wednesday, may 3, 1944
dearest kitty,
first the weekly news! we're having a vacation from politics. there's nothing, and i mean absolutely nothing, to report. i'm also gradually starting to believe that the invasion will come. after all, they can't let the russians do all the dirty work; actually, the russians aren't doing anything at the moment either.
mr. kleiman comes to the office every morning now. he got a new set of springs for peter's divan, so peter will have to get to work reupholstering it; not surprisingly, he isn't at all in the mood. mr. kleiman also brought some flea powder for the cats.
have i told you that our boche has disappeared? we haven't seen hide nor hair of her since last thursday. she's probably already in cat heaven, while some animal lover has turned her into a tasty dish. perhaps some girl who can afford it will be wearing a cap made of boche's fur. peter is heartbroken.
for the last two weeks we've been eating lunch at eleven-thirty on saturdays; in the mornings we have to make do with a cup of hot cereal. starting tomorrow it'll be like this every day; that saves us a meal. vegetables are still very hard to come by. this afternoon we had rotten boiled lettuce. ordinary lettuce, spinach and boiled let- tuce, that's all there is. add to that rotten potatoes, and you have a meal fit for a king!
i hadn't had my period for more than two months, but it finally started last sunday. despite the mess and bother, i'm glad it hasn't deserted me.
as you can no doubt imagine, we often say in despair, "what's the point of the war? why, oh, why can't people live together peacefully? why all this destruction?"
the question is understandable, but up to now no one has come up with a satisfactory answer. why is england manufacturing bigger and better airplanes and bombs and at the same time churning out new houses for reconstruction? why are millions spent on the war each day, while not a penny is available for medical science, artists or the poor? why do people have to starve when mountains of food are rotting away in other parts of the world? oh, why are people so crazy?
i don't believe the war is simply the work of politicians and capitalists. oh no, the common man is every bit as guilty; otherwise, people and nations would have re- belled long ago! there's a destructive urge in people, the urge to rage, murder and kill. and until all of humanity, without exception, undergoes a metamorphosis, wars will continue to be waged, and everything that has been carefully built up, cultivated and grown will be cut down and destroyed, only to start allover again!
i've often been down in the dumps, but never desperate. i look upon our life in hiding as an interesting adventure, full of danger and romance, and every privation as an amusing addition to my diary. i've made up my mind to lead a different life from other girls, and not to become an ordinary housewife later on. what i'm experiencing here is a good beginning to an interesting life, and that's the reason -- the only reason -- why i have to laugh at the humorous side of the most dangerous moments.
i'm young and have many hidden qualities; i'm young and strong and living through a big adventure; i'm right in the middle of it and can't spend all day complaining because it's impossible to have any fun! i'm blessed with many things: happiness, a cheerful disposition and strength. every day i feel myself maturing, i feel liberation drawing near, i feel the beauty of nature and the goodness of the people around me. every day i think what a fascinating and amusing adventure this is! with all that, why should i despair?
yours, anne m. fran
k
