16 a bad time for darrell
the girls poured into the common room after their supper. they had half an hour before bedtime.
they were tired after their exciting day, and some of them were sleepy already.
alicia looked at darrell in surprise. 'why so gloomy?' she said.
'well—1 was just wondering about sally,' said darrell. 'hoping she wasn't very ill.'
'why ever should she be?' said alicia. "lots of people can't eat strawberries without getting a pain ora rash. one of my brothers is like that.'
alicia plunged into one of her bits of family history and darrell listened gratefully. alicia did notrelate stories that glorified herself, as gwendoline always did—she simply poured out amusing talesof the life she and her brothers led in the holidays at home—and, if alicia was to be believed, thepranks they got up to were enough to turn any mother's hair completely grey! however, alicia'smother had not seemed to darrell to have any grey hairs at all, when she had seen her that day.
the bed-time bell went for the first-and second-formers. they put away their things at once. matrondid not show much patience with laggards at bed-time. there were too many girls to hustle into bedfor that!
miss potts had not come back. darrell felt her anxiety creeping over her again. perhaps matronwould know. she would ask her about sally as soon as she saw her hovering around the bathrooms.
but matron wasn't there. mam'zelle was there instead, beaming placidly at everyone, still in a goodtemper because of the lovely day they had all had.
'hallo, mam'zelle! where's matron?' asked alicia in surprise.
'looking after sally hope,' said mam'zelle. 'ah, the poor child—she is in great pain.'
darrell's heart sank, is she—is she in the san. then?' she asked. girls who were ill were always put inthe san., which consisted of a good many nice rooms above the head mistress's own suite of rooms.
there was also a special matron for the san itself, a smiling, but strict hospital nurse, who wasextremely efficient not only at dealing with any kind of school accident or illness, but also at dealingwith any kind of girl!
'yes. of course she is in the san. she is very ill,' said mam'zelle. then, with her love of exaggerating,she added a sentence or two that sent darrell's heart down into her boots. 'it is her poor tommy—no,tummy is what you say, n 'est ce pas. she has a big pain there.'
'oh,' said darrell. 'do they—do they know what has caused the pain, mam'zelle? has sally hurtherself?'
mam'zelle didn't know. 'all i know is that it is not the strawberries and the ice-cream,' she said.
'because sally did not have any. she has told matron that.'
that made it all the more certain, then, that it must have been darrell's rough push and the fall thatfollowed! poor darrell! she felt so miserable that mam'zelle's sharp eyes noticed her downcast faceand she began to wonder if here was another girl about to be ill!
"you feel all right, my little darrell?' she said, in a sympathetic voice.
'oh, yes, thank you,' said darrell, startled, i'm just— well, just tired, i suppose.
darrell hardly slept at all that night. she was so horrified at what had happened. how could she havelost her temper so thoroughly, how could she have yelled at sally like that and how could she havesent her flying across the room? she, darrell, was wicked! it was true that sally was queer andannoying, but that was no excuse for darrell's behaviour.
now sally was ill and in pain. had she said anything about darrell losing her temper? darrell feltherself growing cold as she thought of what miss grayling might do if she heard.
'she would hear about my slapping gwendoline too, and she would send for me and tell me i was afailure already,' thought darrell. 'oh, sally, sally, do get better by tomorrow! then i'll tell you i'mterribly sorry, and i'll try to make it up to you all i can.'
she fell asleep at last, and was very tired when the dressing-bell rang for them all to get up. her firstthought was sally. she saw the girl's empty bed and shivered. how she hoped sally would be backthere that night!
she ran downstairs before any one else. she saw miss potts and went to her. 'please,' she said, 'how issally?'
miss potts thought what a kind child darrell was. 'she's not at all well, i'm afraid,' she said. 'thedoctor is still doubtful about what exactly is the matter. but she really seems rather ill, poor child. itwas so sudden, too—she seemed all right yesterday.'
darrell turned away, miserable. yes, sally had been all right till she had fallen across that chair. sheknew what was the matter—but nobody else did! it was plain that sally hadn't told anyone of thequarrel.
it was sunday. darrell prayed hard for sally all the time she was in church. she felt very guilty andashamed. she also felt very much afraid. she felt that she ought to tell miss potts or matron about thequarrel and how she had flung poor sally across the room—but she was too frightened to tell!
too frightened! darrell was so fearless in the usual way that it was something strange and queer toher to feel afraid. but she was afraid. supposing sally was very very ill! supposing—just supposingshe didn't get better! supposing darrell's temper caused all that!
she couldn't, couldn't tell anyone, because they would think her so wicked, and she would disgraceher mother and father. people would say "that's the girl whose temper caused her to be expelled frommalory towers! you know she made another girl terribly ill!"it would be awful to be sent away from malory towers in disgrace. she would never get over it. butshe was sure miss grayling wouldn't keep her another day if she knewthat she had caused sally's illness and pain.
