night came, and the night had no terrors for julia. her hindu master had taught her the science of relaxation, and given her certain powerful suggestions, one being that she should fall asleep within half an hour of going to bed and not awaken for eight hours.
the morning, therefore, found her refreshed; and although she was still annoyed at the discovery that she had not made herself over once for all, she had no intention of rocking her feminine ego in her arms again for some time to come. another lesson she had learned was to switch thought off and on; she relegated her femaleness to the depths, and turned her attention to the work that had drawn her to england. the monthly bulletins with which mrs. herbert had remorselessly pursued her, alone would have kept her informed on every phase of the woman’s war, and she had heard somewhat of it elsewhere. she was satisfied that in this new and menacing demand for the ballot, women were prompted neither by vanity nor mere superfluous energy, but by an experience with poverty which had taught them that this great problem was their peculiar province. they were prepared to devote their lives to its solution, to court sacrifices such as man had never contemplated; and they had the time, the instinct, the practical knowledge, which would enable them, if armed with political power, to solve this hideous and disgraceful problem once for all.
julia had driven through a famine district in india and felt her brain wither, her veins freeze, as she stared at mile after mile of starving skeletons, lying or huddled by the roadside, feebly begging with eyes that seemed to accuse the almighty for multiplying the superfluous of earth. what to do for these wretches, dying by the million, she had no more idea than great britain herself; but if it was beyond human power to grapple with the question of starving millions in a season of drought in india, so much the more reason to attack the less desperate but no less abominable question in a land where the poor were the result of the callousness of man. in dealing with this complicated problem many lessons would be learned that might later be applied to poverty on the grand scale.
the ballot, therefore, was but a means to an end, and to assist in winning it she had returned; meaning to devote to it all her time, her energies, and her talents. but must she join this new “militant movement”? she frowned with distaste. as to many at that date, it seemed both foolish and vulgar. moreover, like all fastidious women that wish for fame, she shrank from notoriety, from figuring in any sort of public mess. however! she should soon be given her r?le, and whatever it might be, she was resolved to play it to a finish, and without protest.
meanwhile she was eating her breakfast, the one appetizing meal in england, and when she was further refreshed, she opened the newspaper on the tray, remembering the disaster in san francisco. the news was more encouraging. the city was still burning, but the loss of life had been comparatively small, and the inhabitants were either escaping in droves to the towns across the bay or camping on the hills behind san francisco. once more julia’s thoughts flew to daniel tay, and she conceived the idea of writing to him. surely an old friend could do no less, and now if ever he would be grateful for remembrance.
therefore, as soon as she was dressed, she went to the desk in the drawing-room and committed the most momentous act of her life. she wrote to tay a long and lively letter, full of feminine sympathy, of concern for his welfare and for that of his city. there were many allusions to their brief but unforgotten friendship (she had almost forgotten it!), references to his boyish sympathy, and assurances that she was now well, happy, free, and full of interest in life. “do write to me,” she concluded. “that is, if you ever receive this; and tell me all about your life in the past ten years. did you go on your ten-thousand-dollar spree? have you made your great fortune? are you ruling the destinies of your city? i have always felt sure you would never stop at being merely a rich man. and mrs. bode? and ella?” (alas!) “i do hope they have not suffered too much in this terrible disaster. if you like, if you have not wholly forgotten me all these years, i’ll write you of my life in the east these past four, and much else. i remember how freely i used to talk to you, dear little boy that you were, and i don’t think i have ever talked so freely to any one else. it would be rather exciting to correspond with you. but if you have quite lost interest in me, at least remember that i have not in you,—no! not for one moment—and long to hear how you have weathered this frightful calamity.”
now, why do women lie like that? julia was as truthful as any mortal who is a component part of that complicated organism known as society may be, but she wrote these lines without flinching, quite persuaded for the moment, indeed, that she meant every word of them. perhaps here lies the explanation, in so much as all memories are alive in the subconsciousness, and leap to the mind the instant their slumbers are disturbed by the essential vibration; there to assume full and dazzling control. let it go at that.
julia, as a matter of fact, looked somewhat dubiously at the last paragraph of her letter. it was not in the least oriental. she was also astonished at the length of the letter itself. she had long since discovered, however, that there are some people to whom one can write, and many more to whom one cannot. oddly enough nigel herbert was of the last. he wrote a colorless letter himself, never striking that spark which fires the epistolary ardor; but julia reflected that she could write for hours on end to daniel tay; she felt as if embarked on some vital current which leaped direct from london to san francisco, no less than seven thousand miles. she sealed the letter.
then she discovered that the sun was out and remembered that she had an aunt. her feelings for her only relative in england were not of unmixed cordiality, but it would be something at least to bask for a little in the presence of one so entirely satisfied with herself. moreover, she wanted news of her mother; and this duty was inevitable in any case.
she determined to walk the short distance to tilney street as she wished to post the letter herself. still exhilarated at the writing of it, she ignored the mud of the streets, sniffed the old familiar grimy air, with some abatement of nostalgia for the east, and even found amusement in the windows of bond street.
when she came to the first pillar box and applied her letter to its yawning mouth, she paused suddenly, assailed by one of those subtle feminine presentiments which her long residence in the orient had not taught her to despise. she withdrew the letter and walked on, smiling, but disturbed. she even passed two more boxes, but at the fourth shot the letter in. her planets had long since made a fatalist of her, more or less. and she had adventurous blood.
she found mrs. winstone risen, groomed, coifed, with even her smile on, and seated before her desk in the front ell of the drawing-room, answering notes and cards of invitation.
