes to my defense.
without him i wouldn't be able to stick it out here.
i don't get along with margot very well either. even though our family never has the same kind of outbursts they have upstairs, i find it far from pleasant. margot's and mother's personalities are so alien to me. i understand my girlfriends better than my own mother. isn't that a shame?
for the umpteenth time, mrs. van daan is sulking. she's very moody and has been removing more and more of her belongings and locking them up. it's too bad mother doesn't repay every van daan "disappearing act" with a frank "disappearing act."
some people, like the van daans, seem to take special delight not only in raising their own children but in helping others raise theirs. margot doesn't need it, since she's naturally good, kind and clever, perfection itself, but i seem to have enough mischief for the two of us. more than once the air has been filled with the van daans' admonitions and my saucy replies. father and mother always defend me fiercely. without them i wouldn't be able to jump back into the fray with my usual composure. they keep telling me i should talk less, mind my own business and be more modest, but i seem doomed to failure. if father weren't so patient, i'd have long ago given up hope of ever meeting my parents' quite moderate expectations.
if i take a small helping of a vegetable i loathe and eat potatoes instead, the van daans, especially mrs. van daan, can't get over how spoiled i am. "come on, anne, eat some more vegetables," she says.
"no, thank you, ma'am," i reply. "the potatoes are more than enough."
"vegetables are good for you; your mother says so too. have some more," she insists, until father intervenes and upholds my right to refuse a dish i don't like.
then mrs. van d. really flies off the handle: "you should have been at our house, where children were brought up the way they should be. i don't call this a proper upbringing. anne is terribly spoiled. i'd never allow that. if anne were my daughter. . ."
this is always how her tirades begin and end: "if anne were my daughter. . ." thank goodness i'm not.
but to get back to the subject of raising children, yesterday a silence fell after mrs. van d. finished her little speech. father then replied, "i think anne is very well brought up. at least she's learned not to respond to your interminable sermons. as far as the vegetables are concerned, all i have to say is look who's calling the kettle black."
mrs. van d. was soundly defeated. the pot calling the ketde black refers of course to madame herself, since she can't tolerate beans or any kind of cabbage in the evening because they give her "gas." but i could say the same. what a dope, don't you think? in any case, let's hope she stops talking about me.
it's so funny to see how quickly mrs. van daan flushes. i don't, and it secredy annoys her no end.
yours, anne
