6 alicia's little joke
darrell had good brains and she had been taught how to use them. she soon found that she couldeasily do the work of her class, and in such things as composition was ahead of most of the others.
she felt pleased.
'i thought i'd have to work much much harder than at my old school,' she thought to herself 'but ishan't! it's only maths. i'm not so good at. i wish i was as good as irene at maths. she does things inher head that i can't even do on paper.'
so, after the first week or two. darrell relaxed a little, and did not worry herself too much about herwork. she began to enjov amusing the class a little, just as alicia did. alicia was thrilled to havesomeone to help her in her mischief.
betty hill went much further than alicia. darrell sometimes wondered if there was anything shewould stop at. there were two mistresses that betty and alicia played up to. one was mam'zelledupont, the other was a quiet, gentle mistress who took needlework, and sometimes took prep, timeat night. miss davies never seemed to realize that alicia and betty could play tricks on her.
mam'zelle did realize it, but was taken in all the same.
'did you ever hear how betty put a white mouse into mam'zelle's desk one day?' said alicia. 'poorlittle thing, it couldn't get out, and suddenly, in despair, it pushed up the little ink-pot, and stuck itsnose out of the ink-pot hole. mam'zelle nearly had a fit.'
'what did she do?' asked darrell, with great interest.
'flew out of the room as if a hundred dogs were after her!' said alicia. 'when she was gone we tookthe mouse out quickly, and betty hid it down her neck. so, when mam'zelle ventured back, andordered one of us to turn her desk out and get the mouse, there was none to be found. mam'zellethought her eyes had gone wrong!"
'oh, i do wish i'd been there!" sighed darrell. 'alicia, do do something funny like that. do somethingin maths, can't you? i know miss potts is going to go for me over my maths, prep, and something likethat would take her mind away from me!'
'what! play a trick like that in potty's class!' said alicia, scornfully. 'don't be silly. potty's up toeverything. you can't fool herv
'well—in mam'zelle's class, then,'begged darrell. '1 like mam'zelle, but 1 haven't seen her in atemper yet and i'd like to. do do play a trick in her class.'
alicia felt that she would have a most admiringspectator in darrell, if only she could think of something. she screwed her forehead into wrinkles andthought hard.
betty prompted her. 'can't you think of something sam or roger or dick did last term?' she asked.
she turned to darrell. 'alicia's three brothers all go to the same school," she said. 'and there's amaster there called toggles—at least that's what the boys call him—and he's such a dud the boys canplay any trick they like on him and get away with it.'
darrell thought roger, sam, and dick sounded fine brothers to have. she wished she had a brothertoo. but she had only a younger sister.
'there's one thing roger did last term that was quite funny,' said alicia, suddenly. '1 believe we coulddo it. but you and betty will have to help, darrell."'oh, i'd love to,' said darrell. 'what is it?'
'well, roger pretended to be deaf,' said alicia. 'and everything old toggles asked him he pretendedto hear wrong. when toggles said "johns, sit still in your chair!" roger said "give you a cheer, sir?
certainly! hip, hip, hip, hurrah!"
darrell laughed. 'oh, alicia! that would be fun! do,do pretend to be deaf, please do. we'll play up toyou like anything. we will really. do it in mam'zelle's class.'
the first form soon heard that alicia was going to pull mam'zelle's leg, and were thrilled. the firstexcitement of coming back to school had worn off. the girls were rest?less and ready for a bit ofextitement.
'now.' said alicia, 'i'll pretend to misunderstand what mam'zelle says—and then you can repeat itvery ioudly, darrell, and then you betty, and then the rest of the class. see? we'll have some sport.'
mam'zelle. all unsuspicious of this deep-laid plot, entered the first-form classroom smiling brightlythe next morning. it was a beautiful summer day. she had had twoletters from home, giving her the news that she had a new little nephew. she had on a new brooch,and had washed her hair the night before. she was feeling in a very good temper.
she beamed round at the class. 'ah, my dear girls!" she said. 'we are going to do some very verygood french today, n 'est ce pas? we are going to be better than the second form! even gwendolinewill be able to say her verbs to me without one, single, mistake!1gwendoline looked doubtful. since she had been at ivlalory towers her opinion of her governess athome had gone down. miss winter didn't seem to have taught her half the things she ought to haveknown! on the other hand, thought gwendoline, she had raved over her hair and blue eyes, she hadpraised the sweetness of gwendoline's temper, and said how graceful she was in all she did. thatkind of thing was most enjoyable to a person like gwendoline. but a little more learning would havebeen very useful to her at malory towers.
she wished she had learnt a lot more french. mam'zelle had exclaimed at the little she knew, and hadeven suggested extra french lessons in order to get her up to the average standard of the form. but sofar gwendoline had been able to avoid extra lessons, and she was quite determined to go on avoidingthem! french five times a week was bad enough without extra time tagged on.
she smiled back rather doubtfully at mam'zelle, hoping that alicia would soon begin herperformance, so that mam'zelle's attention would not be directed at her. mam'zelle beamed roundagain. she thought the girls looked eager and responsive this morning. the dear girls! she would tellthem about her new little nephew. that would please them, no doubt!
mam'zelle could never stop herself from talking about her beloved family in france, if she had hadnews of them. usually the girls encouraged her, because the more they heard about la cherejosephine, and la mignonne yvonne, and la mechante louise, the less they heard about verbs andgenders. so they were delighted when mam'zelle informed them of her new nephew.
'ii est appele, jean—he is called john. ii est tout petit, oh, tout petit!' mam'zelle held up her twohands and measured a small distance between them to show how little her new nephew john was.
