i shall endeavour to state the remainder of this narrative in the words of mr. collins. the reader has already had occasion to perceive that mr. collins was a man of no vulgar order; and his reflections on the subject were uncommonly judicious.
“this day was the crisis of mr. falkland’s history. from hence took its beginning that gloomy and unsociable melancholy, of which he has since been the victim. no two characters can be in certain respects more strongly contrasted, than the mr. falkland of a date prior and subsequent to these events. hitherto he had been attended by a fortune perpetually prosperous. his mind was sanguine; full of that undoubting confidence in its own powers which prosperity is qualified to produce. though the habits of his life were those of a serious and sublime visionary they were nevertheless full of cheerfulness and tranquillity. but from this moment, his pride, and the lofty adventurousness of his spirit, were effectually subdued. from an object of envy he was changed into an object of compassion. life, which hitherto no one had more exquisitely enjoyed, became a burden to him. no more self-complacency, no more rapture, no more self-approving and heart-transporting benevolence! he who had lived beyond any man upon the grand and animating reveries of the imagination, seemed now to have no visions but of anguish and despair. his case was peculiarly worthy of sympathy, since, no doubt, if rectitude and purity of disposition could give a title to happiness, few men could exhibit a more consistent and powerful claim than mr. falkland.
“he was too deeply pervaded with the idle and groundless romances of chivalry, ever to forget the situation, humiliating and dishonourable according to his ideas, in which he had been placed upon this occasion. there is a mysterious sort of divinity annexed to the person of a true knight, that makes any species of brute violence committed upon it indelible and immortal. to be knocked down, cuffed, kicked, dragged along the floor! sacred heaven, the memory of such a treatment was not to be endured! no future lustration could ever remove the stain: and, what was perhaps still worse in the present case, the offender having ceased to exist, the lustration which the laws of knight-errantry prescribe was rendered impossible.
“in some future period of human improvement, it is probable, that that calamity will be in a manner unintelligible, which in the present instance contributed to tarnish and wither the excellence of one of the most elevated and amiable of human minds. if mr. falkland had reflected with perfect accuracy upon the case, he would probably have been able to look down with indifference upon a wound, which, as it was, pierced to his very vitals. how much more dignity, than in the modern duellist, do we find in themistocles, the most gallant of the greeks; who, when eurybiades, his commander in chief, in answer to some of his remonstrances, lifted his cane over him with a menacing air, accosted him in that noble apostrophe, ‘strike, but hear!’
“how would a man of true discernment in such a case reply to his brutal assailant? ‘i make it my boast that i can endure calamity and pain: shall i not be able to endure the trifling inconvenience that your folly can inflict upon me? perhaps a human being would be more accomplished, if he understood the science of personal defence; but how few would be the occasions upon which he would be called to exert it? how few persons would he encounter so unjust and injurious as you, if his own conduct were directed by the principles of reason and benevolence? beside, how narrow would be the use of this science when acquired? it will scarcely put the man of delicate make and petty stature upon a level with the athletic pugilist; and, if it did in some measure secure me against the malice of a single adversary, still my person and my life, so far as mere force is concerned, would always be at the mercy of two. further than immediate defence against actual violence, it could never be of use to me. the man who can deliberately meet his adversary for the purpose of exposing the person of one or both of them to injury, tramples upon every principle of reason and equity. duelling is the vilest of all egotism, treating the public, who has a claim to all my powers and exertions, as if it were nothing, and myself, or rather an unintelligible chimera i annex to myself, as if it were entitled to my exclusive attention. i am unable to cope with you: what then? can that circumstance dishonour me? no; i can only be dishonoured by perpetrating an unjust action. my honour is in my own keeping, beyond the reach of all mankind. strike! i am passive. no injury that you can inflict, shall provoke me to expose you or myself to unnecessary evil. i refuse that; but i am not therefore pusillanimous: when i refuse any danger or suffering by which the general good may be promoted, then brand me for a coward!
“these reasonings, however simple and irresistible they must be found by a dispassionate enquirer, are little reflected on by the world at large, and were most of all uncongenial to the prejudices of mr. falkland.
