because miss w—— lived some distance from the city and would remain there until her school season opened, i neglected to write to her; but once september had come and the day of her return was near i began to think of her and soon was as keenly interested as ever. her simplicity and charm came back to me with great force, and i one day sat down and wrote her a brief letter recalling our chicago days and asking her how long it would be before she would be returning to st. louis. i was rather nervous now lest she should not answer.
in due time, however, a note came in which she told me that she expected to be at florissant, about twenty or twenty-five miles out of st. louis, by september fifteenth, when her school work would begin, and that she would be in st. louis shortly afterward to visit an aunt and hoped to see me. there was something about the letter so simple, direct and yet artful that it touched me deeply. as i have said, i really knew nothing of the conditions which surrounded her, and yet from the time i received this letter i sensed something that appealed to me: a rurality and simplicity plus a certain artful daintiness—the power, i suppose, to pose under my glance and yet evade—which held me as in a vise. beside her, all others seemed harder, holder, or of coarser fiber.
it does not matter now but as i look back on it there seems to have been more of pure, exalted or frenetic romance in this thing (at first, and even a year or so afterward), than in any mating experience of which i have any recollection, with the possible exception of alice. unlike most of my other affairs, this (in the beginning at least) seemed more a matter of pure romance or poetry, a desire to see and be near her. indeed i could only think of her as a part of some idyllic country scene, of walking or riding with her along some leafy country lane, of rowing a little boat on a stream, of sitting with her under trees in a hammock, of watching her play tennis, of being with her where grass, flowers, trees and a blue sky were. in that idyllic world of the fair she had seemed well-placed. this must be a perfect love, i thought. here was your truly sweet, pure girl who inspired a man with a nobler passion than mere lust. i began to picture myself with her in a home somewhere, possibly here in st. louis, of going with her to church even, for i fancied she was of a strict religious bent, of pushing a baby carriage—indeed, of leading a thoroughly domestic life, and being happy in it!
we fell into a correspondence which swiftly took on a regular form and resulted, on my part, in a most extended correspondence, letters so long that they surprised even myself. i found myself in the grip of a letter-writing fever such as hitherto had never possessed me, writing long, personal, intimate accounts of my own affairs, my work, my dreams, what not, as well as what i thought of her, of the beauty of life as i had seen it with her in chicago, my theories and imaginings in regard to everything. as i see it now, this was perhaps my first and easiest attempt at literary expression, the form being negligible and yet sufficient to encompass and embody without difficulty all the surging and seething emotions and ideas which had hitherto been locked up in me, bubbling and steaming to the explosion point. indeed the newspaper forms to which i was daily compelled to confine myself offered no outlet, and in addition, in miss w—— i had found a seemingly sympathetic and understanding soul, one which required and inspired all the best that was in me. i was now, as i told myself, on the verge of something wonderful, a new life. i must work, save, advance myself and better my condition generally, so as to be worthy of her.... at the very same time i was still able to see beauty in other women and the cloying delights of those who would never be able to be as good as she! they might be good enough for me but far beneath her whose eyes were “too pure to behold evil.”
in the latter part of september she came to st. louis and gave me my first delighted sight of her since we had left chicago. at this time i was at the topmost toss of my adventures in st. louis. i was, as i now assumed, somebody. by now also i had found a new room in the very heart of the city, on broadway near the southern, and was leading a bachelor existence under truly metropolitan circumstances. this room was on the third floor rear of a building which looked out over some nondescript music hall whose glass roof was just below and from whence nightly, and frequently in the afternoon, issued all sorts of garish music hall clatter, including music and singing and voices in monologue or dialogue. one block south were the southern hotel, faust’s restaurant, and the olympic theater. in the block north were the courthouse and dick’s old room, which by now he had abandoned, having in spite of all his fine dreams of a resplendent heiress married a girl whom together we had met in the church some months before—a circus-rider! thereafter he had removed to a prosaic flat on the south side, an institution which seemed to me but a crude and rather pathetic attempt at worthless domesticity.
i should like to report here that something over a year later this first marriage of his terminated in the death of his wife. later—some two or three years—he indulged in a second most prosaic and inartistic romance—wedding finally, on this occasion, the daughter of a carpenter. and her name—sopheronisby boanerga watkins. and a year or two after this she was burned to death by an exploding oil stove. and this was the man who was bent on capturing an heiress.
in my new room therefore, because it was more of a center, i had already managed to set up a kind of garret salon, which was patronized by dick and peter, rodenberger, dunlap, brady and a number of other acquaintances. no sooner was i settled here than michaelson, whose affairs i had straightened out by getting him a place on the republic, put in an appearance, and also john maxwell, who because of untoward conditions in chicago had come to st. louis to better his fortunes. but more of that later.
in spite of all these friends and labors and attempts at aiding others, it was my affair with miss w—— which now completely engrossed me. so seriously had i taken this new adventure to heart that i was scarcely able to eat or sleep. once i knew definitely that she was inclined to like me, as her letters proved, and the exact day of her arrival had been fixed, i walked on air. i had not been able to save much money since i had been on the republic (possibly a hundred dollars all told, and that since my brothers had left), but of that i took forty or fifty and bought a new fall suit of a most pronounced if not startling pattern, the coat being extra long and of no known relation to any current style (an idea of my own), to say nothing of such extras as patent leather shoes, ties, collars, a new pearl-gray hat—all purchased in view of this expected visit for her especial delectation! although i had little money for what i considered the essentials of courtship—theater boxes, dinners and suppers at the best restaurants, flowers, candy—still i hoped to make an impression. why shouldn’t i? being a newspaper man and an ex-dramatic editor, to say nothing of my rather close friendship with the present republic critic, i could easily obtain theater tickets, although the exigencies of my work often prevented, as i discovered afterward, my accompanying her for more than an hour at a time.