'i can't tell anyone, i can't !' thought poor darrell. i'm afraid of letting people know, because of whatwould happen to me, and how it would make mother and daddy feel. i'm a coward, but i daren't tell.
i never knew 1 was a coward before!'
she suddenly thought of mary-lou, whom she had so often called a coward. poor mary-lou—nowshe knew how she felt when she was afraid of something. it was a horrible feeling. you couldn't getaway from it. how could she have sneered at mary-lou and taunted her? it was bad enough to feelafraid of something without being taunted about it.
darrell felt very sad and very humble. she had started the term in such high hopes and spirits. shewas going to be top! she was going to shine in everything and make her parents proud of her! shewas going to find a fine girl for a friend. and she hadn't done any of those things.
she had got a low place in the form. she hadn't found herself a friend. she had been hateful to littlemary-lou who had so shyly and eagerly offered her friendship—and now she had done somethingwicked and didn't dare to say anything about it!
darrell was certainly down in the dumps that day and nobody could rouse her out of them. miss pottswondered if she was sickening for something and kept a sharp eye on her. mary-lou was worried,and hovered round hoping to be able to do something. and for once darrell was kind to her and didnot snap at her to send her away. she felt grateful for mary-lou's liking and sympathy.
two doctors came to see sally that day! the news went round north tower house. 'she's fearfullyill! but it's nothing infectious so we're not in quarantine. poor sally. tessie says she had to go and seethe head this morning and she heard sally groaning in the san. rooms above!'
how darrell wished her mother was there that day! but she couldn't remember where her parents hadgone to, though they had told her. she had forgotten in the excitement of yesterday. she sat down in arocky corner by the sea, and thought things out.
she couldn't be a coward any longer, because it would be worse to stay at malory towers and knowshe was a coward than it would be to leave, knowing she had been brave enough to own up. butwhom should she tell?
i'd better write and tell sally's mother," she thought. "she's the one that's nearest to sally. i'll writeand tell her all about the quarrel, and how it happened and everything. i'll have to tell her, too, howsally says she hasn't got a sister. that's all very queer, but maybe mrs. hope will understand it. thenmrs. hope can do what she likes—tell the head, i expect! oh, dear! but i shall feel better when it'sdone.'
she left her seat by the sea and went back to north tower. she got out her writing pad and began towrite. it was not an easy letter to compose, but darrell always found writing easy, and she poured outeverything to mrs. hope— about the quarrel and what led up to it, and all about sally not wanting tospeak to mrs. rivers, and how unhappy she seemed to be. she was quite surprised to find how muchshe seemed to know about sally!
she felt better immediately she had finished the letter. she didn't read it through, but stuck a stamp onthe envelope and posted it at once. mrs. hope would get it the very next morning!
then another rumour ran through north tower. 'sally's taken a turn for the worse! a specialist iscoming to see her! her people have been telegraphed for! they're coming tomorrow!'
darrell could not eat anything at all that day. it was the longest day she had ever known. mary-lou,scared by darrell's stricken face, kept close by her—and darrell welcomed her and felt comforted.
mary-lou had no idea why darrell looked so miserable, and didn't dare to ask her. she forgot themany sneers and taunts that darrell had thrown at her for her weakness and feebleness; she onlywanted to help.
the other girls did not notice anything much. they went for walks, bathed, lay about in the sun, andhad a happy, lazy sunday. miss potts still kept an eye on darrell. what could be the matter with her?
was it sally's illness that was worrying her? no, it couldn't be. she hadn't been at all friendly withsally. nobody had, for that matter.
bed-time came at last. matron had no more news of sally, except that she was no better. no one wasallowed to see her, of course. matron had been quite shocked because darrrell had begged to go andsee her for a moment or two!
darrell lay in bed, thinking. the third- and fourth-formers came up to bed. the fifth-formers cameand then the sixth. then matron, mam'zelle and miss potts retired too, and darrell heard lightsclicking out. it was late. it was dark outside. everyone was asleep except darrell.
'i simply can't lie here thinking and thinking!' said darrell to herself desperately, and she flung off hercovers, i shall go mad ! i shall get up and go into the court! the roses will smell sweet there, and ishall get cool and perhaps be able to go to sleep!'
she slipped on her dressing-gown and went quietly out of the room. nobody stirred. she crept downthe wide stairs and out into the court. and then, in the stilless of the night, she heard the sound of acar purring up the hill to malory towers! it stopped outside. whoever could it be, so late at night?
darrell glanced up at the windows of the san. therewere bright lights there. sally couldn't be asleep, or the lights would be dimmed. what was going onnow? oh, dear, if only she knew!
darrell slipped through the archway that led from the court to the drive. yes, a car stood there, a darkshape, silent now and empty. whoever had come in it had gone into malory towers. darrell creptround to the door that led into the head's building. someone had left it open! she pushed it and wentinside. now she would find out what was happening!