“but the public disgrace and chastisement that had been imposed upon him, intolerable as they were to be recollected, were not the whole of the mischief that redounded to our unfortunate patron from the transactions of that day. it was presently whispered that he was no other than the murderer of his antagonist. this rumour was of too much importance to the very continuance of his life, to justify its being concealed from him. he heard it with inexpressible astonishment and horror; it formed a dreadful addition to the load of intellectual anguish that already oppressed him. no man had ever held his reputation more dear than mr. falkland; and now, in one day, he was fallen under the most exquisite calamities, a complicated personal insult, and the imputation of the foulest of crimes. he might have fled; for no one was forward to proceed against a man so adored as mr. falkland, or in revenge of one so universally execrated as mr. tyrrel. but flight he disdained. in the mean time the affair was of the most serious magnitude, and the rumour unchecked seemed daily to increase in strength. mr. falkland appeared sometimes inclined to adopt such steps as might have been best calculated to bring the imputation to a speedy trial. but he probably feared, by too direct an appeal to judicature, to render more precise an imputation, the memory of which he deprecated; at the same time that he was sufficiently willing to meet the severest scrutiny, and, if he could not hope to have it forgotten that he had ever been accused, to prove in the most satisfactory manner that the accusation was unjust.
“the neighbouring magistrates at length conceived it necessary to take some steps upon the subject. without causing mr. falkland to be apprehended, they sent to desire he would appear before them at one of their meetings. the proceeding being thus opened, mr. falkland expressed his hope that, if the business were likely to stop there, their investigation might at least be rendered as solemn as possible. the meeting was numerous; every person of a respectable class in society was admitted to be an auditor; the whole town, one of the most considerable in the county, was apprised of the nature of the business. few trials, invested with all the forms of judgment, have excited so general an interest. a trial, under the present circumstances, was scarcely attainable; and it seemed to be the wish both of principal and umpires, to give to this transaction all the momentary notoriety and decisiveness of a trial.
“the magistrates investigated the particulars of the story. mr. falkland, it appeared, had left the rooms immediately after his assailant; and though he had been attended by one or two of the gentlemen to his inn, it was proved that he had left them upon some slight occasion, as soon as he arrived at it, and that, when they enquired for him of the waiters, he had already mounted his horse and ridden home.
“by the nature of the case, no particular facts could be stated in balance against these. as soon as they had been sufficiently detailed, mr. falkland therefore proceeded to his defence. several copies of his defence were-made, and mr. falkland seemed, for a short time, to have had the idea of sending it to the press, though, for some reason or other, he afterwards suppressed it. i have one of the copies in my possession, and i will read it to you.”
saying this, mr. collins rose, and took it from a private drawer in his escritoire. during this action he appeared to recollect himself. he did not, in the strict sense of the word, hesitate; but he was prompted to make some apology for what he was doing.
“you seem never to have heard of this memorable transaction; and, indeed, that is little to be wondered at, since the good nature of the world is interested in suppressing it, and it is deemed a disgrace to a man to have defended himself from a criminal imputation, though with circumstances the most satisfactory and honourable. it may be supposed that this suppression is particularly acceptable to mr. falkland; and i should not have acted in contradiction to his modes of thinking in communicating the story to you, had there not been circumstances of peculiar urgency, that seemed to render the communication desirable.” saying this, he proceeded to read from the paper in his hand.
“gentlemen,
“i stand here accused of a crime, the most black that any human creature is capable of perpetrating. i am innocent. i have no fear that i shall fail to make every person in this company acknowledge my innocence. in the mean time, what must be my feelings? conscious as i am of deserving approbation and not censure, of having passed my life in acts of justice and philanthropy, can any thing be more deplorable than for me to answer to a charge of murder? so wretched is my situation, that i cannot accept your gratuitous acquittal, if you should be disposed to bestow it. i must answer to an imputation, the very thought of which is ten thousand times worse to me than death. i must exert the whole energy of my mind, to prevent my being ranked with the vilest of men.
