chawton, thursday (march 13).
as to making any adequate return for such a letter as yours, my dearest fanny, it is absolutely impossible. if i were to labor at it all the rest of my life, and live to the age of methuselah, i could never accomplish anything so long and so perfect; but i cannot let william go without a few lines of acknowledgment and reply.
i have pretty well done with mr. ——. by your description, he cannot be in love with you, however he may try at it; and i could not wish the match unless there were a great deal of love on his side. i do not know what to do about jemima branfill. what does her dancing away with so much spirit mean? that she does not care for him, or only wishes to appear not to care for him? who can understand a young lady?
poor mrs. c. milles, that she should die on the wrong day at last, after being about it so long! it was unlucky that the goodnestone party could not meet you; and i hope her friendly, obliging, social spirit, which delighted in drawing people together, was not conscious of the division and disappointment she was occasioning. i am sorry and surprised that you speak of her as having little to leave, and must feel for miss milles, though she[310] is molly, if a material loss of income is to attend her other loss. single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor, which is one very strong argument in favor of matrimony; but i need not dwell on such arguments with you, pretty dear.
to you i shall say, as i have often said before, do not be in a hurry, the right man will come at last; you will in the course of the next two or three years meet with somebody more generally unexceptionable than any one you have yet known, who will love you as warmly as possible, and who will so completely attract you that you will feel you never really loved before.
do none of the a.'s ever come to balls now? you have never mentioned them as being at any. and what do you hear of the gripps, or of fanny and her husband?
aunt cassandra walked to wyards yesterday with mrs. digweed. anna has had a bad cold, and looks pale. she has just weaned julia.
i have also heard lately from your aunt harriot, and cannot understand their plans in parting with miss s., whom she seems very much to value now that harriot and eleanor are both of an age for a governess to be so useful to, especially as, when caroline was sent to school some years, miss bell was still retained, though the others even then were nursery children. they have some good reason, i dare say, though i cannot penetrate[311] it; and till i know what it is i shall invent a bad one, and amuse myself with accounting for the difference of measures by supposing miss s. to be a superior sort of woman, who has never stooped to recommend herself to the master of the family by flattery, as miss bell did.
i will answer your kind questions more than you expect. "miss catherine" is put upon the shelf for the present, and i do not know that she will ever come out; but i have a something ready for publication, which may, perhaps, appear about a twelvemonth hence. it is short,—about the length of "catherine." this is for yourself alone. neither mr. salusbury nor mr. wildman is to know of it.
i am got tolerably well again, quite equal to walking about and enjoying the air, and by sitting down and resting a good while between my walks i get exercise enough. i have a scheme, however, for accomplishing more, as the weather grows spring-like. i mean to take to riding the donkey; it will be more independent and less troublesome than the use of the carriage, and i shall be able to go about with aunt cassandra in her walks to alton and wyards.
i hope you will think wm. looking well; he was bilious the other day, and at. cass. supplied him with a dose at his own request. i am sure you would have approved it. wm. and i are the[312] best of friends. i love him very much. everything is so natural about him,—his affections, his manners, and his drollery. he entertains and interests us extremely.
mat. hammond and a. m. shaw are people whom i cannot care for in themselves, but i enter into their situation, and am glad they are so happy. if i were the duchess of richmond, i should be very miserable about my son's choice.
our fears increase for poor little harriot; the latest account is that sir ev. home is confirmed in his opinion of there being water on the brain. i hope heaven, in its mercy, will take her soon. her poor father will be quite worn out by his feelings for her; he cannot spare cassy at present, she is an occupation and a comfort to him.
