by the rarest good fortune my grandmother started that afternoon for a visit to an old friend at the seashore, and, in the mild excitement of her departure, i do not think she noticed anything unusual in my demeanor.
"and so your amanuensis has left you?" she remarked, as she was eating a hasty luncheon. "sister sarah stopped for a moment and told me so. she said there was another one ready to take the place, if you wanted her."
i tried to suppress my feelings, but i must have spoken sharply.
"want her!" i exclaimed. "i want none of her!"
my grandmother looked at me for a moment.
"i shall be sorry, horace," she said, "if you find that the sisters do not work to suit you. i hoped that you might continue to employ them, because the house of martha is at such a convenient distance, and offers you such a variety of assistance to choose from; and also because you would contribute to a most worthy cause. you know that all the money they may make is to go to hospitals and that sort of thing."
"i was a little afraid, however," she continued, after a pause, "that the sister you engaged might not suit you. she was so much younger than the others that i feared that, away from the restraints of the institution, she might be a little frivolous. was she ever frivolous?"
"not in the least," i answered; "not for an instant."
"i am very glad to hear that," she remarked,—"very glad indeed. i take an interest in that sister. years ago i knew her family, but that was before she was born. i remember that i was intending to speak to you about her, but in some way i was interrupted."
"well," i asked, "tell me now, who is she?"
"she is," said my grandmother, "sister hagar, of the house of martha. she was sylvia raynor, of new haven. i think that in some way her life has been darkened. mother anastasia takes a great interest in her, and favors her a good deal. i know there was opposition to her entering the house, but she was determined to do it. you say you are not going to engage another sister? who is to be your amanuensis?"
"no one," i answered. "i shall stop writing for the present. this is a very good time. i've nearly reached the end of—a sort of division of the book."
"an excellent idea," said my grandmother, with animation. "you ought to go to the sea or the mountains. you have been working very hard. you are not looking well."
"i shall go, i shall go," i answered quickly; "fishing, probably, but i can't say where. i'll write to you as soon as i decide."
"now that is very pleasant," said my grandmother, as she rose from the table, "very pleasant indeed; and if you write that you will be away fishing for a week or two, i shall stay at the bromleys' longer than i intended,—perhaps until you return."
"a week or two!" i muttered to myself.
walkirk had sharper eyes than those of my grandmother. i am sure that when he came that evening he saw immediately that something was the matter with me,—something of moment. he was a man of too much tact to allude to my state of mind; but in a very short time i saved him all the trouble of circumspection, for i growled out that i could not talk about travels at present, and then told him that i could not write about them, either, for i had lost my secretary. his countenance exhibited much concern.
"but you can get another of the sisters," he said.
what i replied to this i do not remember, but i know i expressed myself so freely, so explicitly, and with such force that walkirk understood very well that i wanted the secretary i had lost, that i wanted none other, and that i wanted her very much indeed. in fact, he comprehended the situation perfectly.
i was not sorry. i wanted somebody to whom i could talk about the matter, in whom i could confide. in ten minutes i was speaking to walkirk in perfect confidence.
"but you can't do anything," said he, when there came a pause. "this is a case in which there is nothing to do. my advice is that you go away for a time, and try to get over it."
"i am going away," i replied.
"you could do nothing better," walkirk remarked. "i am altogether in favor of that, although of course such counsel is against my own interests."
"not at all," said i, catching his meaning, "for i shall take you with me."
after a considerable pause in the conversation walkirk inquired if i had decided where i would go.
"no," i answered, "that is your affair. my desire is to get away from every place where there is any chance of seeing a woman. i wish to obliterate from my mind all idea of the female human being. in fact, i think i should like to take lodgings near a monastery, and have the monks come and write for me,—a different one every day."
walkirk smiled. "since you wish me to select your retreat," he said, "i am bound to have an opinion regarding it. i might advise a visit to the trappists of kentucky, or to some remote fishing and hunting region; but it strikes me that a background made up of exclusive association with men would be very apt to bring out in strong relief any particular female image which you might have in your mind. i should say that the best way of getting rid of such an image would be to merge it in a lot of other female images."
"away with the idea!" i cried. "walkirk, i will neither merge nor relieve. i will go with you to some place where we shall see neither men nor women; where we can hunt, fish, sail, sleep, read, smoke, and banish the world. i don't wish you to take a servant. we can do without service, and if necessary i can cook. i put the whole matter in your hands, walkirk, and when you have decided on our destination let me know."
the next afternoon walkirk found me at my club in the city, and informed me that he had selected a place which he thought would suit my purposes.
"no people?" i asked.
"none but ourselves," replied he.
"very good," said i. "when can we start?"
"i shall be ready to-morrow afternoon," he answered, "and i will call for you at your house."