“gentlemen, this is a situation in which a man may be allowed to boast. accursed situation! no man need envy me the vile and polluted triumph i am now to gain! i have called no witnesses to my character. great god! what sort of character is that which must be supported by witnesses? but, if i must speak, look round the company, ask of every one present, enquire of your own hearts! not one word of reproach was ever whispered against me. i do not hesitate to call upon those who have known me most, to afford me the most honourable testimony.
“my life has been spent in the keenest and most unintermitted sensibility to reputation. i am almost indifferent as to what shall be the event of this day. i would not open my mouth upon the occasion, if my life were the only thing that was at stake. it is not in the power of your decision to restore to me my unblemished reputation, to obliterate the disgrace i have suffered, or to prevent it from being remembered that i have been brought to examination upon a charge of murder. your decision can never have the efficacy to prevent the miserable remains of my existence from being the most intolerable of all burthens.
“i am accused of having committed murder upon the body of barnabas tyrrel. i would most joyfully have given every farthing i possess, and devoted myself to perpetual beggary, to have preserved his life. his life was precious to me, beyond that of all mankind. in my opinion, the greatest injustice committed by his unknown assassin was that of defrauding me of my just revenge. i confess that i would have called him out to the field, and that our encounter should not have been terminated but by the death of one or both of us. this would have been a pitiful and inadequate compensation for his unparalleled insult, but it was all that remained.
“i ask for no pity, but i must openly declare that never was any misfortune so horrible as mine. i would willingly have taken refuge from the recollection of that night in a voluntary death. life was now stripped of all those recommendations, for the sake of which it was dear to me. but even this consolation is denied me. i am compelled to drag for ever the intolerable load of existence, upon penalty, if at any period, however remote, i shake it off, of having that impatience regarded as confirming a charge of murder. gentlemen, if by your decision you could take away my life, without that act being connected with my disgrace, i would bless the cord that stopped the breath of my existence for ever.
“you all know how easily i might have fled from this purgation. if i had been guilty, should i not have embraced the opportunity? but, as it was, i could not. reputation has been the idol, the jewel of my life. i could never have borne to think that a human creature, in the remotest part of the globe, should believe that i was a criminal. alas! what a deity it is that i have chosen for my worship! i have entailed upon myself everlasting agony and despair!
“i have but one word to add. gentlemen, i charge you to do me the imperfect justice that is in your power! my life is a worthless thing. but my honour, the empty remains of honour i have now to boast, is in your judgment, and you will each of you, from this day, have imposed upon yourselves the task of its vindicators. it is little that you can do for me; but it is not less your duty to do that little. may that god who is the fountain of honour and good prosper and protect you! the man who now stands before you is devoted to perpetual barrenness and blast! he has nothing to hope for beyond the feeble consolation of this day!”
“you will easily imagine that mr. falkland was discharged with every circumstance of credit. nothing is more to be deplored in human institutions, than that the ideas of mankind should have annexed a sentiment of disgrace to a purgation thus satisfactory and decisive. no one entertained the shadow of a doubt upon the subject, and yet a mere concurrence of circumstances made it necessary that the best of men should be publicly put on his defence, as if really under suspicion of an atrocious crime. it may be granted indeed that mr. falkland had his faults, but those very faults placed him at a still further distance from the criminality in question. he was the fool of honour and fame: a man whom, in the pursuit of reputation, nothing could divert; who would have purchased the character of a true, gallant, and undaunted hero, at the expense of worlds, and who thought every calamity nominal but a stain upon his honour. how atrociously absurd to suppose any motive capable of inducing such a man to play the part of a lurking assassin? how unfeeling to oblige him to defend himself from such an imputation? did any man, and, least of all, a man of the purest honour, ever pass in a moment, from a life unstained by a single act of injury, to the consummation of human depravity?
