inside the great glass elevator there was also a good deal ofexcitement. charlie and mr
wonka and all the others could see clearly the huge silveryshape of space hotel 'u.s.a.'
about a mile ahead of them. and behind them was the smaller(but still pretty enormous)
transport capsule. the great glass elevator (not looking at allgreat now beside these two
monsters) was in the middle. and of course everybody, evengrandma josephine, knew
very well what was going on. they even knew that the threeastronauts in charge of the
transport capsule were called shuckworth, shanks andshowler. the whole world knew
about these things. newspapers and television had beenshouting about almost nothing else
for the past six months. operation space hotel was the eventof the century.
'what a load of luck!' cried mr wonka. 'we've landedourselves slap in the middle of the biggest space operation ofall time!'
'we've landed ourselves in the middle of a nasty mess,' saidgrandma josephine. 'turn back at once!'
'no, grandma,' said charlie. 'we've got to watch it now. wemust see the transport capsule linking up with the spacehotel.'
mr wonka floated right up close to charlie. 'let's beat them toit, charlie,' he whispered. 'let's get there first and go aboardthe space hotel ourselves!'
charlie gaped. then he gulped. then he said softly, 'it'simpossible. you've got to have all sorts of special gadgets tolink up with another spacecraft, mr wonka.'
'my elevator could link up with a crocodile if it had to,' saidmr wonka. 'just leave it to me, my boy!'
'grandpa joe!' cried charlie. 'did you hear that? we're goingto link up with the space hotel and go on board!'
'yippeeeeee!' shouted grandpa joe. 'what a brilliant thought,sir! what a staggering idea!'
he grabbed mr wonka's hand and started shaking it like athermometer.
'be quiet, you balmy old bat!' said grandma josephine. 'we'rein a hot enough stew already. i want to go home.'
'me, too!' said grandma georgina.
'what if they come after us?' said mr bucket, speaking for thefirst time.
'what if they capture us?' said mrs bucket.
'what if they shoot us?' said grandma georgina.
'what if my beard were made of green spinach?' cried mrwonka. 'bunkum and tummyrot! you'll never get anywhere ifyou go about what-iffing like that. would columbus havediscovered america if he'd said "what if i sink on the wayover? what if i meet pirates? what if i never come back?" hewouldn't even have started. we want no what-iffers aroundhere, right, charlie? off we go, then. but wait … this is a verytricky manoeuvre and i'm going to need help. there are threelots of buttons we have to press all in different parts of theelevator. i shall take those two over there, the white and theblack.' mr wonka made a funny blowing noise with his mouthand glided effortlessly, like a huge bird, across the elevator tothe white and black buttons, and there he hovered. 'grandpajoe, sir, kindly station yourself beside that silver button there …yes, that's the one … and you, charlie, go up and stay floatingbeside that little golden button near the ceiling. i must tell youthat each of these buttons fires booster rockets from differentplaces outside the elevator. that's how we change direction.
grandpa joe's rockets turn us to starboard, to the right.
charlie's turn us to port, to the left. mine make us go higheror lower or faster or slower. all ready?'
'no! wait!' cried charlie, who was floating exactly midwaybetween the floor and the ceiling. 'how do i get up? i can'tget up to the ceiling!' he was thrashing his arms and legsviolently, like a drowning swimmer, but getting nowhere.
'my dear boy,' said mr wonka. 'you can't swim in this stuff. itisn't water, you know. it's air and very thin air at that. there'snothing to push against. so you have to use jet propulsion.
watch me. first, you take a deep breath, then you make asmall round hole with your mouth and you blow as hard asyou can. if you blow downward, you jet-propel yourself up. ifyou blow to the left, you shoot off to the right and so on. youmanoeuvre yourself like a spacecraft, but using your mouth asa booster rocket.'
suddenly everyone began practising this business of flyingabout, and the whole elevator was filled with the blowings andsnortings of the passengers. grandma georgina, in her redflannel nightgown with two skinny bare legs sticking out of thebottom, was trumpeting and spitting like a rhinoceros and flyingfrom one side of the elevator to the other, shouting 'out ofmy way! out of my way!' and crashing into poor mr and mrsbucket with terrible speed. grandpa george and grandmajosephine were doing the same. and well may you wonderwhat the millions of people down on earth were thinking asthey watched these crazy happenings on their television screens.
you must realize they couldn't see things very clearly. thegreat glass elevator was only about the size of a grapefruit ontheir screens, and the people inside, slightly blurred through theglass, were no bigger than the pips of the grapefruit. even so,the watchers below could see them buzzing about wildly likeinsects in a glass box.
'what in the world are they doing?' shouted the president ofthe united states, staring at the screen.
'looks like some kind of a war-dance, mr president,' answeredastronaut showler over the radio.
'you mean they're red indians!' said the president.
'i didn't say that, sir.'
'oh, yes you did, showler.'
'oh, no i didn't, mr president.'
'silence!' said the president. 'you're muddling me up.'
back in the elevator, mr wonka was saying, 'please! please!
do stop flying about! keep still everybody so we can get onwith the docking!'
'you miserable old mackerel!' said grandma georgina, sailingpast him. 'just when we start having a bit of fun, you want tostop it!'
'look at me, everybody!' shouted grandma josephine. 'i'mflying! i'm a golden eagle!'
'i can fly faster than any of you!' cried grandpa george,whizzing round and round, his nightgown billowing out behindhim like the tail of a parrot.
'grandpa george!' cried charlie. 'do please calm down. if wedon't hurry, those astronauts will get there before us. don'tyou want to see inside the space hotel, any of you?'
'out of my way!' shouted grandma georgina, blowing herselfback and forth. 'i'm a jumbo jet!'
'you're a balmy old bat!' said mr wonka.
in the end, the old people grew tired and out of breath, andeveryone settled quietly into a floating position.
'all set, charlie and grandpa joe, sir?' said mr wonka.
'all set, mr wonka,' charlie answered, hovering near the ceiling.
'i'll give the orders,' said mr wonka. 'i'm the pilot. don't fireyour rockets until i tell you. and don't forget who is who.
charlie, you're port. grandpa joe, you're starboard.' mr wonkapressed one of his own two buttons and immediately boosterrockets began firing underneath the great glass elevator. theelevator leaped forward, but swerved violently to the right.
'hard a-port!' yelled mr wonka. charlie pressed his button. hisrockets fired. the elevator swung back into line. 'steady as yougo!' cried mr wonka. 'starboard ten degrees! … steady! …steady! … keep her there! …'
soon they were hovering directly underneath the tail of theenormous silvery space hotel. 'you see that little square doorwith the bolts on it?' said mr wonka. 'that's the dockingentrance. it won't be long now … port a fraction! … steady! …starboard a bit! … good … good … easy does it … we'renearly there …'
to charlie, it felt rather as though he were in a tiny row-boatunderneath the stern of the biggest ship in the world. thespace hotel towered over them. it was enormous. 'i can'twait,' thought charlie, 'to get inside and see what it's like.'