'now what does that mean? ii—est—tout—petit. who will tell me?'
alicia was sitting in an attitude of strained attention, leaning forward as far as possible over her desk,one of her hands behind her ear. mam'zelle noticed her.
'ah, alicia, you did not hear me very well? i will re peat. ii—est—tout—petit. repeat to me, please.'
'pardon?' said alicia, politely and put both hands behind her ears.
darrell wanted to giggle already. she tried to keep her face straight.
'alicia! what is wrong with you?' cried mam'zelle. 'can you not hear?'
'what do i fear? why, nothing, mam'zelle,' said alicia, looking slightly surprised. somebody giggledand then smothered it quickly.
'mam'zelle said "can you not hearv repeated betty in a loud voice to alicia.
'beer?' said alicia, more astonished, apparently, then ever.
'can you not hhar?" shouted darrell, joining in the game. and the class joined in too. 'canyou not hear?'
mam'zelle banged on her desk. 'girls! you forget yourselves. what a noise to make in class."'mam'zelle. perhaps alicia is l)l \i.' said darrell.
speaking as if mam'zelle herself were deaf. 'maybe she has ear-ache.'
'ah. la pauvre petitev cried mam'zelle, who suffered from ear-ache herself at times, and was alwaysvery sympathetic towards anyone else who did. she bellowed at alicia.
"have you ear-ache?'
'a rake? 1 don't want a rake, thank you mam'zelle,' replied alicia. "i'm not gardening today."this was too much for irene, who let out one of her explosive laughs, making the girls in front of herjump.
'tiensv cried mam'zelle, jumping too, 'what was that? ah, you irene — why do you make thatextraordinary noise? i will not have it.'
'can't help sneezing sometimes, mam'zelle,' stuttered irene, burying her nose in her handkerchief asif she was about to sneeze again. curious noises came from her as she tried to choke back hergiggles.
'alicia,' said mam'zelle. turning back to the mischief maker, who at once put both hands behind herears, and frowned as if trying her best to hear. 'alicia, do not talk to me of rakes. tell me, have you acold?"
'no, i've no gold, only a ten-shilling note,' answered alicia, much to mam'zelle's mystification.
'mam'zelle said cold not gold,' explained darrell at the top of her voice.
'you know—cold, the opposite of hot," went on betty, helpfully. 'have you a cold?'
'have you a cold?' roared the class, coming in like a well-trained chorus.
'oh, cold! why don't you speak clearly, then i should hear you," said alica. 'yes—i've had a cold,of course.'
'ah—then it has affected your poor ears.' said mam'zelle.
'how long ago was this cold. alicia?"
darrell repeated this question at the top of her voice, followed by betty.
'oh—when did 1 have it? about two years ago,' said alicia. irene buried her nose in her hanky again.
mam'zelle looked a little blank.
'it is of no use the poor child trying to follow the french lesson,' said mam'zelle. 'alicia, sit by thewindow in the sun and read your french book to yourself. you cannot hear a word we say.'
alicia looked enquiringly at darrell, as if she hadn't heard. darrell obligingly repeated it all at the topof her voice. betty unfortunately was too overcome by a desire to laugh to be able to repeat it too.
but the rest of the class obliged with a will.
'you cannot hear a word we say!' they chorused.
the door opened suddenly and a mostirate miss potts looked in. she had been taking form 2 nextdoor, and could not imagine what the shouting was in form i.
'mam'zelle, excuse my interrupting you, but is it necessary for the girls to repeat their french lessonso very loudly?' she asked.
'ah, miss potts, i am so sorry. but it is not for me the girls repeat words so loudly, it is for the pooralicia,' explained mam'zelle.
miss potts looked most surprised. she looked at alicia. alicia felt uncomfortable. she also looked asinnocent as she could. but miss potts was always on the alert when betty or alicia looked innocent.
'what do you mean. mam'zelle?' she snapped. 'has alicia suddenly gone deaf.' she was all right thismorning.'
'she is quite, quite deaf now.' mam'zelle assured her. miss potts looked sharply at alicia.
"come to me at break, alicia.' she said. 'i would like a few u ords with vou."nobody dared repeat these words to alicia, but mam'zelle herself obliged. she shouted across toalicia.
'miss potts says, will you...'
'don't bother to repeat what 1 said, mam'zelle,' said miss potts. 'alicia will come all right. i shallexpect you at eleven, alicia. and please stand up when i speak to you.'
alicia stood up , her face a flaming red. miss potts went out of the room, and she did not shut thedoor very quietly. mam'zelle disliked people who banged doors.
'ah, this door, it goes through my poor head!' she said. "miss potts, she is very good and clever, butshe does not have the head-ache, as i do...'
'nor the ear-ache,' put in darrell, but no one raised a giggle. miss potts's entry and fierceness haddamped the cheerfulness of the class considerably.
alicia said no more about her ear-ache. she took a book and sat down by the window in the sunshine,feeling sure that miss potts would not appear again. she thought she might as well get something outof her perfomance! mam'zelle took no further notice of her, and devoted herself to a whole-heartedsearch for someone in form l who could and would conjugate a whole french verb properly. notfinding anyone really good, she lost the good temper she had entered with that morning, and gave theclass a bad time.
she stalked out when the bell for break went. the girls crowded round alicia. 'oh, alicia! i nearlydied when you said "beer".'—'wasn't it a shame potty coming in like that?'—'will you get into afearful row, alicia?'
'darrell nearly yelled the roof off' said irene. 'i almost burst with trying not to laugh.'
t must go and hear what potty has to say,' said alicia. 'pity 1 forgot she was taking form 2 nextdoor! so long, mils!'