“when the decision of the magistrates was declared, a general murmur of applause and involuntary transport burst forth from every one present. it was at first low, and gradually became louder. as it was the expression of rapturous delight, and an emotion disinterested and divine, so there was an indescribable something in the very sound, that carried it home to the heart, and convinced every spectator that there was no merely personal pleasure which ever existed, that would not be foolish and feeble in the comparison. every one strove who should most express his esteem of the amiable accused. mr. falkland was no sooner withdrawn than the gentlemen present determined to give a still further sanction to the business, by their congratulations. they immediately named a deputation to wait upon him for that purpose. every one concurred to assist the general sentiment. it was a sort of sympathetic feeling that took hold upon all ranks and degrees. the multitude received him with huzzas, they took his horses from his carriage, dragged him along in triumph, and attended him many miles on his return to his own habitation. it seemed as if a public examination upon a criminal charge, which had hitherto been considered in every event as a brand of disgrace, was converted, in the present instance, into an occasion of enthusiastic adoration and unexampled honour.
“nothing could reach the heart of mr. falkland. he was not insensible to the general kindness and exertions; but it was too evident that the melancholy that had taken hold of his mind was invincible.
“it was only a few weeks after this memorable scene that the real murderer was discovered. every part of this story was extraordinary. the real murderer was hawkins. he was found with his son, under a feigned name, at a village about thirty miles distant, in want of all the necessaries of life. he had lived there, from the period of his flight, in so private a manner, that all the enquiries that had been set on foot, by the benevolence of mr. falkland, or the insatiable malice of mr. tyrrel, had been insufficient to discover him. the first thing that had led to the detection was a parcel of clothes covered with blood, that were found in a ditch, and that, when drawn out, were known by the people of the village to belong to this man. the murder of mr. tyrrel was not a circumstance that could be unknown, and suspicion was immediately roused. a diligent search being made, the rusty handle, with part of the blade of a knife, was found thrown in a corner of his lodging, which, being applied to a piece of the point of a knife that had been broken in the wound, appeared exactly to correspond. upon further enquiry two rustics, who had been accidentally on the spot, remembered to have seen hawkins and his son in the town that very evening and to have called after them, and received no answer, though they were sure of their persons. upon this accumulated evidence both hawkins and his son were tried, condemned, and afterwards executed. in the interval between the sentence and execution hawkins confessed his guilt with many marks of compunction; though there are persons by whom this is denied; but i have taken some pains to enquire into the fact, and am persuaded that their disbelief is precipitate and groundless.
“the cruel injustice that this man had suffered from his village-tyrant was not forgotten upon the present occasion. it was by a strange fatality that the barbarous proceedings of mr. tyrrel seemed never to fall short of their completion; and even his death served eventually to consummate the ruin of a man he hated; a circumstance which, if it could have come to his knowledge, would perhaps have in some measure consoled him for his untimely end. this poor hawkins was surely entitled to some pity, since his being finally urged to desperation, and brought, together with his son, to an ignominious fate, was originally owing to the sturdiness of his virtue and independence. but the compassion of the public was in a great measure shut against him, as they thought it a piece of barbarous and unpardonable selfishness, that he had not rather come boldly forward to meet the consequences of his own conduct, than suffer a man of so much public worth as mr. falkland, and who had been so desirous of doing him good, to be exposed to the risk of being tried for a murder that he had committed.
“from this time to the present mr. falkland has been nearly such as you at present see him. though it be several years since these transactions, the impression they made is for ever fresh in the mind of our unfortunate patron. from thenceforward his habits became totally different. he had before been fond of public scenes, and acting a part in the midst of the people among whom he immediately resided. he now made himself a rigid recluse. he had no associates, no friends. inconsolable himself, he yet wished to treat others with kindness. there was a solemn sadness in his manner, attended with the most perfect gentleness and humanity. every body respects him, for his benevolence is unalterable; but there is a stately coldness and reserve in his behaviour, which makes it difficult for those about him to regard him with the familiarity of affection. these symptoms are uninterrupted, except at certain times when his sufferings become intolerable, and he displays the marks of a furious insanity. at those times his language is fearful and mysterious, and he seems to figure to himself by turns every sort of persecution and alarm, which may be supposed to attend upon an accusation of murder. but, sensible of his own weakness, he is anxious at such times to withdraw into solitude: and his domestics in general know nothing of him, but the uncommunicative and haughty, but mild, dejection that accompanies every thing he does.”