“ah, julia!” she said casually, as she rose and offered her cheek. “home again? how nice. but that coat and skirt, my dear! quite old style.”
“rather!” said julia, making herself comfortable. “i took them out with me. who’s your tailor now?”
“oh, a new man. a duck. i’ll take you to him this afternoon. just left one of the big houses, so his prices are quite possible—at present. glad you’ve kept your complexion. how is it you don’t sunburn?”
“i don’t fancy people born in the tropics ever do. glad you haven’t grown fat.”
“i’d put on a bit if it weren’t the fashion to look like a plank back and front. i’ve got to the age where i’d look better filled out. ’fraid i’m really gettin’ on. beaux are younger every year.”
“you look quite unchanged to me,” said julia, politely. “how’s the duke?”
“quite fit, i believe. they’re still at bosquith. margaret broke her leg huntin’.”
“have you heard from my mother lately? i have not, for several months. i had hoped to find a letter here.”
“i got her usual quarterly page the other day. she seems well enough. i’ve been to nevis since you left. nerves got rackety, and the doctor told me to go where i’d really be quiet. i was! but i shouldn’t wonder if i went again some day. never looked so well in my life as when i came back. simply vegetated.”
“and how does my mother look? i cannot imagine her changed—but—it is a good many years!”
“she looks exactly the same. ain’t you ever goin’ back?”
“not until she sends for me. i can’t help feeling that she doesn’t want me,—prefers not to be actively reminded of the last and most tragic disappointment of her life. i sometimes wonder that she writes to me. her letters are even briefer than those to you.”
“perhaps you are right. she hasn’t forgiven you—or herself. i tried to tell her some of your charmin’ experiences with harold,—there was so little to talk about, i thought it might be interestin’ to see how she took it,—but she wouldn’t listen!”
“poor mother! what a life! i wonder if she would let me have fanny?”
“fanny?”
“yes, i am quite alone, you know. i could do for her nicely, and it would almost be like having a child of my own.”
“i detest fanny,” said mrs. winstone, with some show of human emotion. “she’s a minx. jane will have her hands full three or four years from now.”
“she was such a dear little thing.”
“well, she’s a little devil now. i don’t say she mightn’t be halfway decent if she’d led a life like other children, but she’s never played with a white child, and rules those pic’nies like a she-dragon—she’s not too unlike jane in some things. her only companion is a washed-out middle-aged governess, who might as well try to manage a hurricane. jane vows she shall never marry. her mistake in france seems to have fixed her hatred of man once for all, and although fanny bores her, she’s of no two minds as to her duty toward the brat. she is never to meet a young man of her own class, if you please, and as soon as she is old enough is to be trained in all the duties relating to the estate. nice time jane’ll have preventin’ fanny meetin’ men if only one sets foot on the island; and there’s talk of rebuildin’ bath house. she’s overcharged with vitality, that child, she’s a will of iron, and she’s already an adept at deceivin’ her grandmother—no mean accomplishment! and she’ll get worse instead of better in that ghastly life. i wouldn’t trust her across the street three years from now.”
“oh, the poor little thing! she must be rescued. surely if my mother doesn’t care for her she’ll be the more willing to give her up. but she must, a little. she was strict with me, but always kind and even affectionate.”
“she’s not to fanny. she looks upon her as a plague; and with good reason, for a noisier or more messy child i never saw. but she’ll do her duty as she sees it.”
“i believe fanny is really adorable. i shall write at once and beg for her.”
“you won’t get her, and you needn’t regret it. i’m no fool where my sex is concerned: fanny’s the sort that’s put into the world to make trouble. what are your plans? shall you take a flat in town?”
“it will depend.” julia paused a moment and then hurled her bomb. “i’ve come back to enroll in the woman’s war.”
“what?” mrs. winstone looked about to faint; then her expression became stony. “why, women are disgracin’ their sex, makin’ perfect fools of themselves! bridgit herbert must have gone mad. all her friends will cut her. a woman of her class fightin’ men and sleepin’ in prison! she deserved all she got, and so will you if you’ve anything to do with these tatterdermalion females shriekin’ for notoriety. that’s all they’re after. forcin’ their way into the house of commons! no wonder the men are disgusted. it’s a middle-class movement, anyhow. you! that’s the reason, i suppose, you don’t mind wearin’ a coat and skirt four years old.”
“oh, but i do mind! i hope you’ll take me to your tailor this very day.”
“there! i knew you were jokin’. i should simply retire if i had a suffragette in the family. come down to luncheon and then we’ll go out and shop.”
